Present
How’d I let my mom talk me into this? I don’t really want the attention that comes along with a welcome home party. Hell, most of these people I haven’t seen in years, and I don’t really care to now. I would’ve liked a family get-together, but instead, I’m here with people I barely know anymore. The only person I kept in touch with on a regular basis aside from my family is Matt. I’d love it if I could just slide back into my life like I was never gone. I did it with my parents, with Laney. I tried with Cass, and maybe that’s my clue that it’s not possible.
She almost seems even more annoyed by me than when I left, which shouldn’t be the case because our last night with each other was awkward to say the least.
Now, I’m standing in a room filled with a mix of my old friends and my parents’ friends. At this moment, I’m listening to my best friend Matt regale a small group with the story of the time we decided to drive up to Waddell’s at four in the morning to catch some waves. We were only sixteen at the time and didn’t have our parents’ permission. The two of us were always adventurous and caused a little innocent trouble for our parents. Of course, as things go when you’re kids and doing things without permission, something always goes wrong—I broke my wrist in two places. Matt still has a way with stories and has everyone laughing at the image of me calling my parents from urgent care. Needless to say, they weren’t happy. I laugh as my mom glares at me and my dad slaps me on the back.
Matt begins yet another story, and this time it’s about Laney and Cass. As he begins entertaining the crowd with his animated reenactment, I eye the two stars of his story huddled in a corner with a bottle of champagne. Laney whispers in Cass’s ear and she throws her head back in unbridled laughter.
What is it about her? From the moment her eyes met mine last night, I felt like the boy I was instead of the man I’ve become. I can’t seem to help my reaction to her, but something is different. It’s not the same now as it was before I left. There’s a reason why seeing her, talking to her now isn’t the same though—it’s because I no longer feel as in control. There’s something more to Cass than I remember, and I’m not sure I like the way it’s making me feel.
Lost in my thoughts, I’m not even aware she’s stopped laughing and is looking right at me until I look into her gaze.
Those eyes of hers remind me of all the times I didn’t do anything but watch her. She’d pull me in without even realizing it. I’d fight the feelings she stirred in me any time I got caught up in her, and I would always make sure she knew it was nothing more than me teasing her. I would taunt her to prove to myself that I could, but the moment I felt too much, I’d push her away. Even if I wasn’t fair to her, I always acted like she meant nothing. I’m not sure why I did it, but she was always a challenge. I always tested the waters between us, and I know that’s the reason she hates me—because I made her feel like she meant nothing. It was a lie, but I had a dream and it didn’t involve a relationship.
Apparently, she still has that effect on me, and the battle lines have been drawn once again.
Laney says something to her, drawing her attention back to my sister just about the time Matt asks me a question. When I turn back to the group, he repeats himself. “Why’d you stay away so long?” It’s my least favorite question.
At the same moment, Laney and Cass walk up and join the small group.
I rub my hand over my head and down the back of my neck then squeeze, trying to ease the tension the question causes. “Well, my career. I was a workaholic, moving up the ladder. It just took up so much of my time, not to mention that my parents made it easy for me to stay away since they’d come visit often.”
“So what made you come home?” Cass blurts out, surprising me. By the look on her face, she didn’t mean to ask that out loud.
The corner of my mouth tilts up because as usual, she showed more interest than she intended. Nope, sorry, there’s no taking it back now, Cassandra.
Pretending we’re the only two people in the room, I look directly at her. “It was time. There’s a lot I missed here…a lot of people I missed.” She glares. I laugh. Everyone just watches us.
Laney punches me. “You’re such a dumbass—you don’t care about anyone or anything more than your job.” Her statement stings, and I’m shocked by just how much. “If they hadn’t offered you an opportunity you couldn’t resist, you wouldn't be here now,” she divulges to everyone.
“I guess things don’t change.” Matt laughs. “Same Paxton, everyone falling over themselves to have him, but the only thing he can see is his success.” Now everyone laughs—everyone but me. When I look over at Cass, she isn’t laughing either.
She excuses herself and walks down the hallway leading to the back door. I consider following her. It’s instinctual, something I would’ve done in the past to make sure she was all right, but tonight, I think better of it. She doesn’t want me, and she really isn’t even my friend, she’s Laney’s, but damn if I don’t feel responsible for the hurt I saw in her eyes when she walked away.
In the hour after Cass walks away, people begin saying their goodbyes and their many well wishes for my new job in the city. I decide to see if I can offer my mom any help cleaning up. When I walk into the kitchen, Cass is standing at the sink doing dishes while Laney dries them. Her hands are in the soapy water, and they’re chatting in their usual easy manner.
Matt waltzes in behind me, picks up a dish towel, twists it up, and lets it fly, snapping it against Cass’s arm. She swings around, screeching in the process. Laney joins her by glaring at Matt, too, while anticipating another assault by pointing a wooden spoon in his direction as defense.
“What the hell, Matt?” There is a fire in her eyes, and I can’t decide if I want to punch Matt or laugh. Matt beams from ear to ear. He loves this stuff.
“Got ya, Cass the Sass!” He’s laughing so hard. I haven’t heard that nickname in years. It’s like we’re all teenagers again, back when Matt and I would give the girls a hard time. “Don’t you even fucking think about it!” While I was lost in my short moment of nostalgia, Laney pulled out the sprayer from the sink and aimed it directly at Matt.
Laney quirks her brow and without another moment’s hesitation, she squeezes the lever, spraying water all over the front of Matt’s shirt. He charges her, and she keeps spraying. She’s screaming, and he’s yelling back. Cass is caught in the crossfire and jumps on Matt’s back.
I can’t control my laughter. I’m laughing so hard, I can barely breathe. Luckily, I am also smart enough to stay as far away as possible.
Suddenly, a loud booming voice sounds from behind me in a tone I haven’t heard in years. “What in the hell is going on?” It’s my dad, and although he’s clearly annoyed, I can see his struggle to remain that way.
Soon Mom walks in behind him and says with a half-hysterical laugh, “What is wrong with you three? You’re too old to be acting like a bunch of heathens!” The room goes silent.
That’s all it takes. Laney, Cass, and Matt stop, look at one another, and then burst out laughing.
Mom and Dad look at the three idiots then my mom says, “You better clean this up, now. Cass, your mom and dad already went home and said they’d leave the door unlocked for you. We’re going to bed. We’re too old for late nights these days.” You can hear a smile in her voice even as she and Dad shake their heads. Before they leave the room, Mom walks over to me and kisses my cheek, whispering, “Didn’t you miss this?”
Once the laughter subsides, they all begin cleaning up the mess. It’s like I’m not even here. I have the strangest feeling this isn’t the first time this has happened, and it gives me an incredibly conflicted feeling.
I knew their lives went on without me, I just didn’t expect to feel it. The three of them are obviously familiar with one another. They have their lives here, and they don’t include me. Laney has her work, Matt has his business, and Cass has… I look at her more closely. She’s smiling at something Matt says, and she’s glowing. It seems Cass has moved on with her life the most. She has her writing career and that Richard guy.
Being home doesn’t feel exactly like I hoped it would.