Chapter Eighteen
I snorted and gripped my side at Levi’s British accent. A few glasses of wine turned into emptying the entire bottle and getting into my stash. Two and a half bottles later, Levi was showing me his impressions.
“It’s good, huh? I think I missed my calling in life to be an actor.” Levi flopped down on the couch next to me.
“Nope. Pretty sure you would be a starving actor.” The music switched to “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran, and I clapped my hands.
“Love this song.” I hummed along.
Levi jumped up and reached out his hand for me. “May I have this dance?” He wiggled his eyebrows at me.
I wasn’t a good dancer, but with a few glasses of wine in me, I felt like I could do anything and do it well. I placed my hand in Levi’s, and he pulled me close, one hand falling to my waist.
The silliness, the accents, all were gone. It was just us and the music. I was hyperaware of his hands, that both now were positioned on my waist. His touch was foreign, different from what I had been used to, but it made me feel alive. Resting my head against his shoulder, I relished his touch, the closeness of our bodies. I inhaled, the scent of his aftershave still lingering on his neck. My eyes studied his long neck, the muscles that were pulsing as I brought my hand up to stroke it. The fear and hesitation were gone, and all I wanted to do was taste him, to feel Levi’s lips against mine.
He looked down just as my hands cupped his cheeks.
“Rainey.” The music hummed in the background, and nothing could make this moment more perfect. Levi stood still, hesitation lingering in his eyes as he searched my face. “You have to tell me what you want.” His hands gripped my arms, as if at any second he was going to either push me away or crash his lips down on mine. All I had to do was tell him that I was ready, and the tension, it’d be gone. The buildup in my mind of what this kiss would mean would come to an end.
“I’m ready,” I whispered, our lips only inches apart. The way his hands gripped my arms, I expected the kiss to be hard and fast. With a smile, Levi let go of my arms and softly caressed my cheek. He placed his hand behind my head, and with a subtle lean, his lips gently met mine. It was slow at first, our lips and bodies becoming aligned. My arms hung by my side, then grasped around his neck to strengthen the connection. His tongue lashed out, coaxing my lips open. I nipped at his lip, and he moaned.
Breathlessly we parted, both our lips swollen from the kiss. I wasn’t thinking of my past, of the heartache that I felt not long ago, but of how much kissing Levi was worth the wait.
We stood in front of each other, the song switching over before either of us spoke, the intensity of what just happened still buzzing in the air.
“That was intense,” Levi finally said.
“It was.” I brushed my fingers against my lips and smiled.
“Stop smiling like that, Raindrop, or I won’t be going home tonight.” My lips formed a perfect O shape at his confession.
“Don’t worry.” He moved toward me and kissed my forehead. “Not tonight. That kiss was everything I knew it would be. Remember what I said, I’ll wait until you’re ready. For everything.” I breathed a sigh of relief. While I knew I wanted to see where things would go with Levi, I wasn’t ready to have sex with him yet. Although my wet panties would say otherwise, I wanted to take things slow. Relish the little things, like a first kiss that almost knocked me on my ass.
“On that note….” He glanced at his cell phone. “It’s after midnight. I’m going to go home since I have to be up for work in six hours.”
“Oh, here!” I rushed into the kitchen and swiped the container of food I had made him. “Take this home. You can have it for lunch tomorrow or whatever.”
“Thank you.” Levi pressed a kiss to my forehead as he held my front door open. Taking one last glance at me, he shook his head. “It’s hard to go, but I know it’s the right thing.” I bit my lip and nodded. It was the right thing. Taking things slow, I reminded myself.
“Good night, Levi.”
“Night, Raindrop.” I latched the door behind him and flung myself on the couch.
“Holy shit!” I screeched. Everything about tonight was perfect. Nothing could take away the feelings of being wanted and cared for that I felt whenever Levi was around.
A knock at the door made me jump. I smiled, thinking that Levi couldn’t leave.
“Levi, I thought we said we’d wait….” I opened the door, fully prepared to give myself to Levi, to strip down and make love to him, because I deserved that. I deserved to feel something again other than heartache. When I opened the door, my smile melted away. It wasn’t Levi. In front of me stood Parker.
“Rainey.”
I stumbled back and gripped the side of the door. “What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be in Afghanistan?” Parker looked me over, stopping at my face that still had makeup from my date with Levi. I was suddenly extremely self-conscious. I pulled down my halter top.
“I’m done. I didn’t go back. I was up for reenlistment and didn’t sign. I’m out. I should have been out years ago when you begged me to stay and start a family. When you told me that this life wasn’t what you wanted. I won’t lie and say I haven’t made mistakes. That I didn’t run out on our marriage, but it was because I was weak. Damaged. Broken. And I still am. But my God, Rainey, falling in love with you at seventeen was the best thing that has ever happened to me. I can’t throw that all away.”
This couldn’t be happening. Not here. Not now. After all these years of trying to get Parker to understand how this life was impacting me, he cheated on me, we filed for divorce, and now he wanted me to forgive him?
“I took a letter with me from the box you kept of all of our memories.” He pulled a crinkled, grayed piece of lined paper out of his pocket and read.
“I forgot how beautiful the world was until I saw your face.
Your smile makes me forget all the pain.
Your touch brings me to a better place.
Chaos was my life until you calmed it.
Disaster was my soul until you mended it.
You saved me.”
Tears streamed down my face. I ripped the letter from his hand and clutched it tightly. “But you broke me, Parker. You tore me into a million pieces. You stepped out on our marriage when I needed you the most.”
Parker’s own tears fell. “I’m sorry. I know that isn’t enough. That these are just words. I’m going to get help. Finally see someone about my own issues. I promise you that I will spend the rest of our life together proving to you that I am the man you married eight years ago. I can fix this. We can fix this. Don’t give up on us yet. Our story may have started when we were young, but it’s going to continue forever. It has to.” Parker fell to his knees, pulling me against him.
We wept together, standing in the doorway to what was once our home, the place where so many memories were made. The place where so many promises were broken.
What the fuck was I supposed to do?
The End
For Now
Rainey, Levi, and Parker return in January 2018 in Out of Goodbyes.