Chapter 5

Buzz

I just left Liz’s place, I needed to make sure that no one was in her house. Everything was fine and then some. I found her fuck toy, my girl has needs and she is taking care of them herself. I wish I was the one taking care of those needs but I’m no good for her. I don’t want to hurt her.

I had a club whore stay over one night after I got shit faced. We fucked and she stayed over and I ended up choking her out in her sleep. I could have killed her. I didn’t know that I was doing it because I was asleep, I was having a flashback from my time in the military. It took two brothers to get me off of her and I felt so bad. Luckily, she understood and she left. I am just happy I didn’t kill her. I couldn’t imagine doing that to Liz, I still have nightmares every night, some nights I can’t even sleep because I keep getting flashbacks of everything I did and saw during my deployments.

I am not even sure Liz likes me. I have tried to flirt with her but she never flirts back. I would love for her to be my old lady, but I don’t think she ever would. I wouldn’t want her to be stuck with a man that is broken, she deserves so much better.

My cell phone brings me out of my thoughts as it buzzes in my pocket. I pull it out of my pocket and see that it is Breaker calling me.

I answer. “Buzz here.”

“Hey man, everything alright?” He says.

“Everything is good man, some fuckers broke into her bakery and trashed the place. I went over to her place and made sure no one was in there.”

“Alright, if you need anything you let me know. You know you can protect her better by making her an old lady, then she would have the club’s protection fully.”

“You know she won’t go for that.”

“Why not? I see the way you look at her brother. She is a good honest woman and she knows the club.”

“Fuck, is it that obvious?”

“Yes fucker, it is. Everyone knows that you have a thing for her. You haven’t so much as sniffed the same way at a woman since the incident last year until Liz came around.”

“Fuck. Alright man. I am on my way back to the clubhouse. I will see you in a few.”

“See ya soon, brother.” He hangs up the call.

We arrive back at the clubhouse and the party is still alive and kicking. I make my way to the room where we hold church and find Breaker, Tank, Winger and Rock in there.

I push Winger’s feet off the table so I can get through and walk to an open seat.

“What’s up fuckers? We holding church and I don’t know about it.” I ask.

“No, we are just chatting, getting away from the dick breath out there.” Winger says.       

The guys all start chuckling because they all know he is talking about Gemma.

“Everything okay with Liz?” Breaker asks.

“She is pretty freaked out and I am sure that someone was watching us when we got to the bakery. I saw the fuck and had Rock here run some tags on the plates. I have never seen his plates before or seen him before.” I say.

“You find anything Rock?” Breaker asks.

“Not yet Pres, the program is still searching.” Rock says.

“Well, you let me know when you do.” I say.

“Her place was pretty fucked up, I have never seen anything like that. You could see the hate that someone had when they were fucking up her shit.” Winger says.

“Yeah, I know man, I know she isn’t telling me everything.” I say.

I hate that she is alone and no one is with her. I would have asked for one of the old ladies to go spend some time with her but I don’t want to put them in the crossfire of the psycho who is messing with my girl.

I know Liz is stubborn and won’t accept my protection or the club’s protection.

“You gonna make her an old lady so she has the club’s protection?” Tank asks. He is sipping on some scotch.

“Making her my old lady is some serious shit, plus she won’t go for it either.”

“You know that is the only way she will get our protection to the max. For her to be truly safe, if you made her an old lady or one of the other brothers did she would be safest.” Breaker says.

My fists clench and I am getting pissed. “No one is going to make her an old lady, if it is going to be anyone it will be me. No one touches her.” I say.

“Calm your shit fuckhead, I already have my old lady and I just wanted to see how serious you were about Liz. Now that I see you get your panties all in a bunch I know you want her.” Breaker says.

“Come on fuckers, I need some more liquor, plus we are celebrating out here. I don’t want the other chapters to think we are pussies.” Tank says.

We all get up and make our way out of the room into the main clubhouse.

I can’t help but think of Liz. I really want to be with her right now, she must be on edge with what just happened. I want her to know that I am there for her and that I am serious about giving her my help, I can’t give her my heart or soul because lord know I may not have one with all the shit I have done, but I can provide her with friendship. I make my way over to Tank and ask him to help me out with something.