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Blind Kiss by Carlino, Renée (38)

38. Two Months Later

PENNY

I found out about Gavin’s marriage via text and spent the next month drifting through my life. I bought college stuff for Milo—sheets, a shower caddy, an alarm clock, etc.—and imagined Gavin and Briel’s wedding whenever I was alone: Briel in white, her belly swollen the way mine had been fifteen years ago; Gavin in black, exchanging vows in a French civil ceremony without a single friend or family member on his side.

A month later, I texted Lance.

Me: I’m taking Milo to MIT in three weeks if you want to join.

Lance: I’m slammed at work. I’m so sorry. But we need to talk before he leaves. I’d like us to have a family dinner on Sunday. Can we do that?

Me: Sure, just let me know when and where and we’ll be there.

Lance: Sounds good. I’ll keep you posted.

It’s amazing what a positive effect divorce can have on a couple’s ability to communicate clearly.

I texted Kiki and my mom next.

Me: We’re having a small party for Milo before we take him to MIT. I’ll keep you posted.

A minute later, Kiki was calling. “Hello?” I said.

“Penny. I need to tell you something.”

“What? Spit it out.”

“I told Douche-face—”

“No more names, Keeks; that’s Milo’s dad.”

“Listen, I promised I would let him tell you, but I don’t want you to be shocked.”

“What?!” I shouted impatiently.

“He was going to tell you and Milo over dinner. He has a girlfriend. I ran into them at the movies.”

“Really?” I said quietly.

“Yes, a doctor. She’s one of his clients.”

“Is she pretty?”

Kiki paused for too long. “Never mind,” I said. “Good for him.”

“I’m sorry, Penny. I told him to just tell you over the phone, that you don’t like being put into uncomfortable situations.”

“You’re right, Keeks; thank you. I’m going to call him now.”

“Don’t tell him—”

“It doesn’t matter anymore anyway.”

I called him and told him I knew, and that the family dinner was unnecessary. He seemed relieved that he didn’t have to tell me himself. He also admitted that it was early, but that he had known her for a while. I held it together. And then I called my mom.

“Mom,” I said. Suddenly, I was crying.

She came straight over. I told her about Gavin getting married and Lance’s new girlfriend.

Hugging and rocking me from side to side, she said, “Life will change and change again. You just have to find a port in this storm. It doesn’t have to be another person, Penny. Find something just for you.”

Weeks later, I texted Gavin that I’d dropped Milo off at MIT. Instead of responding to me, he called Milo directly.

I CAME BACK from Boston to Fort Collins to an eerily quiet house—and a package on my doorstep. Inside was a set of keys and a letter. I recognized Gavin’s handwriting immediately.

Dear Penny,

This felt too personal for texting. Inside, you’ll find a birth announcement. Elodie Adela Berninger came into this world screaming bloody murder, but thankfully she was a perfectly healthy eight pounds four ounces. She’s beautiful, Penny. I wanted you to be her godmother but Briel fought me on it until I finally gave up. I’m sorry. In my heart you’re her godmother—please know that.

The keys belong to the four retail spaces located in the strip mall where your old ballet studio was. I bought the building and added your name next to mine on the deed. I had a hefty chunk of cash after selling the garage, and I needed to reinvest it.

If you wouldn’t mind helping me manage the property, it’s all yours, rent-free. Fort Collins will be lucky to have you teaching dance to their daughters.

I’m sorry I’ve been distant. Things have been rough here. Let’s talk soon.

Love, Gavin

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