Chapter Twenty-Five
Knife
Damn, if my ma wasn’t in the house and if Nevaeh was asleep, I would have gladly taken Maddox’s dick in my hand or mouth. Just seein’ him hard in the shower, his skin all wet and warm was a fuckin’ turn-on. In fact, I had to adjust my dick in my jeans as I walked back down the hall. No wonder it was takin’ him so long in the shower. At first I’d thought something had happened. It had, only it wasn’t life-threatening. Unless he decided to deal with it himself.
Obviously he understood that when I claimed him, I meant all of him.
Any sexual desires were mine to dish out. His body was no longer his, like mine wasn’t mine. I knew I’d leave all orgasms to the man I’d just walked outta the bathroom from. Hell, if I could still walk and have him suckin’ me off 24/7, I’d do it. Then again, I wouldn’t want him to get a sore jaw or anything, so maybe 24/7 wasn’t the best option. I was caring like that.
“All good. Vin was in there with him,” I said as I entered the living room to see Ma, who was in designer gear, sitting on the floor next to Nevaeh. I’d told her about how Maddox was deaf and didn’t talk, so I used the excuse of how I wasn’t sure he had Vin with him to go and see what was takin’ him so long. It was also because I’d fuckin’ found myself distracted talkin’ with Ma because I was thinkin’ of him.
Never thought about a person so much in my life. Usually I was self-absorbed. Well, that was until Nevaeh came along… and since that night in the hotel room.
“I’m glad.” Ma smiled.
“It’s good to see you here,” I told her as I sat on the couch opposite to where she and Nevaeh were. We’d talked a few times over the phone, even before I shared with her the news of Frank. She was situated in a hotel for a while until she found her own place. I had asked why she hadn’t wanted the house. She wanted a clean slate. I was glad she went for that option since Frank was offed in the house. What worried me was how I could see the sadness in her eyes. She had a lot of guilt; so did I. But it was time to move on and gain back a relationship without that fucktard in our lives.
“It’s great to be here. I can’t tell you enough how beautiful she is, Jay.” When she’d entered earlier, she’d burst into tears on seeing Nevaeh for the first time. I was sure that wasn’t the only reason; her emotions would be running high. “The mother, she won’t—”
My hand came up. “Not in our lives and for the better. If she ever tried to come back, she’d regret it. Somethin’ she’d know.”
Ma nodded. She knew exactly what I was sayin’ and didn’t care. She’d always wanted me happy, and at the start, when she knew I was leavin’ for Hawks MC, she was sad but pleased I was finally content with life.
“How you doin’, Ma?”
She nodded, only to look up and see the scepticism on my face. She smiled softly. “I’ll get there, Jay. I regret so much, most of all losing time with you. He was my husband for so long, though. It will take time to adjust, but I will.” Even quieter, she said, “He wasn’t a good man. I knew this. Another reason I regret my time with him. In a way, he deserved what he got for his dealings. But… it’s still hard to take.”
“Shit, Ma. I can understand that. You’re strong, always have been, so with time, I know you’ll be fine. And we can make that time back, and now you got a grandbaby to look forward to getting to know. Nevaeh’s life is only startin’ out. You can be there for both of us from now on.”
More tears shone in her eyes. Her bottom lip wobbled. “I would so love that.”
Even with time, I knew we’d never have a deep mother-and-son relationship, but respect had me callin’ her Ma, and still I knew I wanted her in my life because she’d been a good mum when I was a young boy. She’d been weak against her husband; that was all I could put it down to.
Nevaeh would need a woman in her life, and with help from both of us, we’d get her grandmother standing on her own two feet without a fear in the world.
“I was very nervous about coming here, Jay.”
“Can understand that, Ma. Again, in time those nerves will go. You just gotta remember you can be whoever you want to be here, around us, and we’ll be the same.”
“I will.”
Shifting forward, I rested my elbows on my knees and clasped my hands together. “Something I gotta tell you.”
“Yes?” she asked as Nevaeh climbed onto her lap.
Only it was then I heard Vin’s nails clip cloppin’ on the floor, so I knew Maddox would be behind him. Jesus, my heart was bursting with knowing Maddox was comin’ down the hall. I could feel Ma’s eyes on me, but I was already looking towards the hall. First came Vin around the corner. He went straight towards the people on the floor and then in stepped Maddox dressed in jeans and a black tee.
Fuckin’ perfect.
His eyes landed on me right away, and he grinned. I was already smilin’, so I signed. Hey.
He shook his head, chuckled too low for me to hear, but I could see, and I liked seeing it.
His eyes went to the floor, so I looked there to see Ma already watchin’ me. A soft smile was on her lips. Clearin’ my throat, I said and signed, “Ma, this is…” Fuck, did I call him Beast or Maddox? I didn’t really want her to call him Beast, but Maddox was also something I wanted just for me to call him. Still, it didn’t feel right. If she was in our life like I wanted, then… “Maddox.” I finished and looked to Maddox. He was glancing at both of us. “Maddox, officially meet my ma, Lisa Conger.” He started to walk towards the couch with a wave to Ma when I added, “Also, he’s my man.”
I snorted when Maddox stumbled the rest of the way over before planting his arse next to me on the couch with a blush to his cheeks.
“Um, Jay. How do I sign?”
Tearing my gaze away from a glaring Maddox beside me, who I was grinning at, I told Ma, “You can just talk, but make sure you have his eyes. He can read your lips and I can translate what he wants to say.”
Maddox looked to Ma. “It’s nice to meet you, Maddox. You have a nice home here.”
As I watched Maddox’s fingers fly, I repeated the words, “Nice to meet you too, and thanks. Sorry about your son layin’ that on you like that. He’s an idiot sometimes.” I laughed.
Ma giggled. “He’s always been straightforward. Something I appreciate. Though he didn’t need to say anything. His look at you was enough for me to know.”
Holy shit. It was?
“A mother always notices these things. If you’re worried others will—”
Quickly I shook my head. “I don’t care if people do.” Turning to Maddox, who was already lookin’ at me, I asked, “Do you?”
No.
“All good then.” Placing a hand on Maddox’s thigh, I leaned back on the couch, relaxed, and just talked. It took some time for Maddox to get settled into it, but he’d have to get used to me wantin’ to touch him all the time. And everyone else we were around would have to do the same as well.
Later Ma mentioned she was lookin’ at places near us to buy. That was if we didn’t mind, which we didn’t. As the time went on, I realised I had missed her. Havin’ her in front of me brought back memories of how she used to be with me. Even though we had money back then, I didn’t have a nanny. She did everything herself. Cooked, cleaned, helped me with homework, and even played Lego and shit with me. I wasn’t sure where or how she’d lost her way, but she had to have felt stuck with Frank to have not left sooner.
She was a lot younger than him, only looking about forty-five, a few years older than Maddox, but she was actually fifty-two, where I was thirty-five. She still had a lot to give, a lot to look forward to in life, and a chance to find happiness.
Ma had stayed all day. Maddox made us some lunch while Ma and I took Nevaeh on a walk in her stroller, something my girl loved to do. It also helped her sleep after lunch. There was never any awkwardness between any of us and each time she saw me touch Maddox in any way, her smile would turn soft. It told me she was happy because I was.
As she was leavin’ after dinner and after we’d gone through some things for the funeral, she asked if once she was situated, she could have Nevaeh for the night. Worry bombarded me; still, I found myself agreeing. It didn’t mean it’d be soon. I wanted them around each other more before I gave Ma a chance at taking her for the night. I’d also asked Maddox once she’d left, for him to install security at her new place. I’d never take a chance and not have something top of the range when my daughter was gonna be in that house. He quickly agreed, with a look that told me he’d already thought of it.
I’d enjoyed the day with my ma there, but I’d also felt guilty for wanting her gone. Each time I found Maddox lookin’ at me with warmth in his eyes, I wanted to crawl into his lap and kiss the fuck outta him. I probably could have done it in front of Ma, but then again, I knew once I got my mouth on him, I’d want to take it further.
Which was why, when after I’d asked him about security, I plastered myself to him near the front door and took his mouth. He was just as eager. His hands gripped me just as quickly and roamed my body.
As I ground my denim-clad cock across his, a phone rang. I ignored it until Maddox pulled away and glanced down at Vin at his side. Maddox breathed heavily, like I was, as he stepped back and pulled his phone free of his pocket.
He read a text, and when he looked up, I said, “I swear to fuckin’ Christ, if that’s fuckface Ben askin’ what you’re doin’, tell him me or I will.”
He snorted and shook his head. Replacing the phone, he signed. Dodge. Gotta work security at a strip club tonight. Some brothers are out sick and others are workin’ at Pick and Billy’s bar.
“Fuck.” I groaned and ran a hand across the back of my neck. I didn’t want him to leave. Strange since I’d never felt that way before about anyone. But I knew he had to. “Dodge and Talon have got to talk. Since Pick and Billy got the bar and shits goin’ down at other strip clubs, everyone is runnin’ down.”
Think Talon’s gonna shut down a club or two now the bar’s making a shitload.
“Good. But you have to leave.”
He smirked, knowing I didn’t want him to. Yeah.
“Fuckin’ sucks.”
True. But maybe it’s for the best. We should slow things until we get results.
I called bullshit. Okay, so that may be a small reason to want to slow things down, but I was sure he was still worried I was gonna bail on what we had goin’ on. “Ah, hell to the fuck no. Tomorrow morning before you head off to work, I’m takin’ your cock in my mouth whether you like it or not.”
He laughed. Pretty sure I’ll like it.
“We don’t need to go slow, just be careful. Not that I think either of us has shit.” Stepping close to him again, I added, “You gotta get it through that thick head, I ain’t goin’ anywhere.”
He nodded, kissed me in a way that I got hard, then ordered me not to touch myself before he walked outta the door with his club vest over his shoulder and Vin followin’ him to his car.
God. To think I’d been so scared about my feelin’s for him. That was just plain stupid.
We hadn’t talked about it, but when I eventually went to bed, I did it in his room and his bed.
After all, I did promise to suck him off in the morning. I was only makin’ it easier on myself. Instead of stumbling in from another room, I was already there, and I’d be ready and raring to go.