My heart rate is through the roof and the tears won’t stop long enough to see him clearly. I never in a million years expected him to propose now. I mean, we haven’t been together that long, and while I know that he’s the one for me in every way, I can’t think.
“Liam,” I say and he wipes the tears from my eyes. “Are you sure?”
I don’t want him to do this out of some sense of obligation because we’re having a baby. There’s not a doubt that I love him and want to be his wife, but I know in grief you can do things impulsively. I want to marry him when he’s sure that this is what he’s ready for.
“I’ve never been more sure of anything. I love you, Natalie. I love you more than I can ever tell you. I want to hold you, wipe your tears, kiss you, console you, watch you smile, make love to you every day and every night. I know I don’t have a ring—”
“Yes,” I say before he can say another word. “Yes, I want to be your wife. I don’t need a ring . . . I just need you.”
Liam stands and takes me into his arms. He kisses me with tears spilling between the two of us. He holds my face and looks at his mother who rests peacefully. “She said yes, Mom.”
Liam’s dad enters a few seconds later and walks to the end of the bed. “Dad, I’d like to tell you that Natalie and I are getting married and she’s having our baby. I told Mom as well.”
His father smiles and his lip quivers. He looks at his wife and my chest aches. You can see how badly he wants to share this moment. I extract myself from Liam’s arms and walk to his father. He opens his arms and I embrace him.
“I’m so happy, but so sad at the same time,” he murmurs. “She would’ve loved you.”
I nod understanding exactly what he means. When I held Aarabelle for the first time when we thought Aaron was dead, I wasn’t sure if smiling was okay. I remember feeling the utter despair of being without him in that moment but also elation that she was here. His happiness is clouded by his agony. The thing about grief is it comes in many forms and there’s no right or wrong way.
“I’m sure I would’ve loved her as well. But her memory will be cherished. I promise our child will know the woman she was and how much she would’ve loved them.” I vow this and I will live up to that. She was clearly loved and a wonderful woman.
We spend the next few hours in Shannon’s room talking to her and telling her stories about Liam and Aarabelle. Aidan smiles and laughs when I tell him about Liam’s diaper issues. He tells me stories about Liam as a kid and how he was always into some kind of trouble.
“The worst was when he got into sticking things up his nose,” he chuckles and Liam groans.
“Really?”
“Oh, yeah . . . anything he could find. Shannon always wondered when he sneezed what might come out. He was always talking my Kristine into doing something too. She would get stuck and Liam would pretend he knew nothing.” Aidan gets lost in his memories. “I remember one time coming home from work and Shannon was baking a cake for a neighbor. She loved to do things for the other women on the block. She was always helping someone and bringing them food . . . anyway, she was busy, and Liam and Kristine were supposed to stay in the yard. Liam told Krissy that Shannon said it was okay for her to go to their friend’s house. I came home and asked her where Kristine was and she panicked. Liam of course claimed Krissy said she didn’t care that she wasn’t allowed to go . . .”
I look at Liam, who for the first time since we arrived has a little life in his eyes. He smiles and shakes his head. “I think you exaggerate that, Dad. I was a good boy.”
He gives one throaty cough-laugh. “I think you’re mistaken, son. You were always doing something to get your sister in trouble.”
“And she always believed me.”
“She loved you,” he murmurs. “Now I’ll lose both my girls.” Aidan looks at his wife and sighs.
“I know the pain you’re feeling. It won’t ever go away. But one day it won’t hurt so bad.” I take his hand in mine. “It won’t be so hard to breathe. It won’t feel like the world is crushing you. One day that will come and it just gets a little easier each day.” I give him the small amount of hope I have. “I know right now that seems like a lie, but I’ve walked in your shoes.”
“Thank you, Natalie. My son is very lucky.” His other hand covers mine. “I had a great love with Shannon. I always prayed my children would find something like I was blessed to have. I only wish she could see that Liam has.”
“I wish she could too,” I reply.
“This is home.” Liam extends his hand forward, and I walk through the door. After spending a few more hours at the hospital, Aidan demanded I get some rest and care for the baby he already loves.
We offered to stay in a hotel, but he would hear nothing of it, and since he refuses to leave her side so there’s no point in us giving him space. The house is just as I imagined based on what Liam described. It’s an old, brick house with cute, white awnings. The front door is old oak and inside is immaculate. Everything is clean and homey. This is the home you want to spend Sunday dinners at.
“It’s exactly like I pictured.”
“What does that mean?” he grins.
“Just it’s a home. I grew up on a farm in Arkansas, so I’m sure you have this idea of what it looks like. I always pictured you living on a quaint street with green lawns and plastic on the couches.” I laugh and then Liam lifts me into his arms. “Put me down.”
“Off your feet. I’ll show you around.”
“I can walk, Liam.”
He leans closer and presses his lips against me. “Let me take care of you. I need to hold you.”
I understand his need to care for something. When your world is falling apart, sometimes you need something to hold on to. He needs to feel grounded and in control of one aspect of his life.
“You make it really hard to say no.”
“I’m counting on that.”
I lightly slap his chest and he begins the tour. We find our way through the house. I admire how beautiful her taste is. She’s classic with a touch of modern. The kitchen was recently redone, and you can tell that’s the heart of the home. Everything is labeled and in its place. It’s exactly the type of home where you’d expect Martha Stewart to come out at any moment.
Liam climbs the stairs laughing about how he’s having flashbacks of basic training carrying a log. He gets another slap for that.
“This is my room.” He opens the door, and I refrain from busting out laughing. It’s covered in old posters and photos.
“Wow, this is something else,” I say as he still refuses to put me down.
“Zip it.”
“Is this Yasmine Bleeth? Like from Baywatch?” I can’t stop the hysterical giggles that follow.
“She was hot,” he defends and puts me on my feet.
“Will I find old Playboys under your mattress?” I mock him and lift the side up. Before I can get it high enough to see, his hands come around the front of me.
“I’d rather look at my fiancée.”
“Liam,” I chide. “We’re at your parents’ house.”
“They already told you I don’t follow rules well. Besides,” his gruff voice drops as his mouth glides across my ear. “You’re already pregnant. I think they know.”
His tongue runs the rim of my ear and I shiver. “I’ve missed you,” I say as my hand reaches up and wraps around his neck. I hold him against me as I feel his erection press against my ass.
“I need you, Lee. I need you so fucking bad. Are we allowed?”
I nod as his hand comes around my front and presses gently against my stomach. He slowly moves his fingers up and groans as he takes my breast in his hand. “So much better . . .” I trail off as he touches me.
Liam spins me and then lifts my shirt off. He stares at me as his eyes worship me. I decide to take the lead on this. I reach behind me and remove my bra. My breasts fall heavy as his pupils dilate.
I unbutton my jeans and slide them down. He licks his lips as I hook my fingers into my black lace underwear. I begin to slide them lower but decide I need to toy with him a little. I step closer, and his eyes close and his head falls back as I cup his dick. “I think you’re overdressed, my future husband.”
“Say it again.”
“Overdressed.” I know this isn’t what he wants, but I want to control his mind. I want all that he thinks about is us, even if just for a few minutes.
Liam’s thumb presses on my chin and lifts my head. “Not that, sweetheart.”
“My,” I bring his other hand to my lips and place a kiss on his palm, “Future,” another kiss but this time on his thumb, “Husband,” the final kiss is on his ring finger where we will be bonded.
He moans and holds my face between his hands. A moment later, his mouth is on mine. Liam controls the kiss. Our mouths stay connected as he devours me. His control is barely hanging on by a thread. Any moment it will fray and he’ll obliterate me. I push my tongue against his as we both savor each other. It’s been so long. Too long since he’s touched me. I pull at him and we’re flush against each other. My body burns for him and moisture pools in my core.
Liam removes his hands slowly and his touch becomes a caress. The passion is still present, but it’s as if he’s found himself again. “Get on the bed,” he commands.
As he walks to the door to close it, I sprawl out and wait for him. His eyes burn with an intensity I’ve never seen. Our gazes stay locked as he stalks me, and I yearn for him. Once he reaches the edge of the bed, I’m nearly panting. “What are you going to do with me now that I’m here?”
Liam unbuttons his pants and removes them along with his underwear. His cock juts out and my eyes flutter. “I’m going to show you just how attentive your future husband will be.”
He kneels at the end of the bed and pulls my underwear down. “After I watched you touch yourself, all I could do was replay it in my mind each night. To see you come apart just from the sound of my voice . . . was fucking heaven. So now, I’m going to see how many times I can replay it live.”
I rest on my elbows with a grin. “I’m thinking you should put your money where your mouth is . . .”
“How about my mouth goes here?” he leans down and licks my center. My head falls back and he does it again. “Or maybe here?” Liam says as his tongue circles my clit.
“Oh,” I moan in sheer bliss.
“Hmm, maybe you’d like me to do this?” he questions as his tongue presses against my entrance. I quake beneath him as he continues to set a pattern. Sweat forms and I start to climb. Between the hormones, and the fact that it’s Liam, I can’t hold off long.
“Liam,” I croak out his name as I start to head toward the precipice.
He inserts a finger then begins to suck on my clit and I fall over it. I sink into the bed as he keeps going. Liam extracts every morsel of my orgasm possible. His tongue doesn’t leave my body as he trails up to my stomach. He stays there for a few moments as I come down.
“I’m going to love watching you grow with my child. There will never be anything sexier than knowing you’re holding a life we created.” I open my eyes as his lips turn up. “We’re okay to do this?”
“Yes, I promise we’re okay.” I press my fingers against the scruff on his face. The feel of it is like home to me.
He hovers over me not putting any weight on me, and I fight the urge to laugh. “Liam, we can make love.”
“What if I hurt the baby?”
“Hurt the baby how?”
“I mean, what if I poke it in the head?”
I begin to laugh hysterically and have to cover my mouth. “You’re ridiculous.”
“I’m serious! I’m well-endowed, you know . . . it could happen.”
“Okay, I love you, so I’m going to pretend you’re kidding.”
“I’m not!”
Oh, for the love of God. He really has no clue.
“You’re not going to poke the baby. First of all, the baby isn’t anywhere near my canal. But secondly, it’s not possible. We’re fine. You and your giant penis will not cause any harm to the baby.”
“Yeah, well, if it comes out dented, I’m telling the kid it’s your fault.”
I giggle while rolling my eyes. After we both stop laughing, I turn serious. “Deal. Now, make love to me. I need you.”
He tilts closer and kisses me slowly and carefully. I feel him press inside of me and I sigh into his mouth. Everything feels more intense. Each stroke and thrust is ripping me apart in the best way.
“Fuck. You feel so incredible.” Liam keeps his weight off of me but isn’t gentle as he plunges deeper and deeper. But it’s not far enough. I want to feel him everywhere.
“Let me get on top.” I push him back and he turns us easily.
I close my eyes and sink down on his length. Liam’s voice rasps as he tries to form words, but nothing is coherent. “Lee, fuck. God. You.”
His hands hold my hips as he guides me to his pace. I feel the orgasm start to take shape again. It grows stronger with each brush of my clit and the feel of his cock inside me.
“I can’t,” I say aloud as the smell of sex and sweat fills the room.
“You can. Give me everything.”
I close my eyes and Liam reaches between us and presses his thumb against my clit. I can’t hold back. I come with such intensity I swear I black out. Liam grunts a few times and follows me over.
I lie against his chest listening to his heartbeat. After a few minutes of coming down from our incredible high, I go and clean myself. When I come back into his room, he’s on his back staring at the ceiling.
He turns on his side as I climb in bed with him. “Hi,” he says sounding forlorn.
“Hi.”
“I think tomorrow is when they’ll take her off the life support.”
Liam wraps his arm around me and rubs my back. “I wish I had some magic words to make this easy. There’s nothing that will ease this but time. And I’ll be by your side every step. You’ll never be alone.” He kisses my forehead and I nestle into his chest. “I thought I lost you.”
“It’s going to take a lot more than some idiots to keep me from coming home to you.”
I look up and he pushes my hair back. “It’s a fear I’m always going to struggle with.”
“And I’ll try to ease it, but no matter what, I’ll fight ‘till the end.”
“That’s all we can do.”
“Well, and love each other,” Liam says, trying to lighten the mood.
“Good thing we’ve got that down.”
“How about I make sure one more time?”
I smile and push him onto his back. “By all means . . . we should be sure.”
“I think it’s time. She wouldn’t want this,” Aidan says to the doctor. Liam and I stand on one side of her bed, waiting for what’s to come.
“Okay, Mr. Dempsey. I’ll give you each some time to say your goodbyes, and then we’ll be back to start the process.” He looks at all of us and no one speaks.
Aidan looks at his wife and then Liam. “I’ll give you time first. I need a few minutes before I do this.”
Liam looks lost. He gazes back and forth at his parents and my chest squeezes. Our fingers tangle and he stares at me. I’m not sure what to do, but I know that just holding his hand could help.
After a few moments, Liam lets go and heads to his mother’s side.
“I can remember as a kid people talking about their moms and how they hated them. Do you know there was never a time I felt that way? I never hated you because there was never a reason for it. You were the mother people wish for. Yeah, you called me to the carpet, but I deserved it.” Liam’s voice is reverent as he speaks of her. “I don’t think I ever told you how much you meant to me. I wish I had more time with you, Mom. I never thought you wouldn’t be around. You’ll never hold our baby or just be there to tell me to stop being stupid. What’s Dad going to do? We’re not a family without you.”
Liam takes a break then walks toward the window. He discreetly tries to remove the tears that are falling. This wrecks me, watching him handle his grief. The pain that he feels I want to carry for him. Be the rock he needs and heal him like he did for me.
I walk over to him and place my hand on his back.
“I can’t say goodbye to her. I can’t tell her it’s okay to die,” he says defiantly.
“You love her and she loved you. You don’t have to say goodbye.”
“She’s going to die the minute the machines stop.”
“And she’ll be surrounded by the two men in her life that she loves.”
“My father is going to die alongside her, Lee. He’s been with her since they were fifteen.”
Their love story mimicked part of my own, but I won’t say that. I want to point out that he’ll be okay just as I was, but I don’t. There will be a part of his father that won’t ever recover. A young love that stands the test of time isn’t something he’ll ever find again. He might not ever love again, but he’ll survive.
“Then you be the son you are. You remind him why he has to carry on. You give him the strength he’ll need . . . just like you did for me. There’s no one I know that’s as strong as you.”
“She was.” Liam looks over at his mother again and heads toward her. He takes her delicate hand in his and kisses the top of it. “I’m going to miss you. I hope you find Kristine in heaven and tell her I loved her. Tell her how she’d be an aunt to two little girls. Hold her in your arms and know that you’ll be in my heart. I was blessed to have you as a mother.” Liam puts her hand down and leans in. He gently presses his lips to the top of her head and then let’s out a deep sob.
I rush to his side and pull him into my arms. He holds me close and takes a few deep breaths.
“I’m here,” is all I can say to him. There are no words that will comfort him, and I’m not stupid enough to try. I offer him my love and my heart.
Aidan walks in a few moments later and looks at his wife. “I’ve said my goodbyes to you, Shannon. And we will meet again, my love.” He stands tall and almost ready. The Dempsey men stare at each other for a second before he speaks again. “Will you pray with me?”
We all gather around her bed and Liam’s father grabs my hand. I take Liam’s and they each grab Shannon’s. Linked together, we stand, and Aidan begins to speak. “Today, I’ll say goodbye to the only woman I’ve ever loved. We’ve lived a good life together. Had two children and learned that life isn’t always fair. It isn’t fair that Shannon will be taken from us so soon. It isn’t fair that she’ll never see the life that will come.” His words are shaky as emotion begins to take him. “But I trust that you’ll hold my love in your hands. You’ll take her pain away and reunite her with part of her heart that was lost. I pray you’ll keep her protected until I can make it to her. I’ll be there soon, my angel.”
Aidan releases my hand, but Liam won’t drop my other.
My stomach starts to clench and my hand automatically flies to it. Liam reacts instantly and sits me in the chair. “Please, stay off your feet.”
“It was just a small cramp,” I try to reassure him. It wasn’t even nearly as bad as the last time. I called Dr. Contreras yesterday and she explained the cramping would be normal and try to take it easy.
The doctor enters and explains what’s to come. We gather around as the doctors and nurses start the process. Liam sits in the chair with me in his lap. Aidan holds Shannon’s hand and refuses to let go. They work around him and he nods as they turn off the final machine. Thankfully, they turn the sound off on the heart monitor. Aidan tilts down and whispers in her ear with tears floating in his eyes. He speaks continuously until her heart stops beating.
He kisses her lips, lays her hand down on the bed, and walks out of the room.
I stand and Liam follows his father. I look out the window and see him pull him into his arms and keep his father from sinking to the ground.