Millie
By the time I went down for breakfast, the morning after the storm, Bonnie was already clearing away dishes.
“Morning,” I said on a yawn. “Have the guys gone out already?”
“Yeah,” she sighed. “They needed to check the fences. Ted said he thinks all the cattle are okay; the boys managed to locate them all and get them to the run in shed that’s out there on slightly higher ground.”
“Well, that’s something,” I replied, pouring myself some cereal. “How was Jesse this morning?”
Bonnie shrugged. “No idea, he’d already gone by the time we got up this morning, and Ted and Garratt were gone by five.”
“But they didn’t get in until midnight last night.”
“The life of a rancher, honey. Anyway, it won’t hurt Garratt to be busy from morning ‘til night; will keep him out of trouble,” she said with a chuckle.
“And Addy?”
“Still sleeping. She looks so tiny in that big bed of Jesse’s.” Bonnie’s brow furrowed and she suddenly looked lost in thought.
“What’s wrong, what’s worrying you?”
She startled and then sat down in the chair opposite to me. “It struck me the bed only looked slept in on one side, but there was a blanket thrown over the chair in there.”
“You think Jesse slept in the chair?”
“Yes, honey, I do. Which means that he’s still hurting.” Bonnie leaned her elbows on the table. “He hasn’t slept in that bed since Melody passed.”
My heart lurched. Somewhere in the back of my stupid mind I thought that maybe he had feelings for me; after what we’d done. Evidently, I was nothing more to him than Angie. If he still couldn’t face sleeping in his marital bed then I wasn’t the one to help him forget. But why should he have feelings for me? Aside from giving me an orgasm, basically to shut me up, he’d barely had a pleasant word to say to me. There was no doubt that he thought that I was attractive, his hard on had been evidence of that, and the fact that he thought Dean was an idiot for dumping me, but there was nothing more to it. I had to accept that and get over this stupid infatuation.
“They were high school sweethearts weren’t they?” I asked.
“Yes they were. Although, I always thought that Melody would move away; never saw her as a rancher’s wife, what she’d do I had no idea seeing as she didn’t go to college. But, she worked here with me and then she got pregnant. Jesse was adamant that they get married. Ted and I didn’t care whether they were married or not, times have changed from when we were youngsters, but it was what they wanted. Well in hindsight, I think it was what Jesse wanted. Not so sure about Melody.”
Bonnie was the second person to talk about Melody in less than glowing terms. Maybe she wasn’t as perfect as Jesse evidently thought she was. A burning sensation needled in my chest and I almost gasped with shock; I was jealous of a dead woman.
“She changed after she had Addy,” Bonnie continued, bringing me back to the conversation.
“Garratt said.”
Bonnie laughed. “That’s not surprising. She and Garratt didn’t get along, that was another thing that changed after she had Addy. Before that they’d been thick as thieves, but as soon as she started spending time away from the ranch, from Jesse and Addy, Garratt took a disliking to her.”
“Do you think he had a crush on her?” I asked, it suddenly occurring to me.
“Garratt? No, honey. He loved his brother, that’s what Garratt’s problem was. Don’t get me wrong, when Garratt was a lot younger and Melody first started dating Jesse I think Garratt thought she was cute, but nothing more.”
“Was she a good mother?” I asked, looking down at the table and tracing the chequered pattern of the cloth with my finger.
Questions were running around in my head and I just couldn’t help but vocalise them. I needed to know about the woman that still had Jesse’s heart.
“I don’t like to speak ill of the dead, but she wasn’t the best, honey, no. Jesse was the one who did everything when he was home. Melody would say it was so he got to bond with the baby, too, but that didn’t explain why I was the one caring for her when Jesse wasn’t around. Let’s just say Melody wasn’t the most hardworking of girls, when she worked with me she was more of a hindrance at times.”
I let out a long, slow breath, a sense of relief settling on me because Melody definitely wasn’t as perfect as Jesse thought.
“Yet Jesse worshipped her,” I said aloud.
“Yes, Jesse worshipped her.” Bonnie looked sad, almost heart-broken, and something flashed across her eyes – a memory maybe.
“Do you think he’ll ever move on?” I asked, not daring to look at Bonnie’s face. “I mean, I know you found him with the woman from town, but he may decide he wants something more stable one day.”
“I don’t know,” she sighed. “All I know is my boy is still hung up on that girl and, while he’s finally let Addy in, I think it will be a long time coming before he lets a woman into his heart. I know he has other women, but I’m not sure he’s ready for anything more serious.”
I nodded my understanding at her unintentional words of warning and felt my hopes sink. It was exactly what I thought and so having any faith in him having feelings for me was hopeless. I’d been stupid to let myself fall for him in the first place, especially so soon after Dean, and so the sooner I got over my crush the better.
In the afternoon, Addy and I were outside feeding apples to a horse that had suddenly appeared in the paddock opposite the house. Bonnie informed me that Wyatt McKenzie, a neighbor – if you can call six miles away a neighbor – had dropped it off earlier while Addy and I had been in the office doing some children’s quizzes on the internet. It was a beautiful, lithe, chestnut mare and, according to Bonnie, it had the temper of the devil when anyone sat on its back. Jesse was going to take a few days off from the cattle to break it in for the owner. I couldn’t understand what the problem was, she was perfectly gentle as she took the half an apple from Addy’s outstretched palm.
“Hey, ladies.” Brandon came over and leaned against the fence with us. “You havin’ fun?”
“Hey, Uncle Brandon,” Addy cried excitedly. “Daddy is going to make her better so that she lets people ride her.”
“So I believe. Maybe he’ll let you ride her when she’s ready.”
Addy’s eyes widened. “You think so?”
“Well that’s up to your daddy, honey,” he laughed.
Addy sighed and turned back to the horse, resigned to the fact that she wouldn’t be riding her.
“I should have kept my mouth shut. She’ll be haranguing him until his ears bleed to let her ride it.” Brandon smiled at Addy and patted her head.
“She’s certainly insistent. So, what are you doing here, I thought you’d all be busy after last night?” I reached over to Addy and pulled gently on her waist. “Don’t lean too far over, sweetie. We don’t want you falling.”
“Okay,” she replied and pulled back slightly.
“I was out until four this mornin’ with one of the other guys, just scoutin’ around checking that there wasn’t major damage, or that we hadn’t missed any of the herd. You know it can be hard to count properly when they’re all shiftin’ around because they’re spooked.”
“It sounds like it was one hell of a night,” I sighed.
“Yep, sure was. But to be honest, Millie, talking about last night ain’t what I’m here for.” Brandon looked down at his foot that was propped on the bottom rail of the fence. “I was wonderin’ whether you fancied coming to Rowdy’s with me tonight.”
I took a step back in surprise. “Oh, erm, well I don’t know,” I blustered. “I…”
Brandon started to laugh. “Millie, it’s few drinks in a bar, I ain’t asking you to marry me, sweetheart.”
I looked up at his handsome face and straight white teeth that had definitely had work done on them, and thought, ‘why not?’ Jesse wasn’t interested and I couldn’t spend every single minute of my year here, solely on the ranch
“Okay, Brandon, that would be lovely, thank you.”
“That’s great,” he replied with a grin. “I’ll pick you up at seven-thirty, is that okay?”
I nodded. “Sounds good. See you then.”
Addy suddenly started to giggle.
“What’s tickled your fancy pants, little miss?” Brandon asked, giving Addy a playful poke in her side.
“Do you love Millie, Uncle Brandon?”
“Addy!” I exclaimed.
“But you’re going on a date. That means you’re going to be kissing and that means that you love one another.”
God, if only love was that simple. Based on the orgasm he gave me, I’d be engaged to Jesse if that was the case.
“A gentleman never kisses a girl on the first date,” Brandon replied to Addy as he slipped his Stetson on. “Remember that when a stinky boy takes you on a date, Addy.”
“I will,” she sighed.
“See you later, Millie.” Brandon winked at me and then walked away.
As Addy and I stayed with the horse for a little while longer, I couldn’t help but wish it was Jesse who had said those words.