Chapter 27
Sarah
“Emma. Open up!”
I’d called Emma several times throughout the day to no avail. She wouldn’t answer my text messages, she wouldn’t take my calls, and she probably wasn’t listening to the voice messages I was leaving. I wasn’t going to bed tonight until we talked, even if that meant I had to stand here banging all night on her townhome door.
“I know you’re here! Your car’s out front.”
“Go away,” she said.
“Not a chance. You’re my best friend, and you’re hurt and it’s because of me. Now, open up so we can talk.”
Finally, I heard the lock on her door being thrown. The knob turned, and I placed my hand on the door, slowly pushing it open as I saw her walking away from me. I stepped in and shut the door, paying very close attention to my surroundings. The last time Emma and I fought anywhere remotely close to this, she swung a frying pan at me.
At least she knew how to protect herself.
“All the kitchenware put up?” I asked.
“Get in here and talk or leave,” she said.
“Emma, I’m so sorry you had to find out this way,” I said. “I never meant for you to find out like this.”
“I don’t think you ever meant for me to find out, period,” she said.
“Has Mason been trying to call you?”
“Yep.”
“Have you taken his calls?”
“Nope.”
“You should. This was all my idea. He just went along with things,” I said.
“Mason isn’t the type of person to just go along with things.”
“Yeah, well. I’m breaking the mold with him,” I said.
“Oh, how quaint.”
Emma sat down on the couch, and I sat down beside her. She was staring out the window into her backyard, trying to keep her gaze off me. Her arms were folded around her chest, and her eyes were red. She’d been crying because of me, and I felt like shit for it.
“Out of all the things you’ve done, this was shady, Sarah.”
“I know. And I’m sorry. I swear to you, when this first started, I had no fucking clue he was your brother.”
“So, you guys were fucking before the dinner.”
“Yes,” I said.
“When did you find out Mason was my brother?” she asked.
“The week before last. A few days after you told me he blew you off. It literally was something we stumbled into. We were trying to make up, and he kept calling and—”
“Make up? So, this was around the time you told me shit was broken off between you two?”
“Yes,” I said. “I told you things were broken off, he kept calling incessantly, I finally picked up the phone and I agreed to lunch. That’s when we found out, and I walked away again. I swear to you,” I said.
“So, how did you go from walking away to hiding the fact that you were fucking my brother?” she asked.
“He was persistent, I guess. Came to my dressing room, there was this whole thing with my boss, we talked…”
“Did you actually talk?” she asked.
“We did, yes. He proposed an idea to just be fuck buddies, essentially. No strings. Just good food, some attention, some other things.”
“Sex. I’m a big girl, Sarah. Sex. And you agreed,” she said.
“Yes, and then I was the one to lay down the conditions. That we couldn’t tell you because you wouldn’t approve. He actually tried to talk me out of that. Didn’t think I’d be able to do it because of our relationship.”
“Looks like we both learned something new about you,” she said.
“Emma, this was never to hurt you.”
“I guess my brother lays down some decent cock. I’ve never known you to keep anything from me, Sarah. Ever. What the fuck’s wrong with you?’
“Wrong with me? Emma, you didn’t even want me dating.”
“And you agreed with me!” she exclaimed.
“To get you to shut up about it, yes, but I enjoyed Mason right from the get-go. Not telling you was less about him being your brother and more about the fact that you’d be pissed I was seeing someone.”
“Yes, because you choose the shittiest men,” she said.
“Is your brother a shitty man?” I asked.
“He’s making up for it, but in the past, yes.”
“Emma, you didn’t even want me seeing anyone because of how it would backfire. How was I supposed to tell you the guy I was fuck buddies with was your brother?” I asked.
“Well, it did backfire. You see your social media feed? They’re eating you alive,” I said.
“Not since Mason’s press conference. They’ve toned down a bit,” I said.
“Press conference?” she asked.
“Yeah, he gave a whole thing or whatever. That’s not the point. The point is, I fucked up. Not Mason. I was the one who laid down the condition, he double-checked if it was something I wanted to do, and I confirmed. If anything, you should take his calls. He was just going along for the ride,” I said.
“It’s shady of you to lie like this. I-we’ve known each other for years, Sarah. I cried over that fucker for months because he kept blowing me off, and you’re blowing him?”
“Watch it,” I said. “Even best friends have lines.”
“Do best friends fuck their friend’s brothers?” she asked.
“Sometimes, yes,” I said, grinning.
“Seriously? You’re cracking jokes right now?”
“What the hell am I supposed to do? You’re angry beyond belief, and I don’t know what to do about it.”
“Don’t lie anymore, Sarah. That’s what you do about it.”
“Fine! Then what do you want to know?” I asked.
“Why the hell didn’t you tell me the two of you started seeing one another again? You told me shit didn’t work out and then what? Were those phone calls all throughout that dinner him?”
“Yes,” I said.
“So, he just kept fucking pestering you like a petulant toddler?”
“A petulant toddler?” I asked, grinning.
“Sarah, not only did you lie about seeing him, you lied about meeting him. Wednesday was a fucking game for you both. I have every reason to be angry over that. At both of you.”
“Yes. Yes you do,” I said. “But I technically didn’t lie about the whole ‘we stopped seeing each other’ thing. It just never came back up in conversation that we were seeing one another again.”
“Are you actually gonna split hairs on this thing? You’re at fault. You both are. End of story.”
“Well if you didn’t try to control who I dated, then maybe I would’ve told you sooner,” I said.
“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?” she asked.
“It was your fucking idea for me to date Ryan! He was a blind date you set me up on because you thought we would be so perfect together,” I said.
“It’s not my fault he was sucking face with your co-host or whatever,” she said.
“And the blind date before that, what was his name? Eric? Yeah, the guy I dated for, like, three weeks before I saw him out with that fun little busty blonde in the middle of downtown Dallas. Thank fuck I hadn’t gone public with that one yet.”
“All I did was set you up on those dates. They seemed like decent enough men—”
“Every time we talk about my dating life, you make it sound like I’ve picked these guys. And sure, I picked the one in high school, and he was a real fucking piece of shit work. I got it. But you’ve set me up on five blind dates. One of them came out of the closet shortly after, two still lived with their parents, and the other two I dated fucking cheated on me.”
“Well, maybe there isn’t something wrong with my choices. Maybe there’s just something wrong with you!”
I sat there for a long while simply staring at my best friend. I allowed the words to soak into my head as I watched her face drop. It was like I’d been sucked into a vacuum. All I could hear was the whirring of her air conditioning kick on as her lips moved. There were no words. No sounds. Just me, my thoughts, and the words that had flown from her mouth.
Maybe there’s just something wrong with you.
“Sarah, I didn’t mean that,” she said.
I got up from the couch. I felt my face paling with every step I took toward the door. I felt the walls closing in as tears rose to my eyes, and all I wanted to do was get back to the safety of my apartment.
“Sarah, please. Please don’t leave,” she said.
I felt her grab my hand, and I yanked it out with a fury. I whipped around, my watery gaze connecting with hers as tears promptly flowed down her cheeks. I knew she had a right to be angry with me. Angry at both of us. I knew she had a right to dodge our phone calls, so she could have time to process everything. I knew she needed space to breathe and digest everything that was going on around her.
But she sure as hell didn’t have the right to say that.
“I’m sorry. Sarah, don’t go. Sarah please!”
I walked out the door and found my way to my car. I don’t know how I got home, I don’t know how in the world I fucking operated my car, but I didn’t come out of my shocked reverie until I was pushing my apartment door open into the only space in my life I felt was really, truly mine.
Then, I dropped to my knees and sobbed.