CHAPTER 23
Rayna
I woke up to the sun shining into the room and looked around in shock for a moment. Oh yes. I was on vacation. I was in fucking France. I stretched and took in what I could see of the blue water before I hurried to the bathroom and wrapped myself in the robe. It was a big suite, but I could smell the coffee, and I wanted it.
I made my way down the hallway and looked outside to see Declan leaning against the railing with a cup in his hand. I made my own cup and looked around in awe for a long moment. It was so pretty in here with the cream walls and sage accent walls. Walking towards the slider, I slipped outside and joined him as he glanced at me. “Morning,” I said as I sipped the coffee. I pulled my hair up before coming out here and hoped that I didn’t look awful.
“Morning. Sleep well?” I asked as she nodded and stared at the virtual postcard in front of us.
“God. I want to wake up to this every day,” she murmured as she shook her head. I wasn’t joking in that I’d buy us something and stay here with her. Rayna would be worth the flights back and forth, just to keep her out of California where that asshole lived. “It's so beautiful.”
We sipped from the cups, moving towards the table as we discussed the day. I said that I’d like to stay local if it was okay, still overwhelmed by the place that we were visiting. “Haven’t you visited Europe before?” Declan asked as I shrugged.
“That was their trip, not mine. Plus, I was stuck on a boat just passing everything by for the most part. It was boring,” I said as he nodded slowly. “They traveled alone a lot. I stayed home with the nanny of the moment and talked with the chef as she cooked dinner, who is really my family. I might miss them the most.” It was meant to be a joke, but I knew that my bitterness was evident in my tone. “Jesus. I’m sorry. Why the hell…why do you want to be with me? I have so much luggage beyond what I brought here with us.”
“We all have something going on, Ray. I don’t mind yours, and I’ll do what I can to help you with it,” I offered as she stared at me. “This probably isn’t ideal for a beginning relationship in the eyes of many people, but it is what it is. It happened for a reason, and I’ll take that.”
“I guess that your situation is something that friends would warn me away from as well.” She shrugged. “They say that newly divorced men are assholes and on the rebound. They say that guys like you need a long time to be ready for anything good.”
“That’s probably true,” He agreed as he shrugged. “I wasn’t looking for anything like this. Once I knew that it was over with Claire, I figured I’d work a lot and hang with the guys. That night changed everything for me.”
“Yeah, it did for me as well. Just the idea of what I was doing changed things. I think I knew that I was done, something that I’d been working towards for a few years. I knew that being intimate with you, or anyone else that walked through that door was my breaking point. I’d never considered cheating before even though I felt like James was for years. I didn’t expect it to feel that good.” I smiled. “Life is so strange sometimes.” I played back everything I said and remembered that I was going to leave him after this.
I stared back at the water quietly as his brow furrowed, waiting for me to tell him what was wrong. He finished first and said that he was going to check in with the office, disappearing inside. I sat there, telling myself that I was just finishing my coffee and not hiding for a little while.
We showered together, making love before we dressed for the day. Declan had a car delivered to the hotel this morning, wanting to relax on the way here. He was going to drive us the rest of the time unless we took the train somewhere. We went for breakfast in the bigger city, and I was horrified at the speed and quantity of little cars that were everywhere. “Be careful!” I said as I stilled in my seat. “I never want to drive again right now.”
Declan chuckled, and I looked at him. “I got this. I know a great little place just around the corner that you’re going to love.” I bit my lip and looked down at my jeans and peasant shirt, finished off with some sandals that I could walk in. My hair was in loose waves around my shoulders, but I had something to pull it back wrapped around my wrist in case I needed it. It was gorgeous here, something I focused on instead of the crazy drivers that surrounded us.
He parked on some curb, and we hopped out of the car, making me laugh as he took my hand and led me to a quaint little restaurant. I didn’t take French in school, so I knew nothing of that the words on the windows and menus meant, but I trusted Declan. He wouldn’t feed me something gross.
I trusted Declan, but I was planning to leave him. What the hell was wrong with me?
We had crepes for breakfast with some of the best coffee that I’d ever tasted. One of them was savory and one sweet with fruit and fresh cream, making me want to die as I ate it. We walked around afterward, holding hands, and looking in the shops and occasional gallery as Declan told me about some of the good places in the area.
I took a lot of pictures on the new phone that had a lot of storage. The filters were amazing on it, but I didn’t need them with the beauty that surrounded me. I didn’t want to take pictures of him, of us. I didn’t want the memories but I did it anyway and so did he, smiling his charming, crooked smile that I loved so much. By the time we got back to the car, I had a few small bags of souvenirs to bring home and tossed them into the nearly nonexistent back seat as we headed to Cannes. We stayed there all afternoon, wandering Le Suquet and taking pictures as well as going to some of their beaches.
Declan took me to dinner that night at Mantel, a lovely and intimate restaurant. There were pictures on the white walls that complemented them with just a hint of color, one of them being Marilyn Monroe. I ordered the lobster ravioli, and Declan asked for the rack of lamb, admitting that it was one of his favorites. We ate and sipped wine as I marveled in everything so far about this trip, from the arrival to tonight. The morning was prominent in my mind, and I faltered in my decision to end it after this. I had almost two weeks left, and I was falling for him more by the moment.
We enjoyed lemon tart for dessert with coffee, and I almost wept because it was so good. I surprised him by catching the bill and paying, to which he protested as I laughed in victory. I wanted to spoil him as well, and I saved a lot of money over the last few years.
We headed back to the hotel after that, bags in hand as he pushed the elevator to go up. Once inside, I ran back to the bedroom to look at my trinkets and gush over them all over again as he sat by me on the bed. “Thank you for dinner,” he told me, his hand on my leg.
“It was just dinner. You did everything else so far,” I indicated the room with my hand as Declan tilted his head forward.
“I have been wealthy my entire life. I have seen women expect me to pay for things and to spoil them just because they smiled at me,” he told me as I stared at him instead of the stuff on the bed. “Even Claire had a job, and she never offered to pay for dinner.” I looked at him questioningly. “She had a separate account with her money in it. I never saw her use it for something that we did together. You are the only woman that ever took the bill like that, sure of it. You left no argument about it. I respected the fuck out of you at that moment.”
“I will do it more as well, you deserve it, Dec. You’re wonderful,” I murmured as tears slid down my cheeks, feeling him take me into his arms.
“I have seen the fear and doubt in your eyes.” His words were soft as he stroked my messy hair. “I saw the questions in those moments when you’re quiet, thinking about something that you won’t reveal.” I froze as he kissed my hair with a firm press of his lips. “I know that you think that you’ll hurt me in some way, Rayna. I know that your husband scares you, but he doesn’t frighten me. Not at all.”
“He’s jealous. He’s always told me that I’ll never belong to anyone else,” I told Declan, remembering the words that had been said to me so many times. Sometimes, it was shouting or screaming in a fit of rage and others it was condescending. No matter how it was said, I would never forget them. “He doesn’t even like me. I am like a trophy to him and all of the people that we know, but he hates me.”
“Control is his thing. Dominance. You said he hurt the other girl and I am certain that he does it to all of them.” Declan calmed me as he spoke softly. “I have a team of lawyers. They can draw up divorce papers without you having to see him in that process. Your terms, though I think you deserve something after that time with…him. They will talk to him or his lawyers, and he won’t bother you. You have no ties, no kids. It is done.”
“He can have all of the money. I don’t want it. I saved my earnings and I can do this on my own.” I pulled away from him. “I wanted to leave you to protect you. I wanted to let you find someone worthy of all of your amazing love.”
“You. Are. Worthy.” His lips covered mine as a sob left me. “I love you. I want to go home with you and keep loving you. Hell, my divorce will be easy and over soon and we’ll weather the storm that could be yours. We’ll make it.”
“We will?” I asked as he growled against my mouth. He pulled me over his lap and held me tenderly as I let the emotions out. He stroked my hair and murmured words of comfort to be, calming me down slowly as I draped myself over him. “How do you know you want me to stay?”
“I have known that since the first moment that I saw you, Ray. I thought it was crazy, but it happens. That’s why I kept pushing to see you so much…to see what it was between us. I wanted to stop when I found out you were married, but it was obvious that you were miserable, unhappy. When I knew that you were scared, I pushed even harder to see if there was anything there.” He stared at me as I narrowed my eyes for a moment.
“Do you like saving people?” I asked hesitantly as he sighed.
“It’s not that, Rayna. You made me feel hope again after I’d just failed at love. I failed my wife so much that she left me for a younger man.” I smirked at him and leaned forward to kiss him softly. “I felt that for a minute, even though I knew that we weren’t the couple of the year. I also knew that I’d survive it just fine and then I saw you…and I knew what real want and desire were again.”
“So did I,” I whispered as he closed his lips over mine for a tender kiss. We moved together smoothly, our lips and tongues tangled together as I rocked against him gently. “I think that I love you. I am scared of that feeling, so scared. I know that I can’t live without you, Declan. I don’t want to live without you.” He pulled back from my lips to stare at me. “I want to talk to your lawyers. I want this divorce.”
“Good,” he said as he kissed me again, stopping all conversation as he pushed me back on the mattress. We moved together, our lips searching for one another as he slipped my dress up and stroked my bare skin. I felt him kiss my jaw slowly, nibbling softly as he dropped between my thighs.
“Declan, I need you.” He kissed me everywhere, slowly worshiping my body as he undressed me and brushed his lips against my skin. “God.”
I was weak with my releases before he slipped out of his clothes and dropped back over me. “I love this look on you…dazed from what I’ve done to you. I love that your tight and ready for me.” He kissed me softly. “I love you.”
With those words, he slid inside of me as I moaned long and low. I knew that there was always something between us, felt that from the beginning. I knew that we were both getting in deeper with each time we were together, but tonight everything around us disappeared. We made love this evening, feeling better than I ever had before. I came just as hard around his cock as I did his tongue and fingers and he roared as he stilled and jerked inside of me.
We were resting in bed together after we were done, looking at the moonlight out of the window. “Did you ever want kids?” Declan asked me, stroking my stomach as my heart beat faster in my chest.
“Not with him, no. In general, I never thought about it too much. Did you?” I asked, scared to tell him my thought from the other day.
“I wanted kids, and she seemed to at first, but that changed. Maybe she met someone else, or perhaps it was because she is a workaholic. I don’t know, but it doesn’t matter any longer.” Declan pressed his hand over my skin, stilling as he took a breath. “Would you consider having them with me?”
I laughed softly. “I was thinking that making love recently. I imagined it in my head, liking it so much that I was terrified. What if we didn’t work out? Still, I longed for the birth control to fail for a fleeting second.”
“Baby, if for some reason, we didn’t work out? I’d always take care of my child. Always.”