“Lack of judgment is rather addictive. I should use a condom, but I don’t want to. Maybe it’s my thrill-seeking nature or because I trust your words. Either way, I want to feel all of you,” Lincoln stated.
I closed the drawer that held the condom stash and pulled him toward me.
“God, I ache for every part of you. From your neck to your toes. But what I really want is those lips. I don’t think you can truly appreciate my full potential until I kiss your mouth. It confuses me why you won’t allow it. I know I mean more to you than just this, because my feelings for you surpass sex. Now don’t get me wrong; this afternoon was great, but it only took the edge off. This thing between us has been building for over a week. I think since the first time we met.” His fingers combed through his hair as he lay on his side.
“Will you touch me?” he finally asked, reaching out to find my hand. My fingers curled around his rigid shaft. “Jesus, that feels good.”
I circled one fingertip on the crown, tracing the rim, then rubbing my palm across it. Then I slid my hand down to his balls, fondling the sack.
“Okay, you have to stop or I’ll be coming before I’m inside you. If you’re as talented with your mouth as you are with your hands, we may stay in bed the entire weekend.”
His body turned toward me and I straddled him. A look of surprise captured both our expressions. I’d rarely gotten any say-so when it came to sex. Truthfully, it had always been missionary or they just wanted oral. My needs had never been addressed. With Lincoln, it was different. He’d taken me from behind in his office, then asked what I wanted. I did appreciate him asking but suddenly felt sexually inadequate for my age. But I’d spent those formative years modeling and having a career. While other teens were exploring their sexuality, I was making millions. Intimacy had never been that important to me. Honestly, I felt more emotions toward my vibrator than I’d ever had for a single lover. Even as attractive as Xavier was, our sex life was minuscule, but then so was his dick.
I chuckled to myself.
“You want to share that joke?” he asked, seating his hands under my ass. “So I’m gathering you want to be on top?”
“I did mention my OCD, right? I love control.”
His hands slid upward to my hips as he twisted his body. I could feel his cock right at my entrance, so I swiveled just enough that his erection was touching my labia. I could feel wetness puddle as he inched closer to penetration.
“Lift up slightly.”
I peered down. His eyes squeezed in concentration. He looked at peace, something I didn’t see too often. I rose just enough that he was able to guide himself in.
“Fuck. Stop. Don’t move. Sit still.”
I noticed a drop of blood on his mouth from him biting his lip. I had the urge to lick it off but stopped myself. Having him inside me sans condom felt scandalous. I was in peril of losing my heart. Something I’d never once considered in my entire life.
I bent toward him, lifting my ass, then plummeting it back down. The noises he made sounded animalistic. I slid slowly up and down his veined length, my hands firmly placed on his chest. My pussy gripped him in a vise hold as my breathing became quick and shallow.
“Lincoln,” I whispered, feeling his hands on my back. “I’m going to come.”
He rocked into me as my back bowed and my orgasm jarred me into submission. He slammed me down on his cock several more times until his lips expelled a guttural groan. His hair was damp with sweat as he panted unevenly. “Damn. Wow. I really should have taken notes that time.”
I slapped him playfully. “I better never read anything close to what we’re doing in any future Maxwell Swan books,” I declared.
“Nothing I could ever write would be that perfect or exceptional. I think you just fucked my life force out of me.”
I laughed. “Oh, really? Weren’t you contemplating five condoms?” I asked, verbally taunting him.
“Oh, hell, I’m not finished by a long shot. How are you feeling?” he questioned, rolling me off, brushing his hand across my pussy. Beads of release clung to my mons as his fingers brushed across it. “I want you again. Can’t you tell?” He placed my hand on his hardening dick.
“I’m hot,” I stated, using my other hand to push my hair back. I kicked off the sheet covering us, giving me the full view of Lincoln’s naked body.
My skin appeared pale against his dark complexion. The ends of his hair curled up from sweat and his face glowed with perspiration. I couldn’t see a single flaw on his body. It was as though he had worn a protective shield during all his physical adventures, never once being hurt.
“How is it possible you don’t have a single scar from all the crazy shit you’ve done in your life? Do you have some guardian angel watching over you, because I can’t see one blemish?”
“I’m hardly perfect. Well, almost,” he quipped. “Broke my arm twice, my nose once, cracked a few ribs, and I have this right here.” He turned over, and right above his knee on the left leg was a long, ragged scar. “Moray eel when I was twenty. Nasty little fuckers. He wouldn’t let go. Hurt like a bitch. What about you? Got any scars from dangerous creatures biting you?” he asked, clicking his teeth.
Our discussion made me extremely self-conscious. This entire thing with him was a big fat lie. Even Lucas hadn’t been honest. Sure, his brother was a mess briefly, but he appeared to be handling his condition fairly well. I wasn’t sure why he’d even asked me to assist Lincoln. He could have gotten to this point without me. I hadn’t done shit. In retrospect, he had accomplished more for me than the other way around. I hadn’t been this settled with anyone, but all of this was a large-scale fantasy. And now that we’d been intimate, it made everything worse.
I rolled out of bed. “Hey, where are you going?” His hand touched the empty spot I’d left.
“Stepping outside on the terrace. It’s warm in here. I want to cool down. Can I take the sheet?” I asked, pulling it toward me.
Both his hands gripped the fabric tightly. “I can’t see you anyway, which is a damn shame. If you look anything like you feel, I’m missing out.”
I shrugged as I grabbed his T-shirt from the floor. It was long enough to cover me to mid-thigh.
He jumped out of bed. “I suppose you want me to put shorts on?”
“Well, since I swiped your shirt, yeah, that would be nice,” I commented, offering his shorts to him.
“I don’t know why we can’t just stay naked,” he mumbled, struggling to put on his trunks. “Better?” he asked, turning toward me.
“I suppose. But I rather like you without, too,” I replied.
“Then I guess it was smart of me to leave them unzipped. Just in case you get hungry. I mean, for a snack and all.”
I smiled to myself as I stepped outdoors. It was too early for sunrise yet, but it was clear and cool. I could hear the ocean waves crashing below. Lincoln’s arms went around me as I stood. “How could you tell where I was?”
“I’ll always know. Your body spray is a cock beacon.” He chuckled. “I want you to stay all weekend. Please don’t make excuses. I need you here… for more than the book. Jensyn, you make me feel better.”
My emotions flared. If he hadn’t been holding me, I might have cried. This was what I’d yearned for. Someone to accept me for who I was without judging me on my appearance. But this was a ruse; I hadn’t been honest. If I wanted to come clean, what did I say? By the way, my face is totally fucked up, and if your sight comes back, you’ll probably have second thoughts.
He held me tight, pressing his lips to the back of my neck. “I never thought I’d feel this at ease again. It must have been fate, because if I hadn’t gone blind, you wouldn’t be here. I felt so locked in, with no escape, and now all that seems trivial because of you.”
“Are you ready to tell me how this happened?” I asked, resting the back of my head against his bare chest.
“Will you tell me your secrets?”
“You first,” I quipped.
“Come on. Let’s go back to bed. We’ll talk then, maybe.”
I followed behind him, my hand clasping the waistband of his shorts. “I have to pee. Point me in the right direction.”
I spun him toward the door and watched him touch furniture, finding his way in the dark. As he came back, I heard several bumps followed by swear words. “Son of a bitch, that fucking hurt.” He sat on the edge of the bed, cradling his foot. “There has to be a way I don’t kill myself every time I take a shit.”
I snickered. “Thanks for the visual.”
He lay down, pushing himself toward my voice. “I mean it. If I can’t figure out a better route, that scar won’t be my only one, and my toes are suffering. Here, I brought a wet washcloth.”
“Holy hell, you want some cheese to go with that whine?”
“No, but a blowjob might take my mind off the pain.”
“Are you asking me to suck your dick?” I questioned, eyeing his growing shaft. My fingers danced across his open zipper.
“Lick it, suck it, play with it, whatever you want to do. Since I can’t kiss your lips, how about wrapping those babies around my cock?” I reached into his shorts, allowing my hand to stroke him as I cleaned him off with the cloth. “Okay, enough with the foreplay,” he said, tossing the washcloth, then slightly lifting so he could tug down his shorts. His erection sprang upward.
I gently encompassed it, and he became so stiff the veins looked like a roadmap. Heat pulsed all around me as I began to lick around and under his crown. His body jerked as he grabbed handfuls of hair, twisting it around his hand. I continued to explore every inch of him, squeezing his thigh gently.
“Feels so good. So good.” He growled.
I grazed my fingertips languidly across his balls as I licked his sack. My nipples tightened as I sealed my mouth around his length, feeding him in as far as I was able. The grip on my hair tightened, and his body went taut. I cupped his balls again, hollowing out my cheeks, bobbing him in and out.
A torrid ache began at my hips. This was such a salacious act for me that I was getting off.
His shaft became slippery as I sucked, adding more saliva with each stroke. I felt him swell as his sack tightened in my other hand. I began to suck greedily, faster, my own pleasure taking over. His dick brushed the roof of my mouth as I pulled him in closer. My knees hurt even with a soft mattress under them. I began to simulate fucking by holding his dick under the rim and pushing it in and out. I tasted the beginning of salty release as he struggled to keep from coming.
“It’s all right. I want to taste you,” I mumbled around his cock.
Lincoln became frantic as I continued to suck him in deeper. His body shook twice as he thrust into my mouth several times, loud grunts following. He was pulling my hair so tightly I thought my scalp would bleed. His orgasm emptied into my mouth, thick and abundant. My initial reaction was to spit—he’d never know—but I forced myself to swallow every drop.
He exhaled as he pulled back, his cock falling from my lips. “Shit, that was intense. Three years you say?” he asked, trying to catch his breath.
I popped from the bed and went into the bathroom. I flushed the toilet as I ran water in the sink. I didn’t want him to know I was rinsing my mouth. I spotted mouthwash and used it, studying my face in the mirror. My mouth and chin were chafed and red. In this light, my scars were pronounced. I finger-combed my hair, wondering why I bothered. It didn’t matter how I looked anyway.
“Better?” he questioned as I lay back down. He was on top of the sheet, and I licked my lips as I perused his body. “So getting back to my previous question. Three years?”
“For sex, yeah. What we just did, maybe fifteen.”
He sat up. “No fucking way. How is it you haven’t done oral in fifteen years? Were you alone on a desert island? I mean, seriously, Jensyn, your past intrigues the hell out of me.”
“There never was an opportunity. The truth is I’m not a very sexual person.”
He reached out, searching for my hand. “Are you kidding me? You are very sensuous, and obviously, what they say about blowjobs is true. It’s like riding a bike.” He grinned.
“You haven’t had one in a while, so I’m sure your standards are low. And I think it’s like having your tongue in my pussy. It would feel good no matter how bad you did it.”
He curled his fingers around my hand. “Jesus, I love it when you talk dirty. Makes me want to start from scratch and fuck you again.”
I yawned, our laced fingers pulling apart. “So here’s my counter offer. I’ll stay until tomorrow night if you let us sleep now. I realize it’s dark to you, but the sun is coming up. And if you want to work on the book, I have to get some sleep. And if I’m refreshed”—I paused to cup his ear and whisper—“I’ll let you fuck me again.”
I watched as his nipples became pebbles. His one hand traveled down his chest, past his belly button, down to his semi-erect cock. He stroked it once. “Did you hear that? Sleep equals more sex.”
I chuckled, covering both our bodies with the sheet. “Are you having conversations with your dick?”
“Hey, just be glad I haven’t named it… Okay, I did when I was younger, but I outgrew that phase of my life.”
I turned, facing away from him, and attempted sleep. I felt better than I had in years. He had a calming effect on me, better than any sleeping pill or antidepressant. My body felt sated, wondering what would come after. It was never far from my thoughts; I knew this would never last unless I revealed everything. And even then, I was taking a chance he might walk away.
I really didn’t know him well enough to trust him. That sentiment wasn’t freely given, but had to be earned. He hadn’t done anything that made me mistrust him. But he was a man, and that fact alone cautioned me it wasn’t a good thing. I would only know the type of person he really was if he knew my secrets.
I enjoyed what we had—friendship with benefits. I wasn’t sure if I was prepared to give that up. If anything, history had taught me even those closest would abandon me. Lincoln walking away would hurt me deeply.
I heard his soft snoring as I contemplated tomorrow, which might be all I had.