Chapter Sixteen
Holly
I bumped into Andrea in the bathroom, and the two of us were so tipsy that we dissolved into giggles for absolutely no reason.
“Stop making me laugh. I have to pee. Wait for me,” I said as I ran into the bathroom. When I got out, I thought that she had left, but she called out to say she’d be out in a second.
“Wow. I have been holding that in for ages,” she said. “So, looks like you’re having a nice time with Xavier. Dang, I forgot how good looking he was.”
“Tell me about it. But it’s not like that. I don’t see him in that way.”
“Why not? He’s beautiful.”
I chuckled. “He is. But he’s like a brother to me.”
“From the way he’s been looking at you all night I’m not sure if he feels the same way.”
I blushed. “What do you mean?”
“He looks at you like he wants to eat you.”
“Andrea! No, he doesn’t.”
“He does. I swear. Anyway, are you having a good time? I’m sorry I haven’t spent much time with you.”
“I’m having a great time. I haven’t danced like that in ages. I forgot how good it feels to just let go. I wish I did this more often. Thanks for asking me out. And I don’t mind at all. You look like you’re having a great time too. I didn’t know you were into Kenny.”
“I’m not. But . . . oh, he’s just so much fun. I’m not used to being around guys like him. I always go for the serious types. But he’s just a ball of fun. And what you see is what you get. I like that. It's refreshing!”
“Yeah, that’s what Xavier said about him. He said he’s a bit of a player, but he doesn’t mess girls around. You’ll know what you’re getting with him.”
“It’s a welcome change, and I’m just here to have a good time. Listen, uh, do you think Xavier will mind taking you home?”
My eyes widened. “Andrea Damon! Are you telling me that you’re ditching me to go home with Kenny?”
“Only if you don’t mind. Otherwise, I don’t mind staying. Or else we can just drop you off on the way. Oh no. I sound bad, don’t I? Maybe I shouldn’t.”
I laughed. “I’m just kidding. I don’t mind at all. I’m sure Xavier won’t mind either. I’m on his way home. And you have every right to have a bit of fun. You deserve it after everything you have been through.”
She gave me a big hug. “Thanks, my friend. Next time we’ll go out just the two of us and talk boys all night. But right now I’m going to lap that Kenny boy up for what he’s worth. Enjoy Xavier. Trust me; he thinks you’re hot.”
I blushed and waved her away. I threw some water over my face and gulped down a glass of water. I was feeling very tipsy, but it was a pleasant sensation. Did Xavier really think I was hot? No, surely not. He didn’t think of me that way. I had always found him attractive, but he’d always considered me like a little sister that he needed to protect. Was that why he had spent so much time with me tonight? Because he wanted to protect me? Because he felt sorry for me?
I walked unsteadily back to the bar and saw him sitting there. He smiled when he saw me.
“Hey, you,” he said. His voice was low and husky, and I felt it run through me.
I shivered. “Hey, you. Listen, I was thinking, if you want to go out and mingle, you must. Don’t feel like you have to sit and talk to me all night. I just realized that I’m probably stopping you from going out there and meeting girls. I have seen many girls look your way.”
He laughed and seemed genuinely surprised. “What? Why would I want to do that? I happen to be having a very good night with you.”
I chuckled. “Well, so am I, actually. Oh, uh, I hope you don’t mind, but I sort of need a ride back home.”
“A ride? What happened to Andrea? Actually, what happened to Kenny?” he said and looked around.
“She left with him.”
He rolled his eyes. “Seriously? Wow, that guy gets girls easily. And he’s been bugging me to go out with him for months, and now that I do, he spends his whole evening chasing after your friend. He didn’t even tell me.”
“You don’t really seem mad, though.”
“I’m not. That’s Kenny for you. It’s very hard to be mad at him. Did I tell you that he arrived at work without pants on the other day?”
I giggled. “What? What do you mean? How do you forget your pants?”
“Oh, you do when you’re Kenny. He slept over at some girl’s place and then couldn’t find them in the morning. She was probably sleeping on them, but he didn’t want to wake her up.”
“That’s hilarious. So he just came to work without them?”
“He sure did. I think we’re going to be laughing at that one for a very long time to come. He’s always making us laugh. No wonder he gets the girls so easily.”
“You keep saying that, but I’m almost certain that you can get girls just as easily. I have a feeling that you could just walk right up to one of the girls in the bar and get them to come home with you.”
“Should I try?” he asked.
I felt immediately disappointed. So he was just going to ditch me for a dare?
“Uh, yeah. Go ahead,” I said and forced myself to smile.
He looked around the room as if trying to find his target. Then he looked back at me and grinned.
“Holly, will you come home with me?”
I giggled. “Why, Xavier Aarons, I thought you’d never ask.”
I thought he was joking so when he stood up to leave, I looked at him in confusion. “Oh, are you being serious?” I said.
“I’m shocked that you didn’t take my proposal seriously. Yes, I’m serious,” he said. He looked at me with such intensity that I froze on the spot. Then he smiled. “I’m driving so I can’t really drink anything more here. But I do have wine at home.”
I smiled. “Then let’s take the party to your house.”
We joked around in the car and conversation continued to flow, but it seemed a little bit more stilted than usual. I was feeling nervous about going back to his place, and Andrea’s words kept floating in front of me. He looks at you like he wants to eat you. I kept throwing glances his way and wondering if Andrea had been right. But surely not. He didn’t like me. Not like that at least. I was Little Holly, the girl that always needed saving from the bullies. He was just protective of me. Like a brother.
We got back to his place, and he immediately went to pour each of us a glass of wine. I sat back on the sofa and smiled at him.
“I had no idea that you weren’t drinking tonight. I must look so drunk to you. You must know that I’m not usually like this. I don’t really drink, to be honest. But this has been nice. To let loose. And at least I can say that I went back to a guy's place at the end of the night, even if it’s only just to yours. Nobody needs to know that part.”
He looked slightly hurt by my words.
“And what exactly is wrong with coming back to my place?”
“Oh, I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just . . . . well, you know . . . we’re . . . oh hell, I don’t know what we are. It’s . . . .”
“Holly, can I ask you a question?”
“You can ask me anything. I’m drunk enough to answer honestly,” I said and giggled nervously.
He sat up and pulled me towards him. We’d been sitting close together all night, but now that I was actually in his arms, I felt his warmth against me and smiled. It was nice. Too nice. He took my glass from me and put it on the table next to his and pulled me even closer.
“Holly,” he whispered. “What do you think of me? Like really think of me?”
“I think you’re beautiful,” I said without hesitation. Then I chuckled and tried to take it back, but it was too late. I sighed. “I think you’re amazing, Xavier. I’ve always thought that. It doesn’t help that you’ve gotten even better looking over the years.”
He looked at me. “Are you serious? Or are you just kidding with me?”
“I’m serious. I’ve never been more serious about anything in my whole life. You’re wonderful. And I hate that I think of you in that way. And I’m totally going to regret admitting that to you.”
“Holly,” he started, but instead of finishing, he just pulled me closer and kissed me.
I didn’t pull away. His lips were soft against mine, his breath hot. I breathed him in as we kissed and allowed myself to immerse myself fully into him. I had never wanted anyone more in my whole life. His hands were on me now, and I moved in closer, sinking into his embracing arms. He moaned, and I moaned back. Then I suddenly realized what we were doing, and I pulled away in one quick motion.
“Shit. What am I doing? I’m so sorry,” I said.
“Don’t say sorry. I’m to blame.”
“You . . . you wanted to do that too?” I said in surprise.
“Are you kidding me, Holly? I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you like that since you got back. Shit. Do you think this is wrong?”
I sighed. “I don’t know. I think so. My dad would be so mad. I . . . I don’t think we should do this, Xavier.” I couldn’t believe the words had just come out my mouth. I’d been thinking about being with Xavier for years, and now that it was actually happening, I was the one pulling away from him. I could kick myself. I hoped I wouldn’t regret my decision. Maybe I could just kiss him some more, or maybe going a little further wouldn’t harm? But no, I couldn’t; even kissing him would lead to more. I just knew. And I was far too drunk to stop myself. I eyed the glass of wine and decided not to drink anymore. Xavier saw me looking. He got up, took the glasses of wine, and poured it down the drain.
“Okay, I understand. We have a lot of history you and me. I don’t want to mess that up. But . . . want to still sleep over?”
“Yeah, I’d like that, actually. Only if you make me breakfast in the morning.”
He grinned. “Now that I can do.”
“I’ll sleep here. This sofa is actually surprisingly comfortable.”
“No way. You’ll sleep on the bed,” he insisted.
“I don’t know Xavier. I better not.”
“I won’t try anything with you. I promise. Just come and sleep with me. It will be nice to have you there.”
I thought about it and then smiled. “Okay.”
“But I have to admit, Holly, you sure can kiss.”
I chuckled. “Yeah, same with you. Your skills don’t just end at firefighting, I see.” I knew that I would be dreaming of that kiss for days to come.
“Thanks for still sleeping over, Holly. I promise you I won’t let it go any further.”
A part of me hoped that he wouldn’t keep his promise.