Chapter 31
Lily
The moon shines in through the open curtains. I'm sitting in Jakob's bed, leaning my back against the headboard. His head rests on the pillow in my lap and his legs hang over the side. Another infomercial blares in the background as I run the nail file back and forth along his jagged nails.
My mind is racing as I think about the email that I saw in my inbox today after I deleted the pile of messages from Trevor and his pathetic ass. It was from Siobhan, my boss at Hectic Fashion Blog. She wants me to come back to work for her. Not just to fill my old position as an unpaid intern. She wants to make me an assistant-stylist. That’s a paid position. Apparently she’s dating some sugar daddy billionaire media mogul and he’s injecting a ton of cash into the blog. She’s dead-set on having me on her team. She told me that we need to talk and that she’d fly to wherever I am to make that happen. The money she’s offering me isn’t outrageous but I’d be able to get my own apartment and start buying essentials for the baby. I’d be able to start building a foundation. I’d be able to stand on my own two feet.
As much as I want to make things work with Jakob, he’s still holding back. He’s not ready to jump in with both feet and I totally respect that. But I can’t just wait idly by for him to make up his mind. There’s a baby on his way and I have to be ready.
The one lesson I learned loud and clear from this whole debacle with Trevor is that I need to be independent from now on. I can’t just sit back and let a man take care of me because any day, he could just wake up and decide to pull the rug from under my feet…while I’m holding a baby.
I unscrew the cap of the sweet-smelling cocoa butter sitting on the night table next to me. Using a finger, I scoop out some of the creamy moisturizer and smear it between my palms. I massage small circles into Jakob's damaged hands, applying light pressure. Those big hands are still as rough as ever. I smile to myself. Who am I kidding? I love them just the way they are.
And his hands aren’t the only things I love.
I love the way he rubs my feet after a long day, the way he laughs and refolds the fitted sheets every time I screw those up. He’s kind to me. And gentle. He holds my body close to his like there’s no place he’d rather be. He talks about the baby, about plans for the three of us. I think he wants a future with us.
But then again, I thought the same thing about Trevor. And look where that’s gotten me.
This is all so confusing. For the first time in my life, I feel like I’m finally standing in a place where I belong, where I fit in. But this time, I can’t afford to be wrong. I have a baby depending on me. That’s why I can’t put Siobhan’s offer out of my mind.
Jakob isn't normally a talkative man, but he's been extra quiet since he got back from the fields today. He hardly said a word at dinner and I don't even think he said good night to Mini before stomping up the stairs into his man cave.
"Are you okay?" I ask slathering another layer of balm onto his skin. "I feel like you've been giving me the silent treatment all night."
His stormy brown eyes blink up to me. His jaw ticks but he says nothing. He’s shutting me out.
"Hey, talk to me," I insist, playfully scratching his scruffy chin. "Tell me what's on your mind."
“It’s nothing,” he says, but his jaw is still tight and his muscles tense.
I roll my eyes. “Not buying it, mister. Tell me what’s up. I won’t stop bugging you until you do.” I stick my tongue out at him and he shakes his head, laughing.
"I read the messages from your ex earlier,” he blurts out.
His confession surprises me. And I'm not happy about it at all. "You read my messages? Not cool, Jakob." I’m pissed. Heat rushes into my cheeks. I push him off of my lap.
I have nothing to hide. I’m done with Trevor, no question about it. But still I deserve the respect of not having Jakob reading my messages.
He reaches for me as I try to climb out of the bed, his long fingers sinking into my thigh. "Okay, calm down, Lily," he demands, but fuck him. He invaded my privacy. I feel violated right now.
"Get off of me," I say, trying to kick out of his grasp. But with little effort, he flips over and, a moment later, he's hovering above me, pinning my arms down.
"Listen to me, Lily," he says and there's a little glint of amusement in his eyes as I continue to fight him off. "Listen."
"You had no right..."
His lips skim over my neck and a ripple of pleasure skitters through my body, annoying me even further. I'm trying to be mad at him. The least my body can do is cooperate! But no — he nips at my flesh with his teeth and arousal hums down my spine.
"Lily..." he growls against my skin. "Don't get all worked up, Sunshine." He lifts my left leg and hooks it around his waist. Then, he does the same with my right. Now, his erection is nestled against my pussy.
The traitorous little bitch drools.
And he had to call me 'Sunshine' when I'm already trying so hard to stand my ground.
"You left the computer on. I was nearby. I took a peek." He makes it sound so innocent.
"You shouldn't have."
His kisses stop, his seduction on hold. He looks me dead in the eyes. "I had to know..." he says quietly.
"You had to know what?" I bark, ignoring the liquid pooling between my legs.
He humps my core in soft soft thrusts. Shame flickers in his eyes and he buries his face in my neck, licking and sucking me again. My nipples tighten for him. My skin shivers.
"I had to know if you still want him..."
My heart breaks a little hearing this big, strong man admit his insecurities. But at the same time, I'm mad, angry that he couldn't just be direct with me.
"Why didn't you just ask?" I hiss at him.
His head shoots up and his eyes crash into mine. It's like the idea never even crossed his mind.
I laugh. "You're ridiculous!" My hand latches onto the back of his neck and I pull him down on top of me, molding my lips to his. "No, I don't still want him.” I take a shaky breath, almost afraid to say, “I only want you."
He inhales sharply, too. "Good."
His fingers hook on the strap of my satin nightie and slides it down my arm. His lips trace a soft path across my skin.
"I'm sorry..." he whispers so quietly I almost don't hear it.
Now his lips dance across the swell of my breasts and he squeezes the soft globes, causing pleasure to roar through me.
"I forgive you..." I moan, keening, pressing my chest to his mouth. "Just promise me that you won't do it again.” He's pulling my panties down my legs now. And I'm trembling, so excited to feel his fingers and tongue exploring my pussy.
He doesn't answer me. He just kisses the inside of my thighs. The need for him to eat me grows more urgent.
"Jakob," I moan.
His tongue swipes across my swollen folds. The sensitive flesh comes to life. "Promise me you won't ever go back to him," he counters.
"Uh-uh. You first." Of course, I’d never go back to Trevor but I won't let Jakob win this fight so easily.
But he's stubborn. And possessive. And deep down, I love it. "This body is mine," he growls, licking into my core. "This pussy is mine. Do you understand me? Promise me you won’t go back to him.”
I bite the inside of my cheek and fight against my growing need for release. "You first." My voice is a wispy breath as he swirls his tongue around my clit, injecting two fingers into my heated core. I can’t bring myself to say the words.
"Lily. Promise me," he insists, curving his fingers and working my g-spot. God, he's good at this.
The pressure builds inside of me as he strokes me and teases me with his mouth and his hands. I work my pussy against his face.
He holds my hips steady against his mouth and right before he assaults me with indescribable pleasure, he roars into my flesh one last time. "Promise me, Lily!"
The orgasm cracks me right down the middle and words come pouring out of my mouth.
“I’ll never go back to him. I’m yours! I promise! I promise!”
“Good…” he whispers, “‘Cause Lily, from this moment forward, you’re mine.”