Chapter 20
Lily
I've been completely disconnected from life outside of these fifty acres. Before coming here, I'd become convinced that social media, music streaming and video chatting were among my basic needs. Hell, I'd even forgotten the essentials of navigating life without the assistance of my girl, Siri.
But unplugging has been good for me. I've found balance and tranquility. It still shocks me that I'm able to find any peace at all given my circumstances but in the morning when I open my curtains just to watch the sun rise over the river, I feel a deep sense of contentment. Getting hundreds of 'likes' on an Instagram post has never made me feel like this.
Still, when Jakob showed up last night, hauling in a bulky off-white desktop computer that looks like it was stolen from the set of Glengarry Glenross, I couldn't help but get excited. He had laughed, saying now that I have internet access, I'll stop bothering him on the farm as a form of entertainment.
As if.
It took him the better part of the evening to figure out how to hook the thing up. Now after, clearing away the lunch dishes and helping Mini get ready for her nap, I can't wait to check my email while Jakob is in town making deliveries and running errands.
I log in and buried beneath the 'buy one, get one' online shoe store coupons and the beauty blogger video tutorial notifications, I notice an email from Trevor dated a week ago. It's like getting a bucket of cold water dashed into my face.
I'd fallen so easily in step with my new life here in Reyfield that I all but forgot about my useless baby-daddy. I hardly even think about him anymore.
My hand shakes over the mouse as I click the message open.
From: [email protected]
Subject: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU???
You're being a real fucking brat, Lily. Do the right thing. Terminate this pregnancy. You're running out of time.
My blood boils in my veins and I see red through my tears. "No fucking way I'm terminating this pregnancy, dipshit..." I grumble, running a hand protectively over my belly.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU???
my mind is made up trevor. im having this baby.
I hit 'send' with so much force I'm surprised the old mouse doesn’t crack.
Before I can click away from the page, a new message pops up.
You're so selfish! And immature! You got pregnant to trap me, didn't you?
I shake my head. I can't believe this guy. I pound at the keys as I type.
are u really that ridiculous and self important, trevor? I can't figure out where i stand with u. one minute ur buying me an engagement ring. the next minute u accuse me of trying to trap u. I thought u wanted to marry me so why the hell would i get pregnant to "trap u"?
The next message from him confuses the heck out of me.
What engagement ring?
Is he playing dumb right now? I really don't have time for the games.
the engagement ring that was in ur sock drawer
There's a long silence as I wait for him to reply.
That ring was never for you, Lily.
I can't believe he's lying right now. Of course the ring was for me…Right?
Another message from him comes through.
My friend Dave from work asked me to hold onto it. He wanted to propose to his girl but he said she was a snooper. Too bad I didn't realize my girl was a snooper too. Now I'm SURE that there's no future for us.
Shock. That's the emotion I feel.
The ring was never meant for me. Trevor never had any intention of proposing to me.
I am such a fool, such a fool, such a fool. I saw that ring and made a fatal assumption. Marrying me was never in Trevor's plans.
My heart splits open and all the feelings I had been holding off come gushing out. I heave loudly as big, fat tears and snot pour down my face.
just for the record, we are OVER, trevor. i dont ever want to hear from u again. have a great life, deadbeat
Clutching my belly, I stumble out the back door. The last thing I need is to have to explain to Mini why I'm bawling my eyes out.
I run down the lane and trip my way into the barn before anyone manages to see me.