Chapter 34
Lily
Mini and I are sitting on the porch. I watch in contented silence as she transforms a roll of yarn into yet another beautiful blanket for the baby.
"I wish I could do that..." I sigh.
Mini smiles without looking up. "I'd be glad to teach you, dear."
My eyebrows furrow. "God, I feel like you've already taught me so much. About cooking and doing the laundry and how to take care of a household. I feel like the only thing I know about being a woman is how to put together a cute outfit."
“Don’t underestimate the importance of a cute outfit,” she laughs. “Style and grace are qualities you either have or you don't. All the rest are easy to learn."
What she's saying does make me feel a bit better but I still feel like I missed out. I wish I had had a normal upbringing and I'd learned the skills I'd need to ‘adult’ successfully. But my mother failed epically at life and instead of trying again, she gave up, she resigned herself to a subpar existence. I don't want to follow in her footsteps. In thirty years when my kid is telling his kids about me, I want him to say that I was strong and tenacious and that I fought so that he could have a better life than I did.
I've done so much fucking up already. I just want to give him a reason to be proud.
A red convertible Audi pulls onto the dirt lane and comes bounding toward the house. I lean forward in my seat, peering out at the vehicle.
Is that Siobhan? Ohmygod, it's Siobhan!
The car comes to a stop right near the porch and my boss — ex-boss — steps out looking like she's got a front row seat in the hottest show at New York Fashion Week.
Is she wearing a bra top? Yup, she's wearing a bra top with a pencil skirt, four-inch pumps and a Balenciaga purse. On a farm.
"Who's Ms. Fancy?" Mini mumbles under her breath as Siobhan pulls off her sunglasses and sticks them in her jet black, waist-length hair. Shading her eyes with her hands, she squints up at the porch.
"Well well well. Lily Monroe in work boots and ill-fitted flannel. I think I just got shat on by a flying pig."
I laugh as I rise to my feet and descend the stairs, meeting her halfway up the path. "What the hell are you doing here?" I ask, pulling her in for a hug.
She squeezes me back, swaying me from side to side. She must have really missed me because she usually goes for those aloof, too-cool Parisian-style air kisses. "I told you I'd come to you," she says looping her arm through mine and continuing her procession up to the front porch, "Did you think I was joking?"
I didn't actually expect her to show up here. Reyfield isn't one of the fashion capitals of the world.
"You look fabulous," I tell her and she smirks knowingly. After working with her for as long as I did, throwing compliments her way comes naturally to me. Kiss-Ass is the only language she responds to and the only currency she accepts. "How did you even find this place?" I laugh.
She rolls her eyes. "I almost had to strangle my GPS because he did not want to tell me how to get here." Her eyes fall to my belly. "Wait — you're showing!" She rubs a hand over my belly, her face beaming with excitement.
I grin at her. "I'm showing!" I call out to Mini as we climb the stairs. "Mini, this is Siobhan. I worked for her online magazine in Philadelphia." I turn to Siobhan. "This is my homegirl, Mini." I flash Mini a wink and she chuckles under her breath but she seems much more guarded than usual and I don't know why.
"It's lovely to meet you," Siobhan says in a gracious tone as she and Mini shake hands.
Mini just nods and smiles with her eagle eyes peeled to the newcomer's every movement.
"This really is a lovely place," Siobhan says as her eyes flutter around the open pastures and cultivated fields. "Relaxing. Earthy."
"It is," I agree, "Fifty acres."
Siobhan whistles under her breath. "Is it all cultivated?"
"Not all of it," I respond. "Let me find you some sneakers and we'll go for a walk. You've got to see the river. And the cabin in the meadow.”
I disappear into the house and quickly return with my cross-trainers. I find Siobhan totally absorbed in taking selfies while Mini rolls her eyes discreetly int the background. I try not to laugh. Siobhan kicks off her pumps and slides into my sneakers. We excuse ourselves and Mini watches us as we move along the trail leading to the fields. The conversation immediately turns to business.
And I'm not surprised. I know that she didn't drive all the way out here to talk about crop-rotation and organic fertilization techniques.
"So, I need you to come back with me," she announces.
"Siobhan —"
"Okay, before you start listing off all the reasons why you don't want to, hear me out. The blog is moving into print. We're going to have a physical magazine."
“Oh my god! That's so exciting!"
Siobhan catches me up on all that's happened at the blog since my departure. Apparently, Hectic has merged with a media company that is moving some of its most profitable assets into print. It's an opportunity that's unheard of in a world where every other competitor is sticking to digital to cut back on costs. But the media group has deep pockets (not to mention that the owner of the media group is smitten with Siobhan) and doesn't mind experimenting with something that goes against the grain. Especially since their market research shows that it's the way to go.
"Lily — I need you," she stresses. "You're my right-hand man. I can't do this without you. Please. Please come back with me. I'm freaking out.” I’m surprised to hear her say that after all the time that I spent in my thankless, unpaid intern position.
I feel a bit dizzy. I need to get out of the sun so I grab Siobhan by the arm and step into the shade offered by the barn.
I lean against the planked wall. "Hun, I'm really happy for you, but I can’t just up and leave. I need some time to think about it." I touch a hand to my belly.
"I'll make it worth your while financially." Her offer is so tempting. This decision should be easy.
But my mind goes to Jakob. This thing that's growing between us is more meaningful than any relationship I've ever had. We have a connection unlike anything I've ever experienced. I don't want to give that up. Even if I don’t quite know where it’s going. "It's not just about the money," I say quietly.
She scoffs. "You think you can make a life out here for this baby? What will you be able to offer it? There's nothing here for you." She spits up histrionically and goes absolutely crazy when a mosquito sticks to her bold red lipstick.
Just then, Jakob rounds the corner in his cowboy hat and an olive green shirt unbuttoned down the front. Siobhan stops her freakout session for long enough to devour him with her big brown eyes.
"Well, hello there."
Jakob inspects her with a narrowed gaze and a suspicious expression.
"Siobhan — this is Jakob, he owns the farm. Jakob, Siobhan was my boss in Philadelphia."
She reaches for his hand but he holds up his dirt-stained palms to her. "Wouldn't want to mess up your nice manicure," he says bitterly before he dips into the barn, slamming the door behind him.
God, he's so sulky sometimes.
His brush-off doesn't seem to sting Siobhan, though. She fans herself. "Well...guess who's watching cowboy porn tonight? This girl!" She lifts a hand at the confession.
I chortle, grabbing her by the arm. We continue our stroll down to the water. "Focus, Siobhan."
"Right. As I was saying, you can't build a life for your kid out here. But if you take this job with me, I'll make sure you have everything you need. Medical. Dental. A good school district. All those things that mothers care about for whatever reason. Please, hun.” She pulls a bound document out of her purse and hands it to me. I read the cover page. Hectic Fashion Magazine and Blog : Employee Benefits Package.
Oh my gosh, she’s not shitting me about this. I flip through the pages, scanning the literature quickly.
I sigh. "I'll think about it, okay?"
She claps her hands together. "I knew you'd say ‘yes’."
"I didn't say ‘yes’," I laugh, "I said I'll think about it."
She shrugs a shoulder then aims a camera out at the river. "A girl can only hope." She angles her body toward the water and holds her camera in front of her for a selfie. "Damn, I’m getting some good shots out here!"