Chapter Twenty-Two
Holly
I didn’t want to go with my father to the back to school festival. I knew that Xavier would be there. My father had already told me that the entire community gets involved and that the fire department was always a big hit with the kids.
“Everyone wants to be a fireman when they grow up,” my father said fondly.
I didn’t blame them. Who wouldn’t want to be like Xavier? I felt nervous at the thought of seeing him again, especially because I hadn’t talked to him since the last time we’d been together. I hadn’t intended to ignore him for so long, but the longer I left it, the harder it was to speak to him. What could I say? Was I supposed to tell him that I was in love with him? Was that even true? Or was I just lusting after him? Was it both? I’d never been more confused about anything in my whole life. I’d always had a thing for him, but I’d never allowed myself to really think about it as anything more than a little crush. It had always felt too wrong to me to give it too much thought. The last thing I had ever expected to happen was for my fantasy to come to life. I had never in my wildest dreams believed that Xavier would want to be with me too. Now that it had actually happened I didn’t know what to do with myself. My head was spinning.
As expected, Xavier was at the festival with Kenny. I spotted them way before my father did, but I pretended to be busy with other things. I inwardly groaned when my father saw him.
“Oh, look, there’s Xavier. I was hoping he would be here. Come on, let’s go and say hello.”
“Don’t you want me to stay here for you?” I said.
“Nah, let’s go together. I want to show you around anyway. It’s so nice to have you here with me this year.”
I forced a smile and followed my father over to the fire station stand. I said hello to Xavier and tried not to look him in the eye. I was sure that Kenny knew something too because he kept giving me funny looks. Eventually, I pretended that my phone was ringing and walked away as if I had to take the call. I just couldn’t take it anymore. The more I looked at him, the more I wanted him, and the guiltier I felt about it.
My father walked up to me a little later.
“Everything okay with you and Xavier?” he asked.
“Uh, yeah, everything is fine. Why do you ask?”
“You just seemed a bit nervous around him, which isn’t like you. I thought the two of you were always such good friends. He’s a great brother to you.”
My father was looking at me strangely, in a way that was making me very uncomfortable. He didn’t often refer to Xavier as my brother, and I wondered why he was doing it now. Was he onto us? Was it obvious? Had someone told him? A million thoughts were running through my mind. I tried my best to not look panicked. I was never very good at hiding my emotions, though.
“He certainly is. Sorry about running off like that. I just had to take a call, and then I figured I might as well take a walk around and see what was happening. I thought maybe someone could use my help. I assumed Xavier was going to be very busy. I remembered you said his stall was always very popular.”
“Yeah. It is. They do a great job those boys. So, I bumped into Stephanie on the way over,” my father started.
I felt my cheeks begin to burn. Stephanie was the woman from the church that had bumped into Xavier and I the other night. I should’ve known that she was the sort of woman that would go around telling people that she had seen us. The people of the church and the community were great people, but they also loved to gossip. They could turn any small story into something big and unnecessary.
“Oh yeah, I saw her the other night,” I said quickly. “That night Xavier took me out for dinner on this motorcycle. He took me for a slow ride around town, and as we stopped to stretch our legs, she drove past. Nice lady,” I said.
“Oh, uh, yes, that’s what she said. She seemed to think it was very strange that you were hanging around the football field at night. She said it looked like the two of you were on some sort of romantic night out.”
I laughed. “Romantic? Are you kidding me? He’s my brother,” I said even though I regretted saying the words. Saying that to my father was not helping my case but I also desperately wanted to appease him.
He seemed relieved. “That’s what I said. I guess it’s because she saw you on his bike. You know what she’s like. Anyway, she’s into gossiping, isn’t she?”
I chuckled. “She sure is. Nothing better to do.”
“Anyway, speaking of things romantic. Have you thought any more about going on a date with Ryan?”
“Ryan? Who is that?”
“Ryan! Theresa’s son. Remember?”
I pulled a face. “What? Since when do you want me to go on a date with him? I thought you said he was full of himself. You said you didn’t want me to date a guy that was so into himself. Didn’t you?”
“I did say that. But she keeps asking, and I fear she may never give up. Anyway, maybe we have the guy all wrong. I don’t want to just assume he’s one way when maybe he’s not. Maybe we should give the guy a chance.”
My father wanted me to go out with a guy that was full of himself? I knew the real reason even if he didn’t say it out loud. He wanted me to get away from Xavier. He wanted to make sure that no more rumors about us were spread about town. He wanted to keep his reputation intact. I suppose I couldn’t blame him, and I felt terrible for putting him in this position.
“Maybe you’re right, Dad,” I said. “Maybe I should give him a chance.”
“Wonderful!” my dad said. He seemed delighted. “That’s great. Well, I’ll see what I can do. Okay, I have a few people I need to talk to. You’re welcome to just enjoy the day.”
“You don’t need me for anything?”
“Not for now. I’m mostly here just to show my face, to be honest. So take a walk and have a good time.”
He was in a much better mood after what I had told him. This meant he would rather have me go out with someone he didn’t even like than me go out with Xavier. That said all I needed to know about what he would say if he ever happened to find out about us. I took a walk around and eventually went over to the lake to take a step away from it all. I was starting to feel a little claustrophobic from all the people and all the fake smiles I had to give them. I got to the lake and was surprised to find Xavier sitting there too. He didn’t see me at first, and I almost walked away, but then he turned to me and smiled. My heart skipped a beat at the sight of him. He was by far the most gorgeous man I had ever seen in my entire life.
“Hi,” he said almost shyly.
I walked up to him and sat down on the bench next to him. “Hi. What are you doing here?”
“I’m on a break. I felt like a bit of a breather. It’s a nice day out, but it can get a bit much. How about you?”
“Yeah, exactly the same reason. I feel like I’m smiling too much. My face is hurting.”
He laughed. “I know that feeling. So, I see you ran away from me when you first arrived. What’s going on?”
I sighed. “I’m sorry, Xavier. I’m just so confused. Did you know Stephanie went to tell my dad that the two of us looked romantic the other night when she drove past us?”
His eyes widened. “Are you serious? What the hell is wrong with her? Does she not realize that she’s just going to cause problems by saying things like that?”
“You know how these people like to gossip. I don’t think she meant it with malicious intent, but she just can’t help herself.”
“So what did you say?”
“I said that Stephanie is crazy.”
“Yeah, it wasn’t romantic at all,” he said, and when I looked at him, he was grinning at me.
I chuckled. “Worst night of my life.”
“Are you okay?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. Like I said. I’m confused. I don’t want my father to know what happened. Maybe we need to back off for a little bit.”
“Is that really what you want? Do you want to stop seeing me?”
I laughed. “What do you think I want?”
“I honestly have no idea, Holly. You haven’t spoken to me all week.”
I shot him a guilty look. “I’m sorry. Of course I don’t want to stop seeing you. I’ve missed you every single night. I’ve thought about you every damn day. I wasn’t going to tell you that, but I can’t help myself. It’s how I feel. I want to do that all over again, but at the same time, I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“That’s good to know,” he said.
“Is it?”
“It is. Listen, why don’t you get away with me tonight?”
I turned to look at him in surprise. “What do you mean?”
“I’m working this whole weekend. Chief’s rules and all that. But Silas is playing at a dive bar in the next town tonight, and I’d like to go and support him. I know that he won’t have many people there because it’s not in his home town. So I thought it would be nice to go. Why don’t you come with me? Just one more night with me. After that, we can part ways and never speak of it again.”
“One night? What about my father?” I asked. How was I going to get away with something like this after my father had already voiced his suspicions with me?
“What about him? We’re going to support Silas. That’s all.”
“Well . . .” I said. I could feel that my face was flushed. There was no way that I could say no to him. It was only easy to ignore him when he wasn’t sitting right next to me. I felt far too excited at the thought of another night with him. Maybe he was right. Maybe we just needed to get it all out of our system. We probably wouldn’t be able to rest until we did that. I’d have to assure my father that this was nothing more than brotherly support. But I could do that. He would believe me. Anyway, I had already promised that I would consider going out with Ryan. I would have to remind him of that.
I nodded. “Okay. One night. Then we part ways.”
He smiled at me in a way that made me think it wouldn’t be so easy. I was sure that after another night with him I wouldn’t be able to just walk away. But at that moment I didn’t care. All I wanted was for the day to finish up so that we could be together.
“To support Silas,” I said.
He smiled. “Of course. To support Silas. I’ll get you this evening. And don’t worry, Holly; everything is going to be fine.”