28. Three Months Ago
GAVIN
After meeting up with my aunt and letting her have whatever she wanted from my dad’s house, I headed over to see Lance. It was dusk and I could see lights on inside the house, so I knew he was home.
When I knocked on the door, I noticed it was slightly ajar. I could see him sitting on the couch in the living room at the end of the hall. I walked into the foyer slowly, trying to gauge his mood.
“Gavin,” he said when I reached the living room.
“Lance.”
He was wearing suit pants and a dress shirt, sans tie, the top two buttons open. There were dark circles under his eyes. He looked wrecked. Holding up his glass, he said, “Drink?”
“No, thanks.”
“So, you gonna tell me where the fuck my wife and son are?”
“Can I sit down and talk to you first, man to man?”
He gestured toward a chair opposite the couch.
I sat down and was silent for a moment before saying, “Kiki took Milo to Anne’s for a few days. He doesn’t know anything, just that Penny’s taking a trip. She’s going to stay at my apartment in Denver.”
His eyebrows shot up and his hand curled into a fist on his knee.
“Not with me,” I said in a hurry. “I’m staying at my dad’s . . . with my girlfriend.” That last part wasn’t entirely true.
“So this mystery girlfriend—”
“Briel.”
I knew he wasn’t interested in hearing about Briel so we sat in silence until he spoke again. “What does Penny need to go to Denver for?”
“She’s going to get away for a few days to think. I can’t say more than that. You guys should probably talk.”
He tilted his cup back, swallowed the rest of the brown liquid, walked over to the counter, and poured more whiskey. When he sat back down, he said, “Some time, huh? To think?”
“She loves you, Lance.”
“Does she?”
“You know she does. And she’s always been loyal to you.”
He smiled as if he thought what I said was so horribly funny. “You call your ‘friendship’ evidence of Penny being loyal to me?”
I blinked.
“She and I are friends. We’ve always been friends.”
“Friends that fall asleep on each other. I saw you two—”
“You mean the night my dad died?”
He shrugged.
I never got a single word of sympathy from Lance over my father’s death. His damn ego had gotten in the way.
“Yeah, we fell asleep on the couch together. We were exhausted.”
“I don’t want to hear anymore, Gavin. Get out of my house.”
I stood up and then sat back down. “No. I came here to say one thing. It’s not me, no matter what you think. It’s not me. But if that’s the way you feel, if you think Penny will be happier . . . that your marriage will be better, I’ll get out of her life. You’ll never see me again.”
He tensed up but didn’t argue.
“She and I are friends. But I’m willing to throw it all away for her happiness and safety, because that’s how much I fucking love her, okay? But are you willing to make some sacrifices, too?”
“Maybe.”
“Because I think if you were, you’d get your happy wife back. She’s the most loving and forgiving person I’ve ever known.”
“I know,” he said, his voice cracking. “The problem is that she doesn’t leave much for me. She spreads herself too thin.”
“I know that’s not true because outside of caring for you and Milo, there’s not much else going on in her life. And even if that were a little bit true, I’d take anything she was willing to give to me, if I were you. I’ve always wished for that myself.”
“I know. That’s the problem. She probably wishes for the same.”
“I don’t know, Lance. She’s a mess right now. You guys have to work your stuff out first.”
He didn’t respond. I got up without saying anything more.
THE NEXT DAY, I met Briel in Denver for lunch and told her what was going on with Penny.
“Why is it your business?” she asked.
“It just is. She’s my best friend.”
Briel frowned over her glass of wine. “Wow. I always thought Penny and Lance had perfect love,” she said in her thick French accent.
“Far from it.”
“Do you have love for her?”
“Don’t be like that. Penny is like family to me.” Briel was quiet after that. I think she didn’t want to come across as jealous. It was still early enough in our relationship that every word mattered, and every date was a tone-setter. We had both agreed that we would keep things casual, but I could already see her straining against that.
After lunch, I told her I had to run by my apartment to pick up more clothes, although a part of me just wanted to check in on Penny to see how she was holding up. Afterward, Briel and I would head back to my dad’s house in Fort Collins and make dinner together.
Briel waited in the car as I jogged up the stairs. When I walked into my apartment, I noticed all the blinds were closed and it was quiet and cold. Where was Ling, or Penny for that matter? I went into my room and saw the lump of her body in my bed, covered from head to toe.
I stood there, thinking about what I should do.