Chapter Six
“Come on Meg. I don’t want to be late.” Lexi’s voice bellowed up the staircase, but Meg heard her tone soften as she turned her attention to the kitten at the foot of the stairs. “Hello, little Spencer. Do you love your new home?”
Meg came out of her room and looked at her friend below. She held up one finger before disappearing to trade her zip-up hoodie for a light sweater. She took it off immediately and eyed her discarded sweatshirt on the closet doorknob. “How cold is it out?”
“It’s fucking cold, what’s with you?”
Meg went back into her room and returned with a thick sweater this time. Lexi squinted at Meg’s bizarre wardrobe debate. “Why are you stalling? Kam is a stickler for time and so are you. Are you trying to get kicked out of the club?”
“No.” Meg stood still at the top of the stairs. “Yes.” She futzed with the roll-neck collar. “Maybe,” she said, changing her answer a third time. “I don’t know.”
“What the hell, Meg?” Lexi scooted the cat off her lap and marched up the stairs to guide Meg down by her sleeve. “Leave this on. It looks fine. Now, what’s going on?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Obviously you do.”
Meg stopped on the landing and looked off to the side. “I just…I feel kind of uncomfortable around Kam.”
“Like, intimidated? I thought you idolized her business sense.” Lexi squeezed Meg’s arm. “I know she can be a lot to take, but this is your chance to get an insider’s view on this whole place. She trusts us. She trusts you. She wouldn’t have asked us to be involved if she didn’t. Believe me.”
“It’s not that.” Meg shifted from foot to foot, nervous about the source of her stress. “You’re right. I should totally take advantage of this opportunity. It’s just—”
“Oh my God.” Lexi cut her off. “Did she hit on you?”
“Gross.” Meg knew her face showed disgust and she tried to rein it in. “No.” She sighed heavily. “Wait, why would you even say that?”
“I don’t know.” Lexi shook her head. “Sorry.”
“No, it’s fine. I mean she didn’t. But it sort of leads into why I feel weird around her.” Meg knew she wasn’t making sense. She took a deep breath, knowing she was about to come clean about what she had witnessed. “Here’s the thing, Lex.” She searched for the most delicate way to put it. “I know some stuff about her. Kam, I mean. It makes it awkward for me to be around her.”
Lexi narrowed her eyes and shook her head, clearly waiting for more explanation.
“Okay, so, I don’t know how to tell you this, but I’m pretty sure she’s messing around with that renter I used to date, Taylor.”
“Okay.”
Crap, Lexi didn’t get what she was saying. She was going to have to spell it out. “Like, I’m not saying I saw them flirting at a social or anything.” She tried to read Lexi’s expression, but decided to just come out with it. “Last year I saw them full on making out in front of the Bay West office. I never said anything to anyone and I guess I blocked it out or figured it ended, or whatever, but then I saw the two of them the other day in the back of the auxiliary parking lot. They were pretty much all over each other.” She reached for Lexi’s arm to help her process the information.
“And?”
“And? There needs to be an and?” Meg was floored. “Lex, do you hear what I’m saying. Kam is cheating on Mary. And I know about it. I’m friends with Mary. Not great friends, but acquaintances. And she’s your godmother. And your parents’ friend. It’s been eating me up inside.”
“I know, Meg.”
There was a long silence as Meg fully registered what Lexi meant. “You know?”
She watched Lexi twist and chew her lip before letting out a big sigh. “That’s why I said and—because I wasn’t sure how much you knew and I didn’t want to, like, out them, I guess.” She ran her hands through her long hair and shook the curls between her fingers. It was one of her tells. Meg knew she was nervous, but Lexi continued on. “Meg, they have an open relationship. Kam and Mary.”
Meg took a step back and held up both of her hands. “So you knew about this? About Taylor?”
Lexi nodded. “Are you mad I didn’t tell you? Because Taylor’s your ex?”
“Oh my God, no.” Meg shook her head, still reeling from the info. “I’m mad you didn’t tell me because I’ve lost sleep over this.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t know who knows. I didn’t want to say anything. It’s none of my business, really.”
“How long have you known? I mean, how long has it been going on?”
“I’m not sure,” she said. “I saw them together too. Kam and Taylor. Not the way you did, but flirting and stuff. I mentioned it to Marnie and she told me about their arrangement.”
“Arrangement?” Meg almost choked on nothing. She cleared her throat repeatedly. “You’re telling me there’s an arrangement?”
“I guess so.”
“And you’re just fine with this?” Meg was too stunned, both at the confirmation of her suspicions and by her best friend’s cavalier acceptance. “Forgive me if I seem completely fucking shocked at your blasé attitude right now.”
“It’s not about whether or not I’m fine with it. It has nothing to do with me.”
“But you think it’s okay? You think it’s normal,” Meg challenged.
“No.” Lexi paused. “I don’t know.” She grabbed Meg’s arm and led them to the door as she talked. “They’ve been together since they were, well, since Mary was nineteen. It’s a long time.”
Meg stopped to face her. “Lexi, come on.”
“I’m with you, Meg. Honestly. But I’m trying not to judge. I love them. Both of them. Even despite the fact that Mary once had a thing with Jesse,” she said, blinking heavily at the admission. “I want Kam and Mary to be happy. If this is what works for them, who am I to criticize, right?”
“You’re a better person than I am.”
Lexi huffed out a laugh. “I’m just trying to be open-minded. But let me make one thing clear—I’m not sharing my wife with anyone. Ever.” She tossed her hair over her shoulders looking resolute.
“Well thank fucking God. I was beginning to think I was the only one who believed in traditional relationships anymore.”
“Said the lesbian.”
“Lesbian or not, I’m a one-woman girl.” She nodded emphatically. “No threesomes, no wife-swapping. Call me boring, vanilla, I don’t care. I know what I want and what I don’t.”
“Speaking of, are we ever going to talk about seeing Sasha at Roaring Twenties?”
Meg bent down to give Spencer one last scratch between her ears before turning the lock and pulling the front door closed behind her. “It was weird, right?”
“What did you talk about?”
“Nothing. She said hi and then Reina was there. There was really no conversation.”
“Did Reina say anything about it?”
“Not really. She started to, but we dropped it.”
“Meg.” Lexi stopped at the corner to let a car pass, but even after it zipped by she didn’t move. She waited for Meg’s attention before she said, “I have to ask—what is the story with you and Reina?”
“Uh…she’s my girlfriend,” Meg answered, some zing to her tone. “So, no story.”
“Meg, come on. You’re not fooling me. As a matter of fact, you gave me this same lecture when I was dating Julie a few years ago.”
Meg furrowed her brow. “What lecture is that?”
“When I was with Julie for all the wrong reasons, you sat me down and told me relationships aren’t about what makes sense in your head. You said you have to lead with your heart.” When Meg laughed, Lexi punched her biceps. “Don’t laugh at me, I’m being serious.”
“I seriously doubt I ever said lead with your heart.”
“Well, you said something like that, jerk,” Lexi responded, stifling a smile. “And you were right.”
Meg bounced off the curb onto the dark asphalt. “Where are you going with this, Lex?”
“Hey”—Lexi grabbed Meg’s arm, stopping them both dead in the middle of the street—“listen to me.”
“What?”
“I know Reina was a rebound for you.”
“That’s not true,” Meg challenged. “I liked her.” She looked at the ground as she caught herself and immediately corrected her statement. “I like her.” She knew she could confide in Lexi that her reasons for dating Reina didn’t add up anymore. When they’d gotten together, she’d been heartbroken over Sasha. Reina was sweet and attractive and clearly interested. The beginning was all honeymoon as beginnings are, but Meg had felt for a while now that they had no future together. She strongly suspected Reina felt the exact same way. And while she could say all of these things to her best friend, she knew she didn’t need to.
Meg stuffed her hands in her pockets and looked up at the dark sky. She moved out of the street toward the path that led to Bay West’s rental section, tossing her arm across Lexi’s shoulders. “Did you talk to Sasha at all the other night?” she asked.
Lexi nodded. “A little. I bumped into her on line for the bathroom.”
“It’s funny, Tracy told me she and Betsy saw her a few weeks ago at The Kitchen but they didn’t talk to her,” she said. “How is she?”
“She seemed good. Different.”
Meg tilted her head. “Different how?”
“I don’t know. Just different. Relaxed. Comfortable.” She pinched Meg’s hip. “She asked about you.”
Meg chuckled at the contact. “What’d you say?”
“I told her you were into leather now. That if she wanted to get back with you, she was going to have to be completely submissive.”
Meg pushed her sideways. “You’re an ass,” she said, pulling her back in right away. “What did you really say?”
“Nothing. I told her you were fine. Good. Generic stuff.” Lexi looped her arm through Meg’s. “Meg, she’s still in love with you.”
“Oh yeah, she told you that while she was waiting to pee?”
“I can tell.”
“From the way she was standing in line, or…”
“Make fun all you want but I have an eye for this stuff. You know I do. I also know you still love her.” She leaned into Meg, her voice getting more serious by the second. “So you’re telling me that Tracy saw her recently at The Kitchen and now we run into her here.” She paused, but not long enough for Meg to say anything. “Oh my God, Meg, she’s trying to see you. It’s so obvious. That’s why she was at the club last Friday.”
“Or”—Meg met Lexi’s sincerity with a syrupy smile—“she was in the mood to dance.”
“Then why go to the dykiest dance party in the city, though?” Lexi ushered them in the direction of the office. “Why not go to any one of the hundreds of straight clubs out there?” She nodded in support of her own assessment. “Nope. Not buying it. Roaring Twenties is the gayest of the girl scene, and The Kitchen…need I say more?”
“So what? You think she’s a lesbian now?”
Lexi crinkled her forehead. “I think she was a lesbian always. Or at least bi, or whatever. So do you.” She stopped two steps from the condo that doubled as Bay West’s business office and shook her head. “I don’t know, Meg. I know I only saw her for two seconds, but she was, I don’t know…” She drifted off quietly for a second, seeming to ponder her own statement. “All I can come up with is different.” She shrugged as she met Meg’s eyes. “What if she’s finally ready to be who she is?”
Meg stepped forward and pressed the doorbell. “Like it matters, anyway,” she said dismissively.
“Like it doesn’t,” Lexi countered, full of sass and obvious disbelief, her tone calling Meg’s bluff on the spot. Meg knew Lexi could see right through her, but she was spared the effort of coming up with a rebuttal when Kam Browne opened the door and pulled them in from the cold.
*****
“Hey, there.” Meg tossed a look at Reina closing the front door firmly behind her. “I was getting worried.”
Reina hung her bag off the top of a kitchen chair. “There was a procedure that went long early in the day. All the appointments were backed up after that. I should have called.”
“No big. I just got back from my meeting with Kam a bit ago anyway.” She wiggled her eyebrows. “I made stir-fry.”
“Smells awesome,” Reina said crossing the space to wash her hands at the sink. She leaned over to Meg in front of the stove and pecked her cheek lightly. She’d only been in the house for a minute, but there was something in her body language that seemed distant.
“You okay?” Meg asked.
“Long day. Let’s eat.” Reina smiled, but it looked forced to Meg. She decided to let it go.
“Tell me about your day,” Meg said. She enjoyed hearing about Reina’s work at the dental office because it was so different from her own job. Plus, Reina loved talking about it, and Meg thought the topic might shift the energy.
“Not much to tell. Pretty routine day.” Reina picked up her phone and answered a text quickly. She scooped up some rice and veggies on her fork, but rested it on her plate to continue texting. She typed feverishly for more than a minute. Meg noticed a small grin playing at the corners of her mouth.
Meg nodded at the phone. “What’s up?”
“Nothing,” Reina answered, finally taking her first bite. “Melinda was just telling me a funny thing that happened at the building.”
“Oh yeah? What was it?”
Reina shook her head, swallowing her food. “It’s stupid, just this thing with the super.” She waved her fork as if to brush off the topic. “Anyway, how was work for you?”
“Fine,” Meg said quickly, choosing instead to recap the details of her meeting with Kam. “Lexi and I had our meeting with Kam Browne before. She loved Sam’s new design for the website. We told her about some of the ideas we have. We’re thinking of doing a singles dating thing maybe and a summer carnival,” she added. She looked up at Reina for a reaction, but she was busy texting again. Meg stopped talking to wait for Reina’s attention, but it didn’t come. Every few seconds Meg watched her read her texts and thumb her responses in rapid succession, making no secret where her head was.
“I don’t even know why you want to get involved in the inner workings of this place,” Reina said without looking up. Her comment was flip and her tone dismissive. It thoroughly pissed Meg off.
Meg stopped eating and raised her eyebrows in challenge. “Excuse me?”
Reina sipped her iced tea and Meg noticed her eyes darting to her phone as she obviously struggled to resist reading the text coming through. She met Meg’s eyes, but barely. “I don’t get it. Sorry.” She reached for her cell. “You really want to be part of running this place? Bay West is fun, I guess, but it’s kind of incestuous. I mean, I would never want to live here.”
“I guess it’s a good thing you don’t then.” Her response was sharp but she didn’t care. This night was starting to annoy her. Reina was barely present and now she was picking a fight. She knew how much Meg loved Bay West—the people, the parties, the community, all of it. She also knew this opportunity was important to her, and a little support wouldn’t have killed her. Meg didn’t have a clue where the negativity was coming from anyway. Sure, Reina didn’t live here, but her cousin lived around the corner and she’d been enjoying the community perks well before she and Meg had started dating. Suddenly, it dawned on her. This wasn’t about Bay West at all.
Meg got up from the table and walked the length of the small kitchen hoping for courage for what she knew she was about to do. She turned around to see Reina deep in her phone again.
“Reina?”
“Hmm?” she answered, not bothering to pull her eyes away. It took a minute, but Meg waited until she finished texting and looked up.
“Reina.” She swallowed hard. In her heart Meg knew that they were both ready for this, but still she wondered how much of the timing had to do with her conversation with Lexi earlier. She blew out a long breath and convinced herself it didn’t matter. “Reina, what are we doing?”
She saw Reina’s face drop for a second before her features settled into a relaxed, complacent look. Although she said nothing, her expression spoke volumes. Reina was right there with her, Meg was sure of it, and for the first time all evening, she put down her phone and focused her attention directly on Meg. Finally, she spoke. “I don’t know, Meg.” She sounded stressed, but not uncertain, despite her words to the contrary.
Meg pulled out the kitchen chair and flopped in it. She put a hand on Reina’s knee. “I don’t want to fight with you.”
“Me either.”
“It just feels like we’re going through the motions these days.”
Reina looked as though she wanted to disagree, but didn’t. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this, Meg.”
“I know.” Meg frowned as she rubbed the thin cotton of Reina’s scrubs. “But somehow it is.” There was a long pause before Meg spoke again. “Maybe it’s just because I’m greedy, but I think we both deserve more than this.” She watched Reina nod once, seeming to agree. “Maybe it’s better to quit while we’re ahead.” She shrugged, feeling that her words fell short of her sentiment.
Reina reached for Meg’s hand, making direct eye contact for the first time all night. “I know you’re right,” she said. “Is it just me or does this feel like failure?”
“It’s not.” Meg tucked a strand of Reina’s silky black hair behind her ear, the gesture oddly intimate in spite of the conversation. “Reina, we like each other. We just seem not to be progressing. But no one is hurting. It’s just not meant to be.” Meg held in the ironic smile she felt forming on her lips. “It’s funny in a way. On paper we’re perfect.”
“We do want the same things.”
“I’m sure we’ll both have them someday.” She waited a beat. “Just not with each other.”
“That sounds sad.”
“It’s not, Reina.” She gave another small shrug. “It’s just life.”
“Meg, you should know”—Reina glanced at her phone reflexively—“there’s nothing going on with me and Melinda. I’m serious. I would never do that to you.”
Meg supposed it didn’t matter anymore but she appreciated Reina’s sincerity. “Okay.”
“Honestly, Meg. I don’t want you to think—”
“I believe you.”
Reina touched the corner of her eye, perhaps to catch a tear, Meg wasn’t sure. “This is, like, the nicest breakup ever.”
“Hello? We’re fucking awesome people.”
A small laugh escaped Reina and it made Meg smile. “You can still stay here tonight, if you want. It’s already late. Queens is a hike and I know you’re working early tomorrow.”
Reina stood and let out a long breath. “You’re sweet, but I think I’ll just walk around to Teddy’s and crash there.”
Meg nodded resolutely as she stood up and was pleasantly surprised when Reina pulled her into a hug. They held each other tightly for a long minute, and when they parted, Meg saw real tears streaking Reina’s cheeks. Whether they were spurred by loss or liberation, she wasn’t immediately sure. But later when she stopped to think about it, the answer was crystal clear—if Reina’s emotions at all mirrored her own, it was both.