Chapter Five
"You have a few options, Drew. You can go home with someone who can help you, your parents maybe. Or, you can always go to a rehab facility here. We have some great ones we have connections to that will cater to your every need as well provide you the physical and occupational therapy to get you moving and more independent as you recover. What you can't do is be released until you have a plan that doesn't involve you going home alone. You’re not ready for that, yet.”
The doctor was right about that. Drew had spent most of the first two days after he regained consciousness sleeping or groggy, but once he was more coherent, he'd been moved to a quieter wing of the hospital. They’d gotten him up and walking a few steps, but with his hand still in a cast, and his opposite shoulder still sore, using a cane to help him get around was a limited option.
It had also become clear that Drew was experiencing short-term memory loss - unable to recall much about their tour, awards, other activities, and certain people. As far as he knew, they'd just signed a contract with a recording studio and were planning a tour. He was missing almost two years of his life, the same amount of time that we’d been separated.
It also meant he didn't remember our breakup; as far as he was concerned, I was there as his devoted girlfriend. Not wanting to upset him until he was further recovered, the rest of us agreed not to say anything until his memories came back on their own. I didn't mind that role; it felt natural, like coming home again after a long absence, which was pretty much the truth. Lauren had not been happy about it. I'm not sure what one or more of the guys said to her or threatened her with, but she'd reluctantly agreed.
Drew wrinkled his nose, and I knew he was struggling with the idea of losing his independence. His parents looked uncertain. "We can see what's available near us." I'd learned earlier that they'd sold their house and moved into a retirement community in Florida, so they didn’t have space for him.
"You could come home with me. I'd take excellent care of you." Lauren's voice dripped with sweetness. There was no question as to how she wanted to take care of him.
"Why would I do that?"
Lauren looked caught off guard. "Well, even though I know you can't remember, we've grown very close. Very close."
Gross! I closed my eyes and silently prayed that Drew wouldn't take her up on her offer. I’m not sure I could handle that.
"Umm." Drew's eyes moved to me, almost pleading. There was no one else in the room; the rest of the band had gone home to rest and assure their families they were fine.
"I have space." The words were out of my mouth before I even knew it.
"Really?"
I plastered a smile, wondering what the hell I’d just done. Being here for Drew in the hospital surrounded by people was one thing, having him in my home, just the two of us, was another matter altogether. But seeing Drew's eyes light up, I knew I couldn't take my invitation back. "Yeah. Sure. I have a single-floor home with an extra bedroom. I live near Providence, so you wouldn't have to travel very far."
The doctor beamed. "Excellent! I know some excellent therapists there. I can call and make the arrangements."
"Oh, this is a relief." His mom came over and gave me a big hug. "I feel so much better knowing he'll be with you. I know you'll take good care of him. You always did." Sometimes I wondered if she also didn't remember that her son and I had broken up, but then, she never made it a secret that she thought we made a good couple. For all I knew, she was planning this all along. Right, Emma. Like they knew months ago this would happen and sold their house and moved so that they could say 'no' to Drew when he needed a place to live.
His mom leaned down to kiss his forehead. "Now that that's settled, we're going to go back to the hotel and rest a bit. We'll be back later to visit with you some more. I'm sure you have some things to work out."
The calm lasted until they were out the door.
"What do you mean you're going to go home with her?" Lauren sounded apoplectic.
"Why wouldn't I?"
"A lot has happened that you don't remember."
"My leg and wrist are broken, not my brain, Lauren. We've established I don't remember everything."
"I mean about her. You don't remember the things she's done."
I sucked in a breath. Apparently, the gloves were off, and we were going to have our showdown.
I’d give her one warning. "Lauren, don't."
She laughed, a crazy I'm-going-ape-shit kind of laugh. "You two aren't even a couple anymore. She dumped you, Drew. She left you when you needed her most, and you haven't spoken in forever."
"You made sure of that, didn’t you? From what I’ve heard, you haven’t been around either. I’m here now, by his choice.”
"Like that's enough?" She laughed some more. "You think you can just waltz in here and pick up where you left off like nothing ever happened?"
"No, I --"
"Enough!" Drew's voice cut through the shouting with more strength than I would have given him credit for having after all he'd been through.
"Drew, you don't know what she's done."
"No, I don't. Nor do I remember anything I may have done. Whatever happened between us is between her and me."
Lauren threw her hands up in the air. "I'm the one who's always been there for you, Drew. I'm the one you should be turning to, not her. We had a connection. One that you have obviously also forgotten. You don't remember the truth of how things were with her. Maybe there's a good reason you don't remember them. You're just romanticizing her. She put your needs last, She's selfish and an opportunist, and she --"
How dare she? If anyone was an opportunist, it was her! I was about to storm across the room and toss her out on her designer clothed ass but Drew grabbed hold of my arm.
"Enough! Obviously, I don't remember certain things, including anything that may or may not have happened between Emma and me or you and me for that matter. But she's here now. She dropped everything she was doing to be here when she didn't have to be, and that's not the actions of a selfish person. And I know my feelings are so strong for her, I can't imagine anything changing that, nor having anything of worth with you."
Lauren's mouth flapped open and closed several times like a fish's, and I did a mental fist-pump at how Drew didn't allow her to manipulate him.
"I appreciate all you've done to help handle the media, but maybe it's time to return to New York. As I’ve been told, you’re only temporary anyway. You can do the same job just as easily there as here. The crew has mostly gone home already, and the guys are already gone. My family is leaving today. And so am I. With Emma." He stared firmly at her when it appeared she about to argue further. "I'm done discussing this with you, Lauren. I don't owe you anything, and you're just a little too eager to keep Emma and me separated. You’re giving me a reason to suspect that’s part of the reason you were fired the first time.”
My eye widened at this news, as did Lauren’s.
“You thought no one told me about that? You obviously don’t know the band as well as you claim.”
"And you don't know her the way you think you do. I'm just trying to protect you, Drew."
"I said enough," Drew roared.
Lauren's shoulders slumped. "Fine. But don't say I didn't warn you." She whirled toward the door. "Bitch," she called to me over her shoulder, then disappeared.
I wasn't sure what to say. "Wow."
Drew closed his eyes. “I’m sorry about that.”
“Why are you sorry?”
“Because I suspect you and I have a history I won’t like, and that she’s a part of it. So, if me going home with you is too much, just say the word. I’d never want to do something to hurt you, and it kills me to think I already have.”
I closed my eyes and sighed, then looked at him directly. "I still care about you. I would never wish you any harm in any way, despite what the wicked witch tried to suggest. I don't live that far, so it's easier on you traveling, and I have enough space where we can each have some privacy. It’s the best solution, and I honestly don’t mind. We’re both adults. We can handle this."
He nodded. "I've sensed there was something off between us. It's like the notes are there, but our rhythm is off. You hesitate at my touch. I feel your tension. I don't know what happened, and I don't want to know, at least, not right now. Knowing something drove a wedge between us hurts. But even so, even now, I know I trust you.
Later, I'd blame it on being overtired, but Drew's honesty stirred up all kinds of emotions I thought I'd buried. Apparently, not deep enough. A tear dripped down my cheek and onto my hand.
"Don't cry, baby." His thumb slipped over my hand and rubbed the tear away.
"So, we're doing this?"
He nodded. "As long as you'll still have me. As you said, we're adults. No matter the circumstances, we can make this work, maybe even find our rhythm again."
I smiled and clasped his hand between mine. We sat like that for a while, each lost in our thoughts.
I finally broke the silence. "Can I ask you something?"
He quirked his eyebrow.
"Is it weird for you not to remember? I mean, so much has happened that everyone knows but you."
His sigh sounded tired. "Yeah." He frowned and moved his arm back to his lap, his fingers twisting the sheet. "It's like being given a wrapped box. Everyone else knows what's in it and is anxious for you to open it, only the ribbon around it is tied in so many knots, you can't get past them. It's right at your fingertips, but you're helpless to open it."
I nodded. "I can't imagine. It must be hard."
"It's okay. Sometimes I wonder if I want to remember everything." His voice was flat as he stared first at the sheets, then at me.
I wasn't sure which was the worst burden - remembering or forgetting.
"Drew, what if you finally get the box open, and you don't like what you find?"
"That sounds ominous."
I shrugged, miserable with my knowledge that he didn't share. It felt like a burden, and I wished I could be like him and have it erased.
"Em, I can't change the past. All I can do is deal with the now. I just need to know one thing. Are you with me in that? No matter what's happened in the past, can you leave it there? Can you help me build new memories while I rebuild my strength?"
I closed my eyes. His thumb rubbed small circles on the back of my hand sending a shiver through me. There was nothing wrong with my memory, and his touch triggered another flood of them, all centered around how he could make my body sing with the notes of pure, unadulterated pleasure. Could this be a new chance for us? Was it possible to have a different ending? Would he be able to handle the changes that had taken place?
"Em?"
Opening my eyes, I smiled at him. "I can do that."