Millie
“Addy, sweetie,” I cried, time for lunch.
Bonnie smiled at me as she placed a plate of sandwiches down on the table. “You okay, honey?” she asked. “You seem a little preoccupied these last few days.”
Preoccupied wasn’t what I would call it. I’d say I was embarrassed, mortified, guilt ridden, and extremely horny. I was feeling all of those things, after only five minutes against the wall of the barn with Jesse. The orgasm had been spectacular but once that and the aftershocks had worn off, I realized that I’d made a huge mistake. Anyone could have seen us, we weren’t exactly hidden from view. My stomach lurched at the thought of Addy and Garratt coming back and catching us, or even Bonnie. The consequences would have been enormous, especially for Addy who had already seen her father in a compromising position, and that hadn’t ended prettily.
“Oh, I’m fine,” I sighed. “Just a little homesick, I think.”
“You can call your momma anytime from the house phone you know. You don’t have to keep using your cell.”
I placed a hand on Bonnie’s arm and gave it a gently squeeze. “Thank you, but honestly it’s not a problem.”
“Well so long as you know, honey.”
Addy came careering into the kitchen, her breath heavy with excitement. “Granma, Daddy’s coming, Daddy’s coming.”
“He is?” Bonnie asked with a deep frown.
She leaned to look around the shelving that separated the lounge from the kitchen just as we heard the door slam shut.
“Hey, Jesse,” she said cautiously. “You okay?”
“Hey, Mom.”
As Jesse passed behind me, my skin tingled and every hair on my body seemed to stand to attention, as images of what he’d done to me flitted through my brain. Trying to regulate my breathing, I pulled out a chair at the table. Once I was seated, I took a sandwich and put it on my plate and turned my eyes in the direction of Bonnie and Jesse.
“I’m sorry, okay,” he said quietly leaning forward and kissing Bonnie on the cheek.
Bonnie nodded and moved to sit next to me and my gaze followed her son. Jesse looked down at Addy who was staring up at him adoringly; he noticed me staring and held my gaze for a beat, his face giving nothing away.
“Hey, Addy,” he said, looking back at her.
“Hey, Daddy,” she squeaked in a quiet voice.
“Just wanted to say sorry to you too. I shouldn’t have shouted at you like that; you did nothing wrong. It was all me.”
“That’s okay, Daddy,” she replied gleefully. “We can be friends again.”
Jesse’s eyes brightened and he laid a hand on top of her head. “You sit down at the table now and eat some lunch with Granma.”
I inhaled sharply, noting that my name had been omitted.
“Excuse me,” I said on a cough. “Went down the wrong way.” I reached for the jug of water and filled my glass, taking a long drink.
“You could stay, too, couldn’t he Granma?” Addy suggested, tugging on Jesse’s hand.
As I banged my glass down on the table, Jesse’s eyes darted to mine, and then just as quickly went back to Addy.
“I’m sorry, Addy, I have lots of work to do. We’re ear tagging the calves today, I just wanted to come over and say sorry before I ride out again.”
Addy let out a sigh and flopped down onto a chair. “Okay, Daddy.”
Jesse rubbed the back of his neck and looked up at the ceiling. “I have an idea,” he said on a heavy breath. “How about I come over for dinner tonight?”
Addy sat up straight and beamed a huge smile. “You will?”
“Yeah, I will.”
“Millie,” Addy squealed. “Daddy’s coming for dinner.”
“I know sweetie, I heard. That’s great, maybe you can read him some of your new book that Uncle Garratt bought for you when you went into town for ice cream.”
I couldn’t help the dig, I felt like being mean. Garratt had spoiled her rotten the day before and Jesse thought one dinner would put everything right; the sad part about that was for Addy, that’s all it would take as far as Jesse was concerned. Plus, he was treating me as though I was invisible – well I hadn’t been when he wanted his damn hands on me.
“Yeah, well, great for Uncle Garratt,” Jesse muttered under his breath.
“Jesse!” Bonnie scolded. “No more.”
Jesse’s eyes darted to Addy and then back to his mother. “I’ll see you later. What time’s dinner?”
“The usual, six-thirty,” Bonnie replied, but the words not vocalized were, ‘you’d know if you came more often’.
“Catch you later,” Jesse replied and then quickly left.
By six-fifty, Jesse still hadn’t arrived for dinner and Addy was refusing to eat hers until he got there. Ted had tried calling Jesse on his phone, but he hadn’t answered.
“Addy,” Ted said in a commanding tone. “Eat your mac and cheese, now. It’s going cold.”
“But Grandpa, Daddy’s coming and if we all eat up he’ll have no one to eat with when he gets here.”
“If he gets here,” Garratt muttered.
“Addy, sweetie,” I said, ignoring Garratt’s remark. “Your grandpa is right, your dinner is going cold. You can always eat your dessert when Daddy gets here.”
“Can I, Grandpa?” she asked, narrowing her eyes.
“Yes, sweetie pie, you can. Now eat up that nice meal that Granma made.”
With that she started to scoop up her mac and cheese with her spoon.
We had all finished and there was still no Jesse, but Addy was refusing to move from the table. She sat, with her dessert in front of her, elbows on the table and face in hands, waiting.
“She needs to have a bath and go to bed soon,” Bonnie whispered as we watched Addy from the lounge. “He’s not going to come.”
“I’ll go and find him,” Ted hissed, slamming his newspaper and reading glasses down on to the arm of the recliner.
“I’ll go!” Garratt said.
The worry was etched on Bonnie’s face; she knew that if either of them went there was likely to be another argument, or worse, another punch up.
“No, I’ll go.” I stood up on shaky legs and smoothed my cotton sun dress down. I wasn’t really sure that I felt brave enough to speak to Jesse alone, but I would for Addy and Bonnie. “He can’t be far away, and if he’s not in his cabin, I’ll ask one of the hands where he is.”
“No way,” Garratt stormed. “You’re not going over there.”
“Garratt’s right, honey,” Bonnie added. “Those boys are good men, but I don’t want you over there alone.”
“I promise I won’t go to the bunk house then, but let me go and see if I can find Jesse.” I had no idea why I was offering to do this. The thought of facing him, alone, after what had happened spiked my nerves, but the need to look after Addy’s heart was greater than the need to protect my own.
As I rounded the corner to the bunk house, I could hear raucous laughter and shouting. Light was coming through the windows, but the blinds were pulled down, so the shafts of light were all I could see from inside. As a resounding ‘fuck you’ bellowed out, I quickly walked past and decided that everyone was right and I wouldn’t go looking for Jesse in there. I had almost reached the door to his cabin, that was attached to the back of the bunk house, when it was swung open and Jesse came rushing out.
“Millie,” he gasped. “What are you doing here? Something happened?”
“Apart from you daughter refusing to leave the table until you come and eat your dinner, no.”
“I had a cow caught in some fencing,” he replied, continuing towards me. “I couldn’t leave it there just so Addy had someone to eat dinner with.”
As he stormed past me I let out a growl. “You’re unbelievable,” I cried and actually stamped my foot.
Jesse stopped and turned back to face me. “Like I said, I couldn’t just leave it there.”
“I know that, but this was about more than Addy having someone to eat dinner with and you know it. It was eating dinner with you that mattered, after what happened the other day, she needed this, Jesse.”
“I have fucking work to do, I can’t help that.”
“You could have called her.”
“My damn battery was dead and I forgot to take a radio. Besides, I was a bit busy cutting a fucking valuable cow free of barbed wire. And what the fuck are you doin’, wandering around here at night on your own?”
“This isn’t about me, it’s about you and Addy,” I practically screamed, my frustration with him hitting world record levels.
“Fucking point taken then, now if you don’t mind I was on my way to the house.”
It was only then that I took the time to look at him properly. He hadn’t even showered and was still dirty with the grime of the day.
“Go then,” I replied petulantly.
“You first. I ain’t lettin’ you wander around here any longer. There’s four men in there and a couple of them haven’t had a woman in weeks, so as much as I trust them with my cattle and my life, can’t say as I’d trust them with you too much. Now move it.”
“You’re one bossy cowboy, you know that?” I huffed as I walked past him; with a little added hip swing I should add.
“I ain’t a cowboy, I’m a rancher,” he snapped as he started to follow me.
“What’s the difference?”
“Nothing, I just prefer to be called a rancher. I don’t just run cows, I work with horses too, when I have time. Now, are you finished talking?”
I looked over my shoulder and frowned. “So sorry your Royal Rancher, I’ll shut up shall I?”
“Yep,” he growled. “That’d be good.”
And so I did as we walked back to the house in complete silence. I say complete, but I huffed and tutted a lot.
As we walked through the door, I could hear Addy in the kitchen, practically screaming at her grandmother.
“No! I want to see Daddy, he promised me.”
“Well he’s isn’t coming, and you need to have a bath. Please Addy, I do not have the energy to argue with you tonight.”
“No!”
Addy’s high pitched squeal almost shattered my eardrums, so goodness knew how Bonnie felt.
“Adeline!” Jesse barked as he stalked towards the kitchen. “What the hell is going on?”
There was complete silence apart from the ticking of the white, wooden Grandmother clock next to the front door.
“I asked you a question, Addy,” Jesse said in a commanding voice not unlike his father’s.
“I wanted to wait for you, Daddy. I didn’t eat my dessert so we could eat together.”
I stood behind Bonnie and watched as Jesse took a step towards his daughter. His face was impassive but strangely, his body was more relaxed than I’d ever seen it during my month on the ranch.
“Okay, you will eat your dessert while I eat my dinner, but first you apologize to your Granma. Then when we’ve eaten, you go straight to bed, okay?”
Addy nodded and then turned to Bonnie with a huge smile on her face. “I’m sorry, Granma, but I told you he’d come.”
I could see Bonnie was torn between calling Jesse out for being late and overriding her decision to send Addy to bed, or getting down on her knees to thank him for calming Addy down. She didn’t choose either and nodded at Addy.
“Thank you for apologizing, Addy, but tomorrow Grandpa will not be taking you on a horse ride as he promised.”
Jesse turned to look at his mother and opened his mouth to speak. Bonnie straightened her shoulders, daring him to object to his daughter possibly going on a horse. Jesse evidently thought better of it and turned back to Addy.
“But he promised,” Addy objected.
“No, Addy,” Bonnie said sternly. “I understand why you were upset, but I will not tolerate screaming and shouting like that from you, so your punishment is no horse ride. Do I make myself clear?”
Addy looked at Jesse who shook his head.
“Yes, Granma.”
“Okay. Jesse, your dinner is in the refrigerator, you’ll need to warm it up.”
“Sure, Momma,” Jesse replied. “Addy, sit properly in your seat and tell me what you did today.”
Bonnie and I moved out of the kitchen and came face to face with Garratt and Ted.
“He came,” Garratt whispered.
I nodded. “He had a cow caught in some fencing, he’s not even showered yet.”
Ted let out a long exhale and smiled. “I think we should leave them to it,” he said. “I’ve lit the fire pit on the deck. Let’s go out there for a while.”
Silently we all followed Ted and left Addy and Jesse to eat and talk about their day.