Eunice
His words echoed through my mind for the rest of the day. I wish to take away every happiness from your life, Eunice, and replace it with the worst kind of pain. I wish to take your soul away and tear it apart like you have done to mine. However, I don’t know why I felt like that small little peck said something else entirely; I was scared of believing that he would love me again out of the blue. He got this intense, sick pleasure from hurting me, and I was afraid that he would lead me on so I would believe he loved me, that he had returned to being the Joshua I fell for, and in an instant, break me with his sick game of insulting me and being with other women. I had started losing hope that he would ever love me again or want to be with me, and it drove me crazy to think I had lost him. I put all my faith, love, and hope in this relationship, and to think that some incident would disintegrate it all leaving me void of all feelings. There would be nothing left for me to live for without him, and nothing would be better than ending my life. I knew I was choosing a path of pain, heartbreak, and suffering, but I just couldn’t give up on him, myself, or our love. His sick pleasure in hurting me would stop one day, and the darkness that had clouded his eyes, making him unable to see the truth, would drift away. I hoped that a bright ray of love would once again flourish in our lives, engulfing us in each other’s warmth.
However, I couldn’t let that small kiss engender much hope in me, so that when our love shattered, I would not be left with a broken heart. I was drawn from my thoughts by the car coming to a halt. Nora was there to pick me up for tonight’s charity event.
“We’re here. Cheer up a bit, Eunice,” Nora said from beside me.
I was trying, but it was too hard. I tried my best to make an excuse not to go at all, but I was forced to come or else I would lose my best friend. I didn’t want to face the people who knew about Joshua’s infidelity. Some of his old mistresses would also be there, and it would hurt me to see the look of victory and pity in their eyes. Sometimes I wished to share all of my misery with Nora, but I couldn’t imagine burdening her with my own problems. She had been trying hard to keep up with her father’s law firm. Telling her about my problems would make her upset and angry, and I knew she would ask me to leave him at that very moment, but I loved him too much to let him go. We both swiftly made our way inside after having some photographs snapped.
The night had truly just begun, but I was already feeling tired of being there. As we entered the big hall, I was greeted by the sight of the hot blonde my husband had slept with. I knew it because her photo was in the brief list of my husband’s mistresses. I hated seeing her in a revealing dress, clinging to an old man’s arm. Seeing that man, I felt sympathy for how he would feel if he knew the notoriety of his daughter’s actions. Nora saw my line of sight and handed me a drink.
“I don’t know what’s up with that old man falling for that young girl. Albert is a good client of mine. I just drew up his prenup a few months back. That red Barbie clinging to him is nothing but a bitch, I can tell you that. She married him only for his money,” Nora said and took a sip of her drink while I spit mine out in shock.
She was his wife, not his daughter.
“Are you okay?” she asked worriedly.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a bit shocked to know that she’s his wife, not daughter.” I could feel that she wanted to burst in laughter.
I asked Serena to make a list of the women with whom Joshua had slept. I knew I was on a road to betrayal and heartbreak, but I just couldn’t stop myself. She was hesitant at first, but after some begging, I convinced her to make the list. I wanted to know who to avoid. All the women who had warmed my husband’s bed were rich, spoiled brats, hookers, and women who were already known for cheating on their husbands. I still wished for a time when everything was good, when everything was lively and bright rather than dark and gloomy in our lives.
“Hey, there’s Shelly and Alex.” Nora pointed at the beautiful couple coming towards us.
They were definitely meant for each other.
“I’m glad you came, Eunice,” Shelly said, hugging me.
Her eyes always looked at me with pity. I was tired of seeing the same thing for the past five months.
“Me too,” I said while in her embrace, because I really didn’t want her to catch my lie.
“You look beautiful tonight, Eunice,” Alex said from beside her.
I could hear sadness and pity in his voice. I knew it hurt him to see all of this too. He was my good friend as well as Joshua’s. We were all in the same group of friends, and Alex was the one friend Joshua and I had in common. When my life would get messed up, I would go to Alex for advice, even though I had Nora. He was like a brother to me, but this time I couldn’t dump my problems on him. He was already facing a lot with handling Joshua and stopping him from sleeping with his employees.
“Thanks,” I said, trying to hide the sadness in my voice.
I really didn’t want to bother him when he was already trying hard enough to make sure Joshua kept it in his pants. Nora and Shelly started conversing together about some new business started by some famous woman; previously, I would have gladly joined them, but not anymore.
“So, how’s it been going?” Alex asked, looking at me pityingly.
“It’s been good, better than before, I can say,” I said, looking at anyone besides him.
In reality, everything had gotten worse rather than better.
“I sure hope so, because I have tried my best to make sure that there are only men and old women left in his department. I have transferred many employees there, and now I’m left with too many women. It’s like a circus with them all there without Shelly. I’m glad she helps me,” he said, looking adoringly at his wife.
How much would I give to have Joshua look at me like that?
“I tried my best, you know, but I couldn’t fire Anne. She has too much support from Joshua. If there weren’t a contract with her for the next six months, I would have fired her immediately when I found out what she was doing. They ignore each other most of the time at the office. I have warned her that if I found evidence showing they’re together, I won’t back away from ruining her career. I’m just tired of this game that he’s been playing for the past five months,” he said angrily.
“I think they’ll stop eventually; he’ll get tired of it. It’s all just a phase,” I said, wishing it were true.
“I think you’re right. It’s just a phase that will pass before it goes too far,” he said, looking me straight in the eyes. I could tell he knew how unlikely that was.
The rest of the evening passed with Clarisse, who joined us later with her date, and Nora. Shelly and Alex had gone to join the other couples. I wanted to say it was all fun, but it wasn’t. Many people asked me where Joshua was and I had to give excuses, because I didn’t know myself what he was doing or where he was at the moment. I was relieved when Nora said it was time to go home. I just couldn’t put up with this charade that everything was fine when my world was filled with dark clouds and thunder.
“Did you enjoy yourself?” Nora asked as we reached the street in front of my house.
“I guess so. It was a good change of scenery to see so many people. I’m glad you suggested it to me,” I said, gathering up all of my energy to pretend that I was happy.
“I’m so happy to hear that. You’ve just been so depressed ever since she was gone. I’m glad that you’re getting your life back,” she said with happiness gleaming in her eyes.
She was the sort of person who could be happy in someone else’s happiness; maybe I should have been more like her. The car soon came to a halt in front of my house. I saw Joshua’s car in the driveway, and I was glad he was home, maybe we could talk.
“Right on time, I guess. I hope he won’t have missed you too much,” she teased.
I looked away from her, not in embarrassment or shyness, but to hide my pain because I knew he wouldn’t have missed me.
“Okay, no more teasing. Have a good night with your loving hubby,” she said happily, and I exited the car fast.
It was getting hard for me to pretend in front of her for so long. I waved back at her from the front of my driveway as the car went into motion. As I walked towards the house, I felt like a heavy burden had been lifted from my shoulders. When I got inside, I felt a little uneasy. I couldn’t say why, but my heartbeat spiked a bit. It didn’t feel like coming home; I had an intuition something bad was coming, something that was going to outright wreck me.
I walked deeper into the house and came across Joshua’s clothes spread all over the living room. I bent down to pick them when I heard noise coming from upstairs. As I picked up the clothes, I found a red dress that had been hidden under my husband’s clothing. I knew what kind of sounds they were. I could feel my heartbeat hitching, and tears welled up in the corners of my eyes. A hot, painful fire burned in my heart. The voices grew louder and made it clear to me who it was. The grunts and moans of my husband and the other woman tore me apart once again. I dropped in one of the chairs because I could no longer stand. This pain felt like déjà vu from the first time I caught Joshua cheating on me. My breath was knocked out of me. The tears fell of their own accord.
“Harder, Joshua, harder,” the female voice yelled, and it sounded so familiar that I prayed to god for death.
The next few words removed the last clouds of doubt I could have had.
“I can’t hold it any longer, Anne,” Joshua groaned, and I could hear the sound of skin slapping together and the creak of the headboard filled my ears.
Silent tears escaped my eyes, and this intense pain I was suffering just grew and grew. Why was he doing this? Why?
“Just a little more baby, a little. Ahh…”
Their pleasure-induced moans filled the house while breaking my heart more and more. Someone had sliced at my heart with a blade so sharp that one strike left me with enough torment. I didn’t think I could take another. The wounds that had started to heal were reopened and death seemed preferable to living. My bleeding heart was withering from this raw pain.
As time passed, I sat there with my weeping heart, trying to find a ray of hope to hold on to. However, I couldn’t find anything besides the familiar darkness and woe. This game of Joshua’s had left me dreary and void. He was trying to push me to a place where there was nothing but my demise. Even after so much crying, tears still fell. Involuntary sobs started to escape, and I heard the sounds of shuffling.
“It was fun,” I heard Anne say.” It really made up for lunch.”
“I’m glad it did,” Joshua said.
The voices grew nearer, and as I expected, I saw both of them coming down the stairs, Joshua in his boxers, and Anne in her red lingerie, looking for their clothes. Her eyes grew wide with shock at seeing me sitting there with their clothes in front of me on the table. However, the same expression didn’t show up on Joshua’s face; there was only a cold, icy look in his eyes.
Without a word, he stomped towards me and grabbed the clothes. Handing Anne’s skimpy red dress to her, he waited for her to get dressed and zipped her up while giving her a long kiss in front of me. How could a man be so cruel to someone he loved?
“Come on, your cab is here,” he said sweetly while crushing my heart on the way. I could feel my heart being stabbed continuously.
I heard the sound of the door opening and closing. I was breaking from a point that I could never heal. I wanted relief from this torturous life.
The door once again opened and closed, marking Joshua’s return. I saw his lean body make his way upstairs.
“Couldn’t you keep your affairs outside this house? Did you have to taint this sacred house with your wicked games?” I shouted at his retreating back, making him come to a halt.
After so much I had suffered, this was the first time I was retaliating. This was the very first time I had shouted at him and let out my anger.
“This house was a sacred place where I didn’t think you would play your wicked games, but you’ve sullied it. You just had to step to a whole new level by bringing her here,” I raged at him, wanting a reaction, but nothing came.
He turned, and though I wanted a hint of emotion, I found nothing but a cold, distant exterior. His next words cut me even more deeply.
“I didn’t taint it at all. It was already ravaged by your heinous acts when you killed her. It wasn’t me who tainted this house, but a demon—a killer like you.”
His words were like a hard slap to my face. I stood there stunned and whimpering in pain while he walked upstairs, leaving me in my unbearable misery.
His words were laced with so much venom. It was the first time he’d said something like this to me, something so mean that I felt like dying. He brought her up in a way that I had never expected. He had just put me through a new level of pain, something I couldn’t escape, something that finally destroyed all my hope.