CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
It’s been a week since he tried to take me. The week consisted of nightmares, but not of him. Only of a world without Kanye. Every day the emotions of those brutal moments hit me and I need to see or touch Kanye to chase away my fear. He understands and pulls me into his arms, holding me until the moment passes and my heart is reassured that he is here with me. The memories are diluting with each passing day.
The fear of knowing what it feels like to lose Kanye will forever stay with me. But that’s life, isn’t it? Taking the risk to love someone knowing one day you will lose each other. Love is pain. Without the pain, how would you know what love feels like?
Kanye hasn’t mentioned him once since he arrived back with Joseph and I don’t want to know. All that matters is we are safe.
My parents freaked out when they found out what had happened. Thankfully Jake and Kanye were able to calm them and explain the monster would never be a problem again. My parents understand what that meant and I know it gives them some semblance of peace.
Lily came over that night, rushed into my house, and knocked the wind out of me when she tackled me to the sofa, hugging me so tightly. I knew losing someone else in her life wasn’t an option for Lily.
When she let me up, tears flowed down her smiling face as she spoke, “I missed all the fun of watching the bad guy get his karma.”
She pouted. We then heard Jake curse behind us. “Jesus Christ.”
We both burst out laughing and Lily said, “High five, sista. You kicked ass.” We high fived and then a flash went off. We looked over and caught Kanye holding my camera.
He shrugged, saying, “Now you can add your picture to the others, Emmy.”
He walked out of the room and I was left staring at the spot he just left. My picture would join the other photos of people who are smiling, happy.
A picture of me smiling.
Kanye had my smiling picture blown up and framed. At the moment, it’s in the dining room on the wall, but it will be moved into my studio once the construction is done. The other pictures of our family and friends have been framed as well, added to our wall in the living room. The rest of the pictures I have put away, somewhere safe. They may be pictures of strangers, but they represent a time in my life when I struggled but held on. When I fought through every day the best I could. They represent me surviving.
***
One week later.
I gaze up at the blue sky, the breeze rolling over my body. I’m lying on the pebbled trail in my rose garden. I inhale the fresh, beautiful smells of my roses. Reaching over, I caress a pink rose, stroke the petals, and appreciate the softness.
I remember the belief I held not long ago that the only time my life or I would ever be perfect was before my abduction. That I could never get back that carefree, loving girl that Kanye put a rose on for my prom. My rose and that moment in time became my obsession. Instead of looking at what I had, I kept looking at what I thought I had lost. But examining this rose now and seeing the edges darkening, the leaves bent and the petals ripped in places, I now understand that even roses can’t be perfect. They all have their own scars from their life cycle, yet they stand tall and are beautiful.
I am a rose. I have scars from my life, but I am strong. I stand tall and I grasp life every day and live. I survived. I’m a survivor and I’m proud of myself.
I hear the creak of the back door opening and watch as Kanye strides toward me.
“My girl enjoying her rose garden?” he asks.
I smile up at him. Bending, he scoops me up into his arms. I squeal at the surprise and then wrap my legs around his waist.
“There is one thing I’ve been dying to do again in this rose garden,” Kanye states with a wicked grin.
He swiftly places us both on the ground in the middle of the rose garden, next to the fountain. I’m surrounded by the warmth of the man who never gave up on me. I stare into his eyes and hope he can see the everlasting love I hold for him. Kanye places soft kisses along my jaw, while I stare at the beautiful, flawed roses, and the sun shines down on us. We make love in the rose garden and I let go of my skewed, perfect, existence and embrace my flawed, wonderful, and precious life.