Chapter 31
Leo
I packed the last of my few belongings back into the duffel bag and looked around the small, dingy motel room. I’d stayed in worst places in my lifetime of drifting but I’d sure as hell stayed in better ones too. I wasn’t sad to see the Sunrise Motel in my rearview mirror.
I flinched at the thought. Every time I saw that big sign outside, the logo with the golden sun, its rays spreading out over a lake of blue, it reminded me of her. Her. That’s how I had to think of her now. If I thought of her name it sent a blinding wave of pain through me and all I could think of was turning around and heading back to Coral Springs one more time. Just to try and find her. See her. Talk to her.
You already tried asshole, remember?
I flinched at the painful reminder. It hadn't exactly gone as I'd hoped. Not at all like I had hoped, actually, and ever since that night, I felt like my life was spinning out of control and there was nothing I could do about it.
I’d gone back to the small town with my tail tucked between my legs and after a little bit of begging had got my bartending job back. But nothing felt right anymore. Food tasted like dirt in my mouth and all the beer in the world couldn’t quench my thirst. Believe me, I’d tried to drown my sorrows those first few days after with as much alcohol as I could but nothing could banish the image of Quinn with another man.
The only thing I could think of was to pack up and leave. Put as much distance between us as possible. Maybe then I’d finally find some peace. Maybe then I’d finally be able to outrun the truth.
You love her, you son of a bitch. No amount of miles is going to change that. Might as well resign yourself to that fact.
I tried to ignore the thought but damned if it didn't hit me right in the fucking gut. It had taken me losing her to realize it, but I was in love with Quinn Moore. Maybe I always had been and had just been too blind to see it, but now that I knew it, the knowledge flashed like a neon sign in my head. Unavoidable. Impossible to ignore.
I loved Quinn, and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. The fact was, I'd never meet anyone like her for the rest of my life, but that thought was little comfort in the cold, lonely motel room. That's why I had to leave. I had to get away.
A knock at the door interrupted my train of thought but I ignored it, focusing on packing away the rest of my meager things in the bag at my feet. No interruptions. No distractions. I just needed to get the fuck out of there before I did something stupid.
Like crawl back to Coral Springs on my hands and knees if I have to. I nodded. It wouldn’t be any more painful than the ache in my chest that I couldn’t escape. No matter what I did I couldn’t get Quinn out of my system. She was like a drug, and now that I’ve had a taste, nothing else would do. I would always need her. I’d come to terms with that. But Jonah had been right.
It was time to do the right thing, for once in my sorry life. And if that meant leaving Quinn with someone else, well, as long as she happy then maybe she was better off without me.
I would treat her better. I would love her more. No one else could love her as much as I do.
“I can’t go back. Not after what happened the last time.” I mumbled the words to myself, trying to make me believe them.
There was another knock at the door, more insistent this time and I flung it open with a curse that dried up before I could even get it out as I stared at the last person I ever expected to see on my doorstep.
“Hey, can I come in?”
After a moment, I opened the door the rest of the way and gestured to the dark room.
“Be my guest.” I was surprised I even got the words out, I was so frozen in shock that I could hardly move, but I finally shook myself out of it as my shock melted into anger. “What the fuck are you doing here, Jonah?”