Chapter 18
Leo
“Stella, can I get another beer?” At least, that’s what I thought I said. Judging by Stella’s look, it might have come out a bit more slurred that I’d planned. But she must have still been able to understand it because a moment later she plopped another pint of beer in front of me before shaking her head.
“Are you going to drink your whole paycheck today, stud? Because you’re doing a pretty good job of it so far.”
“Just keep ‘em coming, sweet thing.”
“Your flattery is no good here, Leo. You know that.”
“I do. And I can’t tell you how disappointed that fact makes me.”
Stella snorted, still shaking her head as she slapped her towel at the bar top. “Uh huh. I bet you’re real heartbroken about it.” She was still chuckling to herself as she walked to the other end of the bar, taking orders and making drinks.
It was a shame. Her company had kept the thoughts at bay for a minute. I glared down at the beer in front of me. That was supposed to be the alcohol's job but damned if it didn't seem to be working. In fact, the more I drank, the harder it was to ignore Quinn's words. What are we? What is this?
And then my own answer. Fun. I snorted into my beer. Fun didn’t even begin to describe what they were. But then what the hell did? What was the right answer? Because I sure as hell didn’t have it.
I could still see Quinn’s face, the way her smile had faded like a flower withering away. I wanted to see that happiness again. I hated the fact that I had chased that smile away. I knew I was squarely to blame. But damned if I knew what to do about it.
I took another deep pull of the cold beer but it did nothing to still the restlessness inside me. Not the type of restlessness that normally tugged at me, demanding that I move on to the next place, pushing me away from a place.
This time it was different. Instead of running away from something, it was pulling me towards something. Like a magnet was planted deep in my chest, drawing me back to it again and again. Drawing me towards Quinn.
That revelation was still dawning on me when I heard boot steps clomping towards me a second before I felt a hard clap on my back. I glanced to the side as Jonah took a seat next to me and nearly threw my hands up in the air. Today just wasn’t my day.
Ever since that day in the tower, he’d been looking at me with a new light of suspicion in his eyes and it made my skin itch. But all I could do was force a grin to my lips and toss it in his direction.
"Hey, Jonah. Got off of work early today?"
“We finished up ahead of schedule. Boss let everyone take the rest of the day off.” Jonah gave me a long, considering look, “Looks like you started early yourself.”
I tilted my pint glass in his direction, slopping some of the amber liquid on the bar top as I shot him a hard grin, “I’m trying to drown my sorrows.”
“Well, when it comes to you, there’s only one type of sorrow. A woman?” Jonah raised his hand in a wave to Stella, waiting for his beer and his answer but damned if I knew what to say.
“Of course it’s a woman.” I finally spluttered, and Jonah let out a chuckle.
“It’s always the same with you, Leo. You’ll never learn.”
"Learn what? Please, enlighten me oh wise one," Sarcasm filled my voice as I egged Jonah on but he just grinned ruefully as he took his drink, setting it in front of him on the bar as he thought for a moment.
“You go through women like wine, but the problem is, you can’t survive on wine alone,” He finally said, “You need water to survive.”
I looked at him for one minute ticked into two, “What the hell are you talking about?”
“Look, just forget I even said anything, alright?”
“Are you blushing, Jonah?” I teased, slapping him on the shoulder, “Makes me think my women troubles are nothing compared to yours.”
Jonah rolled his eyes, identical to Quinn’s, “I’m not going there. Don’t even bring it up.”
I threw my hands in the air. I knew he had some sort of complicated relationship but he never talked about it, and I was more than happy with that arrangement. I had always been content to let Jonah keep his business secret, and I would keep my business my own as well. But something was different now, just under the surface. I had known him long enough to know when something was eating at him.
“Well, I won’t bring it up,” I finally said, “But you know I’m here if you need anything.”
“Thanks, man. I appreciate. It’s not going to fucking happen. But I still appreciate it.”
I shrugged, turning back to my beer and we both drank in silence for a moment but then the memories were back. Like an itch I couldn’t scratch. What Quinn had said, what she’d asked me. What I’d answer. I’m such a fucking asshole.
“You got that right,” Jonah said on a chuckle and I realize I must have spoken that last thought out loud. “But what are you being an asshole about this time?”
For a full minute, I thought about blowing off the question. Not answering. It would be better that way. Safer that way. But then a sudden thought struck me, probably induced by the several beers I'd already sucked down. Jonah was the perfect person to ask about Quinn. If only I could figure out a way to do it that didn't end up with me bleeding out on the floor of Lucky's.
With a deep breath, I turned in the barstool until I faced Jonah, laying it all out. Well, as much as I could without inciting my best friend to murder, of course.
“Listen, I have this…problem. There’s this woman I’ve been sort of seeing.”
"Uh huh. And what? Did she catch you with another girl? Found out you really are an asshole?"
“No, no, uh, nothing like that. It’s just that, I like her. She’s fun and sweet and generous and sexy as hell,” I shook my head, unaware of the small goofy smile that was curling up one corner of my mouth as I spoke, “I like being around her. But she asked, you know, what we were. What the fuck does that even mean?”
“What did you say to her?”
“Well, that it was fun. That we were just having fun.”
Jonah burst out laughing, and it wasn’t a kind sound.
“You know what, fuck you. I don’t need your advice anyway.”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It’s just that no woman wants to hear that she’s ‘just fun’.” Jonah shook his head, “I wouldn’t worry about it though. Another week and you’ll be on to the next one.”
“It’s not like that, man,” I said, struggling to explain it to Jonah. Hell, I couldn’t even explain it to myself, “I don’t…I don’t want to move on to the next one. I want to try and make this right with her. I like being with her, you know? I fucked up, I just don’t know how to fix it.”
Jonah went silent and it wasn't until I glance over at him that I realized he was staring at me wide-eyed.
“Shit. You’re serious.” He said slowly, “You’re actually serious. Leo Delaney, asking me for relationship advice. Hell, Leo Delaney in a relationship. I think hell just froze over.”
“Shut up, man.” I started to turn away but Jonah stopped me.
“No, sorry. It’s just surprising, that’s all.” Jonah’s expression grew thoughtful, “If you’re really serious about her, just be honest, you know? Tell her the truth about how you feel. That you care about her.”
I looked over at him, “That’s it? That’s your big advice?”
“What were you thinking? Chocolates and diamonds and flowers?”
“Well, yeah,” I said on a shrug, “basically.”
“You can’t bribe her, Leo. Believe me, just tell her the truth. Tell her how you feel.”
“What if I don’t know how I feel?”
“Well, figure it out then, Sherlock.” Jonah drank the last of his beer before turning to him with a questioning look in his eyes, “So, who is she?”
“What?”
“Who’s the mystery girl who’s got you wrapped around her little finger?”
I took a long drink, not answering Jonah’s question. Anything I say could tip him off.
“You gonna keep it a secret from me? Your best friend?”
Hell yes. Sorry, Jonah, you're the last person on this earth that I'd tell.
Jonah shook his head, getting to his feet and slapping a bill on the bar, “Alright, fine. Keep your secret. But I’m going to keep digging until I find out who she is.”
“You probably shouldn’t do that,” I finally managed, but it was too late. Jonah was already gone. That was exactly what I did not need, Jonah uncovering the truth about me and Quinn. And now, I’d sent him down that path. Great. Everything was just fucking great.