Present
“Cassandra, I can’t believe a girl who looks like you and writes such beautiful love stories hasn’t found the one yet,” my editor, Margo, exclaims over the phone. She called to let me know my latest manuscript is my best story to date.
I’m glad she can’t see my face because I frown at her words.
Every time someone makes a comment like the one Margo just made to me, fuck you nearly slips from my mouth.
“I’ve met lots of men,” I tell her smugly. “In fact, I’ve been dating Richard on a regular basis on and off for the last five years. We have a sort-of commitment.” I grin as I think about Richard. He’s romantic and charming, and damn he can kiss. He’s also an asshole and selfish—can’t have it all, I suppose.
“Richard, huh?” I hear Margo’s voice echo. “And, tell me, when are the two of you finally going to actually commit?”
Rolling my eyes, I flop back on my bed. “It’s…It’s nice, but I don’t know. He seems to care about me, and I love the way he kisses. He’s been there for so long, and he’s comfortable—we’re comfortable. We trust each other.”
Margo sighs. “See? This is what I mean, you…well, you write beautiful romance, but you can’t seem to make it work for you in the real world.” I can hear her rolling her eyes. “If I didn’t read your love stories for a living, I wouldn’t believe there was a romantic bone in your body,” she adds.
“Now you’re just being mean,” I retort, a little peeved at the eternal judgment I receive from my so-called friends. “I’ll have the final draft to you by next week. Goodbye Margo, and happy Sunday.” I hang up the phone without even waiting to hear her farewell.
Standing abruptly, I stomp over to my closet and pull the door open.
Speaking of Richard, I was supposed to call him when I got up this morning, I just wasn’t sure what I would say. After my conversation with Laney last night, I’m trying to keep my mind focused, open…open to the possibility of what I once saw in him, the possibility of us, which seemed to be on track until last night. I even thought about inviting him to Paxton’s welcome home party at the Lukes’, but it just doesn’t feel right, especially now, in the midst of another one of our what’s happening between us periods.
Plus, the memory of last night makes me want to drink, and it has nothing to do with turning a year older and everything to do with Paxton himself. It was the strangest encounter we’ve ever had, awkward and…something else. It’s like he never left and the push and pull between us never stopped.
As I pull on my jeans and new soft blue cashmere sweater, I start humming the tune to Taylor Swift’s “I Knew You Were Trouble.”
“You know you need to stop listening to her music,” Laney says from the doorway of my bedroom, startling me in the process.
“Oh shit! Dammit, Laney!” Throwing my hand over my heart, I glare at my best friend. “You need to knock before entering someone’s apartment,” I rebuke, still trying to pull my sweater over my head.
She walks farther into the room, making herself comfortable on my bed, seemingly ignoring my comment.
“Cass, you’re my best friend. I have a key to your apartment, and you have one to mine. We’ve barely spent more than a week or two apart since we were seven years old. You are not just someone, so knocking seems silly in this circumstance,” she says matter-of-factly, trying to rationalize her action.
Turning to face her, I rest my hand on my hip, cocking it to one side.
“Seriously, you and your brother need to learn some boundaries. I can’t comprehend where the two of you get your bossy and intruding ways because neither of your parents are that way at all,” I say, continuing to admonish her.
Delaney sits on her knees, tilting her head to one side as she looks at me.
“Cassandra, what has gotten into you? Even more important, why are you bringing Pax into it?” she questions, sounding confused and intrigued at the same time. “Are you two seriously still annoying one another?” She sits back on her haunches. “Man, this is going to be an awkward party.”
Rolling my eyes, I swivel away from her. Searching through my closet for an overnight bag, I try to think of the right way to answer her. I need to say the right thing or she will make more out of this than there is.
“I guess I’m dreading seeing my mother after our conversation last night before the party. She brought up my age and my love life. As for Paxton, he has nothing to do with it really; I’m only stating the facts of our friendship over the years and how both of you have an obsessive need to boss me around,” I explain, tossing a pair of polka dot pajamas into my bag.
“Ignore your mom, like I do mine, and as for Paxton, well, he just got back. He hasn’t intruded in our lives for years. We’re older, and he doesn’t have a leg to stand on when it comes to bossing us around.” A light giggle escapes her. “Ignore him too, like I do and like we’ve always done. It shouldn’t be too hard since the party is for him and will be filled with his friends. He won’t even care that we’re there.”
She’s right. Ignore Paxton. After throwing in the last item I need for an overnight stay, I run and jump on my best friend, giggling along with her. What would life be like without her? I would never want to find out.
She reaches over and slaps me on the ass.
“Let’s get on the road, and you’re driving this time,” she tells me, hopping off the bed in the process. “Also, don’t forget the Tim Tams! I need sugar and hangover food.”
Shaking my head, I get up off the bed, picking my bag up as I leave my room. I’m not sure what this weekend will be like, but I’m a smart, twenty-six-year-old successful author. I’m fine. My life is fine, and my romantic life is fine, even if it is a bit more on the in care side than the in love side.
As I pull into my parents’ driveway, I notice neither of them is home. I glance over at Laney’s house next door and realize Mrs. Luke’s car is also gone.
“Seriously! Where in the heck are my parents?” I say out loud as I pull the keys from the ignition. Delaney is out of the car and opening the back door before I’m even out of my seat. “I’m going to throw a pretend temper tantrum over the fact that I can’t open my birthday present until they get home.” I grin over the top of the car at Laney and she rolls her eyes as usual.
“Who knows? It’s the life of retirees, they get to do what they want. I don’t think anyone is supposed to come over to my parents’ house until six,” she offers as she pulls her bag from the back. “You know how they are, Cass. Most likely, they’re out buying last-minute groceries and presents for you, and probably for Pax too because they think they need to make up for the last ten years he’s been gone.”
Grabbing my bag from the back seat, I slam the door shut.
Now I’m the one rolling my eyes. “You’re right, they’re ridiculous when it comes to things like that. I’m exhausted, but I know we promised we’d help your mom with appetizers. Also, I promised Richard I would call this morning…I didn’t call him, and he left a message some time when we were in the cell service vortex of Highway 1 between Half Moon Bay and Pescadero.”
“Oh, Richard,” she says in an accusing tone. “Let’s get started on appetizers and then we might have time for a nap before the party.”
“Sounds amazing, but what’s with the tone?” I question as we walk around the hedges and through her parents’ front yard.
Without looking at me, Laney responds, “What tone?” There’s humor her voice now.
“The ‘Oh, Richard’ tone,” I insist.
“Ah, that? Well, I may have been a bit tipsy last night, but I still recall our conversation,” she reminds me.
“Let it go, Laney.” I groan, thinking of the annoying conversation she pulled me into just as she pushes the front door open.
“Let what go?” says a familiar male voice just beyond Laney. Great. What are the odds? I guess pretty good since this is his parents’ home. It’s going to be really inconvenient having him back in California.
“Hey big brother! Cass wants me to let go of the fact that she’s suddenly questioning her messed-up, so-called relationship with Richard for the millionth time,” Laney reveals to Paxton.
“Richard? Is that the guy from last night?” he asks casually. I keep walking toward the stairs behind Laney, trying to remove myself from Paxton’s company. “What, no hello, Cassandra?” There’s sarcasm in his voice as he says my full name instead of the nickname everyone has called me my entire life.
“Hello, Paxton, and yes, Richard was the guy I was with at the party last night. He’s the guy I’ve been dating for pretty much the last five years, and he isn’t news,” I say as my foot hits the first step. I don’t know why I make it a point to say how long Richard and I have been doing whatever it is we’re doing, but I do. I guess old habits die hard; I can’t seem to help myself when it comes to trying to get some sort of reaction out of Paxton.
“Huh, well poor Dick,” he says as if he feels sorry for him.
I stop on the step and partially turn toward Paxton. “It’s Richard, and what does that mean?” I ask him in my usual talking-to-Paxton tone. It’s a you’re so irritating and why I do care what you think tone I save especially for speaking to him and used practically our entire teen lives. I hate how he can make me revert to my immature ways so easily. I wait for him to answer.
“Just thinking about all the hearts you’ve broken over the years, and it sounds like he’ll be joining the others in the broken hearts club,” he jabs, looking like he’s holding back laughter.
“Excuse me?” I growl, nearly jumping over the railing and strangling him to death. I feel Laney’s hand suddenly take hold of my arm. Why is he such an ass?
“Pax, don’t be a asshole. Forget I said anything, I was only teasing Cass. She and Richard are great. I mean, they have five years of…of whatever they call it between them, and it’s their business. I just like harassing her,” Laney says in my defense, pulling me up the stairs with her before I can say anything more.
“Chill out, I was only joking. Five years huh? I guess Cass stopped falling in and out of love like she changed clothes when we were growing up,” Paxton says in a light tone, though his voice sounds a little strained.
“You can kiss my ass, Paxton Luke. It is good to see nothing has changed with you,” I announce just as we disappear up the stairway.
Saying those words sends an aching feeling through me, and my heart feels like it might race out of my chest. My god, I wish one thing had changed—his effect on me.