Thinking about a person after some time doesn’t always mean that we miss them. That’s sometimes called “moving on.”
I knew it. I knew whom that voice belonged to. I just didn’t want to believe it. All this time I hoped that I would be away from him and enjoy my life until the very end. So why did we have to meet again? Moreover, why was he, out of all people, Melissa’s brother?
Looking into his eyes, I saw mischief, so I instantly backed up against the wall, not knowing what he could to do. The memories I had of him weren’t the prettiest, and I hadn’t even done anything back then to invoke them. Now, after all the mess that happened, I doubted that he was going to become any kinder.
For a second, I thought I saw regret in his eyes, but I must’ve been wrong. He hadn’t shown a bit of remorse that night at all, so what could have possibly been changed now?
“Will you step out of my wardrobe, or at least, what is left out of it?” he asked, and I weakly nodded, waiting for him to step aside. He moved to the right to allow me to get out, and I hesitantly made a move to get away while watching him carefully, waiting for any sudden movement.
He rubbed his hands and bit his lip nervously as I waited. I had to get Ayden out of here as soon as possible. I couldn’t stay here with him, not after everything that had happened between us.
“So, are you hungry?” he asked, and I mumbled a weak no, not looking at his eyes.
I always thought that I would be able to stand my ground the next time I saw him, if I ever did, but now I see that truth was far from that, at that moment at least. My statement was suddenly betrayed by the loud growl that came from my tummy, and Blake only shook his head with a sigh.
“Someone disagrees with you.” I blushed but kept my head low, not wanting him to see me like that. I still needed to get away from…
“Come.” He motioned for me to follow him, and I looked at him in confusion. “Please, don’t fight me on this one. I can’t leave a starving person before my eyes,” he said with a pleading look in his eyes. Something inside made me nod and follow after him without even noticing it.
So much for trying to stand my ground, I see.
I couldn’t understand why I acted like that. I couldn’t understand what was making me do it when I most certainly shouldn’t have listened to him. I should’ve yelled, fought, done anything! I should have taken Ayden the moment I saw this guy and got away from this house, not follow him like a lost child. What if he takes me again?
No, I couldn’t. I had to get away.
“I won’t bite. You can trust me,” he suddenly said as I bit my lip. Yeah, right, keep telling me that as much as you want, I won’t trust you with an ounce of my being.
You never gave me a reason to.
But I could not voice out my thoughts.
“I’m telling the truth. I’m…” He wanted to say something but shut himself silent. What? What was he? “Nevermind. Let’s go,” he said instead before turning around and heading to the kitchen.
Just then, a barking Alexander stormed in our way before jumping on Blake who started playing with him.
“Look at you, boy. I have to bathe you now,” he exclaimed as Alex barked in protest before running to hide behind my legs, making me chuckle and get down. For that moment, I forgot about Blake being in the same room with me.
“It’s okay, doggy. You have to. You’re all dirty.” I chuckled as he whined before crawling toward me, and I shook my head. Nope, that won’t work on me.
“Alex, come,” Blake suddenly said, making me snap out of that daze and realize that he was there. He patted him before leading him toward the room where Alfred was with the kids.
“Kids, wanna bathe this guy?” he asked, and they both jumped and hugged him with squeals. He gave the dog to them before coming back to me and pointing to the kitchen as I followed. I couldn’t take Ayden when he sounded so happy with Amy after all he’s been through.
Once we came to the kitchen, the sight in front of me amazed me once again. It was way different during the night compared to the look it had during the day. It’s like it was…alive.
“I love cooking, so I’ve gotten myself a nice place to experiment,” he proudly stated as I nodded, not knowing what else to do. It became awkward after that, so he cleared his throat, breaking the silence between the two of us.
“Sit,” he said, pulling out a chair, and I sat down, not having another choice. I once again cursed at my lack of backbone. I wasn’t supposed to be afraid or to obey him.
“What would you like to eat?” he asked, and I only shrugged. He started humming a melody as he prepared the ingredients for my meal. I warily looked at him, wondering if he really knew how to cook? I wouldn’t take him for that kind of person after all. I mean, he? The same guy from that night…
Forget.
Don’t recall that night, I repeated that mantra. Forget it. It became my defense mechanism to just stop thinking whenever my mind would drift out to that night. I’d completely shut down and stopped thinking for a while until I was finally able to breathe with ease.
After a few minutes of silence, he finally spoke as he stopped chopping the food.
“Why didn’t you tell me what the money was for?”
Silence.
I was shocked at his question. What did he mean by that? He knew?
“You said that you overheard our conversation. You should have heard that part,” I replied, and I heard him loudly inhale the air.
“No, I didn’t hear that part.” He gripped the counter, making me gulp. If he comes my way, I run, I then realized.
“How did you find out then?” I asked, and he shook his head.
“Imagine my surprise when my sister arrived at the party and suddenly told me that there is a friend of hers who is going to babysit her daughter in my house. Then she proceeded to tell me that your brother was ill, and some friend of yours lent you money, not to forget the fact that you miraculously had the same name as the girl I paid for one night stand. Putting two and two together wasn’t that hard after that much information.”
Melissa.
That explained everything. I kept looking at him who only chuckled before shaking his head, his back still turned toward me and his hands still gripping the kitchen counter.
“You could’ve at least mentioned what you needed it instead of keeping your mouth shut?” he asked, and my eyes widened. He was so not going there and blaming everything on me! After all he did? It’s none of his business what I decided to do with that money.
“You never asked. You’re equally the one to blame for what happened,” I said through gritted teeth. The nerve of this guy! He took another sharp breath before putting the knife down and suddenly caught me by my shoulders, catching me off guard as my eyes widened.
“And the baby? When did you plan to tell me about the baby, Kaley? Once it was born, started school, or gotten married? Or did you plan to go and get rid of it?” His grip was far from what I’d call gentle, but the reason why I was afraid was not because of it. It was either because he knew that I was pregnant or because I never noticed him walking to my side. With my eyes beginning to tear up, I spoke before I completely broke down.
“Please stop. You’re hurting me.”
When he heard me mumbling that, he seemed to snap out of it and took a step or two away from me. Another silence followed after. During the little time I spent with him, we would always go back to those silent moments. I didn’t like them; they were unpleasant. Almost as if they were bringing forth trouble.
“Sorry,” he said, ashamed of his action, and he returned to chopping food. He hadn’t said a word after that, so I decided to be the one to speak.
“I…I didn’t have any way to contact you.” I don’t know why I was explaining myself to him. “And I haven’t picked abortion as an option…” He made me feel so guilty in front of him. It wasn’t meant to be like this. “Besides, I wasn’t sure of your reaction…You know, if I were to tell you about it.”
“You think I would force you to kill my own child?” he said in disbelief, as he couldn’t grasp it. My eyes widened. Was he fucking kidding me? “Damn it, I am not that heartless! An asshole, I am, but a murderer like…” He suddenly paused, choosing his words. Like what? “I’d never make you do it.” His voice was so low, but something inside of me snapped, making me continue with where I left out.
“Well, considering how you were the last time I was with you, I can’t really take you for a saint…” I left that sentence hang in the air as he lowered his head in shame. I almost followed after him.
Messenger of doom—that’s what those silent pauses were.
He couldn’t have changed overnight. If all people could change that way, then things like war, famine, and misunderstandings would no longer exist in this world. But who was I kidding? We were humans. We never change.
We never learn.
“That time was…different,” he said, unsure of his own words. I rolled my eyes. “I may not be the best person you’ve ever met, but I must be damned if I let my child suffer or live without its father or even worse, dead,” he finally said as he put the indigents in a pot.
From what I could see, he was preparing some type of chicken, probably with mashed potatoes since he had them sliced on the side.
Before I noticed it, there was once again that silence between us. I truly had a feeling that we could only get along when we didn’t speak at all.
“What do you plan on doing now?” he asked, once again breaking the ice our previous argument created. It was a question I wasn’t sure of how to answer, mostly because I really didn’t know what I was going to do myself or because I avoided that theme.
Confused.
Even I was confused about my future.
“I don’t know. I’ll probably find another job if needed, but I can still manage somehow,” I mumbled, looking at my shaky hands. “I still have some of the money left from…You know, then, so…I’ll rent a better place to stay.”
“Damn it, woman!” he said angrily, stabbing the chef’s knife into the cutting board he’s been using. “I…I’ll give you all the money you’re going to need,” he said, and just as I was about to decline, he continued, “I won’t take no for an answer. The mother of my child shouldn’t be worrying about unnecessary things, and I have the intention of having a full part in my kid’s life.”
He spoke with finality. I only turned my head away. Was the whole thing even going to work?
I kind of understood his point of view, though; he was the father even if I didn’t see that coming, that kind of reaction from him. It was probably that part that surprised me the most, the way he accepted the child and planned to be a part of his life so fast when it took me countless debates as to whether should I keep it or not.
“Just to clarify one thing…” What did he want now? “You weren’t with any guy other than me, right?”
Has he just…I gritted my teeth and angrily answered, all rage from earlier came back like I never even calmed down.
“How dare you to ask me such a question? Unlike you, who only womanizes around, I had only slept with you and no one else. I’d planned on keeping myself for my husband, but you ruined that as well, and now, you have the nerve to ask me if this baby is someone else’s?” Fear forgotten, I only had rage in my voice. “I am not the one that told you about it, so you don’t have any right to accuse me of trying to get your attention. It was you who brought this up first!” I yelled at him, feeling a few tears streaming down my cheeks.
Dammit, this man, I hated him!
“I’m a man. What did you expect me to think?” His voice was void of emotions. I couldn’t figure him out. “However, I do believe you. I just…I think I just needed some kind of reassurance from you. Sorry. One more thing about the kid. I don’t want them to have parents living separately. The kid doesn’t deserve that. It was my mistake after all.”
“What do you mean?” I was so confused by him; first, he accused me of getting pregnant by someone else, and now, he believed me. What the hell was wrong with him!
“Move in with me,” he said nonchalantly. I just watched him with a blank expression. He’s gotta be kidding. That guy’s been missing a screw or two in his head. Before I could say anything else, he added, “Your brother as well.”
He couldn’t have been serious. After all that happened, he expected me to just move in and forget everything? Especially with us not being able to stand the other one for even five minutes?
“You don’t have to answer immediately. Take some time. And since you’re already going to have a sleepover here, let me take you to my room so that you can prepare yourself for sleep. Dinner will be ready by the time you finished.”
“Yo-your room?” I stuttered. What he wanted to do, I couldn’t think of any other reason as to why he called me in there but that.
“All other rooms are being renovated, so yeah. Don’t worry, you can take the bed.” He rubbed his neck as I stared at him in disbelief.
Was he for real?
“Bu…But I…you…I mean…” I stuttered.
“I won’t take no for an answer. Just accept the deal. It would be great for you to relax a bit,” he said. I nodded, realizing that his words were final, and sighed.
I didn’t push my luck. Who knew what he could do in anger? Even I understood that I didn’t know a single thing about him but his name and residence.
“Come,” he said as I got up. The hell with everything. I could use a good sleep. From his words earlier, I already knew that Ayden was going to be fine or God help me…
His room was dark, black and white, just like his personality. He took me into led me to the bathroom. It was all red—heck, even the curtains for the shower were a dark crimson red. I was so enchanted by the view that I didn’t even notice him leave and return with a towel and a few clothes.
“This is all I can offer at the moment. I’ll be back in twenty minutes, and if you’re not done by then, I’ll drag you out naked if I have to,” he said, and I nodded as I took hold of the towel and his clothes.
He soon left, and I sighed. That was much scarier than it seemed and much more intimidating than I expected. At least, he wanted the baby. I wouldn’t have problems with it. The only problem I had with that man was his bipolar attitude.
Taking off my clothes, I got into the shower and let myself enjoy the warm water, clearing my head of any thoughts running rampant.
I was in his house, his room, and his bathroom, enjoying the water. This couldn’t get any better, could it? Oh wait, it could. I’d be sleeping in his bed.
Sighing, I got out of the shower, dried myself, and put on the clothes he gave me to wear. It smelled like him, which made me frown, but it was surprisingly very comfortable. My hair was surprisingly neat, so it didn’t pose a problem to me to comb it with his simple accessories. I loved that I didn’t have to deal for minutes with my hair.
Just as I finished, I was interrupted by a knock on the door.
“Dinner is ready. Are you done?” he asked, and I moved to open the doors, letting him in. Seeing me, he nodded before speaking.
“I have a hairdryer there somewhere. Hold on.” I didn’t know what else to do or say but nod. I went back to his room only to see a tray with food and be enchanted by its good aroma. Chicken with mashed potatoes, I was right. Who would’ve thought that Blake had the ability to cook?
“Eat, and I’ll dry your hair. Then go to sleep afterward. I will be in my study if you need anything, okay? Just find Alfred and ask him to lead you to me. But I’ll probably bathe those two first,” he explained, and I nodded. It was much easier than using actual words to reply, so I stuck with that action.
Once he dried my hair and started combing it, I allowed myself to enjoy the food he had prepared. I had to say that I had never tasted something as good as his meal. He seemed much friendlier and a whole lot nicer too, though I had the feeling that it was just because of the baby. I surprisingly didn’t mind him touching my hair. That took me off guard; I hated when people did that.
Did he drug me with liking potion or something?
I sighed. What’s the use of letting it bother me now?
“Done,” he said, and I just finished eating everything at the same moment. He grabbed the plate and gave me a glass of water before heading outside.
Since he was no longer around, I allowed myself to go to sleep.
His bed was definitely the most comfortable thing I ever touched; I would literally kill for it. Lying down, I couldn’t help but gulp seeing how dark his room actually was, so I left the nightstand lamp that was next to the bed on.
It didn’t take me much to fall asleep.
I was still running away. I didn’t know any other way to live. I wasn’t strong enough to face reality nor did I have anyone to do so instead of me. But little did I know that my course of actions was going to change my life forever.
And that the person I was looking for might just have been around the corner.