Chapter Sixteen
I was thankful to be at work. There was nothing like a twelve-hour shift in the chaos that was the ER to make me forget about everything. I stretched, mentally readying myself for work.
“I’m so sorry to hear about you and Parker.” Jean gave me a hug.
“Wow, news travels fast, huh?” I tried to laugh it off, but it bothered me. Now, the solace of my job would become filled with endless I’m sorrys and what happened. This was supposed to be my safe place, my place to escape.
“Well, you aren’t wearing your ring.” Jean glanced down at my ring finger that was bare, except for a faint outline from all the years that my wedding band had been there. I had forgotten I took it off the day Parker told me he had been seeing someone else.
“Right,” I said as Jean and I walked together. I snagged a chart from outside the curtain of the next patient in the ER.
“I know we aren’t really close, but I’m here if you ever want to talk. I got divorced a year ago. It isn’t easy, but you’ll be better for it.” Jean teared up.
“Really?” I realized how little I knew about the people I worked with. Another part of my life I kept my distance from.
“Yeah. We weren’t together as long as you and Parker, but I thought he was my forever. Guess life had other plans.” Jean laughed. “I’m good now. Took a while, but I moved on. I have Craig, and I’m happy. Really happy.”
“That’s good, Jean. I’m happy for you, but I’m not ready to date. The ink hasn’t even dried on my divorce papers yet.”
Jean put her hands on both my shoulders. “I never thought I’d be ready either, but Craig came into my life, and it was perfect.” Her eyes averted to the side as Levi walked down the hall, smiling at me. Jean winked at me before she scurried away, leaving me and the incoming Levi.
“Hey,” I said, clutching the chart in my hand. “I was just about to go in and see this patient.”
“Cool. I just dropped someone off and wanted to see if I could take you out to dinner tonight?” Levi ran his fingers through his hair and shifted from foot to foot. I liked that he was slightly nervous asking me to dinner, because I was nervous too, about everything. The past. The future. Life. I was a walking anxiety attack waiting to happen.
“I’d love to, but I work until 7:00 a.m.” I clutched the chart even tighter, my fingers going numb.
“Oh. That’s cool. No worries, maybe another time.” He shoved his hands in his pockets.
“How about breakfast?” I smiled wide. “I love french toast.”
“Yeah. That sounds good. The diner across the street work?”
“Sounds good, Levi. And thanks for the other night. If you weren’t there….”
“Hey.” He leaned forward and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear that had fallen from my ponytail. “Don’t mention it.”
It was hard not to mention the intimate nature of what we shared that night. He’d held me in my most vulnerable state and didn’t walk away. He showed me more care than my husband of eight years ever did. I wanted to mention it because it meant something to me, more than he’d ever know.
“I’ve got to get going before I get fired. Tomorrow. Breakfast. The diner.” I gave him a thumbs-up before going behind the curtain and getting my shift started. I wasn’t exactly sure what tomorrow would bring, but french toast and coffee? I could look forward to that.
***
I was exhausted. Working twelve hours and heading right to breakfast wasn’t the smartest choice. I wanted to curl up in my bed, pull the curtains tight, and sleep until my shift tonight.
“What are you thinking about?” I opened my eyes, and Levi stared at me, humor dancing in his eyes. “Looks like whatever it is, you’re enjoying.”
“My bed. No offense, this was great, but twelve hours is killer, especially in the ER on a Friday night.” I stuffed another piece of french toast in my mouth.
“I know what that’s like. I’m off the next few days, though, so I’ll miss the craziness of the weekend for a change.” Levi took a sip of his tea. It still astounded me that he didn’t drink coffee, especially in our line of work. Coffee was my lifeline.
I looked out the window that highlighted the beautiful day. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, and I smiled.
“You’re full of expressive faces this morning. Care to let me in on what’s making you smile? Not that I’m complaining, because I love your smile. It’s nice to see you happy.”
I looked at Levi thoughtfully. Was I happy? I wasn’t so sure what happy was anymore. I’d had ebbs and flow of happiness all throughout my life, but how I felt right now, content, even remotely satisfied, could have been the french toast, or it could have been something more.
“It’s just a beautiful day. The sun’s out. I just ate french toast in good company. I don’t want it to end.”
Levi put his cup of tea down and signaled the waitress for the check. “The day doesn’t have to end. Let’s go to the park.”
I laughed. “The park?”
“Sure. Lots of fun things to do at the park.”
Screw it. What did I have to lose but a couple of hours of sleep?
“I’m going to need a coffee to go.” With a smile, Levi paid the check and ordered me a coffee to go and himself a tea.
***
Who knew playing in the park as an adult was so much fun? It was still early, so Levi and I were the only ones. It was peaceful, swinging on the swings as the sun kissed my cheeks.
“Want to go make out under the play scape?”
I gaped at the frankness of Levi’s words. He wiggled his eyebrows. “Levi!” I said with a laugh.
“I’m teasing. Unless you want to help me fulfill that fantasy? I won’t object.” He pumped his legs and swung a little higher, having to raise his voice so I could hear him.
“That’s your fantasy? Making out under the play scape?” I twisted around on the swing like I used to when I was younger.
Levi stopped himself from swinging and hopped off. I watched him stalk toward me like a dog after a bone. His eyes, the brightness of them, turned darker, like a storm was brewing. Placing his hands on the ropes of my swing, he knelt so he was at eye level with me.
“If you haven’t figured it out yet, Raindrop, anything that includes you is a fantasy of mine, but I know you’re hurting and struggling, and I would never pursue you until you’re ready. So, until that day, I’ll take you out, wrap you in towels when you feel like you just can’t go on, and I’ll prove to you that not all guys are assholes and cheat.”
Instinctively, I licked my lips. Everything was telling me to press my lips against his. I wanted to feel again, to take a leap of faith without fear. To think about myself for once and what I wanted, and right now, I wanted Levi.
“Don’t lick your lips like that. I meant what I said. I’m waiting until you tell me you’re ready, but I don’t think you know how hard it’s been to watch you struggle. I’ve fought to keep my distance. I don’t want to start what I know will be something amazing between us due to some sexual attraction, or a need for you to escape. I want you to mean it, because I sure as hell will.”
Levi stood up, releasing his hands from the swing, sending me spinning. Closing my eyes, I let his words take me over. He wanted me. He’d wait for me until I was ready. I was attracted to him and knew he was a good guy, but something he’d said stuck with me. I shouldn’t try to screw away the memories of Parker, and I wouldn’t, because something told me that what Levi and I might share could be worth the wait.