Chapter Nine
Sam looked at her watch, completely frustrated at the time. By ten a.m., the day had gone completely off the rails. Her morning team meeting had been billed as a routine prep session for the afternoon presentation, but Blynn showed up with last-minute changes. The modifications really did amp up the pitch, but the timing had thrown off the rest of the day. The actual sit down with the company was pushed back to two p.m., completely wrecking her chances of lunch with Lucy. It was ridiculous, but she’d kind of been counting on it today, even parking her Tahoe in the coffee house lot in the morning before hopping the bus to Manhattan.
Because her presence at Lucy’s was almost a given these days, she’d texted Lucy at one, when she was certain there was no shot of making anything work. Lucy responded right away and she’d seemed to understand, but Sam thought she sounded bummed. It was hard to tell with texts.
Now, hours later, Sam was still cranky her afternoon had been hijacked, even if it was for work. She couldn’t even get a rain check tomorrow because there were already follow-up meetings on the schedule. Gazing out the window while the bus cruised the span of the Verrazano Bridge, she caught sight of the rocky cliff that marked the perimeter of Bay West in the distance. Forget waiting two days. She had a better idea.
She looked around the coffee shop as she entered. It was quiet. Six o’clock was an odd hour for coffee, she supposed. Lucy came out from the back with a warm smile spread across her face and crossed her arms as she ogled Sam walking toward her. She let out a low whistle.
“Hello, handsome,” she said. “You look…” Her voice trailed off as she took stock of Sam’s business look, clearly searching for the right word. “Sharp,” she finished. It wasn’t exactly what Sam was hoping for, but it was still nice. “Come closer, let me see that tie.”
Sam leaned on the counter as Lucy ran her hands the length of the subtle multicolored tie, letting it rest on the surface between them. Lucy fingered the edges. “It’s pretty.”
“Thank you. I got it at the Metropolitan Museum of Art a few years ago. I think it’s supposed to be based on a painting.”
“It’s really lovely.” Lucy continued to inspect it, never letting go of the fabric.
“I’m sorry I missed lunch today.”
Lucy shrugged. “It’s okay. Work happens.”
“I’d like to make it up to you.” She saw confusion in Lucy’s expression. “Tonight.” Lucy looked like she might protest, so Sam spoke quickly. “It’s not dinner. Don’t worry.”
“I’m not.”
“I saw that look of panic flash in your eyes. I’m not talking about a date.” Sam licked her lips. She was surprisingly anxious as she spoke and she hoped Lucy didn’t notice. “There’s a full moon tonight. A supermoon, actually. I’m going to go check it out by the ridge over at Bay West. There’s a beautiful view there. I may even bring my camera.”
Lucy seemed to be considering, so Sam pressed on. “The sight of the full moon beyond the bridge is amazing. Definitely worth seeing, I promise. And it is practically in your backyard. What do you say, keep me company?”
“How’s the temperature out there?” Lucy asked with a slight grimace.
Sam scrunched up her face and mock-shivered. “Wear layers. I’m going to go home and change. I’ll grab some blankets.” She lifted her eyebrows optimistically.
“How do you feel about hot chocolate?”
“Fantastic.”
“Okay, then. Let’s do it.”
*****
Two hours later, Sam stood at the clearing of the trees near the path that led to the overlook behind Bay West’s rentals. She bounced on her toes trying to keep her blood flowing to stave off the bitter cold. Fifty feet away she spotted the door to one of the units open and watched Lucy stroll casually across the street. She carried a thermos in her right hand and her wave was full of spirit. It gave Sam the chills in a way she didn’t expect. She had to clear her throat just to find her voice.
“You are not dressed nearly as warm as you should be,” she said, examining Lucy’s fleece pullover.
“You said layers. I have three shirts on under this. I’ll be fine.”
“You sure?” She pinched the sleeve of the thin pullover. “You should go grab a jacket.”
“I’m good. Come on, show me this moon you’re so excited about.”
“Follow me.”
Sam led them through the trees along the ridge, walking along in silence against the biting wind. She turned off to the right just before the clearing ended and headed toward a rocky path that led down the side of the cliff.
“Wait, where are we going?” Lucy hesitated, grabbing at the end of Sam’s thick sweater.
“Down to the bottom.”
“Why? I mean, is it safe?”
Sam smiled and she knew it showed her confidence. She reached for Lucy’s hand with her own. “It’s fine. Hold on to me. I’ll help you down.”
Lucy listened and clutched her hand tightly for the short distance. At the foot of the ridge, a base of rocky boulders layered the foundation. Sam stepped across the series of rocks until she found her spot—a large flat stone big enough for both of them. “This is my favorite one.” She reached into her backpack and spread a blanket down.
Her sense of routine and purpose was not lost on Lucy. “You come here often?” Lucy rolled her eyes at her own statement. “You know what I mean.”
Sam pulled another blanket out of her backpack and sat down, wrapping it around her shoulders. “Lexi and I used to hang out here all the time in high school.” She patted the space next to her and scooted over a little so Lucy could sit. “This is where we had all the big talks. Solved the world’s problems.”
“Were you two ever a thing?” Lucy settled in next to Sam, taking the end of the blanket and winding it around her back and over her knees.
Sam held in her laugh. “A thing?”
“You know, did you date? Make out here under the stars, go to third base or whatever?” She nudged Sam’s shoulder playfully with her own.
“Look at you getting all frisky, wanting to know the details.”
“You brought it up.”
“I did not.”
Lucy shifted her eyebrows. “You’re avoiding the question. I’ll take that as a yes.”
Sam couldn’t hold her laughter. “No. The answer to your probing question is no. Lexi is practically my sister. Besides that, I don’t even know what third base is.”
It was Lucy who laughed this time. She shook her head at Sam. “Why are people always so confused about the bases?” She reached up and pointed to her lips. “First.” Moving her hands between her breasts, she continued. “Second.” She waved in the general direction of her crotch. “This whole area, third.”
“You seem quite the authority.”
“I just know my bases.”
“I will be sure to file that away,” Sam responded quickly, unable to suppress a grin as she looked at the light of the moon cascading across the channel of water separating Manhattan and Staten Island.
They were quiet for a few minutes, the only sounds the wind and the low tide lapping the small beachhead beneath them. Lucy tilted her head back and acknowledged the full moon. “It’s pretty here.”
“I told you.”
“The moon is unbelievable,” she said nearly under her breath. “I never asked, how was work today? What did your customer think of the new artwork? And your boss?”
“Yeah, my boss, well she’s not really my boss, just the project manager, she loved it. The client was pleased too. They wanted some changes here and there, nothing major.” She looked up at the sky. “It was a good day. Long, but productive.”
“You look great in a suit,” Lucy said, still studying the stars above them. “Do you always dress like that for work?”
“Only for the big meetings, like today. Sorry I missed lunch—everything got all backed up.” She stretched her legs out in front of her, feeling the cold from the rock come through the thin blanket.
Lucy looked right at her, openly studying her face before she spoke. “You looked…really good.” She paused briefly before adding, “Sexy.”
Sam was both flattered by Lucy’s compliment and surprised by her candor. She broke eye contact, glancing at the stars above them, and over at the Verrazano bridge in the near distance, feeling the simple beauty of their surroundings having an immediate impact on her own inhibitions as well. She kept her focus on the elements. “I want to kiss you pretty badly right now.”
“Sam.” She heard the hesitation in Lucy’s voice and held her hand up to keep her from saying anything more.
“It’s okay, Luce.” She looked at Lucy and gave a small shrug. “I just wanted you to know.”
“Sam,” Lucy started again. “You don’t want to get involved with me. Not like that.”
“Why?” Sam asked. She saw Lucy’s nerves in the lines on her forehead and the heavy sigh she released. She leaned over and brushed Lucy’s arm with her fingers hoping her touch came off as reassuring instead of pushy. “This is because of the girl who made you leave the police department?”
Lucy hung her head for a moment before leaning it all the way back as she stared up at the endless night sky. Despite Lucy’s protests, Sam was overwhelmed with the desire to touch her, and somewhere deep down she knew Lucy wouldn’t stop her. But she played it safe anyway, rubbing her hand smoothly along Lucy’s back as she spoke.
“Tell me.”
“What if you don’t like me once you know the whole story?” Lucy smiled, but it was obviously forced. She was clearly trying for playful, but Sam heard genuine concern in her tone.
She looked right into Lucy’s eyes. “Come on.” Sam rocked her head back and forth as she smiled. “Not possible. You know that.” She leaned back against the large rock behind them as if to settle in, as she prepared for Lucy to tell her saga. With a nod of her chin she said, “Pour me a little of that hot chocolate and talk to me.”
Lucy reached for the thermos and filled the lid that doubled as a cup. “It’s not even that dramatic, this story,” she started. “And I don’t blame Caroline for making me leave. Or Dani. I left the police department because of poor choices I made.”
“Who are these women?” Sam asked.
“Caroline was my girlfriend. We were together for three years.” She shook her head. “Ridiculous, actually. We should have broken up ages before we did.”
“Why?”
Lucy let out a heavy breath. “Caroline was…let’s see. How can I say this without sounding like a jerk?”
“Out with it,” Sam encouraged. “No filtering. No judgments.” She took a sip of the hot chocolate. “Promise.”
Lucy reached for the cocoa letting her hand linger against Sam’s for a long second. “Caroline cared a whole lot about what people thought. Of her, of me. Of us together.” She chewed at her bottom lip clearly taking time to choose her words. “She really enjoyed telling people that I was a detective. It was the strangest thing. It was like she loved it and was mortified by it at the same time.” She registered the confusion in Sam’s expression so she clarified on the spot. “She liked to show me off to her fancy friends and at her hoity-toity work events. She would always introduce me as Detective Weston and make a big deal about whatever case I was working at the time.” She shook her head. “It was stupid. And it made me feel like…garbage, really. I hated that she felt like she needed to give an excuse for me. As though it was okay for me to be a police officer because I was a detective. God forbid I had been just a regular dumb cop.”
“Was she really doing that? She wasn’t just proud of you?”
Lucy’s look answered the question, and Sam held up her hands in mock surrender. “Fair enough. What did she do, this Caroline person? For work?”
“She’s in sales. Medical equipment.” She wound the loose end of her shoelace around her pinky. “She was going to go to medical school, but well, that’s another story,” she said dismissively. “She’s just very smart. Caroline.”
“I’m sure.”
“The truth is, for all the showboating she did around her friends and her family, anytime I tried to actually talk to her about work”—Lucy frowned—“she didn’t want to hear it. Any of it.” She looked off in the distance. “And sometimes it would have been nice to talk about some of the crazy things I saw.”
“I bet.”
“I started staying later and later at work. Hanging out with the guys in my squad. Having a few drinks here and there. I became very close with the patrol lieutenant on the midnight shift. She was having problems in her marriage. At first we just talked. It was nice. Easy.”
“The lieutenant is the other woman you were referring to? Dani, right?”
“Yes.” Lucy nodded. “I still can’t believe it all happened.”
“It’s okay, Luce. Stuff happens.”
“It was a terrible thing I did. Wrong. Hurtful. Whatever problems Caroline and I had, I should have taken the time to work them out.” She wrapped her arms around her knees and pulled them in tighter. “Or I should have left.”
“Can I ask you a question?” She waited for Lucy to look at her. “Did she try to work on any of the problems you were having together?”
“No, but—”
“Then come on, Lucy. You know this isn’t all you.”
“I’m the one who brought us down.”
“But you just finished saying you should have broken up anyway.”
“Not like that.”
Sam leaned her arms forward, her elbows resting over the top of her knees. “My experience, Luce”—she added a shrug as she looked out on the water—“is sometimes messed up things happen because it’s the only way to move on.”
“Sam.” Lucy turned her body sideways and put her hand on Sam’s forearm. “I need you to know something. I am not that person anymore.” She licked her lips. “I know it sounds ridiculous—”
“It doesn’t.”
“Let me finish.” She waited a second. “I’m ashamed of what I did. Whatever the reasons were. None of them make it okay. I know that. Trust me when I tell you I will never do anything like that again.”
“It’s okay.”
“It’s not.”
“Hey.” Sam’s voice was stern but sincere. “I’m going to talk for a second.” She quickly gathered her thoughts, trying to figure out a way to make Lucy smile again. “I’m going to say two things right now. I want you to listen.”
Lucy looked as serious as Sam had ever seen her. God, she was beautiful. Even now, with the weight of the past hanging heavy in her smoky gray eyes, shivering against the cold breeze, the glare of the moon showing the stress on her face.
“Number one. It’s time to forgive yourself. Yes, you fucked up. You know it. You clearly own it.” She punctuated her words with a nod. “Two. You are freezing.” She spread her legs wide and patted the space in front of her. “Come here.” Lucy looked skeptical but Sam didn’t give her a chance to overthink it. She reached for her arm and guided her between her legs. She slipped her arms around Lucy’s waist and felt her relax against her body. “Look at me.”
“That’s three.” Lucy turned her head and arched her brow. “You said two things.”
“I changed my mind.”
Lucy turned to face her and a strand of her hair blew in the wind. Sam tucked it away behind her ear. She leaned forward and placed a small kiss on Lucy’s lips. “You are beautiful.” She gave her another small peck, on the cheek this time. “And smart.” She tipped her head up and kissed her jaw. “Incredibly sexy.” She moved along to her ear. “Funny. Sassy,” she whispered, continuing to kiss her face. “My heart melts every single day at two thirty when I see you reserve a table in the window for that old lady and her aide, just so the teenagers don’t take her spot.”
Lucy smiled at the mention of her daily routine.
“I hate when we miss a day,” Sam continued. “And God, I love when you flirt with me.” Lucy was blushing. “Your story doesn’t scare me away.” She kissed her on the lips again. “People make mistakes. Even the really good ones.” She smiled. “I’m going to kiss you now. For real. I hope you’re ready.”
She didn’t give Lucy a chance to answer either in protest or agreement. Their faces were already close. Just an inch forward and Sam’s lips were on Lucy’s again. She led strongly but softly, opening her mouth and letting their tongues touch gently. The kiss was nice, sweet and tender at first, and when Sam moved deeper in Lucy’s mouth, she heard a little moan. She pulled away slowly, brushing her lips across Lucy’s.
“Hi,” she said, smiling against Lucy’s mouth.
“Mmm. Hi.”
She felt Lucy’s fingertips lightly along her cheek, her thumb tracing her bottom lip. She kissed the pad of Lucy’s finger. “Was that okay?”
“Very.”
Lucy bit her lower lip and faced forward, settling her body against Sam’s and lacing their fingers together. Sam hugged her tighter in response, dropping a kiss on her neck. Lucy arched, giving her more exposure, and Sam took advantage, her mouth trailing along Lucy’s skin. She could feel Lucy’s body purring, and in a second, she turned and their mouths met again. It started slow, but this kiss was hungrier than the first and Sam let her hand travel up the front of Lucy’s torso, brushing the outline of her breast over her fleece.
Lucy moaned again, and while she didn’t restrict Sam’s touch, she slowed the kiss. She held the sides of Sam’s face, pressed their foreheads together. “Sam,” she said. Her voice sounded pained, and Sam hoped to God it wasn’t from regret.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
Lucy huffed out a small snicker. “Nothing.” She shook her head against Sam’s. “Absolutely nothing.” She glanced up at the sky and the supermoon above them. “This night is perfect.”
“I hear a but in there.”
“No, not really.” Lucy licked her lips. “I just need to not go too fast. Could we do that? Go slow, I mean.”
Sam saw real concern on Lucy’s face, as though she was worried the suggestion might put her off. “Of course.” She leaned forward and kissed her sweetly. “As a matter of fact, I should probably get you home. We both have work tomorrow. And I know you’re still cold.”
They packed up their few belongings and climbed back up the cliff using the same path as before and when they reached Lucy’s front door, Sam was still holding Lucy’s hand. She leaned down to give Lucy an innocent kiss good night, but her lips lingered too long and it turned passionate right on Lucy’s front stoop.
Lucy was breathless when she broke them apart to speak. “I want to invite you in.” She put her hands on each side of Sam’s face. “But I honestly don’t trust myself if I do.”
Sam throbbed at the obscure suggestion, but she found her manners. “Let’s just call it a night right here.” She kissed Lucy delicately on the lips.
“Are you coming to the coffee shop tomorrow morning?”
“I have meetings in the city all day tomorrow.” She swayed Lucy in her arms a little as she twisted her lips in regret.
“No lunch, even?”
“I’m sorry.”
Lucy pushed off of her chest playfully. “So you think you can kiss me like that and then make me wait two days to see you again?” She raised her eyebrows. “Uh-uh.” She reached up and rushed her hands through the thick waves atop Sam’s head, grabbing roughly and pulling Sam’s face to hers. “No way,” she said, stealing another kiss. “What time will you be back on the island?”
“I have a late client. Probably sevenish.”
“Perfect. Come to the store. I’ll be closing up—we can grab food at Angelo’s next door and bring it back here.” She nodded in the direction of her front door. “Would that work for you?”
“Yes.” She couldn’t resist the urge to tease Lucy. “Dinner, though”—she widened her eyes—“that’s like the food equivalent of second base.”
Lucy reached in her bag for her keys. “It’s third, actually,” she corrected, her voice completely nonchalant.
“Third!” Sam shook off a laugh as she stepped off the stoop. “What’s first?”
“Oh, Sam.” Lucy shook her head and her lively smile was impossible to ignore. “First is coffee.”
Well played, Sam thought. But she said nothing, choosing instead to let Lucy win the spirited face-off. “Good night, Luce,” she called as she backed down the walkway to the street.
“See you tomorrow, Sam.”