“I’M NOT OKAY.”
Placing the bouquet of yellow tulips at the foot of my baby girl’s grave, I kissed my fingers before brushing them against the tombstone. I didn’t want to leave but without Max at my side, there was nothing for me here.
Max’s words from last night made me realize that neither of us were okay. Being apart but still being in the same town, didn’t help. After grabbing a couple things from my apartment, I decided to just … leave. I had no idea where I was going or what laid in store for me, but I knew I needed to get away.
“I will always love you, Max. No matter what. No matter how long we’re apart. My love for you will never lessen.”
But I still walked out.
And she still let me.
“Can we be friends?” she asked, reaching for my hand.
I linked our fingers and kissed her knuckles. “Maybe in time.”
She nodded, her eyes shining. “I love you, Dale.”
Walking away from her was the hardest thing I ever had to do but we both knew our relationship wasn’t healthy.
When she had finally confessed she wasn’t in fact okay, I couldn’t do anything but hold her. I was a pansy-assed-pussy who didn’t deserve her.
“You sure this is what you want to do?” Coby asked, leaning against his SUV.
No. “Yes.”
Coby nodded once, looking out at my shitty car parked by the curb. “You still got that old beater.”
I grunted. “Yeah.”
“What’s the first thing you’re going to do?” He crossed his arms under his chest, his gaze slowly meeting mine once again.
“Buy a new car.” The joke meant to lighten the mood but it did shit all.
“I’ll watch out for her,” he told me, clapping a hand on the back of my neck. “And any fucker who comes in breathing distance of her, I’ll bust their kneecaps.”
All I could do was nod as the billowing ache formed in my chest.
“I love you, brother.” Coby leaned his forehead against mine. “You better come back.”
“I will.”
“You better come back for her.”
“I will.” I took a deep breath. “I don’t want anyone else.”
“Good.” He kissed my head. “Fuck, Dale.”
“Yeah.” I rubbed the tightness out of my chest. “I agree.”
***
“Where the hell are you going?” Angel barked as soon as I entered the King’s Harlots clubhouse. His gaze zeroed in on the bag hanging off my shoulder.
“I’m not quite sure,” I muttered, throwing the bag on the bench. After Coby left my place, I had driven over to Asher’s, said goodbye, and made my way out of there before things got emotional again.
As I walked into the Harlot’s clubhouse, I just finished sending Stone a text. The guy was nowhere to be found. He did some running for Angel few knew about. I didn’t ask questions.
“Listen, brother.” Angel clapped both hands on my shoulders, his brows furrowing. “You don’t have to leave.”
“I do.”
“Why?”
“Because I love her too much to stay,” I said, a flutter of relief washed over me. It had been the most honest thing I had said in months. Max’s happiness meant everything to me and if she couldn’t be happy with me, I would leave.
“Fuck, Dale.” Angel squeezed my nape. “I love you, man. I know we’ve had our own shit but … fuck.”
I chuckled. “Aww, Angel, are you becoming a softy now that you’re a father?”
“Shut up,” he grumbled, punching me gently in the shoulder.
We stayed like that for a couple minutes before he pulled away and shoved his hands in his pockets.
“I need you back here in six months. I don’t give a fuck where you go. Find yourself. Sort your shit out. But be back here on October twenty-first.”
“Okay … why?”
Angel grinned. “Because that woman of mine is finally making an honest man out of me.”
My eyes widened. “Fuck yeah.” I tackled Angel, pulling him in for a hug. “Congratulations, brother.”
“It’s about damn time too,” came a deep reply.
We pulled apart, finding Coby coming toward us.
He smirked, clapping a hand on Angel’s shoulder.
“I thought you were heading back to the city,” I said to Coby.
“This is more important right now.” He handed me a beer. “Brogan understands.”
“You know what this means right?” Asher stepped out from behind the bar. “Bachelor party time.” Asher wrapped an arm around my neck. “Good to see you, brother,” he muttered in my ear.
“Good to see you too.” I shoved out of his grip before hooking an arm around his shoulders and kissed his cheek.
“Fuck, Dale.” He pushed me away, slapping me across the head. “Why the hell do you do that?”
“You love me.” I blew him a kiss.
Asher shook his head. “It’s about damn time you got your humor back.”
My smile faltered. It was fake. All of it was damn fake. But they didn’t need to know that or that I had left the woman I loved. I was sure they could take a guess as to what had happened but there was no way I would discuss it.
Not then. Maybe not ever.
The light banter went back and forth between us.
Friends. Brothers.
We ended up moving to one of the booths, joking and picking fights like old times. It was how it used to be.
Before we met the King’s Harlots.
Before I fell in love.
Before I met Max.