6 months later…
MY CHEEKS HURT. I had never smiled so much in such a short amount of time. Hell, I hadn’t smiled like this in a year. It was a nice change but that never-ending nagging feeling that I shouldn’t be happy still poked at my heart. I ignored it like my counselor had suggested.
Angelica shifted in my arms, cooing around the soother in her mouth. I kissed her cheek, inhaling deep, the sweet scent of her skin easing all the nerves racing through me.
I was going to see Dale.
It had been over six months since I last saw him. He never told me where he was going. He never made contact.
My stomach did flips that we were in the same building but hadn’t run into each other yet.
Jay and Angel’s wedding was supposed to be small but half the town had shown up.
I still hadn’t seen Dale. But I felt him.
Through the whole ceremony, I could feel his eyes burning into my skin.
But he never did make an appearance.
I sighed, kissing my God daughter’s cheek again.
“All right, baby girl, let’s go find your parents.” I walked through the crowd at the back of the clubhouse in search of the newly married couple. Finding them standing by Asher and Meeka at the door, I kissed Angelica’s cheek before handing her to Meeka. “You leaving already?” I asked her.
“We are,” Asher answered for her, hooking his arm around his girlfriend’s neck. “Gotta get my girls home to bed.”
“Or boys.” She winked, a slight flush spreading up her neck.
“What?” I screeched.
“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” Jay cried. “And you’re only just telling us this now? Twins?”
Meeka nodded, a small smile splaying on her lips.
“I’m the twin and I only get one,” Jay pouted, brushing her hand down her daughter’s cheek.
“Hey, I’m all for making another one.” Angel patted her lightly on the butt. “You know. Since it is our wedding night and all.”
“I’m getting drunk. I pumped enough breastmilk to last Angelica a lifetime. You’re going to have to peel me off the floor, remember?” She poked her husband in the ribs. “I need to get drunk,” she repeated slowly, jabbing him with her finger after each word.
Angel grabbed her hand and kissed her knuckles. “My wife is so demanding.” He shook his head.
She let out a dramatic sigh, her eyes twinkling with mischief.
We all laughed.
“Congratulations,” I told Meeka, pulling her in for a hug.
“I’m happy to see you smiling again,” she whispered, returning the embrace.
My heart thumped.
“Are you sure you don’t mind watching Angelica for the night?” Jay asked, hopping from foot to foot.
Meeka laughed. “You’re antsy. Get a drink. And no, we definitely don’t mind. It’s good practice.”
Jay patted Angel’s chest. “Get me a drink, my husband? Pretty please?”
He grinned, placing a hard peck on her mouth.
Clearing my throat, I kissed Angelica on the head and left them to their goodbyes.
“Max,” someone called out. “Great reception, girl.”
I waved, smiling at the compliment but that smile only went so far. It stretched across my skin, turning my lips up at the corners but it never reached my heart. A smile meant you were happy but in my case, it meant I was fake.
I put on a good show but that was just it. It was all just a damn show.
“Max.”
My heart jumped to my throat, my feet stumbling over themselves. Just when I was about to land on my ass, Dale stood in front of me with his hand wrapped around my arm.
“Steady.” He smiled, helping me regain my balance.
“Thank you.” I pulled from his grasp and stared up at him. Somehow, he looked different. A light smattering of scruff covered his strong jaw. His hair had grown in. But, it wasn’t that. He looked … happy. Refreshed. Looked like the time apart did him some good. That made one of us.
My stomach sunk to my feet. Maybe he had met someone.
“How are you doing, kitten?” he asked, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear.
“I’m …” I swayed toward him when he pulled his hand away. Shit.
A wicked grin spread across his face. “I see I still have the magic touch.”
Oh, God, yes, the voice inside my head screamed. Clearing my throat, I composed myself and stood taller. “I’m doing well. How about you? How was your trip?”
He grunted, leaning against the wall. “It was lonely at times but it was needed.”
“Where did you go?”
“I had no intention of going anywhere specific but the next thing I knew, I was at the airport. I backpacked through Europe.” He shrugged. “It was fun and enlightening but I would have preferred to do it with someone.”
I looked away, my cheeks heating. “I’d love to hear about it sometime,” I blurted. As soon as the words left me, I snapped my mouth closed. “I mean … if you want to.”
A cheesy grin spread across his face. “Yeah, I want to.”
“Okay.” A breath left me on a whoosh. “Well, it was nice seeing you.” As soon as I took a step forward, rough fingers wrapped around my arm, pulling me back into the darkness behind the building.
“It was nice seeing me, Max?” Dale asked, brushing his nose just under the soft spot beneath my ear.
“Yeah.” I leaned against him. “It was.”
He spun me around and cupped my face. “It was nice seeing me,” he repeated.
“Yes.” I pulled from his grasp. “What did you expect me to say?”
“How about something more than that shit, Max? Maybe, I’ve missed you and I can’t sleep or eat or … fuck if I know, but it’s nice seeing me is a fucking lie and you know it.”
“I don’t know what the hell you want me to say.” I placed my hands on my hips, jabbing a finger in his chest. “You left me, remember?”
He grabbed my hand, pulling me against him. “Yeah and I haven’t been able to sleep since. I’ve missed you. I’ve missed everything about you. I have to force myself to do anything. I try not to think about you but I can’t stop myself.”
“What are you telling me?”
“I’m …”
“Dale,” I whispered.
“Do you know what today is?” he asked, searching my face.
My eyes widened. “What … wait … do you?”
“Yes.” He kissed my forehead, my nose and then the corner of my mouth before brushing his lips over the shell of my ear. “It’s been a year and a half since we conceived her. I missed the official anniversary but I thought of you. I thought of you so damn hard.”
My eyes burned, the back of my throat tightening. “How can you remember that?” I gripped his arms. “No man would ever remember that.”
“I did the math, baby.” His eyes shone. “I know we have our issues but it’s been six long months without you.”
“I can’t …” I swallowed hard but I needed to know something. “Has there been anyone else?” I whispered, looking down at my feet.
His finger pinched my chin, tilting my head to meet the soft impact of his mouth. “No. It’s always only been you. I know I was a dick, an asshole and I can never make up for what I did but there has been no other woman for me.”
My eyes welled. “There’s been no other man for me.”
A cheesy grin spread across his face. “It’s been a long six months without your warmth wrapped around me, baby.”
“Way too damn long,” my breath hitched. “I can’t believe you remember.”
“How the hell can I not remember?” his hand curled around the back of my neck. “I remember everything about you. Every moment we’ve shared. Every word we’ve said.”
“Oh, God, Dale. The time apart has been awful but I realize now that it was needed.” I wrapped my arms around his waist. “Please don’t leave me again. Stay with me.”
“I’m never leaving. Not again. We can work on this now. Tomorrow. The next day. Fifty years from now. I don’t give a fuck. I’m not leaving you. I’d rather be in a toxic relationship with the woman I love then to be alone and miserable.”
A sob escaped me. “You want to do this?” I asked him, looking up at him through unshed tears.
“Fuck yes.” He crushed his mouth to mine, lifting me in his arms.
I laughed against his lips, wrapping my legs around his waist. “God, I love you, Dale. I love you so damn hard.”
“Good.” He kissed me repeatedly, placing tiny pecks all over my face. “Love me even harder, kitten, because I’m sure as fuck not going anywhere.”
***
(Dale)
Her giggle was what I lived for. Making her laugh was my sole purpose in life. I loved this woman with her arms wrapped around my neck and the look of adoration in her beautiful eyes. She looked at me like I was a hero. Her hero.
“You’re not mad?” I asked, sitting on the picnic bench and pulled her down beside me.
“Mad about what?” she kept a firm grasp on my hands.
“Me leaving and then coming back after all this time. Come on, Max. Most women would have kicked my ass long ago.” I didn’t want to fight but I didn’t want her to go into this with any intention of leaving. Ever. Again.
She chewed her bottom lip. “Maybe so.” She smiled up at me. “Although I have kicked your ass in the bedroom.”
Fuck me. My body stirred.
Her smile widened. “I don’t know.” She let out a slow breath. “You leaving made me realize something else.”
“What?” I asked, my heart jumping.
“That I need you. Angelica showed me that. I love that little girl like my own and I am honored Jay and Angel asked me to be her godmother. Getting to know her has shown me how life is too damn short. You hurt me, yes. You hurt me so damn much, Dale, but you’ve also loved me. You showed that when you walked away so I could be happy.” A lonely tear strolled down her cheek.
I itched to kiss her, taking her tears on my tongue but I didn’t. Not yet.
“I love you,” she whispered.
I pulled her into my arms, pushing my face into the crook of her neck.
“I love you, Max.”
We sat like that for a while. I leaned my forehead against hers, holding her hands between us and kissed her knuckles and fingertips.
“I’m not perfect. We both know that. I …” I swallowed hard. “Fuck. I’m not good at this shit.”
She laughed lightly. “Just be honest.”
I took a breath and said the first words that came to mind, “The only thing I’ve ever been good at is loving you.”