Chapter Six
"I think I made a huge mistake!" I was sitting outside of the doctor’s office, waiting to pick up Drew from a check-up appointment.
"Aw. Is da big bad band man being difficult? Are you not giving him enough cuddles?" Rose's attempt to make me laugh with a baby voice only irked me further. When I didn’t answer, she snorted, and I could picture her rolling her eyes. "Well, did you really think this harebrained idea would be easy?"
“I didn’t think it would be this hard.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, for starters, he’s cranky because he can’t get around like he wants, and he can’t play the guitar. So, he tries to write some lyrics, but he says he’s not feeling it and stomps off.”
“I’m sure this is a very frustrating time for him. You just have to be patient with him.”
“And he’s bitchy about the physical therapy, saying it’s not helping or it hurts.”
“Sounds like someone else I know,” she said pointedly. When I ignored her, she moved on to another topic. “How is it between the two of you?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean living together again after all this time. I mean, injured or not, that man is sexy as hell. It’s got to be hard to be around that, know what it’s like, and not want to get it on.”
“Who’s getting it on with who?” I heard Justin's voice in the background.
I heard the muffled sound. "Emma and Drew.”
"Roooose!!"
"Sorry. You weren't supposed to hear that."
I rolled my eyes. My sister wasn't the most tactful. I'm not sure why I even called her with this problem.
"For what it's worth, Justin says there's no reason not to. You just have to do most of the work."
I dropped my head onto the table. "Oh, god."
"I guess the bigger question is, do you want to?"
"I don't even want to talk about this anymore."
"Why not? It's because it’s true, isn’t it?"
I didn't answer. Rose knew me well. She wasn't just my sister; she was my best friend, the one who made it her job to look after me when our parents died unexpectedly, even though we were both old enough we didn't need a guardian. She was there for me after everything happened with Drew, helping me to pick myself up and move forward.
"It's hard not to. I thought I was strong enough for this, but now..." Now being so close to him reminded me of all the reasons I’d fallen in love with him in the first place. It made it easy to forget what had been said, what I’d seen. “I’m having a tough time separating the Drew from now with the Drew from then.”
“Are you so sure they’re not the same? I mean, I know you guys had a huge fight, but you just don’t turn off feelings like that. You didn’t.”
I started to protest, but she cut me off. “Emma, you’re only lying to yourself if you say you’re over him. We wouldn’t be having this conversation if that were true. You’d kick him out on his broken ass if you didn’t truly care. I love you. I’ll be on your side no matter what. But maybe you could use this time to rebuild what you used to have.”
“Why? So he can remember, and we can fight over the same thing and break up all over again?”
“A lot can change in a year and a half. You’re a different person. Maybe he is, too. Regardless, if he remembers maybe you’ll get your chance at closure, and you can finally move on for real.”
I thought about what she said. Maybe she wasn’t so bad at offering advice. I just wasn’t so sure I wanted to move on if it meant without Drew.
I looked out to see Drew exiting the medical building. “Gotta go. Love you.” I hung up with Rose and watched as he came closer. He was limping a little more than usual, but that was normal after being on his feet for a while. I would have gone up to the doctor’s office to meet him, but I needed to create some space between us.
“How did it go?” I asked as he maneuvered carefully into the seat.
“Shitty.”
I pulled out into traffic, ignoring his attitude. “Why?”
He stared out the window, rubbing his leg. “I’m just impatient. I want to get back to playing the guitar. I want to walk without a cane. I want to be able to get around and do things on my own again.”
“Sick of me already?” I teased.
“What? No! I’m sorry. I sounded ungrateful. I’m just not used to being confined. And sometimes the therapy hurts, and it sucks, and I sound like a whiny little boy, don’t I?”
I chuckled. “Yeah. Would it help if I told you I understand?”
“No.”
“Well, I do. I was involved in an accident about a year ago. My leg was broken in three places. It was months before I could walk normally again. I started off eager to get better, but it didn’t happen soon enough. If you ask Rose, she’ll tell you I was an absolute nightmare. But, my point is I did get better, and so will you. You just have to stick it out and trust your therapists and doctors.”
He was staring at me. “You were in an accident?”
I nodded.
“Fuck.” He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the headrest. “I didn’t know. I feel like shit. I should’ve been there for you.”
“Drew, it’s fine. We weren’t together at the time. There’s no reason you should have known much less been there.”
His head rolled toward me. “I’m sorry, Emma. Sometimes I wish to hell I knew what happened because that doesn’t sound like me.”
“Your career was just taking off. You were where you needed to be.”
He looked back out the window. “Somehow, I doubt that,” he mumbled.