When you’re about to release an arrow, what do you do? You pull it back before letting it forward. The same goes for life. So it’s certain that when life puts you in bad situations, it’s about to launch you into something good.
Waking up to reality with a headache is something we all hate, but we do it again and again. Most of the time, it’s after we get wasted on some party. However, that wasn’t my problem at the moment. My headache was caused by other reasons.
Unknown reasons.
“So what’s wrong with her, doc? Is it something serious?” I heard a guy’s voice in the background ask.
My eyes felt heavy. I wondered what happened. I definitely hadn’t been in some party and got drunk, so…Oh right, I fainted. Wait, who’s that guy? Doctor? Was I in the hospital?
“Say, Max, are you her boyfriend? Moreover, I’m disappointed in you. That’s your profession, so how come you don’t get it?” another voice asked. Who was that? Wait, was I really in the hospital then? Hold on. Boyfriend? And what did he mean by profession? Was he an expert in fainting? No, wait, Max? What was Max doing here?
“Yes, I…Somehow—wait, what? No way!” Max said in disbelief, and I groaned trying to open my eyes. Oh, you little. It was one thing to joke with me on a daily basis, but to present yourself to other people as my partner was an entirely different deal.
“Yes way, so are you or not?” the doctor asked, and just as I opened my eyes, I closed them immediately because of their sensibility to the light.
Damn. How unlucky could I be?
I prayed that Max won’t say yes to the doctor’s question, for his sake, not mine. Because once I get my hands on him…
“Yeah,” he said, and for some reason, I surprisingly got the strength I needed to open my eyes. Oh, now he’s done.
“Alright then. From what I can see, she hasn’t been eating properly. I can see a lack of vitamins in her body. You know that this is a critical period for her, and…” He stopped when I groaned louder, hoping that they would notice after I let my eyes adjust to my surroundings. White ceilings, white walls, white everything…I was there once again. I really loathed hospitals, and it took me all of my willpower not to escape right that moment.
“He’s not my boyfriend. I don’t have one,” I stated. My throat was dry; it had been killing me, and this guy thought he could come in here and say whatever he wanted and listen to my problems? I remembered throwing up. No wonder I had a feeling like someone ripped out my throat. I shot a meaningful glare at Max’s way. If looks could kill, he’d be under the ground for a long time.
“Aww, why are you so cruel to me, Kay? I can have an imaginary relationship with you,” he said. I was going to kill him! I didn’t care if I ended up going to hell and jail for that, but he did not just pose as my boyfriend in the hospital like it was no big deal.
“Max, right now I am contemplating whether I’ll be cutting one or both of your balls.” Although I sounded like a dying hyena, I managed to grin, and I saw him gulp and turn pale. I then started coughing, destroying my act before giving up. Killing later, relieving my thirst now.
“W-water…” I choked out, and he immediately went to pour me one. The doctor, I assumed he was one since he was the only one in white coat in the room, was glancing between the two of us in confusion before he shook his head. He put away the papers he held in his arms, took some weird lamp, and pointed it to my eye.
“Follow the light,” he instructed, and I tried to before he turned it off and moved his finger instead of it. I knew what he was doing, checking my brain activity. For a time when my parents were still alive, I wanted to be a doctor, and I used to get fevers intentionally so my father could take care of me and spend his time teaching me. He was a doctor, and my mom was a housewife.
I missed those times.
“Do you recall what happened?” he asked, and I nodded. More or less. My head was killing me just like my throat, but I did my best to give him a clear reply.
“I fainted on my work. I was feeling rather ill. I’ve had got a headache and then threw up before fainting. That’s all I remember so far,” I said, and he nodded. He checked my heartbeat as Max finally came with the water.
Thank heavens. I immediately drank it as the doctor continued with tests to make sure that I was alright.
“So she’s not going to die?” Max suddenly asked, and I glared at him.
Couldn’t he spread his negativity somewhere that’s not around me?
“Max, I swear to everything that’s holy to you, I’ll suffocate you with pillows!” I threatened, and the doctor only chuckled. He was rather calm. Max wasn’t so polite around him, making me wonder if they knew each other.
“You wouldn’t. Admit it. You’d want a lot of mini-mes running around,” he said, and I chuckled.
“Yeah right. Like one of you isn’t enough for my life to be miserable,” I joked with him, completely forgetting that there was a doctor in the room.
“You know you love me,” Max argued.
“Do not!”
“Do too!”
“Do not!”
“Do too!”
“Do not!”
“Do too!”
“Alright, you two, stop this banter,” the doctor said with finality. “This is a hospital, and you’re both adults. I suggest you both act like it.”
Uh-oh, he was mad. Max and I both muttered our apologies looking down, both feeling extremely childish.
“Since you don’t have any relation with the patient—” he started again. I interrupt him.
“Imaginary doesn’t count.” And he then turned to glare at me. Talk about not having a sense of humor or a funny bone in his body. Ha, funny bone!
“You must step out of the room,” he finished, and Max pouted but got out, anyway. No one wins the war with me.
“So what is wrong with me doctor?” I finally asked once I made sure that Max was no longer in this room. Nervousness kicked in, and I started twiddling my thumbs together. Don’t tell me I have some illness like Ayden. That will be too twisted for someone like me.
“Do you have a boyfriend or a husband?” he asked, looking through a set of papers in his hands.
“What? No. Why do you ask?” What kind of doctor is he? Wait, is he trying to flirt with me?
“I see. There’s a way to solve your problem. I can’t legally tell you what you should do, but I recommend you to take few weeks to think about it. But the faster you make a decision, the better. Though, I wouldn’t even think of it in your place. But truth be told, it’s up to you after all,” he started, but once again, I interrupted him.
“What do you mean?” What is he talking about? Why wasn’t he just getting to the point so that I could get out of here?
“You are pregnant, but it’s just as I have said, don’t rush this over. I have a daughter your age, and I’d still support her no matter what if she were in your place. So I’d suggest you take some time and eventually talk with the father of the baby, whoever he might be,” he spoke again, but I paid no attention to what he said after those words. I was pregnant. And just eighteen. The name I was trying to forget came back to me, reminding me of those blue eyes, haunting me: Blake. It was his child. The man I hated the most. The man that walked into my life taking my pride and leaving me wounded, hurting me more than I’ve ever been hurt in my life. I didn’t notice my tears until I heard the doctor calling my name.
“Are you alright?” he asked, and I nodded and asked him if he was sure. He confirmed.
“From the blood test we took, we found hormones you can only find in pregnant women. It’s impossible for them to be released in blood if an embryo hasn’t been created,” he said, and I nodded, closing my eyes and biting my lip. Oh God. What were the chances of that happening to me? It had been just one night. Who the hell gets pregnant after just one night? I tried not to cry. No, I promised not to cry anymore. I couldn’t cry.
“It’s okay. Seeing the times we live in today, many young pregnant women fear the consequences of having to raise a baby, especially if they are alone. That’s precisely why I’d recommend you to talk through this with the father. Also, you should speak with your parents. I’m sure that they’ll be a great support. They might get angry at the beginning, but don’t worry too much—they all do. But they’ll eventually come to see the bigger picture and shower you with love like they’d always do,” he continued, and I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I didn’t have parents to comfort me. I was all alone.
Sure, I had Ryan, Melissa, and Ayden, but I didn’t know how could I speak about this with them. And Blake…What use will there be in trying to get to him, anyway? He will probably just get angry if he finds out that he will have a child out of nowhere.
Mask.
That’s precisely what I put. I faked a smile before thanking him and telling him that I’ll do just that. I had been hiding my true feelings for so long then that I felt like I might lose who I really was.
For two years, I had been faking that I was fine. After Ayden had gotten ill and I slept with Blake for money, I had been faking that I was fine. Even when I had no damn idea as to what to do, I still faked that I was fine.
Which would eventually turn out to be my downfall.
After he had left, Max came in not too long after with a frown on his face.
“That doc is such a pain in the butt. He was glaring at me all the way down the hall like I’d killed his cat. I did it once actually. The damn thing slept the night in my car. I haven’t seen it. That aside, did you tell him something about me? And to think I thought of you as my…Are you alright?” He stopped dead in his tracks, rushed toward me, and sat on the edge of the bed.
I just couldn’t take it anymore; it was too much for me. First that, now a baby, like it wasn’t enough that I had nightmares of that hellish night, of that night I cursed with my soul. I couldn’t even do nothing about it, so I cried.
For me being so young and going through so much, for my brother, for my parents, for the baby! His baby! A baby I didn’t know if I could even take care of. And for the life I had, for me not deserving it, for the aunts I had that wanted nothing but money.
I stopped pretending to be strong in a world that didn’t care about me and allowed myself to replace numbness with pain. And I accepted it gladly. So I did something any other person would in my place. I hugged Max and cried on his chest.
He didn’t say a word, but instead, he just hugged me back and whispered all kind words to me, but I was too busy thinking about past events to realize what was he saying to me.
And so I cried.
And cried.
Hoping that was all just another nightmare I would soon wake up from.
We all run from the present we don’t know how to deal with, eventually letting it become another part of our past. But we only realize it once it becomes too late: one way or another, past will catch up to us when we expect it the least.