CHAPTER 16
Leila
I heard the moan in the background after Lynn told me the she’d narrowed down her decision to two choices. I recognized the voice immediately and covered my mouth with my hand.
Lance sounded like that every time we were together. I asked her if she was at work and Lynn laughed as she confirmed that she was. She told me that she’d call me later and I dropped the phone to the couch as I felt tears in my eyes.
Lance wasn’t a trust fund baby. He worked in the porn industry just like Lynn and I dropped to the couch as I rested my head in my hands. I started to cry as I imagined how many women that he’d been with. How could I even mean anything to him when he had sex on a regular basis like that? I felt stupid as shame washed over me and I leaned back into the cushions of my couch.
I stayed there for hours, letting the shock wash over me as I regained my composure. I still needed to complete a sale with Lynn and refused to let her know about my involvement with Lance. I was going to act professional with her and collect my commission, ending all contact after that. I couldn’t stand the thought of Lance being with the beautiful woman, work or not. I wondered how many times he took it off set with the actresses or any other woman.
I knew that I was just a notch on his proverbial bedpost and I turned to my back. It was the best sex that I’d ever experienced but probably routine for him. I thought about all the things that he said to me and wanted something to be true. I wanted to stand out somehow, but I was just a naive girl in his eyes that had little sexual history. I couldn’t be what he needed.
I forced myself to eat later and sipped some tea to calm my stomach. I went to my room in the clothes that I was wearing all day with my cup and Kindle, trying to distract myself from what happened as I curled up under my covers.
Carlsbad sounded great right now. I left home because of heartbreak and a part of me wanted to go running right back just to feel safe. I regretted getting as involved as I had with Lance and I sighed as I stared at the ceiling.
I was done with men. I was done with dating and especially sex. Done.
I closed my eyes and heard a knock to my door, jumping up in surprise. I knew that few people would be here at all and I licked my lips. I told myself to ignore it since there was a good chance that it could be Lance. He might not know that I heard him earlier at all. I heard the knock again and anger rose in me as I sat up and dropped my feet to the floor. I was going to give him a piece of my mind and I glanced down slowly at my jeans and wrinkled t-shirt. I didn’t care how I looked.
I opened the door slowly after checking the peephole to make sure that it was Lance. He was holding a huge bouquet of flowers and a bag of food with an enticing smile on his face as I stared at him. Lance looked like everything was fine and I opened my mouth to speak.
“What are you doing here?” I asked him in a hoarse voice as he looked at me in surprise. “You lied to me, Lance. You lied about everything.” I could feel my pain rising in my voice as confusion crossed his face.
“What are you talking about?” He looked perplexed as he searched my face for answers and I swallowed the lump in my throat.
“I heard you today.” The words hurt as they came out since I was acknowledging the truth.
“Heard me what?” Lance asked as something crossed his face that looked like fear.
“You are a goddamn porn star. I heard you when I was talking to Lynn. You work with her?” I asked as he glanced around quickly. Lance pushed his way inside as I started to scream for him to leave.
“Shut up,” Lance hissed as he dropped the stuff in his arms to the floor.
“How could you lie to me?” I asked as I struggled against his firm body.
“Because you matter. I didn’t want to lose you over my job, and Leila? It is just a job,” Lance assured me as I widened my eyes at him.
“Just a job?” I pushed him away, but he stayed pressed against me as he stared into my eyes. “You sleep with women at work. I can’t even imagine how many there has been, Lance. Is that even your real name?”
“I changed my last name for the movies. I gave you my real name and I have been otherwise genuine with you, Leila. You’ve meant more to me than any other woman in my life.” His eyes begged me to believe him as I felt tears sliding down my cheeks.
“If that’s true, how could you lie? You’ve been with Lynn…for work? How about in your private life?” I asked as insecurity flooded my veins. He closed his eyes and sighed, making me let out a gasp.
“We work together. I have slept with her a couple times after work, but I don’t feel anything for her. I never have. I’ve never wanted a woman more than a few times before you. I tried to stay away but I need you, Leila.” He pressed his mouth close to mine as I shook my head. I couldn’t kiss him. “I need you.” Lance claimed my mouth in a desperate kiss as I stilled below him, fighting my desire. I hated him for his lies and the other women, but my body still responded to him. I felt him press me to the wall as his tongue danced against my lips, hating the idea of him doing this to other women today. How could he still get to me?
I moaned and slid my hands up the front of his shirt as I parted my lips, feeling his tongue against mine. I was weak, and I admitted it to myself as he reached down to life me against his body.
“I need you,” he murmured before he kissed me again, tasting my mouth as I wrapped my arms around his neck. Lance carried me to my room, leaving the bag and flowers on the floor as he headed to my bed. I didn’t want this to happen, but I couldn’t find the strength to tell him no. Lance dropped me down to the mattress and pressed his body over mine, hard against the seam of my leggings. I couldn’t help but to moan as he rocked against me, making my very core tingle with need.
Our mouths crashed together as I tugged at his shirt, needing it off. Lance moved up and unbuttoned it before tossing it to the floor as a tear slid down my cheek. Other hands and lips touched this beautiful body today and I hated it. He wiped at my cheek and moved to pull my stained shirt off as I cried softly and allowed it. I wore nothing underneath and watched as he leaned down to suck on a nipple, making me cry out.
“I only want you, Leila. I have since we met. The other stuff is work and I’m just fulfilling contracts right now.” Lance told me as he raised his head to stare at me.
I pulled his head back down and moaned at the feeling of teeth against my skin. Lance nibbled at me before he sucked a pert nipple into his mouth, working my jeans off as I felt all my willpower slipping away. I wanted him, and I couldn’t stop this from happening. Lance undressed me and assured me that I meant everything to him as he worshiped my body hungrily.
I almost believed him.
I felt him taste my release, his face buried against my pussy as I cried out his name. Lance moved, and I heard something hit the floor as a wrapper was ripped open. I worried about the other women momentarily, but he felt too good as he slid inside of me and stretched me open.
I groaned his name as I wrapped my legs around him. I was so addicted to this man and I knew that it might be the death of me as he drew back from me with a raspy moan. Lance took me again and I rocked with him, needing him deeper inside of me.
We kept moving together until we were both coming, and I screamed his name into the air. Emotions and sex were a deadly combination and I dropped my head back slowly as I took a deep breath. Lance pressed his lips to mine and kissed me softly as I memorized the feeling of his warmth against me. He eventually pulled away and rolled onto his back as he took a deep breath.
“Are you going to kick me out now?” Lance asked as I felt chills run over my skin.
“How can you do that, Lance? How can I mean anything to you when you sleep with so many women?” I asked softly as he let out a slow breath.
“It started when I was younger. I admit that back then it was hot but after time, it just became a job. I was just a robot doing my job, Leila.” Lance admitted as I looked at him in the light from the living room.
“How do you keep doing it? I mean, if it is so automatic? How do you stay hard?” I hated the thought of the answer, but I needed to know.
“I’m young. I recover quickly, and I don’t come on set, Leila. I always wear a condom and I get tested all the time. I haven’t had sex without a condom in my entire life as much as I want to with you,” Lance admitted as he looked over at me. “I swear that to you, Leila.”
“How am I better than Lynn? She’s beautiful and oozes sex appeal,” I mentioned as he frowned. “Did you work with her today?”
“I know her as Terra and yes. I worked with her today but she’s one of the hardest actresses for me to be around.” Lance chuckled bitterly. “It’s just a movie set. There’s crew all over the place and a lot of it is simulated.”
“It isn’t arousing?” I asked in disbelief as he shook his head.
“No. You are. I’ve been thinking my life over since we met, but I’m locked into some contracts at the moment. I’d lose a lot of money if I backed out. It’s like any other job in the acting industry.” Lance heard my stomach growl and glanced down my body to my flat stomach. “Hungry?”
“Yeah. I didn’t eat much today. What did you bring over?” I asked as he smiled at me.
“Lots of Thai food.” We slowly got up and he pulled his pants on as I slipped a big shirt over my traitorous body. I knew that my windows were closed, and I glanced at his muscular chest for a moment before I led the way to the mess in the hallway. Lance collected the food after giving me the flowers with a charming smile and we both walked to the kitchen. I got the flowers in a vase and we plated the food, grabbing an open bottle of wine on the way to the couch.