Cas
“If you want to die, don’t you fuckin’ dare put it on our brothers like that,” I growl.
“Cas,” Sparky warns.
I ignore him and pull my gun from my cut pocket.
I force Dex to hold it and keep my hand wrapped around his, so he can’t drop it.
“Or is it me you really want to shoot? I mean, it was her or me that night and you chose me.”
Using every ounce of strength I possess, I force the gun in his hand up to my head and rest it against my forehead.
“What the…Cas…stop this, now,” Sparky urges me, coming up beside us.
“No, Dex has to make up for his mistakes. He regrets killing her, he won’t feel better until I’m gone…”
“That’s not what this is,” Dex shouts.
“What the fuck is it about then?” I yell back in his face, “You vowed to protect the club, and you did. You protected me. If you can’t handle that, fucking shoot me. Get it over and done with so you can move on,” I scream until my throat burns.
The barrel of the gun digs into my skin and I feel nothing. Maybe this is how it was always meant to play out, I wasn’t meant to die that night, because I’m meant to die tonight.
“I swear to fucking god, if you two don’t stop this now, I will kill you both myself,” Sparky murmurs.
“What’s it gonna be, Dex?” I growl.
Instead of answering me, I see the moment he breaks completely. Heavy tears roll down his cheeks and his body goes limp. I let go of his hand and drop the gun to the floor.
He falls on his back and the adrenaline drains from me and I fall back against the bed.
Sparky shakes his head and slyly kicks the gun away from us.
“I need a fuckin’ drink, try not to shoot anyone while I’m gone,” he mutters, leaving us alone.
“Today, I tried to get us earning again, put us on the right path. The club is only as strong as the brothers who are the foundation, you’re a weak link, brother, and I can’t have that. I owe you my life, but I’m not going to keep babysitting you while you cry over a decision you made.”
Climbing to my feet, I’m over this.
“Give me your key for this room.”
Sitting up, he digs the key out of his pocket and passes it over.
“Decide what you want, Dex and decide soon. Until then, I’m not letting you out of here.”
Leaving him on the floor, I close the door on him and lock up. Sparky rounds the top of the stairs with a couple of beers in his hands. I take one from him and take a long pull.
It’s nowhere near strong enough for me, but I drink it regardless.
“Don’t look so worried, he’s fine. He’s having a timeout to think on what he wants.”
“Cas, that was fucked up. I don’t know who I’m more worried about, him or you.”
“Me? I’m fine.”
“Yeah, so you keep saying.”
Taking the second beer from him, I head downstairs and throw Dex’s room key on the bar.
“One of you go and sit outside Dex’s room, don’t let him out unless I say to.”
I carry on past the pool table and fall onto one of the couches. Niall has already moved on from the scene outside and is occupied with one of the club girls grinding away on his lap.
Drinking from his bottle of beer, his eyes concentrate on the girl, he watches her closely and likes what he sees.
I’m not jealous, but I remember a time where I had nothing to do but enjoy life with a beer in my hand and a woman on my lap. What the fuck is life throwing at me?
“Alannah stopped by to see Kris earlier, she looks like shit. Is everything okay?”
I roll my head to the side and Slade is now sitting beside me.
“I don’t know.”
It’s the truth and I can’t be assed to keep up pretences anymore.
Looking at my brother, I realise he’s the only one out of him, Sparky and me that grew up with a mom.
“What was it like having a mom at home when you were a kid?” I ask, taking him by surprise.
“I’ve never thought about it, it was what it was,” he shrugs.
“What’s it like as an adult? Do you need her for anything?”
It’s not like he needs to depend on her at his age.
“You could answer that question yourself if you got to know your mom,” he throws back at me.
“I’m too old for that now.”
“Not that I’m a mumma’s boy, but you’re never too old for a mom.”
“You’re such a mumma’s boy,” Sparky throws at Slade as he catches the end of the conversation joining us.
“Did you hear what happened out front not that long ago?” Sparky asks Slade.
He shakes his head, “I just got here, I stopped by my place on the way home.”
“Dex tried to shoot himself, not that I think he would’ve done it. I think he needs more of our help after Melissa.”
“So, he’s okay, and alive?”
“For now, Cas has him locked in his room for the time being.”
“What the hell is happening around here lately?” Slade murmurs.
Sparky looks to me and I look away.
I can’t handle his input.
I’m doing shit the way I think it should be done.