Chapter Nine

 

Drew

 

     My eyes are sore, and feel so puffy because I haven’t slept at all. I’ve cried all night, wishing Sketch was lying beside me, alive and healthy. I think I fell asleep in my dad’s arms in the car yesterday. I was crying so much and I can only put it down to that, and the shock. My mum and dad bought me to their house and I didn’t put up an argument as we got out the car, truthfully I’m not ready to go back to my apartment and see all of Sketch’s things just yet. Maybe tomorrow I’ll ask Maci to bring over some of his shirts for me, but I can’t step into my bedroom anytime soon. It’s too raw and honestly when I’m not crying, this doesn’t feel real! I keep expecting to get a text from him, or for him to walk through the door any second. However, life fucking sucks and I don’t want to get out of my childhood bed at all today. This is where I’m staying and I don’t want to see or talk to a single person, unless it’s Sketch but unfortunately reality sucks and that ain’t going to happen.

How am I going to live without Sketch? He’s my fucking world and he was just ripped away from me. A loud sop escapes me and I bury my head in my pillow.

There’s a knock on the door and I throw the quilt over me, hiding from whoever it is.

“Drew?” My mother’s voice comes through as she opens the door. “Are you awake?”

I groan, I used to hate it when she did this almost every morning when I was growing up. Of course I’m awake! I know my parents are worried about me, but I just want to be alone.

“I don’t want to bother you, but your father wants you to know about Miley and that she’s going to be ok.” She carefully speaks and I slowly pull down the covers to look at her.

“Is she ok?” I ask, watching my mum’s reaction to seeing how raw my eyes look. She does well, and quickly hides her shocked expression.

My mum sits on the end of my bed, looking over at me and placing her hand over mine. “She didn’t lose too much blood, and was able to be stabilized. All thanks to Sketch.” She smiles proudly.

“Why?” I eagerly ask.

“Were you not told of how Sketch saved her?” My mum asks in surprise and I shake my head in response. I don’t blame anyone for not telling me before now, I was too upset yesterday and I wouldn’t have heard a single word. My focus was Sketch. I’m still too sad to function, but I’m ready to listen to what my mother has to say.

“Tell me.” I beg her desperately.

“Miley has said that the men stormed in, and they had no time to react. Sketch didn’t have a gun on him but Doodle was able to keep them clear of danger for a certain amount of time. As Doodle and Sketch were fighting them off, Miley screamed as she fell to the floor when one of the men slashed her with his knife. Sketch ran over and stepped in to save her, but that is when Sketch was stabbed.” My mother looks down and gathers herself, but I let my tears fall freely. “He saved her Dee. You should be so proud.”

I nod, more salty tears wetting my cheeks. “I am.” And that’s the truth. Yes I wish he was alive and still with me, but if Sketch didn’t save Miley, she would most likely be dead and Sketch wouldn’t have been able to live with himself if he had let that happen. He was a born protector and she’s so fucking proud of him. He saved Miley and thanks to him, she’s still here.

“The tattoo artist, Steve I think his name is, was there too but he’s completely fine. He ushered the customers outside and told them it was a robbery.” My mum adds. “How are you doing?”

I stiffen, I was beginning to wonder how long it was going to take for her to ask.

“Sorry baby.” She sniffs. “That was a stupid question.”

“I would ask the same.” I admit. What else do you ask the person who has just lost the one they love the most?

“You want anything to eat?” She asks and I shake my head. She’s not happy about that and makes me promise to have something later. While she’s on the subject, she tells me I should have a nice long bath because it might calm me, but I know it’s really because I look a hot mess.

“Mum, just let me have today to not care, ok?” I urge her.

“Ok.” She nods, reaching over to me and smoothing my messy hair. “Call me if you need anything.”

With that, she stands from the bed and gifts me with a comforting kiss on the head and leaves me alone, not completely shutting the door behind her as she does. I jump up for a bathroom break, careful to not look at my reflection while I do and on my way back to the bed, I make sure to close my bedroom door. I curiously look over at my phone on the nightstand, it’s been switched off since I came here last night. I decide to turn it back on and I watch the screen light up but when the photo of Sketch and me pops up on the home screen, my heart starts to speed up. I stare at his gorgeous face, wishing so hard that I could see him again. The sudden pinging of my phone makes me jump as text messages come through whilst it’s been off and there’s so many that I can’t deal with it. I’m not ready for this!

In a panic, I turn it back off and lay back down in my bed. I just want to hide from reality a little bit longer.

***

Sometime in the night, I wake when my door opens and I’m expecting my mother but I’m shocked  when I turn around and see Maci standing beside my bed.

“Mace?” I ask.

“I’m sorry.” She whispers and looks back to the door, I then see Tasha, Lauren and Elise walk inside.

“What are you all doing here?”

Tasha steps forward. “You haven’t replied to any of our calls or texts.”

“We’re worried.” Lauren steps in.

With a heavy sigh I run my hands through my hair. “I just want to be alone right now.”

They all sit on my double bed and give me sympathetic looks. This is why I didn’t want to see anyone.

“We’re not leaving.” Maci orders. “We want to help you.”

Elise jumps up the bed, settling in beside me. “And don’t bother arguing because we’re here now.”

Lauren gets in on my other side, while Tasha and Maci get comfy at the bottom. There’s not a lot of space but we make room for each other. I look around at my friends, and I realise that I shouldn’t have been hiding from them. These girls always have my back and I should have let them in earlier.

“So you been in bed all day?” Tasha asks and I nod.

“I wanted to hide for a day.” I admit.

“Understandable.” Elise smiles.

“My mum told me about Miley.” I add, looking around at them all.

“Yeah, I visited her today to see how she was doing.” Lauren replies. “Her face is all cut up, but she’s doing well.”

“I want to see her.” I announce. “Sketch saved her life and I feel like I need to see her. Does that sound weird?”

“No!” They all answer, adamantly shaking their heads.

“Do you need us there?” Elise asks.

“If you can.” I accept their support.

I appreciate that they don’t ask me ‘how I’m doing?’ but as we sit on my bed, they do talk about Sketch and I love them for it. I don’t want people to think that they can’t talk about him around me. Of course I get emotional when I think about Sketch. He’s the man I love and someone took him away from me but I don’t want to live the rest of my life as if he never existed. I want to remember him every fucking day. He’s it for me and I don’t care what I promised him, I can’t move on from him. Sketch was it for me.

“You’re going to see the girl your man saved.” Maci smiles a teary smile. “That’s fucking amazing.”

“Yeah.” I nod, my voice thick with emotion.

My door opens, my parents usher in carrying goodies and my heart goes out to them.

“Here you go girls.” My mother sets a load of chocolates and sweets on the bed as my dad lowers a tray on my make-up table. He hands us all a mug of hot chocolate, complete with marshmallows and as he passes me mine, I see the tears in his eyes before he rushes away.

***

The girls stayed with me for the rest of the night, it’s amazing actually how we all managed to sleep on the bed together. We had eaten most of the goodies my parents had delivered and we fell asleep retelling stories about Sketch and I. Most of them made me cry, but we didn’t stop. The rest made me laugh and it was nice to remember Sketch as a funny bastard after crying for so long.

When I woke up this morning, squashed between Elise and Lauren, I decided on the spot that I was going to visit Miley. Lauren wanted to come with me, but I had to wait for her to go home and change first. Maci is also coming but Elise and Tasha can’t come with me, but its fine because I didn’t expect them all to stop their plans. I’m just glad I’m not going alone. My mother doesn’t want me to go, but this is something I feel that I have to do and nothing will stop me now.

It didn’t take Lauren and Maci long to change and return to mine, Maci drove us and now we’re at the hospital. A weird sensation takes over me as I think back to my last moments with Sketch here. Was that really just yesterday? I feel as though I’ve been crying for a lifetime. Maci and Lauren each take hold of one of my hands, and walk with me. Lauren knows where Miley’s room is, so she leads the three of us through bright white corridors and onto a lift, until we reach the room that holds the girl my man saved. If it wasn’t for him she wouldn’t be here, breathing. I’m not bitter about it, if anything I’m happy that in his last waking moments, Sketch did an honourable thing.

Taking a deep breath, I knock on the door and wait for an answer. When it swings open, Miley’s dad, Pauly is on the other side. As soon as he sees me, his eyes widen, quickly stepping aside.

“Come in Drew.” He ushers, informing his old lady who is here to visit. “I’m so sorry.” Are his next words and I take in a shaky breath.

“Thankyou.” I whisper, trying not to look into his eyes for too long. I fear that if I do, and see his sorrow for too long I will break and I don’t want to. Not just yet anyway.

I look over at the bed and see Miley for the first time and the shock I feel at the state of her face is unreal. I feel so much anger towards the men that did this to her, not only did they rob my man of his life but they have badly hurt Miley. We’re not the best of friends, but I know she’s sweet and it makes it so much more upsetting seeing her like this. How is this right? Treating somebody as if they’re nothing.

“Oh Miley.” I gasp, stepping closer to her bed. Lauren follows, smiling down at Miley but I can’t manage one. This is an appalling sight. Maci stands on my other side, squeezing my hand and I appreciate the support.

“I know.” She tries to smirk, but winces when the injuries to her face sting. “I didn’t even notice how bad my face was until I got here, I was too worried about-” But her sentence ends there.

“Sketch.” I finish for her.

“Yeah.” Miley nods. “I’m so sorry Drew. It’s my fault, I shouldn’t have screamed when the man hit me.” She glances down at her side and I’m assuming that’s where she was stabbed.

“No.” I shake my head. “It’s not your fault, it’s the men and they will get what’s coming to them.”

“Yes.” Miley’s dad, Pauly growls and I glace back and nod towards him and he returns his own.

Miley’s eyes begin to tear and I take in a deep breath, preparing myself to follow. “But I feel so much guilt, he’s dead because he saved my life. I should have stayed quiet and he could still be alive right now, with you.” She begins to cry into her hands and her mother comforts her. I look down at the floor, my own tears falling down my cheeks. I want to hide them from Miley because she’s already hurting so much.

“That’s not true Miley.” Lauren tries to sooth Miley.

“Could you tell me everything that happened?” I ask Miley, finally looking up and showing her my emotions. There’s no point in hiding my tears. “I need to know.”

Miley nods, her mother sits back down on the seat beside her bed. “Ok.” Miley takes a deep breath and Pauly pushes two chairs over for me and Lauren to sit on. I take my seat as Miley begins. “It all just happened so fast,” her eyes go wide as the memories haunt her. “One minute I as joking around in the front room with Sketch and Doodle, and the next was full of gunshots. At first, I thought it was a robbery, because I couldn’t even imagine what was going to happen.” Miley wipes the tears that fall onto her cheeks. “I remember Sketch and Doodle shouting at me to run, or hide but those men ran inside the shop so fast that I didn’t have time to do anything. I heard Sketch say he left his gun in his room, but Doodle has his and was protecting them both. I managed to crawl under my desk but a gunshot went right thought the wood beside me, so I thought I’d better move. When I stood up, I saw Doodle fighting off a knife attack with one man, and Sketch fighting another. I was glued to the spot, and that was my mistake.” Miley looks down at her hands, looking ashamed but I wish she wouldn’t. “That was when one of the men caught me, I can remember he laughed at me and said I would do great with the whores back at his clubhouse. When I told him I wouldn’t be seen dead with him, he reached forward and stabbed me. It was so hard that I fell onto the floor and that’s when Sketch ran over.” My heart begins to beat faster as I listen to some of Sketch’s last moments. “He stood over me, trying to help me up but that’s when the bastard who hit me, stabbed Sketch. I screamed for him, and Sketch was frozen as the knife hit again. He fell into my lap and there was blood everywhere. We were both soaked in it and I tried to stop it by placing my hands over his wounds but nothing worked. Doodle ran over, and told me he had Steve deal with the customers and that’s when I rang my dad.” Miley looks behind me, to her father and I think through what she has said, picturing how scared Sketch must have felt, lying there in a puddle of his own blood.

“I’m glad you werethere with him.” I tell Miley and she looks shocked. “He wasn’t alone.”

Miley shakes her head. “But it was my fault, you can see that now right?”

“No.” I demand, standing from my seat and standing right beside her bed. “It wasn’t your fault. Sketch came to help you, it’s who he is and if he hadn’t he wouldn’t have been able to live with himself. I’m proud that he came to help you.”

“Really?” She cries.

I nod, joining her again in crying. “Yes. It wasn’t your fault Miley, those men are to blame and Sketch wanted to help you but it’s not your fault what happened when he did. I do wish he was still here, of course I do,” I reach forward and hold onto her hand. “But he died, saving you and I’m so proud of him for it.”

Miley smiles a wet, sobbing smile and I wrap my arms around her. Leaning over the bars on her hospital bed and she does her best to wrap one of hers around me. Both Lauren and Maci are stuck by my side, comforting me. Pauly goes to answer the door as there’s a knock and I Miley go, swiping my fingers under my eyes to wipe away the new tears.

“Prez.” I hear Pauly greet and turn to see my dad walking into the room, Grim by his side and as soon as my big brothers eyes meet mine, he races over to me. Not caring who else is in the room and captures me in a great bear hug. I release a long, heavy breath I didn’t know I was holding in as I breathe him in, he smells a lot like our dad, leather and the outdoors and it helps to settle me.

Grim holds me back and his eyes search my face. “You ok Dee?”

I nod. “A little better.”

“Drew, wait for me outside while I ask Miley some questions.” My dad demands from beside Grim. I’m about to argue that I want to stay right here, when he holds a hand up in the air and Grim gently squeezes my shoulder in warning. “Don’t fight me on this princess, I know Sketch is your old man, but this is club business also. Wait for me outside.”

Knowing when to pick my battles, I say goodbye to Miley. Lauren has a few quick words with Grim, and we all leave, deciding to take a seat on one of the little benches in the corridor outside Miley’s room.

“That was real brave Drew.” Lauren comments.

“All I did was cry.” But Lauren shakes her head.

“You have just lost the man you love, you’re here talking to the girl he died saving. That is fucking brave.” Maci argues and without warning, I dive into their arms and cry. They’re big ugly sobs and I cling onto her as if my life depends on it. As I fall apart once again with the comfort from two of my closest friends, I notice something. Although I’m grieving, having support from those you love feels better than hiding in your childhood bedroom from the world. I won’t shut my friends and family out again.