Chapter 42
Lily
“I’m so thrilled that you’re here,” Siobhan says pulling me under her arm and guiding me through the renovated warehouse that now houses Hectic and a bunch of other small fashion and lifestyle blogs.
The place is a zoo.
This isn’t what it looked like in the brochure. Dozens of people mill around, each looking busier than the next. Siobhan introduces me to a girl about my age standing by a printer that’s erratically spitting out paper. An older woman in a sharp suit sits in an executive chair behind a glass wall that overlooks the whole room. She’s definitely the Miranda Priestly of the whole operation. Siobhan moves me to the far end of the warehouse. There are racks of designer clothing lining the walls and an obscene array of shoes littering the floor. Two college-aged interns move around quickly and efficiently, attempting to make sense of the mess. A short guy with purple bangs and matching vinyl pants drapes a swath of fabric over a model who stands butt-naked in the middle of the chaos like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
“Robbie,” Siobhan calls out, “this is Lily!”
The man waves her off. “Yes, yes, sweetheart. Put her to work!” He ties the scarf around the model’s waif-like body, trying to strategically cover her nipples and her vagina.
Good lord – welcome back to the fashion world, Lily.
Months ago, I would have killed for this opportunity but right now, this feels like the last place I want to be. I silently remind myself of why I’m here. I’m doing this for the baby. I’m doing this for the baby. I’m doing this for the baby.
“Rob is the fashion editor. I’m his boss –-” she lifts her voice “—but by the way he talks to me, you’d never guess it.”
Rob turns to her and gives her an exaggerated wink over his shoulder. Her eyes roll into her head but she grins anyway.
That’s when Rob’s gaze falls on me for the first time. And that’s when I notice that his contact lenses are purple, too. This guy is committed to his color coordination. He scans me from top to bottom and he dramatically drops everything he’s doing.
“Well damn, girlie – you’re about ready to pop!”
Now, I feel self-conscious. “I’m only halfway along. I’ve still got a few weeks to go.”
He doesn’t say anything. He only whistles under his breath before turning back to his naked human mannequin.
“It’s that time of the month,” Siobhan says loudly, tipping her chin in Rob’s direction.
He sticks out his tongue.
“Anyway,” Siobhan says. “You’ll work here.” She motions to one chair at the end of the table. A half-eaten donut sits on a napkin, spilling its jelly all over my new work station. She must notice the apprehension on my face. “We’ve adopted an open-concept work environment,” she says apologetically.
Perfect! Ten square feet of open space all to myself. I try not to look ungrateful. Siobhan is doing me a favor. This is a great opportunity for me and the baby.
But I just can’t help but think about the wide open fields and the clean air on Jakob’s farm. The fresh salads and meats we’d enjoy for lunch. The warmth of his big hands stealing handfuls of my ass throughout the day.
Okay – enough, Lily. You’re not allowed to torture yourself. You’re supposed to be excited about this.
A few months ago, I would have been excited – before I went to Reyfield, before I met that grumpy old farmer and fell into his bed – this would have been a dream come true for me.
“It’s fine,” I breathe out. “It’s great.”
Siobhan taps me on the shoulder. “It’ll take a little time to fall into the flow of things but once you do, you’ll love it. I promise.”
“Honey, come over her and help me hold this girl’s tits in place,” Rob calls out as he unrolls a strip of double-sided tape. He’s still struggling to get that scarf to drape just right over that poor model’s body.
Siobhan hurries over, sticking strips of tape to the model’s skin as Rob fixes the fabric just right.
This is my life right now. Siobhan’s right. I just need some time to fall back into the groove. I’ll be fine. I’ll adjust. Right?
And just as I’m sinking into my seat, I feel something in my belly.
It’s a flutter on the right side. I freeze, my hand flying to my stomach. And right then, the movement stops. I hold still, waiting…waiting…
And there it is again. That persistent little flutter.
He’s kicking. My baby’s kicking.
My eyes shoot up, looking for someone to share the moment with. Everybody in the room is engrossed in robing that poor human statute in that thin swath of clothing.
Nobody sees me. Nobody even remembers that I’m here.
Tears come to my eyes. They’re tears of joy. I think.
And I find myself wishing that Jakob was here, with his big rough hand cupping my stomach, as life grows inside of me. Too bad that isn’t going to happen.