Chapter Five
Lexi was the coolest dichotomy of innocent and sinfully sexy Zaan had ever met. She might not have a lot of experience but he had no doubt she was ready to change that. He left her in the SUV while he ran into a drug store to buy condoms, regretting they had to do this at a hotel instead of his bed, his apartment, a place they could relax and not have to worry about anyone seeing them. He knew he could call one of his teammates—Vlad or Tore would let him use their apartment—but it wasn’t a much better option since Tore couldn’t keep a secret and Vlad would be uncomfortable keeping that kind of secret from Rob.
He got back in his SUV and drove to a little hotel on the northern edge of the county. He hated sneaking around but reminded himself they were adults and weren’t doing anything wrong. It didn’t seem too much to ask to want privacy and there wasn’t anything he wanted more than to be alone with her. He honestly didn’t even care if they had sex—he wanted to touch her, kiss her, listen to her voice… sex would be a fantastic bonus but not mandatory.
Her fingers sliding between his startled him back to the present and he squeezed them, wondering if she was as nervous as he was or merely excited. They hadn’t said a word since leaving the movie theater, but she’d turned up the radio and they were now singing along to Deep Purple’s “Hush,” their voices blending together in the small space.
“Your voice is beautiful,” he said when the song ended, turning to glance at her.
“Thanks. I’ve been singing since I was little.”
“Is that what you’re going to Julliard for?”
“Vocals and drama—that way I have options. TV, movies, Broadway—the sky’s the limit.”
“That’s exciting.”
“Just keep your fingers crossed Julliard lets me in this year.”
“If they don’t?”
“I’ll go to UNLV for a year and then re-apply, but I want to go now—I’ve already lost enough time.”
“I understand that.”
They were pulling into the parking lot of the hotel and he parked along the side of the building. “You stay here and I’ll get a room. I’ll text you the room number and you come up on your own, okay? That way even if someone recognizes me, they won’t see us together.”
“I hope you don’t think I’m ashamed to be seen at a hotel with you,” she said softly. “I just don’t want to make trouble between you and my dad or embarrass either of us.”
He leaned over and kissed her cheek. “I know, babe. I’ll text you in a few minutes.”
Lexi wondered why she wasn’t nervous, but the reality was she didn’t care what anyone thought. She didn’t want her dad to be upset with Zaan, but other than that, she had no reservations about what they were about to do. Before the cancer, she’d figured she’d lose her virginity sometime during high school, not before she turned 16, but probably before she was 18. She’d been 16 when she’d done it but hadn’t thought about it again until recently. She’d hoped she would meet someone when she got to college that would make her want to try again, so being this attracted to Zaan had been a special kind of surprise.
She started when her phone buzzed and looked down at the text with a smile.
Room 310.
She got out of the SUV, locked it and headed inside, looking for the elevators as she bypassed the front desk. She wished she was wearing something other than shorts and a T-shirt, but she hadn’t gotten dressed up to go to the movies and though she’d been hoping this would happen, there’d been no way to prepare since she didn’t own any lingerie or anything.
Zaan was waiting in the doorway, a smile on his face and she moved right into his arms, backing him into the room. His lips instantly sought hers, their tongues mingling with both curiosity and familiarity as the door slid shut behind her. They’d kissed a lot in the last 24 hours and she couldn’t get enough. She wrapped her arms around his neck and let herself get lost in him. Being this close was almost too intimate, too hot for reality, and she ached with need. She didn’t truly understand what that meant, what it would take to satisfy that ache, but she wanted to find out.
She kicked off her sandals as they moved towards the bed, but instead of getting on it, he turned so her back was to his front, and they were facing the mirror on one wall. Their gazes locked in the reflection and he slowly slid his hand around to her front. He moved up her stomach, resting on her chest, where her breasts should have been. He bent his head, kissing the side of her neck and gently tugging off her wig.
“I know you hate your chest and your hair,” he whispered against her ear. “But you need to know I don’t. I think you’re beautiful. Breasts are nice to look at, but I wasn’t planning to make love to your breasts—I’m going to make love to you.”
“How can you think I’m beautiful?” she asked sadly. “I’m so… skinny and disfigured.”
“You’re slender and healing from surgery,” he responded. “I love your long legs and can’t wait to have them wrapped around me. Your lips are sweeter than sugar, and I plan to kiss them raw. Your face is stunning. You’re just… perfect, Lex, and I want you to see what I see.” He gently lifted her T-shirt. She wore a bra underneath, and he pulled it free with one hand, leaving her bare, scarred chest on display. Tears stung her eyelids but he had one arm firmly around her waist and the other running along the tattered skin.
“Zaan…”
“Shh.” He splayed his fingers across her skin and then down to her flat stomach. “All I see is this beautiful girl who gets me, who doesn’t care if I play hockey or teach physics… You’re so sexy, and by the time we’re done, you may not think the word, but you’ll feel it in your soul.”
“Do you write poetry?” she whispered, leaning back against his solid chest. “You should… the things you say are so wonderful.”
“I’ll write poetry for you,” he bent his head over her shoulder, trailing his tongue along her collarbone.
She dug her fingers into his blond hair, tugging his mouth over to hers and they kissed greedily. She rubbed herself against him, his erection throbbing against her backside, and they both moaned softly. Without hesitation, she reached back and slid her hand into his shorts, fumbling with the band of his boxers until she felt the warm heat of his erection. She closed her fingers around it and he shuddered against them.
“Bed,” he murmured, pulling her that way as he yanked off his T-shirt and tossed it aside.
“So long and thick,” she sighed, gripping him tightly as they stood next to the bed.
“I’m glad you like it.” He flicked open the button at the top of her shorts and slid them down so she could step out of them. She didn’t hesitate to slide his down the moment he was done with hers, and now the only thing separating them were her tiny panties and the thin fabric of his boxers.
“I never thought I could call a guy beautiful,” she murmured, taking in his broad chest and lean hips, “but I think you are.”
He smiled. “That’s fair, since I think you’re fucking gorgeous.” He kissed her again, their mouths working together, naked torsos pressing close. They ground their hips together, instinctively seeking out the other’s heat and arousal, until they fell onto the bed without breaking their kiss. Hands and lips moved in an almost synchronized perfection, and it wasn’t until he peeled off her panties she felt the first twinge of panic.
“I’ve never…” He hesitated, licking his lips. “I’ve never gone down on a girl before. Have you…?” His unfinished question left her shaking her head.
“I’ve never gone down on a guy and no one’s ever gone down on me.”
“You wanna try?” he asked, the fire in his eyes unmistakable.
“Oh, yes.” She was breathless with the craziest combination of desire, trepidation and arousal, the spot between her legs throbbing painfully.
He took off his boxers, watching as she crawled onto the bed and lay on her back. He kissed his way along her leg, his tongue leaving a wet line in its wake, from her ankle up to her thigh. She was gloriously sexy, with a tiny patch of light brown curls at the juncture where her thighs came together. He used his fingers to pry her folds apart, grateful to see evidence of her arousal pooling at her soft, pink entrance. He pressed a light kiss on her clit, wondering why he’d never done this before. It was hard to believe, but no other woman had driven him wild like this, made him want to try everything. But Lexi did, and he’d go as far as she wanted him to.
Without hesitation, he ran his tongue up her slit, closing his eyes so he could savor the musty taste of a woman’s sex; he fucking loved it. He’d watched enough porn and imagined doing this so many times in his head, it was natural to explore her most intimate place with his mouth. She seemed to love it too, her hips rising up to greet him greedily, anxious for more.
She reared up when he filled her with his tongue, a sound he’d never heard before escaping her. “Oh, God, please please please!” Her voice was gravelly, thick with lust and passion, her thighs quivering on either side of his head.
He moved back to her clit, circling it over and over until he finally sucked it between his lips. She whimpered, his name mingled with a whispered breath coming in shaky gasps. He’d never experienced anything so erotic and pressed his tongue inside of her again, watching in amazement as she started to come undone against his face. Her orgasm shook her from head to toe and she let out a primal scream, bucking hard, tearing at the sheets, the fingernails of one hand digging into his scalp. It was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.
When she finally stopped shaking, he slid across her, covering her body with his. She leaned up and kissed him, anxious to taste herself on his tongue—the same tongue that had just done things to her she’d never known could feel so good. She was anxious to reciprocate, but there was no doubt he was going to make love to her first. He’d reached out to grab the condom on the bed, finally breaking their kiss so he could rip it open with his teeth since one of his arms was trapped beneath her. He slipped is hand between them, rolling the condom on before pausing to look into her eyes.
“You’re sure about this, baby?”
“Yes.” She slid her arms around his neck, pulling him down so they were chest to chest, hip to hip, forehead to forehead.
He pressed the tip of his cock against her tight entrance, his eyes locked with hers as he slowly spread her nether lips apart. She arched, taking the first few inches of his length inside of her. She wanted to wait, but her body had a mind of its own and wasn’t having any of it, arching over and over until he’d completely filled her. They both moaned as he bottomed out, pleasure overwhelming her as she stretched to accommodate an unfamiliar intrusion. It was mildly uncomfortable at first, but now that he was rooted deep inside of her, heat was already building, sparking through her veins like liquid heat. She moved, rocking her hips in a desperate need to fulfill a yearning she didn’t fully recognize.
“God, you’re beautiful,” he rasped, his eyes still trained on hers.
“Thank you.” Her voice came out in a shuddery huff as he slowly pulled out and thrust deep again. He was taking his time, making her wait for each stroke of velvety pleasure. Her inner walls instinctively clenched each time he bottomed out, her world suddenly reduced to nothing but this man, this incredible stolen moment in time. For as long as she lived, she would never forget the look in his eyes as he glided in and out of her, never breaking their solid gaze or his tender embrace.
“Ah, shit, I’m sorry,” he grunted, squeezing his eyes shut as he unexpectedly climaxed. She could feel every movement as he pulsed into her, his entire body stiffening, his breath escaping in a whoosh.
She held him tighter, wanting to ride it with him just as he’d done when she’d orgasmed against his face.
“Just give me a couple minutes,” he murmured, resting his cheek against hers, “and I’ll be ready to go again.”
“Yeah?” She was surprised.
“Of course—I can go all day, baby.” Then he kissed her, and she lost herself in him once again. Though he’d already climaxed, he was still rock hard and she found herself on the verge again. She shifted restlessly, unsure what she needed from him, but anxious to find the same pleasure she’d found from his tongue.
“Easy,” he whispered, running one hand up her arm and onto her neck. “I’ll get you there.” He flipped onto his back, pulling her with him so she was on top, looking down at him with wide, startled eyes.
“I don’t…”
“Rock yourself into your happy place,” he encouraged. “I’ll follow anywhere you lead.”
“Ohhh…” Her voice was a breathy combination of wonder and anticipation as she shifted slightly, the pressure immensely different now. “Oh!”
He smiled. “That’s it, baby.”
She started to sway, closing her eyes against the intensity, the fullness, the sensuality of having his hard length as deep as it could go. She sped up, her hips moving to their own rhythm, her clit throbbing with need. Her head fell back as she bounced above him, insecurities about her body forgotten with the swell of pleasure spiraling out of control.
“Come on, baby, let go for me…” He pressed his finger to her clit, rubbing it in time to her movements, and for the second time her world crashed in around her. She was momentarily blinded, coming even harder than before, unable to stop the wealth of emotion surging through her body, her heart, her soul.
She wasn’t sure how long she continued to ride out the waves, blackness mixing with the bright spots in her mind, taking her somewhere unfamiliar but surprisingly wonderful. She was aware of someone screaming and slowly realized it had been her, her throat dry when she collapsed against him. Gentle fingers caressed her back, running over her shoulder blades, the bumps of her spine, her tailbone and then kneading her cheeks.
“You know what would be hot?” he whispered.
“Hmm?” She was still in a state of orgasm-induced bliss.
“A tattoo right there.” He ran his finger across her tailbone again.
“Of what?” she murmured.
“Something that means something to you.”
“You,” she responded automatically.
“That’s not what I meant.”
“It’s what I meant. Even if we never see each other again, you’ll always mean something special to me because yesterday you gave me back my life and today you gave me the most beautiful thing I’ve ever felt.”
“Aw, baby, that’s what you gave me too… I didn’t do anything.” He kissed the side of her face, his lips tender against her skin.
“You did. Before yesterday, I was merely existing, wondering when the next chip was going to fall, how long before something bad happened again… and then you walked into the room and told me I was beautiful.” Her eyes inexplicably filled with tears. “Even if you didn’t mean it, even if you were just being nice—you gave me something to fight for, reminded me there’s still time to live, even if the cancer comes back.”
“I wasn’t just being nice,” he whispered, his arms tightening. “I think you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen—especially now.”
She flushed, burying her face in his shoulder. “I feel like I should be embarrassed… but I can’t. It was too good to be embarrassing, too memorable to ruin.”
“If anyone should be embarrassed,” he chuckled, “it’s me. I didn’t last more than a couple minutes.”
“You spent all that time going down on me—it makes sense.”
“Thanks. I appreciate you giving me a pass.”
“You got me off twice… you earned a pass!”
His rumbled laugh warmed her and she nestled deeper.