Never forget that kindness can hurt instead of help.
It was the second time that I woke up without Blake by my side ever since we started sleeping together. But unlike the first time it happened, I knew that things between us were slightly on the bad side. The worst of all, I had a feeling like it was all my fault.
It was my tongue that brought those problems, but then again, Max and Melissa were bound to find out one day. It was our luck—or was it misfortune—that it happened so fast. Maybe it was also for the best, to actually speak to someone about it, because our relationship didn’t start off as a healthy but rather fucked up.
Sighing, I curled myself in a ball under the blankets, my hands wrapping protectively around my belly. My baby’s gender had picked my interest, but all I wanted was for it to be born well and healthy. I hadn’t met it yet, but I was already will to do anything for its sake.
My thoughts wandered to the future. I wanted to know what would it feel like to watch him or her grow up. Celebrate the first birthday? Witness the first walk? School? Right, Ayden is starting school after this summer. He could prepare us for what followed.
“Hey, little one,” I started talking to my belly, gently patting it. They say that babies can hear their mother’s voice while they are still in the womb, and although I knew that our baby was too small for it, I chose to try it out.
“You know, you came to our lives like a bomb shaking, us up, but you know what, little one? You are the reason Momma met Daddy again and fell in love with him.” I rubbed my belly lovingly. On my usually flat stomach now rested a slight bump. The baby was two months old then, so it’s not too prominent. But it was still there, proof that another life was growing in me.
“You know, I’m a bit of scared, though. I know nothing about being a good mother. But even so, I have the feeling that I’ll get to learn it all with Blake by my side once we meet you, outside, in this world. That’s why even though I’m scared. I’m excited and can’t wait to see you already. I’m sure that you’re going to have your daddy and mommy wrapped around your little finger.” I smiled to myself. It was true. How ironic was it that the thing we wanted so much was also what could bring about our downfall? Ebb and flow of life, that’s what wishes and doubts are. You simply can’t have one without the other. You cannot achieve what you truly want if you never doubt your strength to get it.
“What are you doing, munchkin?” It was Blake’s voice that interrupted my speech. He removed the blankets from me. Shrieking, I saw his eyes looking at me adoringly, and I blushed. He didn’t hear all that, did he?
“Umm…You know…” I rambled nervously. “Just stuff…I mean talking stuff…Not to myself, to the baby stuff…I mean…Oh, you know what I mean.” I grabbed the blanket from his hand and hid, curling into a tight ball once again.
And then he laughed wholeheartedly, making me smile a little.
“Shut up. You look intimidating!” I protested. “It’s your fault,” I mumbled. I soon found the blanket removed from my body once again. It was not like he was completely intimidating. It was just that he was distracting my mind in some other way, standing barefoot in his gray trousers and a tight black shirt that my mind couldn’t focus on anything else but on what’s beneath it. I overcame business-like Blake, but normal looking Blake was something too much for my innocent—more like dirty, really—mind.
“Is it now?” he asked and grinned, and I stuck out my tongue. Playful Blake was back. Before I had time to do anything, he suddenly leaned down on the bed and kissed me, tugging on my lips. That made me part my mouth with a gasp, which he used wisely to slip his tongue into my mouth, his hand on my left cheek holding my head as he sat down next to me. His other hand went to my belly as I closed my eyes, enjoying this newfound way of waking up. If he was going to give me this instead of waking by my side for the rest of my life, I approved.
He shifted his body, seating himself in between my legs as his hands found their way on my belly, his lips parting from mine as I loudly inhaled.
Under normal circumstances, I’d find myself scared, trying to escape out of his grasp, but not this time. This time, I had welcomed his touch being way too enchanted by his kiss. He smiled as he nuzzled his nose on mine, and I blushed.
“You’re not scared?” he suddenly asked with a serious voice, and I shook my head.
He made me feel like I was on cloud nine, and he asked if I was afraid of him. Claim my lips once again already, dammit!
“Nope, not anymore,” I said bravely instead, and he rewarded me with a genuine smile of an excited boy—man, in his case. I loved when he was relaxed around me, when he’d lower his guards down, when he would smile from the bottom of his heart.
“Oh, Kaley,” he said before his lips finally claimed mine once again. His hand, the one that was on my belly, pulled my nightgown a little below my breasts, and I loudly inhaled, which he seemed to be aware of.
“It’s alright,” he assured me, and I nodded. “Trust me.” He moved both of his hands around my belly as he landed his lips on it, kissing it.
“Hey, kid.” I realized that he was talking to our baby. “I…have no idea what to say, but I thought if Momma already decided to talk to you, why not do the same?” He chuckled, and I smiled. This was the Blake I fell for.
“Obviously, your mom believes that she’s the only one that’s scared, but trust me that I’m in much worse state than she is,” he said, and I had the urge to cry. He was so innocent. He genuinely cared. “I have no idea how to be a good husband, and much less am I good at being a decent father, but I’ll try. I have your mom, and now I’ll have you too,” he said adoringly, and I felt a tear falling down my cheek, out of joy. Oh, Blake, you already are a wonderful fiancé, you’d also be a great father and husband, can’t you see it?
“She said that we’re going to learn together, and that’s why—” he suddenly stopped, noticing my tears. His head came closer to me, his hands on my side not to crush me. “Hey, why are you crying?” he asked before he pulled me up in sitting position. His hands wrapped around me the way I was already used to. I knew those hands.
“Shh…Don’t cry, munchkin.” He rubbed my back as I hugged him back tightly. I was so freaking glad that I had him.
“Those are happy tears, you idiot.” I sniffed, and he chuckled, “Thank you for being here,” I said, and he hugged me tighter before he planted a kiss on my forehead.
“No, thank you for being here. I seriously have no idea what would I have done if I never met you, you crazy girl,” he said, and I simply nodded. I couldn’t say that he’d probably end up being engaged to Regina, not at this moment when we found out that Ethan’s alive.
“You have gotten tinier. Go take a shower,” he said, parting from me and getting up. “I’ll fetch you something to eat,” he added and was about to leave when I asked, “What about you?”
“What about me?” he asked confused, his lips slightly tugging upward as I blushed.
“Shower, I mean.” That sounded like I was inviting him to join.
Was I?
“Inviting me?” His eyes gleamed with excitement, and I removed my gaze from him. My feet became a rather interesting thing to stare at.
“N–no,” I protested, but then again. “Y–yes.”
He looked surprised for few seconds with his lips parted as he left one almost soundless oh. He certainly didn’t see that coming.
I know Blake. I know. Me neither.
“You sure?” he asked once he recollected his posture, his hand in the pockets while the other was on the cape of his neck. His eyes were glued to me as he observed me, waiting patiently for my next words, and I nodded.
“Y–yeah. Will you join me?” I asked, this time with the confidence in my voice. He had already seen me naked. Why was I so shy about it? The hell with it, we’re saving water!
“Who am I to complain then?” He smiled at me before he came closer and took my arm, leading me into the bathroom as I followed. What have I done?
He suddenly turned around when we were in front of the shower, and he placed his hands on my shoulder. I patiently waited as he pulled the straps down my hand, allowing the nightgown to fall freely on the ground.
He inhaled so loud that I could hear the sound air made when it passed through his teeth. I gulped. I wasn’t wearing a bra, only my panties beneath. I contemplated if I should run back to the room or stay with him. I chose the latter when he took off his shirt, and my eyes couldn’t move from his well-defined front. He put it away, and I gulped. He took off his trousers in one swift movement and turned back to me, his eyes raking over my body. I mirrored his actions.
“We can keep them or take them off. You choose,” he said, and I don’t know what took over my body when I suddenly took them off, making him gulp. With my arms by my side and my body stiff, I anticipated what was to come. His lips had parted before they closed a few times. He wanted to say something. I grew nervous. His hands moved to his boxers and tugged on them. I almost fainted. I turned around, letting him completely take the rest of his clothes off. No way in hell was I going to continue to watch him strip. Suddenly, he gripped my waist from behind, and I felt his breath on my neck, which made me forget about mine.
“Kaley, I’m going to start the water,” he whispered in my ear, making goosebumps appear all over my neck as I straightened my spine. What he did to me…
“Be good, and wait here for a second. Don’t run away because I will definitely catch you,” he continued before he landed a soft kiss on my neck, which brought me back to my senses, and I continued to breathe. I heard him groan as he pulled away from me, almost making me fall on my feet. I put my hand on the wall, steadying myself. I tried to calm down, reminding myself that we were only going to take a shower, not…not…
Not...
Holy fudge, I’ll have to have sex with Blake on our honeymoon!
Oh my God, what was I going to do? How should I approach him when the time comes? No longer did I worry about the shower as my thought lingered on the unavoidable future ahead of me.
“Kaley, are you ready?” I heard his voice. Before I had a chance to say anything, he looked out of shower cubicle. His eyes darkened with lust, and I gulped.
Maybe it was a bad idea after all?
“Umm, yeah,” I mumbled before stepping just in front of him, ready to enter the shower. He chuckled, regaining his composure before offering me a hand and moving aside so I could enter. I gladly yet hesitantly took it as I stepped in and immediately shook my head from the water hitting my face.
I tried not to look at Blake’s body as I stood with my back to him. I couldn’t believe I had actually done that. I was having a shower with my soon-to-be-husband who I was going to sleep with on my honeymoon. Whether he expected it or not, I knew it was something I had to do on my own volition. The best thing was I was so comfortable around him that I didn’t even try to run away.
Maybe, just maybe, it actually wasn’t a bad idea after all.
“Penny for your thoughts?” he asked me, and I blushed. His hand moved my hair from my back to my shoulder. I still couldn’t dare to turn around and face him.
“Umm, nothing really. Just thinking about our wedding,” I quickly mumbled and heard him hum.
Good one, Kaley.
“Don’t worry too much about it,” he assured me. “I’ll take proper care of you.” Somehow, though he intended to sound nice and pure, my understanding of his words went a completely different route to which I weakly smiled.
Bad idea or good idea, which was it?
“Oh, and by the way, we have an appointment at Max’s in two days, remember?” he asked, and I also smacked my head. I forgot about that.
“Now, I do,” I sheepishly mumbled, ashamed of it. One of his arms went to massage my neck while the other went to my belly, my back still turned to him.
“Oh my.” He chuckled when his hand that was on my neck brushed past my face to take a shower gel. “This is one way of taking care of you, too,” he mumbled, and I pulled my legs closer to each other, fighting the warmth that started to grow between them.
“Turn around. Don’t be ashamed,” he chuckled, and I reluctantly nodded before doing so. I gulped while I tried to keep my eyes on his face. He smiled as he poured the gel on his hands, then on my head.
His hands moved in a circle motion, massaging my hair and scalp, and I exhaled enjoying this moment. It was so good and relaxing, almost like I was in heaven.
“Having some fun there, aren’t you?” he asked, and me being too lazy to open my eyes or talk, I simply left one mmm. His hands soon went to my neck before washing my whole body. My body trembled when he went to my no-no parts. I was sure I was red as a tomato when he kneeled down to wash my lower part and said that I had a nice butt. I even had to put my hands on the shower glass so I would not fall because trust me, that man’s hands loved to go everywhere down to the last inch of my skin.
Why was I so nervous? I didn’t know. Calm down, Kaley Evansville soon-to-be-Blackburn. That actually had a nice ringing to it.
“Kaley Blackburn,” I mumbled and smiled, thinking about it for the first time.
“That sounds nice. It’s like I was fated for you to marry me,” Blake said, and I grinned, opening my eyes. He had rinsed my hair and his hands by now.
“It does,” I agreed, and he chuckled.
“What am I going to do with you, my little, beautiful fiancée?” He shook his head, and I stuck out my tongue, which he grabbed in one swift movement, making my eyes go wide.
“Tsk, tsk, tsk.” He scowled, and I groaned. “Be nice. That’s not lady-like at all,” he said, and I wanted to tell him that I was by no means a lady, but he still held my tongue in a place, so I chose not to.
“Fwy!” I said, which was actually supposed to be fine, but given the situation I’m in…Go figure.
“Was that ‘fuck you’ I heard you say?” he said, and my eyes widened, realizing that it sounded like that.
“Wo, way wew fwy?” I rambled and wondered if he understood my no-I-said-fine excuse, to which he only raised his eyebrow before letting go of my tongue.
“I said fine,” I told him, and he only patted my head like I was some kind of pet. Very funny!
“Die!” was all I could say. He suddenly turned off the water, and I looked at him quizzically.
“What?” he asked.
“What about you? Shouldn’t I, you know…you as well?” I asked, confused. We were taking a shower together, not just me.
“Looking for an excuse to touch me, munchkin?” he asked, and I was about to reply when he continued, “Don’t worry. I already took a shower while you were sleeping.” He grinned sheepishly.
That little!
“You…” I didn’t know what to say.
“Genius? I know. I’ll be making you something for breakfast, and you put some clothes on, alright?” he asked, and I nodded, defeated. In less than a minute, he was shirtless with a towel around his neck while wearing the same trousers from earlier. I guess that he was fresh from the shower when I woke up earlier.
I frowned when I noticed that all I did during the same time was put a towel around my head and another around my body like a dress.
Why was I not a guy? Being a girl was so complicated.
“Go dress yourself. I’ll be waiting for you downstairs,” he said before kissing my lips and then my forehead, making me blush once again.
Only Blake.
He soon left me, and I went to look for some clothes to wear. But not feeling like my clothes were enough for me, I simply grabbed my underwear and one of Blake’s black t-shirts and shorts. I thought that would do just fine. Looking at my funny reflection in the mirror, I nodded, removed the towel, and used it to dry my head. Easier part done. Then I had to comb it.
There was nothing I hated more than it, but being a girl meant to deal with it as well. At least, I won’t be having my period for the next seven months.
Hooray for the pregnancy!
Since it was still winter, I went back to the bathroom and used a hair dryer to finish my job and…Let’s just say that my hair looked like it got hit by lighting, so I just tied it in a high ponytail. That would do.
Coming downstairs, I came face to face with an ashamed Blake looking at the ground and Melissa and Max glaring at him.
“What’s going on?” I asked even though I knew the answer. I should’ve since my outburst from the day before was probably the reason why they came.
“Kaley, come. You’re going with us,” Melissa said, and I simply raised my eyebrows, looking dumbstruck. Going with them? Where?
“What?” I asked.
“There’s no way in hell I’m letting you go from me,” Blake suddenly said, and I was with him on that one. Who’d leave him?
“I understand, Kaley, that you’re probably scared of him, which is the reason you can’t leave him and are forced to marry him, but trust me, we’ll prot—” she started again, and this time, I interrupted her. I knew this day would come, but I didn’t expect her to meddle so much in my business.
How dare she to decide things in my place?
“What the hell are you talking about? I’m not leaving Blake, and I am not afraid of him!” I yelled back at her.
“Kaley, look. I know how it feels to be afraid to escape from him. Trust me, I know that feeling with every pore in my body, but—” she started, yet once again I interrupted her.
“I am not afraid of him, Mel. For God’s sake, I love him!” I protested. Why did she have to put her nose where it didn’t belong? I was no longer a child that didn’t know what to do with my life. I was a woman that knew precisely what to expect in my future. And the future I wanted was nowhere else but with Blake.
“Stockholm syndrome,” she mumbled, and my eyes widened while Max stood aside, not saying a word. She could not have seriously thought that I was crazy?
“What? Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me right now? You think I’m crazy?” I yelled at her, and her eyes widened. I went downstairs and stood by Blake’s side.
“I didn’t mean it that way, I—” she started.
“Oh, I’m pretty sure you did!” I snapped, breathing angrily. What the hell was wrong with her? Couldn’t she just leave me alone? I already left that behind in my past. Why couldn’t she do the same? It was not like our life was her concern. I was trying to move on here, and I regretted believing that I should’ve said that to someone else. They simply dragged me back to my past.
“Kaley, look—”
“Melissa, you are my sister, and I love you. But can’t you see what are you doing to Kaley? Have you ever seen her this stressed?” To my shock, Blake joined our conversation. I was grateful for that. She, on the other hand, had a different opinion. She glared at him once again.
“Shut up, Blake! If it weren’t for you—”
“Ayden would be dead long ago,” I added, annoyed with her blaming Blake for everything. If this conversation happened a month ago, then I would have probably left with her the instant she asked me to. I loved Blake. I finally gave into him and would never leave him no matter what. I finally accepted my past and started to live in the present, and no way in hell was I going to let anyone drag me back to my past, not even my best friend.
“Kaley—”
“Don’t Kaley me, Mel. This isn’t even of your concern. I decided to marry Blake on my own. And I love him! It’s not I have fucked up Stockholm crap or some mental problem. I simply love Blake just as you love Max but are too afraid to admit it!” I thought I went too far, but it was too late.
“Wow,” she started.
“Melissa, I get it that you’re afraid of love after what happened to you…But Max isn’t like him, and I’m not like you. Not everyone is Ethan,” my voice softened. “And you don’t have to worry about Blake hurting me because he won’t. He loves me too, so please drop this talk. What happened had happened long ago, and I already forgot about it all. Please, Melissa,” I begged her, and after some time of debating, she sighed.
“Fine, but I want to know everything that happened, alright?” she asked, and I nodded. I may exclude some details from that night, but I could still give her some details on what’s going on.
“That was intense,” Max suddenly said. “I thought that I’ll have to interrupt in the end, but you handled it just fine.” If I learned something about Max, that is he always waited to hear stories from different sides before coming to some conclusion. That’s why I liked him. He’d never judge a person by what he heard from someone else. However, I do recall him looking angry and clenching his teeth when I came downstairs. Maybe it’s because the similar thing happened to the one he loved. I didn’t know.
I was ignorant to things and people around me. I rarely bothered with trying to understand. I didn’t need to.
“I’m sorry, Kaley. It was not my business and Blake…I’m sorry for saying everything,” she honestly apologized to which Blake only nodded and sighed.
“Now, that that’s cleared up. Are you guys up for breakfast?” I asked, trying to lighten up our mode.
“Sure.” Max was the first to join me, and I threw him a grateful smile as he grinned. “Who cooked?” he asked, and Mel also nodded her head.
“The only one among us that knows how to cook,” I said, pointing toward Blake. Sure, I could make some sandwiches and lunches Ryan taught me, but making fast breakfast wasn’t really my style. Unless you wanted burnt eggs and meat glued all over your pan.
What can I say? That thing hated me?
“I’m in!” Max exclaimed before rushing in the kitchen, and Mel followed after him, reluctant to leave us alone together. I could feel that she was really thinking about my words, those about her loving Max and him not going to hurt her included. She’d glance now and then at him.
Someone had to tell her that, and I’m glad I did.
“You okay?” I asked Blake once we were left alone.
“Yeah.” He sighed, and I hugged him from behind, inhaling his smell. I had a thing for the cologne he wore. I give it half the credit for me falling for Blake.
“Don’t dwell too much on her words, Blake. She’s just scared and confused,” I told him, and he turned around, hugging me as well.
“I know, just…I have a feeling like she’s right,” he mumbled and leaned on my tiptoes to kiss his lips quickly. When I moved away, he kissed my forehead.
“Maybe she was…But I know that I did the right thing to tell her that and to love you, you silly, multi-tasking billionaire CEO,” I joked, waving my head dramatically.
“Your choice of words never fails to amaze me, munchkin.” He chuckled as he headed toward the kitchen. I followed.
“Why, thank you, kind sir. I learned from the best,” I joked, making him grin.
“How will I survive with you next to me forever?” he wondered.
“Look at the bright side,” I said. “At least, we’re not vampires, so you don’t have to live with me for that long.”
“Thank God we’re not,” he joked, and we both started laughing. It was all perfect…up to some point.
My mind once again drifted to the thought of our honeymoon and the fact that I would probably have to have sex with Blake.
And once again, he interrupted my thoughts.
“Nice clothes, by the way.”
We think that everything will end as soon as we come to a solution for a problem. No, we believe in that outcome because we don’t want to go through it ever again.
But little do we know that the very problem we had just solved was nothing but the beginning to something grander.