Chapter Thirteen
The smell of morning coffee wafted from the vendors that lined the short crosstown walk from Meg’s bus stop to her office on Manhattan’s East Side. Back in the day, she and Sasha walked these same blocks a hundred times over. She didn’t know why that memory came to her just now, but decided not to stress it. Instead she indulged herself reminiscing all the times Sasha fell prey to this very coffee cart on the corner of Fifty-Third and Third. They had gigantic coffee rolls and Sasha had a sweet tooth she caved to daily. It was amazing Sasha wasn’t a thousand pounds with all the junk food she ate.
Reaching into her satchel for her phone, Meg’s heart beat fast as she banged away on the keypad. She had been looking for an excuse to communicate since last week’s trivia event. This was pretty weak. She went for it anyway.
How are you surviving without the coffee rolls from the stand outside Sullivan?
The response was immediate. I’m not.
OMG, you’re dying? she typed, but then scrutinized her own words. It seemed insensitive considering Sasha’s mother had died only a little over a year ago. She deleted it. Do you still come over this way to get them? She was genuinely curious, but as she looked the question over it sounded like an invite. Erasing it, she took another stab. Should I have one sent to your apartment? She shrugged. Fuck it. She pressed the send arrow before wimping out.
Um…yes, please. More bubbles appeared before she could respond. Even better, hand deliver it! I have coffee…
Meg smiled. LOL, she answered. Nice, safe, noncommittal.
So that’s a no?
I’m at work sadly.
Boo. Only a second passed before another message appeared. And who are you kidding? You’re not sad. You love it there.
Sasha knew her too well. I know. But I have a meeting at Dillinger Pharmco this afternoon and I’m really not ready for it.
You’ll be fine. You always are. The sentence was punctuated with a smiley face and Meg thought they might be done, but then another text appeared right away. Hey, Dillinger’s HQ is right over by Hunter College, right? I have class later. Any chance you’re free for lunch?
Meg frowned even as she tried to mentally juggle her schedule. She’d been balancing a heavy client load in the hopes of garnering a promotion that rarely went to an associate at her level. Today was jam-packed. Preliminary prep work to square away a small project she’d just been assigned, a think tank meeting with the senior staff and Anne at ten, and then the Dillinger meeting at two. She was going to need every free minute between now and then to be a hundred and ten percent ready. There was just no way.
Sorry, swamped today.
Too bad. Oh, well, if you need to kill any time, I’ll be over in the library studying away. Good luck today!
Meg racked her brain for a good response but nothing came to her. She scrolled the emoji keypad instead, her eyes drawn to hearts, smiles, and kissy-faces. What the eff? She shook her head at herself for even considering any of them, but let herself slide just as quickly. Yeah, she still thought of Sasha sometimes. Maybe even fantasized they were still together on occasion. That was normal. It wasn’t so very long ago she’d been head over heels for this girl. Like, stop the presses, call your mother, rent a skywriter in love. It was completely rational to have some residual feelings, and the other night at Lucy’s proved they still had some connection. What did any of it mean? She had no idea. It was entirely likely they were simply friends and what they were doing here, now, was nice and adult and responsible.
Yep, it sure was. She zeroed in on the thumbs-up emoji and stared at its curled fist and bland emotion. It was…utterly platonic. In spite of her gut reaction, she selected and sent it before she could come up with a plausible reason to go with her earlier choices. She watched it bounce onto the thread full of the promise of bright yellow friendship and felt her heart sink at the implication.
*****
Sasha put her feet up on the small circular table two feet in front of her cozy chair in her favorite corner of the library, rolling a few strands of her long hair between her fingers as she scrutinized for split ends.
“Studying hard?”
Meg’s voice came out in a sarcastic whisper and Sasha bit her bottom lip but it did nothing to suppress the smile quickly spreading across her face. “What are you doing here?” She shook her head a little. “I mean, I’m so glad,” she said holding her palms up in confusion. “But how?”
“The magic of an alumni ID. My meeting ended early. It’s too late to go back to the office. A little too early to go home.” Meg’s smirk looked a touch guilt-ridden. “Thought I’d bug you for a few minutes. I took a shot that I’d find you in here.” She looked around the expansive stacks. “It was easier than I thought.”
“You know me. I’m going to find a nook and settle in.”
Meg fanned her hand over Sasha’s personal effects—her bag, shoes, laptop, and various study materials spread over the small corner. “You do have a way of making yourself right at home.”
Sasha twisted her mouth to the side. “I spend a lot of time here.”
“What are you studying?”
“Just reading for history of urban education. I have class in a little while.”
“I can get out of your way. Just wanted to say hi.”
“No. Stay.” She heard the mild pleading in her own voice but ignored it, leaning forward to move her stuff from the spare seat. “Sit. Hang out with me. Tell me about the Dillinger meeting.”
Meg dropped into the cushioned chair and stretched her arms above her head. “It was good.” She let out a long breath. “Short but intense.”
“Things are good at Sullivan?”
Meg smiled. “They are. Doug Patterson left. Like, retired.” She raised her eyebrows. “There’s some interesting things taking shape.”
Sasha leaned forward and touched Meg’s leg. “Oh my God, you’re going to get promoted.”
“I mean, not to partner, obviously. But there’s some movement happening, a senior associate spot that will open up.” She clenched her teeth and crossed her fingers. “I’m hoping.”
“It’s yours.” Sasha gave a little rub where her hand was still resting on Meg’s thigh. She knew it was gratuitous, but figured it could pass as positive reinforcement. Honestly, she couldn’t care less if it didn’t. She wanted to touch Meg. “You are the best consultant there. Everyone knows it.”
“Thanks, Sash.” Meg shifted uncomfortably in her chair. Sasha knew even though she was dead on, Meg would never admit it. And she remembered how much Meg hated being the focus of this kind of conversation, so she moved on.
“How was your social, the one you and Lexi were in charge of?”
“It was great.” Sasha felt a tiny flip in her stomach as she listened to Meg’s voice fill with excitement. “We didn’t really make too many changes or anything, but Sam, Lexi’s friend, the one you met at Roaring Twenties—” Meg stopped talking and squinted her eyes clearly checking if Sasha remembered who she was talking about.
“I remember,” she said.
“She’s in graphics, so she redid the website and linked the announcement to a bunch of social media platforms. We ended up getting a huge showing from some local colleges and even some new people from Jersey and Connecticut.”
The enthusiasm Meg had for Bay West made her smile. It was loyal and sweet and honorable, just like Meg.
“You should have come.”
That caught her off guard. “Really?” She gripped her pen tighter, feeling sweat pool in the center of her hand. “That would be okay?”
“Sure, why not?”
A million reasons filled her head, none of which she wanted to rehash in this perfect moment where they were together, connecting so nicely. It was the exact thing she needed—time alone with Meg so she could show her just how much she’d missed her, how much she wanted another chance. “Maybe next time,” she said, hoping the opportunity would come sooner rather than later. They talked for a while longer until she either had to blow off class or get her butt there in a hurry.
“I should go,” she said with half a frown.
“Yeah, of course,” Meg said. “What time is your class?”
“Four thirty.”
“Wow, are you going to make it?”
She nodded. Her professor was always a few minutes late anyway.
“Why didn’t you tell me to shut up? Here I am going on and on about work and Bay West and my friends and you’re about to be late for school.”
“Stop it. I love talking to you.” Sasha smiled. She wished she could stay and play with Meg all night. She didn’t want to wait until the next Bay West social to see her. She didn’t want to leave it to chance at all. “What are you doing Saturday?”
Meg looked stunned at the question, but not necessarily in a good way, so Sasha clarified immediately. “The West Side Mission is doing a big adoption event. We could use a few extra hands. Why don’t you come?” She stood to pack up her stuff. “You can use your adorable charm to sway people into fostering. Plus, as a new pet parent, you have tons of Spencer stories, I’m sure. What do you say?” she asked, lifting her eyebrows as she adjusted the strap of her bag on her shoulder.
“Adorable charm, huh?”
Sasha shrugged playfully. She knew it was over the top, but she wanted Meg to know she wasn’t looking entirely for friendship. “I speak the truth.” She backed away. “Seven a.m. Saturday morning. I’ll text you the address.”
“Seven?” Meg groaned loudly. “You do realize how early I’m going to have to get up.”
Sasha laughed. Gah, she wished she had the nerve to invite Meg to stay with her Friday night. But they weren’t there. In fact, they weren’t even close. If she wanted Meg, she was going to need opportunities to convince her they were meant to be. This was the first in a series of small steps, but at least it was a start. “It’s for homeless animals, Meg,” she answered, laying it on thick as she added a syrupy smile. “I’ll see you there.” She lifted her eyebrows, hoping to God she would show.