Chapter 26
Jakob
Dawn crawls up the horizon, letting me know that it's time to face the day.
But — dammit — I don't want to. Why get out of bed when I've got Sunshine laying right here next to me?
Lily stirs. It's almost as if she feels the shift in my energy. Her eyes blink open and she squints against the light.
"Mmm. You're still here." She smiles, dimples and freckles and tooth gap and all.
"How'd you sleep? How's the baby?" I roll over and just as I'm about to swing my legs over the side of the bed, she throws her arms around me.
"Stay a little longer...please." She bats those eyes coquettishly and I'm a goner.
Chuckling, I scoot close to her and pull her tight against me. "You're full of mischief you know. And you're rubbing off on me."
She looks up at me, brushing hair out of her eyes. "Good. Everybody needs a little mischief in their life."
The woman makes me weak. I'm a big giant of a man with strong, workhorse muscles and a will of steel but the mere brush of her fingertips against me turns me into a powerless mass of flesh and bones. Why do I like it? Why do I like being under her spell, weak and vulnerable, out of control?
I nuzzle my face into her neck, breathing her in. "You smell like chocolate chip cookie dough," I mumble. "I have to keep reminding myself not to eat you up."
She giggles, burrowing herself deeper against me. "Oh you want to eat me up, you big, bad wolf?" she whispers. "Be my guest.”
With one swift movement, I flip her over onto her back. "Don't tempt me, woman! I've got fifty acres of land and dozens of animals out there, waiting for me to go tend to them. I can't afford to spend the day feasting on you!”
She teases me right back, spreading her legs and pulling my hand to her bare pussy. "I really don't think you should go to work on an empty stomach. Come have a little snack and start the day right.”
I growl, lowering myself between her thighs, but she squeezes her legs shut. "You're not the only one who's hungry, Jakob. I want to taste you, too."
Hearing those words from a woman like Lily would bring any man to his knees. Defenceless against the arousal churning it's way through my body, I rotate and lower my cock over her face. She groans, taking the throbbing shaft between her lips.
"Ah, fuck..."
When was the last time I felt a woman’s mouth on me like this? I can't even remember.
As she seals her lips around me and swirls her tongue along my rod, I bury my head in her valley, savoring the sweet taste of her desire. Holding her thighs apart I roll my tongue over her pudgy, little clit. She hums and groans as she works me with her warm mouth. Her fingers run along the sack of nerves hanging between my thighs. It feels so good that I have to stop eating her for a second just to enjoy the view.
It's a phenomenal view. Her blond hair spilling across my pillow, her wet mouth straining to take me all the way. I resume my feast with renewed fervor, spearing my tongue into her as I cup her ass and lift her body closer to me. But when I trap her clit between my teeth and rake along the sensitive flesh, she goes tense. Her head falls to the side, releasing my cock with a loud pop. She moans, opening her legs wider for me, arching her back as her fingers grasp at my thighs. She comes so fucking hard.
I move beside her, taking her into my arms as the rush subsides. My dick is still solid but I want to hold her, soothe her as she recuperates. As soon as her body stops shivering, she turns to me. "I'm not done with you..." she whispers and she crawls down between my legs.
She pulls my cock between her lips, swirling her tongue around the tip and jerking me off with rough slides of her hands. Losing all control, I explode in her mouth, shooting my come down her throat. She swallows as much as she can, letting the rest slide down her chin. I've never seen a sexier visual. She smiles at me as I wipe off the excess with my fingers. The simple act of wiping my seed off of Lily's face has my cock twitching for action again but I will the sucker to stand down. I don't want to kill the woman. She's pregnant, after all.
Our sweaty bodies stick together as I pull her on top of me. We breathe calmly and in sync.
She draws her fingers back and forth across my chest. “You’re so good at that,” she whispers. “You must have had tons of practice.” She smirks.
I haven’t. In fact, it’s been years since I’ve had a woman’s body pressed up against mine. I guess that I just instinctively knows how to please her.
When I don’t answer, Lily’s face goes solemn. "You ever been in love, Grumps?”
The question seems to come out of nowhere, taking me off-guard. I grumble in response.
She pulls her head off my chest and watches me. I squirm in my own skin and she laughs. "I'll take that as a ‘yes’." Who was the lucky lady? D'you break her heart?”
The thought of Brittany Delaney seeps into my mind, poisoning my good mood. I never did a thing to hurt that girl. But she steamrolled my heart without a second thought.
The air is thick as Lily waits for my response. "Not at all," I mutter dryly. I feel my lips press into a flat line.
Naturally, my response doesn't satisfy her. She's such a nosy, little woman. "So what happened?" she questions innocently, totally unaware of the agony she's awakening deep in my soul.
"She moved away," is all I offer. My answer is misleadingly simple. Brittany didn't just move away. She took my whole world with her when she left.
Lily shifts away from me. "Something tells me there's more to the story."
I look at her and sigh roughly. “What exactly do you want to know, Lily?”
“Everything,” she says rising onto her elbows and looking down on me, “I want to know her name and what she was like. I want to know why you fell in love with her…and why it fell apart.”
The last thing I want to do on this beautiful new morning is to dig up the grave of hurts I buried all those years ago. I put Brittany and her deceptions behind me. I haven’t uttered her name in nearly seven years although I can’t say that I haven’t thought of her. I can’t say that my chest doesn’t ache every time she enters my mind. “I don’t know why you’d want to muck up this nice moment with talk of the devil.”
She’s fully seated now with her breasts on display, her legs crossed campfire-style and her belly spilling over in front of her. I love how comfortable she is in her own skin. Even though she's pregnant she doesn't have a complex about her body. And she's so beautiful with those womanly curves and those life-sustaining breasts. “We all have history, Jakob." She tilts her head to the side and watches me. "I’m trying to get to know you, that’s all.”
I remain tight-lipped, lying flat on my back with my hands cradling the back of my head.
She sighs. “Okay, I’ll start.” She immediately begins to twist her hands in her lap. “So, Trevor was my high school sweetheart.” The inflection in her voice tells me that a heaping dose of irony is sure to follow. “Things were actually great between us for a long time. We had a lot in common and we really supported each other in every way. But then, his career started taking off…Long story short, I started hinting at marriage a few months ago and a while later, I found an engagement ring sitting at the bottom of his sock drawer.”
My chest becomes incredibly tight as I listen to her speak. I just know this story isn’t going to end well. I can see it on her face.
Tears begin gathering in her eyes. “I could barely contain my excitement. I thought to myself, ‘This is it! We’re getting married.’ I guess I got too comfortable. Careless. Irresponsible. A few weeks later, I was pregnant and the ring was gone.”
She purses her lips and closes her eyes to fight back the tears.
“He wanted me to get an abortion. I refused. We fought about it for days. When I couldn’t take it anymore, I jumped in my car and drove out here to Reyfield…That day when I was crying and ran out into the barn? That was the day I got an email from him. He told me that the ring was never meant for me. It was a ring that he was holding on to for a friend who was planning to propose to his girlfriend.” Her shoulders shake as the hinges come loose and the tears come gushing out. “He never wanted to marry me…”
“Lily…” I sit up and pull her close to me, holding her head to my chest. I whisper her name again and again, comforting her as best I can.
She doesn’t allow herself to stew in self-pity for too long. She pulls away and looks at me, still wearing a hint of a smile despite her tears. “Okay,” she says, sniffling and pushing her tears away with her fingertips, “so whatever heartache your ex caused you, I’m sure it isn’t that bad now that you know what I’ve been through. Not that it’s a competition, of course.” She laughs.
My insides beg to differ.
The words spill out of my mouth. “She gave the baby up for adoption when she wasn’t even sure if it was mine or someone else’s.”
I feel like I just ripped my own lungs out. Why is it so hard to breathe right now? I loved that girl but she was fucking any guy who’d give her the time of day. That baby could have been mine. But she didn’t care. She gave it up so she could move to Hollywood to be an actress. Her dream was to see her name in lights and she wasn’t going to let a baby get in the way of that.
Now, I’ll never know if the child was mine. I’ll never know if he’s happy and loved. If he’s bouncing around from foster home to foster home. That kind of thing fucks with a man’s head. It keeps him from finding peace.
Lily cringes visibly her eyes wide, her mouth hanging open in shock as she watches me. “Jakob…oh my god…”
My heart feels so heavy, almost like it’s about to drop out the bottom of my ribcage. And now, Lily is crying all over again, except this time, her tears are for me.
“Shhh…” I say, “That was a long time ago.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispers, “I’m sorry for forcing you to talk about it. I had no idea it was that bad. I had no idea a woman could be so cruel.”
Oh, Brittany was cruel. So much more than cruel. She was cold-hearted and vicious and selfish beyond words.
Now that I’ve started emptying my soul, I can’t stop. I speak words to Lily that I’ve never uttered to another human being. “I was only 18 but I told her that I would love her whether that child was mine or not…That wasn’t good enough for her. Me and the farm and this tiny little suburb weren’t enough for her. She wanted Hollywood.”
Lily squeezes her arms around me as if she’ll never let go. She buries her face in my chest. “That is so horrible,” she whispers.
We were young but we could have made it work. I would have been a good father, I was willing, I was ready to make the necessary sacrifices for my child. I was willing to be a husband to Brittany, if that’s what she wanted.
But it wasn’t.
Instead, she gave the baby away.
“I’m so sorry,” Lily whispers again.
I brush her hair with my fingers. “Please don’t apologize, Lily. You’re nothing like her.”