Chapter Two
Knife
I was 100 percent fucked. I could only wish it was literally. Instead, it was my head that was all fucked up. Where it should have been thinking and dreamin’ of pussy, pussy, pussy, nice tight, wet snatches, it wasn’t. My traitorous mind was being fuckin’ hateful and throwing at me, both day and bloody night, cock, cock, and more goddamn motherfuckin’ cock.
Ever since that night in Sydney.
I’d gone to bed before Beast, not knowing where the man, who I had to share a tiny fuckin’ double bed with, was. However, in the middle of the night, I’d soon found myself wide awake and hornier than a teenage boy with his first stiffy. I’d also found myself curled into Beast’s back, my hand on his hip as I’d thrust my dick into the seam of his arse. At first, as I fully woke up, I thought I was home and had a woman in bed with me; it wasn’t until I opened my eyes and saw his naked back that I realised just who I was rubbin’ up against. I froze. My dick throbbed for release so I must have been at it for some time before I’d woken.
Freaked, I shifted back and would have tugged one out, even with Beast lyin’ next to me. Only that didn’t happen. When I started to move my hand from his hip, his hand came down on it, and he jerked his arse back on my dick.
“Beast,” I warned low, because shit, I was close to blowin’.
He didn’t listen. If anything, the sound of my voice got to him since he jerked his arse back again, then shifted up and down on it.
Lost.
I was fuckin’ lost in the feelin’.
It was wrong, the whole scene, but my dick led me to do shit I’d never thought I’d do. Gripping his hip, I’d glided my cock up and down his seam. He’d grunted through a groan, hitting me right in the dick and left me exploding right into my boxers.
It should have stopped there.
It didn’t.
His hand on mine pulled forward. I’d fallen against his back more, my eyes wide, my fuckin’ heart just about beat right outta my chest when he’d wrapped my palm around his huge, hard cock. With his hand over mine wound around himself, he’d ran them up and down his dick.
Even though I’d been ridin’ the high after coming hard, I should’a pulled back. I should have shoved him away. I didn’t. I put it down to the fact my mind wasn’t functionin’ right. Which was how I ended up tuggin’ him until he groaned low and squirted his release over my hand and floor.
Then it had all kicked in.
What we’d done.
Wide awake, I’d flopped to my back and wiped my hand on the sheet.
Hell, it was then I freaked. After all, I’d just ground against my mate’s arse and come, then held his dick in my hand while he’d gotten off.
The bed dipped as Beast shifted around, and my pulse had ticked higher. When I saw his hand rising as if he were gonna touch me intimately, I’d scrambled outta bed and went to hide in the bathroom.
Wasn’t sure how long I stayed in there. I sat on the toilet with the seat down and ran through my head what went down in that bed. In a way, I was kinda disgusted with myself. What scared me the most was thinkin’ of how we’d go on from there.
He was Beast.
My friend.
My closest friend.
Christ, I hadn’t even known he was into that shit.
Was he gay?
He couldn’t have been. I knew the man got pussy.
With not knowing what to do, I’d showered and then crept into the room. I wasn’t sure if he was asleep or fakin’ it. I didn’t care. I’d been too freaked. I’d grabbed my shit and flew outta there like my socks were on fire.
From that night on, I’d been a dick.
It’d been too many weeks since I’d spoken, made eye contact, or stayed in the same room as Beast. I couldn’t explain why, maybe I was a coward, but that shit scared the fuck outta me. What we did wasn’t us…. At least I didn’t think it was.
The day I saw him race from the compound in a furious mood a few weeks back, I knew something bad had happened, yet I couldn’t bring myself to see if he wanted or needed my help. I sucked at being a friend, all because of what happened in that room.
Something was goin’ down with Beast though. Everything inside of me wanted to know what. However, like the pansy I was, I didn’t find out.
And as each day passed, it got harder to restrain myself from gettin’ some answers. Hell, I even tried bringin’ it up with Dodge after I knew he’d been to see him a week back. He’d glared and told me, “Find out your fuckin’ self.”
Which was what I was gonna do.
I was sick and tired of missin’ the big fucker.
So I had to put what happened behind me. Shit, I’d freaked for a good time; it was time to move forward and get back the friendship we’d had.
That was if I could forget I had his dick in my hand.
There lay the bigger problem.
I couldn’t forget.
Night after night, I woke hard from dreamin’ I had him.
As in I had him.
Taken his arse instead of grinding against it, and he fuckin’ loved it as much as I did.
It all confused me.
Fuckin’ confused me to a goddamn point I wasn’t sure I knew myself any longer.
I’d never thought about a man’s arse. Never looked at my hand, like I was doing then, and thought about havin’ another guy’s dick in it while I jacked him off.
I wasn’t gay.
Pussy was my best friend, and I fuckin’ loved it.
But since that bloody night, my mind threw thoughts of cock at me.
Most importantly, Beast’s cock and arse.
“Fuck,” I whispered harshly into my empty room at the compound.
I’m not gay.
But I needed my friend back.
For him to be away from his brothers, something big had gone down, and I was an arsehole for not being there for him like all the other brothers.
Standing from my bed, I made my way outta my room and down the hall, to the back of the compound where the kitchen was.
Thank fuck it was deserted. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with anyone. Low must have been in there recently; the place was clean. Nary was also present with the fruit and cupcakes on the huge-arse table. I grabbed a banana from the basket and peeled it, throwing the peel into the bin beside the counter. Leaning against the table, I took a bite, chewed, and swallowed, then froze.
My mind was my own, but it was a dirty fucker.
Seein’ the banana in my hand, my mind took me to the hotel room where I held Beast’s dick in my hand. It wasn’t even the goddamn same size; Beast was bigger.
Aw, shit, now I’m comparing a banana to a man’s cock.
Then my mind went ahead and fucked me up royally because it placed a picture in there of a person givin’ head.
Was it something I could do?
Screwing my face up at the thought, I shook my head and went to take another bite, only to pause and slide my mouth down slowly on the banana. Wasn’t bad. I could handle it. Why in the fuck am I thinking I could handle a dick in my mouth?
It touched the back of my throat, and I gagged, only to choke when Mena and Dive suddenly appeared in the doorway.
Dive’s eyes widened. Then he smirked and asked, “What in the fuck you doin’?”
I tore the banana out of my mouth, only it was still down the back of my throat, so I retched a little, breathing heavily through my nose. Quickly chewing and swallowing what I could, I shook my head and gave him the middle finger.
Mena shifted into the room and over to the coffee maker. Finally finishing what was in my mouth, I shot daggers to my brother and replied darkly, “Eatin’ a fuckin’ banana. What in the hell you think I was doin’?”
He’d better think of his life before he answered.
He shrugged, his eyes dancing with humour. “It kinda looked like you were giving it a blow—”
“Kalen,” Mena cried. She must have seen the way I tensed and stood slowly. “Um, honey, let’s have that coffee before I go.”
Ignoring the grinning brother, I asked Mena, “Where you off to, darlin’?”
Her cheeks heated, and she glanced to Dive, to me, to her man and then back to me. “Um….”
“She’s goin’ to see Beast.”
My body tensed for a new reason.
Mena was hangin’ with Beast?
Why?
Clenching my jaw, I bit out, “Didn’t know they were close.”
The humour died from Dive’s expression. His eyes narrowed as he crossed his arms over his chest and stated, “Guess you don’t know a lot of things these days.”
Crossing my arms also, I braced my feet apart and asked on a snarl, “What’s that supposed to mean, brother?”
Dive’s upper body kinda came forward when he gruffly said back, “Means maybe you need to get your head outta your arse and open your eyes.”
“Kalen,” Mena called.
“You got no idea what you’re talkin’ about.”
He straightened. “No, I don’t. But what I do know is that I had two brothers who were close, so close they never went a day apart from each other, then something went down, and now a brother in need doesn’t have the support from his so-called close brother.”
“Then tell me what in the fuck is happenin’,” I demanded.
“Ain’t mine to tell.”
Shaking my head, I clenched my teeth together. I turned my gaze to his woman, “Mena—”
Her eyes widened. “I have to go,” she announced before placing her half-full coffee on the counter, going to her man, giving him a kiss, and running from the room.
“Do not ask my woman,” Dive clipped. “Grow a pair, Knife, and do it soon.” He stalked from the room.
“Fuck,” I muttered, running a hand over my face.
Since it wasn’t that long ago I’d decided to do something about Beast, I guessed it was lucky Mena and Dive came into the kitchen when I was blowin’ a banana or else I wouldn’t have known to follow Mena. See if she was headin’ to his place or meetin’ him somewhere.
I sure wasn’t happy with their little friendship.
In fact, it pissed me off.
Answers were what I needed, and in finding them, I had to get my arse outta there.