We often fall in love with the most unexpected people at the most unexpected time.
I officially hated Blake.
Out of all things he could’ve done to me, he chose the one I utterly despised the most from the deepest parts of my soul—shopping. If I were some type of person, then it’s most definitely the one who hated shopping. I could seriously go for years with clothes I had until they grew too small or got destroyed. But buy new ones? That simply didn’t sit well with me. Why? No idea.
I just hated walking for hours.
I’d take any dress Blake chose for me, but he was even worse than women shopping clothes on sale.
Speaking of the devil…
“Nope, nope, nope,” Blake continued. He turned his sight to the opposite side in the shopping store. “Nah, no, too classy, too revealing, too modern, too red!” he exclaimed the last one with eyes wide open. Indeed, that was the reddest red I saw in my life, and I was not exaggerating at all. Even Mrs. Claus wouldn’t wear it.
“Just pick any. I’m sure it will be alright,” I told him for what felt like the millionth time that day. But he just shooed me away with his hand. Yes, without even looking at my poor exhausted self. He continued his search for the dress I was supposed to wear. I didn’t even know where we were. I didn’t pay much attention to it, believing that we wouldn’t even stay inside for five minutes, but Blake obviously had another plan.
While he was busy disliking all those dresses in the shop as every women and worker were swooning and buzzing around him; I decided to go for the first time in my life and join the search.
You know the good old saying, if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.
Rummaging lifelessly through the mass of neatly placed dresses, I came across a wonderful blue gown. It was a gradated blue dress that went from dark blue to sky blue—simple, but I liked it. As its beauty mesmerized me, I decided to try it on.
Maybe it won’t be that bad. I was not the worst ugly duckling in the world, though I wasn’t the richest one either.
Once I finished putting the dress on, I stepped out of the changing room and turned to see myself in a mirror.
I could pass as a human being.
I have never seen myself looking so elegant like I was really someone suited for a rich guy like Blake. I twirled around a few times because I actually felt like a real girl and just couldn’t take my eyes away from the mirror.
“We’re taking it.” I suddenly heard Blake who appeared behind me, making me remember my whole Batman reference when I met Alfred and couldn’t help but chuckle. “And by the way, you look gorgeous. Actually, saying that you look gorgeous would be a complete understatement. You’re far more beautiful than it,” he said, igniting the blush I fought from showing.
“Thanks,” I mumbled as he came closer to me, kissed my hand, and hugged me.
This felt…strange. Good, but strange. I once again wondered why we were so close and why I didn’t mind it.
“Umm, Blake…” It was still kind of awkward. I didn’t know Blake well enough to become all buddy with him. After all, the way the two of us met was just too…
“Shh, don’t speak or move…You’re the first woman I’ve hugged in a long time…after her,” he mumbled the last part silently, but I was able to comprehend it. Her? Did he mean the woman on his laptop background? Was she a girlfriend of his? Did he love her?
I started feeling weird things after I met Blake, and this was one of them—jealousy. I have never even been in love nor have I liked someone, so I never had to feel that type jealousy, but now I do.
No…I was just lying to myself.
I was jealous of other people when I saw them have things I didn’t, I admit. I was so angry at life—God even, for taking everything from me. I just wanted to be a normal girl. I was angry at other people when I saw them arguing with their families because they seemed like they didn’t treasure what they still had. I was so jealous when I saw them carelessly chatting with them, thinking how I’d give everything just to be in their place once more? Why was I the one who had to suffer? Why couldn’t that misfortune fall on any of them instead?
Grief works like that. We wonder what we could’ve done to change it. We ask ourselves: had we done something differently, would we get a different outcome? We see what we could have had in others, and it eats us from the inside. We want to think so. No, we prefer to grieve instead of having it easier.
Easier? It’s not even that. We just want to mask our pain with numbness, and that’s precisely what grief leads to. Nothing more, nothing less. Just a silent and slow death of our broken selves.
As for Blake…He’d always manage to awaken something deep in me—be those good or bad things—but things that made me take a deep breath and start thinking again. There was no running from him. Just when I’d think that I made it, he was already right behind me.
And now I…I began to think that I was falling for him. But I couldn’t, I absolutely couldn’t.
For that kind of one-sided love would only hurt me, or even worse, he could toy with my feelings, and I didn’t want to feel that. As I was too preoccupied with my thoughts, I felt his hand on my back gently undoing the zipper of my dress.
“There, now go and change. There’s much more to search for,” he said as he gently guided me back toward the changing room. I pushed all my thoughts from earlier away.
Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it. Don’t…
“What?” I asked confused as I blinked few times. He did that to me. I didn’t know how to deal with the things he’d make me feel.
Don’t think about it. Forget.
“Weren’t we here just for this dress?” I asked, getting a grip on myself.
“You didn’t really think that one dress could solve it all? Sweetheart, it’s a family dinner. You’ll meet my grandpa, so you’ll have to be nice and dandy,” he replied and grinned as I watched him, terrified. He couldn’t be serious. No. Seriousness aside, did he just use that weird dandy word? Mister businessman and serious? No, that wasn’t the problem either.
“Wh-why…What, when?” He didn’t say anything about that.
“Remember that party for Christmas tonight? Bad news is that it is going to be in the Blackburns’ residence where my granddad is,” he said having that please-don’t-say-no-because-even-I-can’t-get-away-with-it look that I almost pitied him. Was his relationship with his family just as bad as Melissa’s?
“Ayden’s suit is already prepared. You’re the only one that’s left.”
Wait, Ade got a suit? How come I was the only unprepared one for this? Right, I was not really interested in socializing and planning things. I have that annoying habit of mine to simply shut myself off from the world.
“Ade?”
“Yes, we bought him a suit for tonight. He’s part of our family now, so he has to go as well. Besides, Amy is coming too, so it was easy for him to decide if he wanted to tag along.” He chuckled, and I joined him. That’s so like Ade.
“But do I really have to go through all this shopping?” I pouted, and he nodded without even a second of hesitation. Satan!
Just as I was about to try to say something to get away from all the torture shopping would have brought along, my stomach literally made a growling sound, showing yet another problem I had been trying to hide for a while, more like never planning it, since I thought we’d be done faster.
I was hungry.
And I had a feeling that the baby was definitely going to like food a lot.
“Hey there, little one. Are you hungry?” Blake said, suddenly going down on one knee and patting my tummy. I blushed as an elderly couple passed by, overhearing their conversation.
“Oh, John, just look how cute they are. She must be pregnant! Why didn’t you ever get down on your knee for me when I was pregnant?” the elderly woman asked jokingly, and the husband groaned.
“I got on my knee once when I asked for your hand. Shouldn’t that be enough for you Elizabeth?”
“Well…That’s something else…” I lost track of their conversation when I noticed Blake’s face in front of mine. Our lips were so close. Could it be he wanted to kiss me? I felt his warm minty breath on my lips as I slowly began to lose my sense, wanting nothing else but to touch them. It’s as if he was enchanting me, so silently yet so powerfully, and I willingly let my head lean in.
Was I ready for this? His face was so close to mine that only less an inch separated our lips from touching.
Kiss him.
I threw away all radical thought and obeyed only that one thought in my mind. I was definitely kissing him no matter the consequences.
“What the heck!” I yelled once his hand harshly bumped my head…Again.
“Will you stop zoning out at least once in your entire life?” And with that, he scowled at me once again. “Hurry up and get changed. I’ll have Mel chose the rest of your necessities. We’re off to eat,” he said and closed the doors of my changing cabinet, leaving me alone. I couldn’t believe I almost kissed him, that primitive idiot!
Moreover, he just acted like none of it happened. Didn’t he notice the tension between…Or was it just my mind playing games with me. Why did I even bother?
There’s no way he’d ever love me. What was there to love, anyway? Why was I even feeling something?
Blake being Blake, he chose a classy restaurant as I could only sigh while giving him a hidden glare for bringing me to a place like that. Not only did I not know how to act like a lady, but I also most definitely didn’t look like one in those oversized clothes I didn’t bother changing out of when we left the house. Did I forget to mention that everyone around looked like they just walked on the red carpet in all those suits and dresses? Except for Blake who was wearing a casual black leather jacket, white shirt, and black jeans but somehow still managed to look like a boss.
I wondered if it was natural or he got that look over time.
“Table for two please,” he said as the woman working there fixed her chest and flipped her hair, desperately trying to grab his attention. I didn’t even bother complaining or trying to say something. He was not mine—more or less. He, on the other hand, seemed unfazed by her actions, grabbed my hand, and pulled me toward our table. He was a good-looking guy of high social status. I understood why the woman was interested in him. He looked like a good chance. And as for me? What was that I liked about him?
Except for making me feel alive.
But it wasn’t something I should think about. It’s Blake, and I didn’t even know him well to think like that. Was I just blindly jumping to conclusions that I liked him and was falling for him? I was never in love; I said it myself. How could I be so sure that it wasn’t just some stupid momentary feeling I had for him?
I was just eighteen. What the fuck did I know about love?
As we were walking, I decided to start a conversation. Questions about my feelings were driving me insane. I was willing to say anything just to get my mind off them.
“So.” I coughed intentionally. “You’re using me to escape from that woman? That’s so mean,” I joked, and he grinned.
Here came the playful Blake full of comebacks I liked.
“You’re not just a pretty image, you know. You can be a useful weapon when needed,” he replied, making me chuckle.
“Such a gentleman as always, I see.” I enjoyed times like these when I could talk with him relaxed, when I could joke with him. Conversations with him were nothing like those I had when talking with Ryan, Stacy, or Mel. I’d lose myself in conversations with them but Blake…With him I enjoyed every single moment, I remembered every single word.
“I already told you that I’m a gentleman only when…”
“Excuse me, but I see tons of ladies here, so that’s not a valid excuse you have there.” I chuckled. Not this time.
“You’re the only girl around I see in my eyes. There are no others,” he said, finally making me blush. How did we end up like that? One minute he would be really nice and fun, then the next he would be an ass, then went back to being nice again. He was going to give me an emotional whiplash. It’s like he was the one pregnant! Or it was just my inability to judge his emotions because of my own pregnancy?
“Here you go.” He moved my chair back, allowing me to sit.
“And so the long lost chivalry is back. What took you so long?” He then laughed. It wasn’t one of his chuckles, mischievous grins, or even smirks…It was a real wholehearted, genuine laugh—a laugh I had never heard from Blake before.
“Why, kind-hearted girl, you really know how to make me feel better,” he said as he sat and looked over the menu. “I have a feeling that tonight’s going to be a great night.”
“And I that it’s going to be a disaster,” I mumbled, and he chuckled.
“Don’t be such a pessimist. You’ll die too young that way. If I were like you, I’d probably become a lawyer myself. Or an engineer.” He threw his head back as I groaned, wanting to go back to sleep already. Call me lazy, but I wasn’t really thrilled about the fact that my night was going to end up in ruins before I got my happily ever after.
“I’m not a pessimist. I’m just stating the truth I can bet with my own life will actually happen,” I said. He only shook his head. It’s his opinion that everything will end well, just like when he proposed to me.
Some proposal, that was.
“My, my, who am I about to marry?” he said, making me roll my eyes. Now you see what I had been feeling for the last few days.
“Hey, that’s my line to say!” I hit his arm jokingly across the table.
“We are supposed to share everything in marriage, remember?”
“We’re not married yet, remember?” I mocked him with his own words. That made him frown before he looked like something clicked in his mind, and I braced myself for his next words.
“Well then, I decided. I am marrying you in one month,” he said, and I’m sure my mouth dropped to the floor. “You’re going to regret those words you just said,” he said and showed me his tongue. Did he just…
“Now, shall we order?” he asked as I shook my head in disbelief.
“Do I have a say?”
“You don’t agree with the date?” He frowned, raising his eyebrow, and I started wondering if this guy knew a single thing about relationships.
“Date? Oh right, we never had a date!” I said completely forgetting his question as I came to realize that I was going to marry without going on a single date for my entire life.
Holy…
“Okay.” He frowned again. Was the only thing his face could do frown?
“Then I’ll take you to one in a few days. After New Year, if that’s okay with you,” he said, and I nodded.
I just wanted one date. I wanted to have something to tell our kid if he or she asks for date advice.
“Blake, is that you?” some guy said, coming closer to us. Wanting to avoid attention for as much as possible, I took a menu for myself and tried to comprehend a single French word in it. But then I saw the prices. Prices that had way too much of zeros to be good.
“Michael, I haven’t seen you since our project in London,” Blake replied curtly and shortly, going back to his business self, and I almost glared at him. I was having fun with not-so-often-playful Blake.
But boy was that other guy persistent to know me.
***
“I can’t do this,” I said while Blake played with my hair and smiled without a single care in the world. Why was he so calm? How could he be so calm? We were going toward our demise!
“Yes, you can. Just relax and be yourself,” he replied. Myself? They’d faint from that! Get heart attacks! Especially if they were all classy and demanding as he was.
It was already half past seven, and we were supposed to be there at eight. But with me knowing nothing about makeup, a problem arose, which made us late with preparations. The worst thing was that I just finished bathing, and I was in nothing but a towel in front of Blake who didn’t really care being too mortified that I didn’t even bother to fix my hair. Yeah, I’m a cavewoman. Deal with it.
He had already finished on his side, and I had to admit that I’d give him 10/10 for that look he managed to pull out. Black color really suited the color of his deep sky blue eyes. And what really threw me off was when he started fixing my hair before Mel arrived to work on my makeup. Let’s just say that she was even more mortified when she heard how behind I was with preparations.
“There, all done. When we were younger, Ma-Mel always asked me to do a lot of her hairstyles, so I became good at this. Now, hurry up and put your dress on before I do something I may regret.” And with that, he patted my head and left the room. Hot, yes, but he was also scary as hell and a total ass sometimes. That black suit didn’t do anything but only make him feel more distant from me like we were on completely parallel lines. I had a feeling like I was playing with fire far out of my level and that I was going to get burnt once everything ended.
Seeing him leave, I decided to put my dress on. When I finished, I decided to look in the mirror, and I was stunned by what I saw. Blake curled my hair and tied it to one side with a shiny blue butterfly that perfectly matched my dress. But where did he find? And when?
“Here I am, time to…Oh my gosh!” It was Melisa that suddenly stormed in through the doors, always the one with a dramatic entrance. “You look like a queen! Well, you will be once I’m done with you.” And with that, she dragged me back on the bed and started her magic on my face. What did I get myself into?
Half an hour later, we heard a knock on the door.
“Hurry up, or we’ll be late—no, we’re late already! It’s eight,” I heard him say.
That one was my bad, really.
“We’re almost there,” Mel yelled back, and then she asked me, “So that date a month ago, it was with Blake?” I nodded, defeated. I couldn’t really tell her what happened, so I’ll go along with the “date.” Something seemed to click in her head, but she quickly covered it with a smile and said, “We’re done.”
I didn’t have time to check myself since she immediately ushered me through the doors and into Blake, who luckily caught me before we fell. This gave Mel an opportunity to escape, leaving us both alone.
“Are you all right?” he asked, and I nodded before moving my head from his chest. Lifting my head to face him, I found him staring at me, and I was about to say something to break the tension.
He was faster this time, though.
He didn’t give me time to understand what was going on as he suddenly grabbed my back with one hand, pulling me closer to him, while his other hand found its way behind my head.
And then it happened.
His lips gently pressed against mine with his eyes closed, leaving me to just stand there, too stunned to move.
A Christmas kiss.
But not any kiss…My first kiss.
Time that had stopped for me finally started to move again. I wanted to run from reality, yet Blake would always catch up to me. Wherever I went, he would always be there to catch me.
Although I wasn’t sure if what I felt toward him was love, I was sure that it was him who made me feel alive.
And before I realized it, he had become someone I didn’t want to lose.