Chapter 30
Quinn
“Damn it!” I sucked my thumb into my mouth as a sharp pain rattled up my entire arm, originating from the digit I’d just smashed with the old hammer I’d found amongst the myriad of other tools in the basement of the Mayhew house.
“Damn it. Damn it. Damn it!” I repeated, hoping the swearing would make me feel better but I still felt the sting of tears at the corner of my eyes. And I knew damn well it had nothing to do with the damn hammer that I’d hit my thumb with or the damn bruise I was going to have because of it.
It had been almost a week since I’d seen or spoken to Jonah. A week that I’d been camping out in my makeshift apartment downstairs. A week since my life had seemed to take its last gasping breath before giving up entirely.
“Stop feeling sorry for yourself, Quinn Moore,” I chastised myself sternly, speaking out loud to the empty room as I glared at the nail I’d been trying to hammer in. “I am working hard, and getting closer and closer to making this place a reality.” I glanced around the bedroom, a happy shade of pale teal that made me feel instantly calmer.
“I got this.” I nodded firmly, trying to make myself believe it, “I so totally got this.”
“Talking to yourself now, huh? I’ve heard that a side effect of pregnancy.” Lily said, grinning at me from the open doorway. I groaned as I saw yet another cup of tea held in her hands. She seemed to think that all I needed was to drink enough green tea and everything would be fine.
“Really? I’ve heard it’s a side effect of too much tea-induced insanity.”
“That’s not a real thing.” Lily snorted, still managing to hand me the tiny porcelain teacup despite the hammer clenched in my hand. “You know what is a real thing though?”
"No, but I'm sure you're going to tell me," I said with a roll of my eyes, taking an unconscious sip of the hot liquid more from habit than anything else and nearly spit out the bitter taste.
“Of course I’m going to tell you. Because I’m your best friend. You’re talking to yourself because you feel guilty.”
“Guilty!” I said on a snort of disbelief, “Guilty for what?”
“You feel guilty for the way things happened with Jonah.”
I shot Lily a hard look, “What do I have to feel guilty about, he’s the one who messed up.”
“You feel guilty because he’s your brother,” She shrugged, as if it was the simplest thing in the world, “You guys have always taken on the world together and you feel guilty because now, you’re not.”
“That’s ridiculous.” I was so surprised by her words that I took another sip with meaning to. Hastily, I put the cup down before I could be tricked into drinking the whole damned thing. “If anyone should feel guilty, it’s Jonah. I don’t feel guilty for not talking to him. There is absolutely nothing I want to say.”
“Sure there is, he’s your brother. That’s never going to change.” Lily shrugged again and I fought the urge to roll my eyes.
“Did you just come here to lecture me? Because I’ve still got a lot of work to do and this isn’t helping me get any of it done.” I hated the sharp tone in my voice. I didn’t want to chase Lily off but I was still sore about what had happened with Jonah. Like a bruise that still hurt whenever I poked at it too hard.
But instead of running away, she just sent me a soft, warm smile. “No, I didn’t come here to lecture. I came here to give you something.”
"Uh-oh. Please tell me it's not one of your potions. I don't think I could stomach that right now." I grimaced as I spoke but she just laughed.
“No, it’s not that. You have to come downstairs though so I can give it to you.”
I looked at her suspiciously, but I was grateful to put down the old hammer and slowly followed her down the stairs. I nearly jumped out of my skin when she pulled me into the bright new kitchen and I was met with a chorus of voices.
“Surprise!”
“Surprise, Quinn!”
“We got you, didn’t we?”
That last was from Charlotte, smiling from behind a mask of pale makeup and dark smoky eyes lined with black. I looked around in shock at all the faces. Standing behind Charlotte was Luke and Danny Brewer, their brother next to them holding up a cake that read ‘Congratulations’ in rainbow colored frosting. Even Finn was there, grinning at me and Lily like a fool, though I had a feeling it was directed more at Lily than at me.
“What is all this?” I finally managed to ask and Lily gave me a tight hug before answering.
“You didn’t think we would let you have this child without a baby shower, did you?”
“You did all this? For me?” I had to choke back tears at the kind gesture and Lily gave me another hug, which didn’t help to stem the waterworks.
I looked around at the group of people, friends that had helped me every step of the way.
“Thank you. Thank all of you, this is…this is incredible.” I let out a watery laugh, but my smile faded as I saw one empty chair. There was someone missing from this party. Someone important, and it cut the hole inside me a little bit wider.
“It’s okay, Quinn,” Lily whispered as she led me to a chair, the others already digging into the cake, “Things will work out in the end. They always do. You’ll see.”
I looked up at my friend, seeing the certainty in her blue eyes but I wasn’t so sure. I wasn’t sure at all. But I did know one thing. I had to make this bed and breakfast a success. Not just for me, not just for everyone who had helped me, but for the life growing inside me.
"We'll see." I finally said, echoing Lily's words and she nodded serenely. She started to walk towards the cake and the raucous group, but stopped mid-step, turning back to me with an odd look on her face.
“Everything happens for a reason, Quinn.”
“Oh yeah? And why is this happening, oh wise one.” I snorted, my words sarcastic but softened with a small smile.
Lily shrugged, “Maybe it’s a lesson you need to learn. Or Jonah. Or maybe it’s something Leo has to discover on his own. But whatever it is, you’re stronger than you ever think you were Quinn. Remember that.”
I watched her walk away, her words turning over in my head. It all sounded like nonsense to me, but she was right about one thing at least. I was stronger than I ever realized. I wrapped my hands protectively around the baby inside me, the baby I already loved more than life itself. I had to be. Not for myself, but for my child.