Eunice
I looked out the restaurant’s large window, waiting for my friends to arrive. The streets were crowded with people, all in their own worlds. Life in New York was too fast for me now. There was a time when I enjoyed this hustle and bustle, but no longer, because that part of me died in the past couple of months. I didn’t know how to survive in this world now. I had no one left to rely on besides my long-time friend, Nora. She had been trying her best to get me to return to life, but it was difficult for me ever since that fateful day when I lost it all. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t ever forget it. Joshua’s hatred would never let me forget it. I tried to make things right with him, but my efforts only resulted in him scarring my heart even more.
My world was already destroyed, but he shredded it into even smaller pieces. I found myself slowly being pulled back to that day.
It was two months after the incident that I took the courage to clear the air between me and Joshua. I wanted us to try to get back together, back to normal. I knew it would be hard, but one of us had to try. Gathering my courage, I made my way to the office building, Crystal Workhouse, with the aim of having lunch with him in a restaurant and simply talking. Joshua was the CFO of the company. He and his friend Alex had started their own advertising firm. With time, the firm flourished, and soon they found themselves in the company of the rich. Being the CFO, he had a personal floor for himself which could only be entered with a special card that he, his secretary, myself, and other top executives owned.
Swiping the card, I made my way to his floor. I was early for lunch, but I couldn’t wait to see him. On my way up, I felt a lot better and refreshed, as if all the clouds of sadness had drifted away and new rays of sun shone brightly through the broken pieces my life. I wanted to start my life once again by letting go of the sorrow my heart held. I stared at my reflection in the mirror in front of me. I had put an effort into looking good today. My brown eyes didn’t look so lifeless. My chestnut hair and pastel white skin made my beautiful pink lips stand out. My pale features were in complete contrast to Joshua’s raven black hair and olive skin. I was dressed in my best. I wasn’t beautiful in the classical way, no flowing golden curls or ivory skin, no piercing green eyes like Joshua’s. I was shorter than average and certainly larger than a catwalk model. In one word, I was just ordinary, but Joshua at times had told me that in my ordinariness, I was stunning. As soon as the elevator opened, I averted my gaze away from the mirror, walking through the narrow hall and toward his office. His secretary, Serena, wasn’t at her desk.
“She might have gone for her lunch early,” I murmured to myself, and looked toward Joshua’s office. It was made of glass doors and walls, giving me a clear view of his desk. He was not there, and I could feel my happy mood fading, but I consoled myself by thinking that he might be in a meeting. Not knowing what to do or how long it would take for him to come back, I decided to leave a note for him on his desk.
Taking a pen and a sticky note from Serena’s table, I wrote:
Please call me when you are free. We really have to talk, and I need you.
Yours, Eunice
I took the note and walked towards his office door. I was just about to open it when I saw a movement out of the corner of my eyes at the far side of the office. I swiveled around to see what it was while standing on the other side of the door. In that moment, my world got torn into pieces. In a mere moment, my life was once again filled with dark clouds and raging thunderstorms that created havoc inside me.
The feeling of betrayal hit me so hard I couldn’t even remember how to breathe. I felt like I was stuck in a depth of darkness where there was only hurt and pain. The note in my hand got crushed into a small ball, my heart constricting in pain from the very sight of my husband making love to another woman. My heart was bleeding inside, a trail of tears falling from my wide eyes. I was scarred by the very sight in front of me. This pain I felt was beyond my limits. It felt as if this burning sensation in my chest was killing me, crushing me, and stealing away the life inside of me. How? Why? What had I done to deserve this? How could he betray me like this? Why would he do something so cruel? The lump in my throat was growing. It felt like I was choking. In that moment, I prayed for my death.
I stood there, watching the heart-breaking scene in front of me. I didn’t know how much time had passed, but it felt like I couldn’t move, like I had lost myself, like my mind had gone numb. My heart constricted at the sight of the woman who lay beneath him. I gave that woman a comfortable life to live in, got her a job, and consoled her when her world fell apart. I thought she was my friend. We weren’t close, but she was my godfather’s daughter; I had grown up with her. Wasn’t that supposed to mean something? I had trusted Anne. Two years younger than me, with her brown hair and slim figure, Anne had just become the medium of my destruction. I got her a job in this firm as a public relations assistant by begging Joshua for it, and this was how she had repaid me, with a bitter betrayal. I was torn, lost, and crushed under the weight of my husband’s infidelity and my friend’s betrayal. They both were so engrossed in each other like the world didn’t matter to them. I was completely broken to the depth of my roots.
Gathering up my courage, I made my way out of there. I couldn’t bear the sight of them. I wanted to escape this raw pain and betrayal which had broken my world into pieces so abruptly. I ran toward the elevator to get rid of this hot raging pain. I kept pushing the elevator button while a river of tears escaped my eyes.
“Come on,” I said in frustration. I wanted out of here. It felt as if the walls were closing in, threatening to crush me.
The lift opened, but it wasn’t empty. Serena stood there with dry cleaning bags in her hands. Seeing me, her eyes widened, and it was evident she knew everything. She quickly held my wrist and captured me in a comforting hug. As the doors closed, I let it all out. With great force, the tears escaped my eyes, and sobs came out. I withered from the excruciating pain inside me.
“I am sorry, ma’am. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” she slowly whispered in my ears, hesitation smothering her voice. “Please calm down, Eunice, please. Please, Eunice. Just wait till we are out of here.” She desperately handed me a tissue from her bag.
Taking the tissue, I wiped away my tears and tried to compose myself. I didn’t want the others to know about it.
“Can we walk to the park?” she asked.
I nodded, trying to stay calm and stop the tears that welled up in my eyes from flowing out. As soon as the door opened, Serena helped me out of the building while trying to act like everything was fine, and thankfully, we did not garner much attention. Soon we were outside, making our way to the nearby park.
Settling down on a bench, we sat in silence. The sight of my husband and Anne kept on playing through my mind again and again. Once more, I let the tears out. They were the proof of Joshua’s betrayal of my love. I wanted to destroy the very first thing in my sight, to crush it into tiny pieces like my heart had been. He had torn me apart in the worst way possible, broken my trust in a mere moment. He had proved to me that this love of ours wasn’t strong enough. He had played me…but for how long? How long had this act of infidelity and betrayal been going on? Had it been long before that momentous day or after? Was it always like this? Were my eyes fooled by the sparkle of love in his? Finding my voice, I gathered the courage to ask Serena.
“How long has this been going on for?” I asked without looking at her, choosing to focus on the greenery of the tree above me. I stared at the leaves like they were my world, my everything. I heard her exhale a deep sigh.
“The past few months, Eunice. There have been many women, not only Anne. My eyes and mind have been scarred by these images. I have been turned into one of those secretaries who has to clean up her boss’s dirty work. The clothes I bought were for them both. He has been burning holes in his pockets. Anne has become his usual these days. Ever since he came back to work, he’s been distant, and a month later, he started all this. I have booked him hotels in the city for his escapades with…women there. I can’t tell you how ashamed I feel, Eunice. I feel guilty for doing his dirty work. I didn’t know how to even tell you this. I didn’t have the heart to.”
I knew she was crying, but I couldn’t comfort her because I was already broken, and a broken person is no better than a dead person. I looked at her and saw guilt on her face.
“I confronted him one day about all this. Asked him how he could do this to you when you needed him. He had clearly kept me out of what has been going on with you two. He ordered me to mind my own business or he would replace me. I…Eunice, you know I need this job; this is the only way for me and my child to survive, so I shut myself up. I’m so sorry, Eunice, I’m so sorry for not letting you know,” she said between sobs.
“You have nothing to be sorry about, Serena. It wasn’t like you were sleeping with him, you just hid something that you were forced to hide,” I said while looking back up at the trees, silent tears running down my cheeks.
My life had taken an upside-down turn since that one incident.
“I know, Eunice, I should have told you; maybe you would have done something rather than having your heart broken and suffer like this. You know I was always in debt to you for treating me so well, for making sure I was comfortable with this job even though I wasn’t your responsibility. You did so much for me by giving me flexible hours and taking my place when I needed you, and this is how I repaid you—by letting you see what was happening with your own eyes. I’m sorry for all of it. I can’t even think about being with him like a lover, ever, Eunice. Never ever. I try my best to keep him busy in meetings and work so he won’t act like this, but in the end, he always finds a way. I can’t stop him from destroying your marriage and love, Eunice. I’m really sorry for not letting you know,” she apologized, as a trail of tears fell.
I knew it wasn’t her fault; she didn’t deserve to be blamed. The blame was his, but why was he doing this? Turning into a man I didn’t know? We both sat there in complete silence, the city noises surrounding us.
“What do I do now, Serena?” I asked, because I couldn’t find the ray of hope in the dark clouds surrounding me.
All I saw was pain, suffering, and sorrow in my future.
“I don’t know, Eunice. He’s changed; I don’t think confronting him would change anything. He has this cold, distant look in his eyes, like he’s lost. Maybe you should try to bring the warmth back to his eyes through your love, or wait for him to find his way back to you. If you want, you can confront him, shout at him, throw things, but I don’t know whether that would help or not, because that man you have loved so long is lost somewhere,” she said, with so much sorrow in her voice.
She was right; he was gone and lost. I had seen the coldness in his eyes telling me he was lost, but I ignored it, thinking it was normal. I wanted to try to talk to him, but every time he looked at me, there was fury and coldness in his eyes. I knew there was only one option left—to wait. Wait for him to find his way back to me, to our love, and clear out the darkness in my life…
That was five months ago, but still he hadn’t returned to me; his burning hatred had only grown. The flames of hope within me were now being extinguished. The fire that had provided me the strength to keep going was dying.
I was drawn out of my thoughts when I heard someone calling my name.
Looking up, I saw my friends waving at me. I hid my worries and pain behind a masquerade because reliving that memory of hatred had only amplified my pain. Three of my friends came in and hugged me.
“How have you been, Eunice?” Shelly asked with sympathetic eyes.
It was evident she knew about everything, there was no way it could have been hidden from her. She was Alex’s wife, Joshua’s best friend, and I knew he would have told her. Alex had called me many times to check on me. There were times when he couldn’t keep an eye on me, or I would not answer him, which would make him worry. Maybe that was why he told Shelly about the misery of my life. It was reasonable; they loved each other and shared their problems. Alex was scared that I might do something suicidal, but I had always told him I wouldn’t. I hadn’t grown that weak yet; a little flame of hope still resided in me, even after everything.
“I’ve been good. How have you all been?” I answered, plastering a smile on my face.
It was better to keep my worries and pain to myself rather than make others worry for me. I didn’t want to be a hindrance to anyone’s happiness.
“It’s been awesome!” Clarisse yelled, enthusiasm bubbling out of her.
She had always been the most energetic member of our little group of friends. She was a paid model for a fashion agency.
“Yeah, only for you. Nothing like that for me at all,” said Nora with an exhausted look.
I raised an eyebrow at her, wordlessly asking her to explain. She was my best friend, the one who had been there for me for far too long, even back before Joshua came into my life. She’d been trying her best to bring me back, but it hadn’t worked. I knew it saddened her at times, so I decided to wear a mask of happiness in front of her and others, but on the inside, I was dying and numb.
“I have been dead tired with so much work piling up. I have too many meetings every week and then too many outside the country. I am unable to get my beauty sleep.” She rested her head on my shoulder.
I patted her shoulder. “My poor baby,” I crooned while chuckling, only to have her lean into me more.
I saw Shelly smiling at me.
“Oh, shut up. It was your decision to be a lawyer. It comes with too many files and problems. You should have decided to be a model like me with luxurious pay and amenities,” Clarisse said proudly.
Nora rolled her eyes. “I’m content with what I do and I love helping others rather than dolling myself all up,” Nora retorted, batting her lashes.
They always found a way to quarrel.
“Stop it, both of you,” Shelly chided, narrowing her eyes at them. They grew quiet and slouched back in their seats.
I chuckled, before bursting into laughter. Soon the others at the table joined me. It felt good to laugh, not because I was forced to, but because I felt like it.
“You need to laugh more, Eunice. It looks good on you.” Nora smiled at me.
I smiled wide at this. However, good things didn’t stay too long in my life. As expected, my smile was wiped away as I saw the love of my life enter the restaurant with Anne. An expression of pain crossed my face. All my friends turned to see where I was focusing and saw him. As if he could feel our stares, he turned to look in our direction, only to have his eyes connect with mine.
All I could see was the burning fire of hatred towards me as well as a hint of iciness, as if he were taunting me for losing him.