Chapter Eight
Beast
Fuck me. Motherfucking hell.
How was this new situation gonna help me get over the fucker in the living room since he was living under my goddamn roof?
Christ, the way he took on his girl without a thought was fuckin’ powerful. Wasn’t sure if it’d sunk in how much his life would change since he was a father. There’d be no club pussy when he wanted it, or drinking and hangin’ with the brothers. His time patrolling our territory would be cut right down, so would the time he’d be called into a situation. Then again, there were enough old ladies to help him out, and hell, I wouldn’t just stand back and not assist him. Babies didn’t freak me out like I knew they did him, yet there he was taking one on without hesitation.
Rubbing the back of my neck, I knew for certain fallin’ outta love for the dick had just been made harder.
Why in God’s name did I agree to him stayin’ here until he had his feet under him and knew what he was doin’ with a baby? Crap, I hoped he knew the living sitch’ was just temporary. That was something we’d have to talk about.
Knife had a kid.
Just a wee baby girl.
And they were stayin’ in my house. Under my roof.
Christ.
Shakin’ my head, I reread over the schedule Mena had written out. She’d just had her bottle, so it was playtime before she had a nap. Mena had suggested to hold off the nap for another hour, so then she wouldn’t get tired and cranky before dinner.
Takin’ the sheet with me, I walked back into the living room and stopped. Knife had just set Nevaeh down on the couch, and she was already sleeping. He looked over at me and grinned like he’d just done the best thing in the world. I shook the sheet out in front of me. Knife’s brows dipped together. I waved the sheet again and stalked over to him. I pointed out the problem.
His eyes widened, and his lips moved in a curse. What do I do? He signed.
That still shocked the hell outta me; he’d taken the time out to learn. Then again, we’d been pretty close before….
I shrugged. Wake her?
“Walk her?” he mouthed.
Snorting, I shook my head and spelt it out slowly. Wake her.
But she’s asleep. He sighed and then tapped his mouth. I watched his mouth move. “What happens if I wake her and she starts screaming?”
Groaning, I took my phone out and typed out a text. I can only follow so much. Did you say…. What happens if I wake her and she starts a scrimmage? She’s a bit young for that.
At least the worry from his eyes left, when after reading my text, he threw his head back and laughed. Only to abruptly stop and glance down at his girl to make sure she was still asleep.
I’ll ring Mena and ask her what to do.
I jerked my chin up in reply. It was then I noticed shit around the room. The brothers must have come and gone already. Which had me wondering if there were things I needed to put together.
Leavin’ Knife to his phone call, I made my way down the hall and stopped in the doorway to see, not only a hell’va mess, but Pick and Billy puttin’ the finishing touches on a baby crib. Billy saw me first and tipped his head. Fuckin’ hated I couldn’t just say shit, but I didn’t want to sound stupid.
Instead, I sent off a text to Billy. Need help?
He paused what he was doin’ and took out his phone. After a glance, he typed back. We’re good here, but there’s a change table in the living room that needs to be put together.
Me: On it.
How could one tiny person need so much? The room looked like a tornado had ripped through it. Not that I cared; it’d be good to have people in the house besides just myself. Would have been better if it were anyone else besides the man I loved, but I wouldn’t throw Knife and his girl out. When Knife had mentioned my place, I was sure my heart was gonna detonate in my chest, but I’d seen the fear building in his eyes. I couldn’t have said no.
He was one person I could never say no to.
Which was how we got into so much shit when we were younger. Speeding, drunk driving, indecent behaviour when caught in the park fuckin’. Actually, Knife had been poundin’ the woman hard while I’d been watchin’ him and waiting for my turn. It wouldn’t have taken me long to blow my load into the woman’s snatch, even if I hated the thought of a woman under me, but watching Knife and fantasizing it was me he was laying into had me near coming in my jeans. That was until the cops showed and put a stop to it all.
Damn. I’d been in love with the idiot for far too long. I needed to get over it instead of wanting him under me, or shit, over me.
Maybe another date with Ben, or any guy where I could just fuck him, was in order.
As I walked back into the living room, I saw Knife sitting on the couch staring down at his girl, but his hands were moving over some signs. Fuck, he was practicing. He must have heard me because he looked up. Mena said it was okay. We just have to put up with her being upset later.
He was slow at it, but spot on with what he’d said.
Wait a fuckin’ second.
We?
He’d said we.
As in we had to put up with her later.
I knew I’d assist him when I could, but I didn’t expect…. Fuck, I didn’t know. I just thought he’d come here to stay with her and he’d do mostly everything for her while I was a bystander and helped out when I could. Never expected to be placed in the same parenting role as him.
Shit, I’d leave it and see how things played out. He could have just slipped up and said we. Instead, I gestured to the box containing the change table. Putting it together.
He nodded and smiled. Thanks, brother. Have to keep an eye on her. Mena said she wasn’t safe sleeping on the couch. Again, he signed slowly but had all the words right.
After a chin lift, I got down to work on the change table. A motor I could put together with my fuckin’ eyes closed. A change table was another goddamn story. It took me longer than I thought it would, and then I moved on to unpacking diapers, wipes, creams, and everything else in the bags. The clothes I found were tiny. I’d pack them in her room when Pick and Billy were done. Then again, maybe it was best they were washed before she wore them. With that thought, I took them into the laundry room off the kitchen and set about doing just that.
* * * *
Hours later, my place was starting to look back to normal. Only there was a shit-ton of girly things layin’ around. Toys, pink blankets, a bath, only that was in the bathroom with Knife as he gave Nevaeh a wash down. There had been pink, purple, hell, all bright coloured clothes that were washed, dried, and folded. In her room, I organised the crib to the window, the change table beside it, and a goddam ugly yellow rug on the floor. I’d even moved the living room around so I could place the overflowing tub of toys in the corner and a device a baby sat in to help them walk, plus a stroller. I did all that while Knife dealt with Nevaeh after she woke. He seemed to have been doing a good job. Before he’d taken her for a walk, I’d caught a few smiles and laughs on her face. She looked happy enough to be in the house.
Thank fuck I’d cleaned the whole place just the previous day. I’d felt content when I saw her playin’ on the living room floor earlier.
By the time the sun set, Pick and Billy were long gone with a wish of luck. Fina-fuckin’-lly, I was sitting on the couch doing nothin’, but was fuckin’ exhausted. Too tired to even cook. Thank fuck the pizza places had the online option since I couldn’t have rang an order through.
Just after I finished ordering, my phone vibrated with a text.
Ben: How’s your day been?
I found myself smiling. Me: Busy. Yours?
Ben: Good, since you replied.
Shit. I liked what he’d said; it showed me he was interested. Also meant he’d let me have his arse. But… Knife walked into the room with Nevaeh in his arms. Christ, he looked good holding a baby, his own baby. Though he looked good no matter.
I was done for.
I needed a distraction from the man, so could Ben be one?
My phone vibrated. Ben: Too soon? :)
Was it?
We’d known each other a little while, but could there be more between us?
Me: Not sure.
Ben: All good. I’ll keep trying. You coming to class tomorrow?
Me: Yeah.
Knife’s bare feet stopped in front of me, I glanced up. “Who you talkin’ to?” I read from his lips.
Ben. I waited for anything from him, but got nothing. Actually, what I got was a shrug. Then he turned back around and went over to the space on the floor to place his girl down. I pulled my attention back to my phone when it vibrated again.
Ben: Great, I’ll see you then and ask if you want to catch dinner tomorrow night.
Snorting, I grinned. Me: You’re not asking now?
Ben: Nope. Give you more time to think. Because after dinner, I’d like to kiss you.
My eyes widened. I looked up and caught Knife shifting his gaze from me back to Nevaeh sitting on the floor playin’ with something.
Holy fuck.
He wanted to kiss me. He was tellin’ me so.
Did I want him to? Hell, did I want to go to dinner with him again? I enjoyed his company, but could I find myself lip lockin’ with him after it?
Fuck it.
I’d never get what I wanted from the man sitting in my living room, so why the hell not get what I could from Ben? He was being straight with me, so I could with him.
Me: ’Kay, see you tomorrow, and when you ask me, I’ll say yes. As long as you know I ain’t lookin’ for anything permanent.
My heart raced in my chest. I chanced a glance to Knife, and nearly fuckin’ jumped when I saw his eyes already on me. His hands lifted. Dinner?
Got pizza on the way.
Right. I’ll feed Nevaeh. He paused to study me. You cool?
Yes.
His gaze searched my face once more. Right. He stood, picked Nevaeh up, and dragged her high chair into the kitchen.
My phone vibrated.
Ben: Sounds fine to me :) See you tomorrow.