Chapter Twenty-One
Beast
Turning wasn’t an option. My body was frozen, so when Jay got close, right behind me, and then slowly—so fuckin’ slowly—he shifted forward and touched his warm lips to my shoulder, I didn’t move a muscle. I was the taller out of us, and usually I didn’t notice it. But I did then.
My breath stalled in my lungs as he looked up into my eyes. He pulled back, smiled, and then walked around the bed, my gaze following him the whole way.
Holy fuck.
Was I imagining this shit?
I blinked slowly, and yet he was still there, only he’d come to a stop on the other side of the bed.
Motherfuck.
He placed the baby monitor down, one I hadn’t even noticed he’d carried in, and tugged his tee from his body, throwing it to the floor, all while watching me and smiling. Next, I gulped hard as his hands went to his jeans and he undid the button.
I wasn’t dreaming. It was in fact happenin’; Jay was gettin’ undressed like he was gonna slip inside my bed.
Fuck, like we did it all the time.
My lungs filled with much-needed oxygen and I faced him on the other side of the bed as he slid his zipper down and hooked in his thumbs to drag his jeans down his legs.
What are you doing? I demanded.
He ignored my question, kicked off his jeans, pulled off his socks and then, fuckin’ then, he pulled back my blankets on my bed and slipped right on in to lie on his back with his arms up, so his hands went behind his head. He stared up at me, still goddamn smiling.
What. Are. You. Doing? I signed slowly.
“Thought we could make out for a while.”
My eyes grew wide. I coughed, rubbed a palm across my chest because my heart was going crazy and I willed my dick to stay down.
“Or we could snuggle. I’m pretty good at it.” He winked.
Fuckin’ winked.
Where had this man come from?
He wasn’t like the one who ran from the hotel room.
Shakin’ my head, I pulled a brow up and asked. Are you high?
I watched as he closed his eyes and laughed. His whole body shook with it, and Jesus Christ, seeing his body in my bed near naked… what a sight.
After his laughter had faded, I told him with my hands. We can’t do this. I’m tired and—
His hand came up. “Hold up. Why can’t we do this? And I did mention snugglin’.”
Jay. I groaned and scratched at my chin. You don’t know what you want. I don’t understand what’s changed, but this shit messin’ with me won’t cut it.
He sat up, leanin’ his back against the headboard and his expression changed from teasin’ to annoyed. “I ain’t messin’ with you. Fuck, do you know the strength I used to even walk in this room? I wouldn’t be in here if I was foolin’ around.” He ran a frustrated hand over his head. I dropped my tee to the floor and fisted my hands at my sides. He was right on one point; he wouldn’t have come in here if he wasn’t serious.
Only what did he want?
A kiss?
A thrill for the night?
Tell me straight out what you want, and I’ll see if I can give it.
Hell, I wanted to grin when I caught him swallow hard in his throat. His eyes flicked all around the room as he fought with what he wanted to say.
His mouth moved around some curse words. Then he threw the covers off him, and I knew he was gonna walk outta that room. My gut sank. Shit, I should be used to watchin’ him walk away.
Only he didn’t.
Turning, I faced him as he stopped just in front of me. He shrugged, his head tilted to the side, and he gave me a timid smile. “A kiss.”
You want a kiss?
“Yes.”
Why?
He rolled his head back to look at the ceiling and then straightened to glare at me. “Fuck’s sake. Just goddamn kiss me, you prick.”
Pissed Knife was comin’ out to play.
I just don’t—
He threw his hand out to point down low. I glanced there to see the outline of my erection behind my jeans and then quickly looked up to Jay. “At least a part of you ain’t fuckin’ questioning everything.”
You don’t get—
“Fuck it,” he bit out and glared.
His hands came to my shoulders and he roughly pulled me in. Our chests collided. I didn’t get time to take anything in because Jay’s lips landed on mine. They stayed there still. I opened my eyes to see what in the hell he was doing, and I saw his expression was screwed up in confusion, only it quickly changed and relaxed. He shifted, his mouth moulding more to mine.
Screw this.
My heart raced, my blood pumped, and I fuckin’ wanted to see how he would react when I let go.
I wound my arms around him, one at his waist the other at the back of his head. I saw and felt his smile against my lips before I closed my eyes and invaded his mouth with my tongue.
His was eager and swirled quickly around mine only to pull back, so I gave chase. I wanted to taste him more and was rewarded with another swirl and swipe of his tongue.
Fuck.
Christ.
This was Jay.
Knife.
I had him in my arms, and I was goddamn kissin’ him.
If it wouldn’t have seemed like I was the biggest pussy out there, I would have cried. I’d been in love with the man for-fuckin’-ever and finally, and bloody finally, I had him where I wanted him, and he’d been the one to choose to come to me.
He came to me. I had the proof in my arms.
Pullin’ away, only because I needed to catch my breath, I couldn’t look at him. Without lettin’ go, because I wasn’t ready to, I rested my forehead down on his shoulder.
Fuck me.
This was Jay.
Knife. The obsession of my life.
His hands slid down my shoulders, and then he moved back a little to get his hands between us. Since my eyes were open, gazin’ at a fuckin’ smokin’ body in boxers which, I was surprised to find, tented, I saw his hands move.
That was pretty good.
A snort left me. Then I started chuckling. I didn’t know what to say or do. Jesus, I even reverted to my teen years and playfully shoved Jay back a step.
“Well, it was.” Again, he pointed to my junk and then his. “It’s obvious.” He nodded.
I need to get some sleep.
“That’s it? One kiss and you’re done with me? Actually, maybe it’s best since… never mind.”
Since what?
“Nothing.” He shook his head and went back around to the other side of the bed.
I clicked my fingers. Since what, Jay? And what are you doing?
He looked to the bed, to me, and back to the bed before meeting my gaze and stated, “Goin’ to bed.” He winked and once again, slid between my sheets, pulling the top one up over him.
He was the worst, most stubborn bastard I knew, and I was too tired, even if my body was raging to go. My head was too drained to argue with him. So, I dragged my jeans off, pulled my side of the blanket back, and got into bed.
I lay on my back staring up at the ceiling. The light was still on. I fuckin’ forgot to turn it off because Jay was in my bed. Beside me, who, I felt and glanced out the corner of my eyes, had rolled to his side to face me.
He got to his elbow and looked down at me. “The light’s still on.”
I know.
“You gonna turn it off?”
In a second. I wasn’t ready. I needed to remember this moment for the rest of my fuckin’ life. Jay looking down at me smiling, his eyes soft, his expression relaxed, and… he was in bed with me.
“Thought you were tired.”
I am.
“Okay.” He nodded and then, fuck me, he leaned down and touched his mouth to mine, once, twice. When his hand landed on my gut, I jumped and felt his grin against my mouth. Only when he glided his hand up to take hold of my chin and deepen the kiss, I wrapped my arms around him and dragged his body close. He groaned, his chest rumbling against mine. I couldn’t help it; I couldn’t stop. I slid my hand down his back and grabbed hold of his arse forcing him against me more where I felt his hard cock at my side.
He abruptly pulled back. He moved his whole body off mine and was back to on his elbow running a hand over his face, breathing as hard as I was.
When I had his eyes, I asked. What happened?
He shook his head. “Nothin’.”
Jay, what the fuck happened?
His chest rose and fell with a deep sigh. “I’m, ah, fuck, just sensitive.”
My head jerked back in the pillow. How? Where?
“Don’t worry about it. I’m tired, let’s sleep.” He went to get out of bed, maybe to turn off the light, but I grabbed his wrist and pulled him back down. He lay flat on his back, and I moved quick enough to be looming over him.
Where?
“It’s nothin’, Maddox.” And then his whole face and neck blushed, so I knew it was gonna be embarrassing for him. He didn’t get shy over a lot of shit, but he was then.
Tryin’ to fight my smile, I asked. What did you do?
“Get the fuck off me.” He glared.
He knew better than that. I was bigger and a little stronger, so when he tried to struggle, I lay an arm over his upper body, plus a leg over his thighs and then flung the blankets back to search his body. Keepin’ an eye on his fuming face while he cursed me, I ran my free hand over his chest, ribs, and sides. There was no reaction, other than being pissed, until I started lower. With my palm flat, I ran it over his stomach, and his jaw clenched. Lower, his nostrils flared. If it wasn’t for the glare, I would have thought he was turned on. Shit, okay he kind of was, another shock for me, since it was all new and it was Jay. His cock was half-mast…. Hang the fuck on, he only shifted away when I’d pressed his lower half into me.
My hand paused just above the waistband of his boxers. I glanced up to meet his furious gaze. What did you do? I asked with a smirk.
He shoved at my chest, but it was only half-heartedly like all his struggles had been. If he wasn’t embarrassed, I reckoned he liked me touchin’ him, looming over him.
“Get off me,” he demanded, his upper lip raised.
Show me.
“What? No!”
Jay. I smiled. Just show me.
“You were tired. Let’s fuckin’ go to sleep.”
Fine. I nodded. Except I lied. I pretended to slowly move up to my arm and then swiftly, I grabbed the front of his boxers and pulled them down.
Damn.
I winced.
Jay managed to shove me off. I knew he was yellin’ at me as he climbed outta bed. Standing, I grabbed his wrist and turned him to face me. Deaf remember. Can’t hear your threats.
“Yeah, well, fuck you.”
He went to walk past, but I stepped in front of him. What happened?
“Google happened. I fuckin’ tried to search what… shit!” He blushed again. “Thought gay men liked it clear around the junk, so I got waxed.”
Be still my goddamn motherfuckin’ beatin’ heart.
He’d done it for me.
He did want this.
Wanted something to happen between us.
Crap, if that hadn’t shocked the hell outta me, I would’a been on the floor laughing my arse off, so I guessed it was good the shock won out.