Chapter 22
Lily
I feel a whole lot of trepidation when I let myself into Grace's house on Saturday night. She's been making an effort to be nice to me but I still feel a massive gulf between us. She's so different from Faith. She's guarded and closed-off while Faith is a carefree, riotous good time. Anyway, I'm only here for two nights and before I know it, I'll be back on the farm on Monday.
"Hello?" I call out as I lock the door and shove my keys into my pocket, a cloth shopping bag hanging off of my arm.
"Hey! In here!" she calls out over the loud alternative rock blasting through the house. Sebastian scampers down the hall at full speed on his hands and knees. I honestly didn't know that babies could crawl that fast.
"Hi there, honey," I coo as I lean over and scoop him up. "How ya been? I missed you." I plant a kiss in his wild hair and he gurgles a string of unintelligible sounds. I laugh, giving him a good squeeze.
I step into the kitchen and a medley of herbs and spices fills my lungs. "Whoa, that smells good," I groan. "What on earth are you cooking?" I peek over Grace's shoulder.
She turns to me and grins. "Slow cooker lentil stew with polenta," she announces. "I figured you could use a break from all the red meat you must be eating on that farm. The lentils are still packed with protein for the little one." She rubs a hand across my belly.
“Aww. That's very thoughtful of you." I feel tears building in my eyes. These hormones are turning me into an automatic sprinkler system, I swear.
Grace gives me a knowing look. “Ah, the pregnancy waterworks, I see.”
I laugh, setting the bag of fresh produce on the counter and I wipe my tears with my wrist. “It’s crazy,” I say, sniffling. “Out of control. Anyway, Jakob sent you some fruits and veggies.” I tip my head toward the bag. “You’ve got to taste the cherry tomatoes.”
She wastes no time grabbing one, rinsing it off and popping it into her mouth. “Mmm. Wow!”
“I know, right?” I say, holding a tomato under the water before biting into it, too. “I never knew tomatoes could taste so good.”
She still looks euphoric. “Jakob has the magic touch. He's the only farmer I know who can have outdoor tomatoes ready for harvest at this time of year and have them tasting so delicious.”
A wicked smile inches across my mouth. I know all about Jakob's "magic touch". And his heavenly lips. And his miracle-making fingers. And I'm sure that his cock has supernatural powers of its own. Of course, I would never dare to say that out loud. Instead, I just bob my head in agreement.
I still don’t understand what the fuck happened in the barn the other day. One minute I was falling apart, distressed over Trevor’s rejection. The next minute, I was falling apart for a whole different reason. I’ve been attracted to Jakob since the first moment that I saw him. But I never thought that he’d actually put his hands on me.
He has all these rules. He’s so strict about running his business in a professional manner. Plus, he when he found out I’m pregnant I was sure that even the minuscule possibility of him being interested in me had evaporated. But there he was the other day in the barn, strong and virile and domineering, tongue-fucking the daylights out of me.
Was it a pity tongue-fuck or was it an I-like-you tongue-fuck? I don’t know. And that’s neither here nor there because I’m pretty sure he won’t be tongue-fucking me under any circumstances in the future.
Le sigh…
Grace is completely oblivious to my inner dialogue. Thank god. She stirs the pot of polenta vigorously and a smile brightens her features when an upbeat Coldplay song comes on. "Oh my goodness, Sebastian loves this song."
I look down at the baby who's now bouncing on my hip, giving his mother a toothy grin as she shimmies and spins just to make him laugh.
"Sorry," she says, her attention returning to me. "He really loves that song."
I shrug, beaming. "It's a good song," I concede, tapping my foot to the tune.
"So tell me, how are you feeling?” she asks me. “Any morning sickness?"
"Sometimes. Generally, I'm okay. Aside from the constant need to pee."
She laughs. "Oh, I remember that. It's worse at night."
"I know, right?" Some nights I feel like just balling up next to the toilet with my pillow because my bladder needs to be drained every 90 minutes.
"And how's work? Jakob treating you okay?"
The question causes a shiver to run across my skin as the thought of his tongue probing my pussy crosses my mind.
I cannot complain about the way Jakob's been treating me.
"Jakob's been great," I say a little too enthusiastically. "And Mini is fabulous."
Grace doesn't seem to notice my wonky intonation. "That's great," she says as she continues to stir the hell out of that polenta, swinging her hips to the music. “I’m glad that you’re liking your job.”
"How are you? You seem to be in an awesome mood."
She spins with a flourish to face me. "Y'know — I'm in a really good place. I've been listening to the new meditation CD that Isla just put out and I've just decided to stop stressing over this thing between me and Daniel. I don’t like the person I've become because of it. I'm miserable and it's affecting my relationship with Sebastian and with my friends, with you...so I've decided to just go with the flow. I called him earlier and left a voice message and I was like, 'I love you and I hope that there's a future for us but I'm not willing to mess up today because I'm so busy worrying about whether we'll be together tomorrow'."
"And did he call back? What did he say?" I ask. The possibility of my sister and her husband getting back together makes me irrationally happy. I've never even met the guy, but the idea of them repairing their relationship makes me hopeful that I may be able to find my own happily ever after someday.
She giggles. "He hasn't called back. But I'm okay with that. I've extended an olive branch. We'll see what he does with it."
I actually feel proud of her. "Well that's great, hun. Kudos on being the bigger person."
"Hastag, adulting!" She throws a wink at me over her shoulder.
I laugh as I set Sebastian down on the floor. "Okay, I've got to go pee and I'll come back and give you a hand with dinner."
"Sounds good," she calls out to me as I leave the room.
I hurry into the ground floor washroom and empty out my overextended bladder. I splash some water on my face and stare at my reflection. I'm wearing Grace's plain hand-me-down sweats with my belly straining against the pink cotton-blend. My hair hangs in blond coils around my face. Though I've gained some weight (Jakob insists on feeding me about twenty pounds of food each day), I look healthy and glowing. I look so different from the girl who showed up here a few weeks ago. Yes, I was wearing designer clothes with my salon colored hair but I was completely lost and miserable on the inside.
Maybe Reyfield was a good idea after all. I don’t miss the big city one bit. Not even the cosmopolitans and the shopping and the Sunday brunches at those over-priced downtown breakfast bars.
I mean, I just let a bearded farmer go down on me in a barn. Who am I anymore?
I grin at the thought. I've really been on a high since that day. The way Jakob kissed me, the way he licked me, it overwhelmed every one of my senses. It turned my upside down world right-side-up. Maybe I should feel guilty but fuck it, I don't. I may be pregnant but I'm still a woman and I still enjoy the feeling of a man propping me up. I won't apologize for that, dammit.
I'm not delusional. I know that Jakob and I don't have a real shot. Why would he take on the responsibility of raising some other man's child? I certainly don't expect him to. But feeling his hands and his mouth on me still felt like a little bit of heaven in the midst of my hellish existence.
As I'm washing my hands, I hear the faint sound of the doorbell above the drone of Grace's music. I wipe my hands on a towel and hurry to the door. I swing it open and a tall dark-haired man in a suit stands on the stoop. He's strikingly-handsome even under the layers of fatigue all bagged up under his eyes.
“Hi…” I say waiting for him to identify himself.
"Hello?" He gives me a 'who the hell are you?' look. I give it right back.
Hmm...drop-dead gorgeous man shows up at the door wondering who the hell I am? I'm sensing a trend here.
Just then, Sebastian comes speed-crawling toward the door. When he sees the man, he erupts into an excited babble and crawls even faster.
The man crouches down with a face-splitting smile. "Hey buddy," he says with his arms wide open.
"Uh, who are you?" I ask, stepping between him and the baby. Nobody's kidnapping my nephew. Not on my watch.
Sebastian tangles around my legs, whimpering and pouting. The man eyes me sharply from his kneeling position. "I'm his father.”
Wait..."You're Daniel?”
"I'm Daniel.”
Whoa! Nice job, Grace. Way to procreate!
He's way too boardroom-chic for a Saturday evening but still…
I move out of the way and he scoops the kid up in one fluid motion. I watch them nuzzle each other for a moment, their affection for each other warming my heart. When Daniel’s gaze moves back to me, I stick a hand out. "I'm Lily, Grace's sister.”
"Grace's sister?" His brows lift skeptically as he accepts my hand.
"Her half-sister," I specify.
"Ah, right, right. Her dad did have other children.”
I chuckle. "Yup, three...that we know about.”
He smiles. "Well, it's great to meet you, Lily.”
"Would you like to come in?" I ask gesturing over my shoulder.
"Inviting me into my own house?" he laughs, stepping inside. “Thanks."
The blood drains from my face at the sarcasm in his tone. "Sorry," I whisper, feeling silly.
"I'm just teasing," he says clapping me lightly on the shoulder.
"I'll go get Grace..." ...before I put my foot in my mouth again.
I hurry into the kitchen and find Grace at the stove, stirring the pot and shaking her ass.
"Daniel's here," I tell her.
Her eyes go wide. "Daniel's here?”
I nod.
She freaks. Her hands fly to her hair, smoothing down the wild curls before she rips off her apron and tosses it onto the counter.
"How do I look?"
"Like a goddess!" I assure her with a wink.
She sticks the spoon in my hand. "Keep stirring, okay?"
Oh god. My sister has no idea that I can't be trusted in the kitchen. Everything I touch turns to roadkill. Jakob and Mini can attest to that. But I really don't want to disappoint her, so I stir the thick glob of carbohydrates with all I've got.
I've broken into a sweat by the time she pads back into the kitchen...with Daniel's arm around her waist!
"Lily," he says, "again, it was really nice to meet you."
A grin invades my face just seeing the way Grace is beaming in her husband's arms. "It was nice to meet you, too."
Sebastian crawls in behind them, pulling on his father's pant leg for attention. Daniel scoops the boy up and plants kisses on his cheeks. Grace's arms come around them and the three of them stand there, lingering in an embrace. Daniel's eyes drift shut as he savors the feeling of being reunited with his family.
A family. They're a family.
Guilt twists my insides because I can't give that to my son. His father doesn't want us.
Grace leans back and Daniel brushes hair from her eyes. "I can't wait for next Saturday," he whispers.
She gives him a squeeze. "Me, too."
"You know I'm coming back home, right," he says almost in warning. Like he's telling her he has every intention of putting his family back together.
She pats his chest softly, giving him a teary-eyed smile. "Let's take this one step at a time. Okay?”
He leans down and puts his lips on her cheek. She looks like she might swoon. He ruffles the boy's hair as he glances at me. "See you soon, Lily."
"See you, Daniel."
He disappears out the door.
Grace floats over to the stove, taking the spoon from my hand.
"What on earth just happened?" From what Faith told me, Grace and Daniel were done. Their marriage was over. But it looks far from done to me.
My sister smiles widely, holding up a pair of tickets to the theatre. "Do you think you can babysit next Saturday? My husband just asked me on a date."