Chapter Six
Another day, another dollar. I kept replaying the conversation between Parker and me through my mind. There was nothing left. My marriage was over and my effort was for shit. There’s nothing like knowing you’d been trying to keep things together when your husband had been trying to find his happiness elsewhere. I guess I wasn’t worth the effort, and that fucking sucked to realize.
“Hey, Raindrop.” Levi stood at the nurses’ station grinning ear to ear. In his hands were two steaming cups of coffee, and I swear I drooled at the smell of the fresh beans wafting to my nose. I let out a moan.
I had seen Levi in passing a few times since our last exchange. We were cordial, but something about him put me on edge. He was a good guy, I could feel it. But my current state of mind left me in jeopardy of making poor decisions. And Levi was a bad decision waiting to happen.
“If I knew the key to your heart was coffee, I would have started sooner.” He placed the cup in my hand, and I brought it to my lips and closed my eyes, relishing the liquid’s smoothness as it slid down my throat. Coffee gave me life. Crazy, but it did, and this coffee was everything.
“How’d you know how I like it?” I whispered, holding the cup between my hands. I hadn’t spoken to him since that day I laid into him. Nothing like coffee to heal one’s soul and mend broken fences.
“Jean told me.” I should have said something about him asking how I liked my coffee, but I didn’t care. Right now, I needed the coffee, especially since it was only 12:00 a.m. and I was here until seven.
“How’s your husband?” he asked between sips of his coffee. I was taken aback by him asking and nearly choked.
“Parker’s okay. We got to talk briefly a few nights ago.” I coughed and tried to avoid Levi’s eyes as I spoke about Parker. I didn’t want to tell him that I was getting a divorce. That I had no clue where my life was headed. But God, did I want to bare my soul to this complete stranger. He just made me comfortable, even when everything else in my life was going to shit.
“That’s good. Communication is key during deployment. It’s hard, but—”
“Levi! Rainey!” Jean came to the nurses’ station and leaned against it. “Tomorrow night we are going to the Rusty Saloon for some drinks and appetizers. You two are invited.”
“Oh, I don’t usually go out.” I put my cup of coffee down and continued charting.
Jean shook her head. “Right.” She turned to Levi. “I’ve been trying to get her to go out for years, and she always turns us down.”
“Is that so?” Levi seemed amused as he looked between Jean and me.
“I’ll think about it. I’m very busy.” I took another sip of my coffee and tried to focus on the charting in front of me. I had no plans, other than my pajamas, takeout, and Netflix. That was my idea of a good time.
“Busy. Right.” Jean laughed. “I’m off to cuddle the babies!” she said in a singsong way as she nearly skipped down the hall. Jean worked in the maternity ward and adored the babies. I adored babies too and would sneak up there on breaks and hold them. I wanted to be a mother so bad. Parker wasn’t sure he wanted kids.
Now, I was even further away from being a mother. Nothing like going backward in life.
“You don’t have any plans, do you?” Levi raised his eyebrow.
“I like to just relax at home. You know this type of work can wear you out.” I didn’t make eye contact with Levi, but I could feel his eyes boring into me.
“You wait for him to call. Sit at home and hold the phone in your hands.” My head shot up. “My ex-wife used to do that. She said that’s what drew her to find someone else. She hated waiting. It drove her mad.” He let out a small laugh. “So instead of finding balance in her life, she cheated.”
“I’m not a cheater.” I placed down my coffee a little too hard, spilling some of it over the top of the cup. I hardly knew Levi at all, so the thought of sharing with him that Parker had moved on and that my marriage was over seemed a bit odd, but it was on the tip of my tongue to prove to him that I wasn’t the one who’d stepped out on my marriage.
“I’m sure you aren’t. But neither was Heather, my ex. Deployments wreak havoc on relationships if not handled with care. You sitting at home isn’t healthy. I’m sure Parker wouldn’t want that.”
I hated that he was right. I knew my obsession with waiting and never missing a call or e-mail wasn’t healthy. I felt bad going out and having a good time while Parker was in Afghanistan and I didn’t know if he was cold, fighting off gunfire, or had a place to lay his head. If he was miserable, I thought I had to be miserable.
I guess none of that mattered anymore, did it?
“I felt bad. Having fun.”
Levi’s eyes softened. “Come out with us tomorrow. Just for a bit. It’s okay to live your life. Your marriage will be better for it.”
My marriage is over. He has someone else, and I’m all alone.
“Why do you just show up and drop emotional bombshells on me?” I shook my head. “You’re some evil mastermind.”
Levi laughed. “Just know what it’s like, that’s all.” He leaned over the counter, his uniform tautening against his body “What do you say?”
“I’ll think about it.” I grinned. “Now, don’t you have people to save?”
Levi laughed as he walked away, leaving me to focus on my charting and relish the few seconds that the ER wasn’t crazy busy. I didn’t know where life was headed for me, but for the first time in a while, I smiled, and I meant it.