Every person has a story behind their scars, and every single one of us has them—be it that they rest on our skin or on our heart—so it’s pointless to go around judging people without knowing them.
I was stunned. Silence revolved around me. With each step I got to know Blake, I became more and more surprised at the outcome of my curiosity.
My lips parted, trying to voice out something, but no words came out as I finally understood his words. Max and Melissa, they were engaged! Surely, when I looked at them, they were like a real couple, but I could never guess that they would have been engaged in the past. My mind stopped as I recalled Blake mentioning how Lucas had to do something with it. Did he stop the wedding or something?
“What? When?” was all I could ask for now. The longer I stayed with Blake, the more I came to understand why he acted the way he did, why was he so distant and cold with his family, why I couldn’t read him. Was I also about to unravel the secret behind his hatred for Lucas? Blake wasn’t some rich spoiled guy I thought he was when we first met. He was normal. He suffered, and he was telling me about that suffering despite it being painful.
I only noticed then that the light was off in his study. I couldn’t understand why it didn’t bother me when I came in. He was probably working on his laptop that he didn’t even notice when night fell. I smiled. Even without light in this huge room, you could perfectly see your surroundings due to the lights from the outside and the moonlight breaking through the windows. It seemed so peaceful, but I knew that there was more than what meets the eyes.
The darkness that once seemed so peaceful was about to engulf us. I already knew that this conversation of ours wasn’t going to be some nice chit-chat. And for some reason, the sole thought of having it with Blake brought chills to my skin.
Blake rarely spoke of his past. No, he avoided talking about it.
But now, he chose not to.
“When Melissa was eighteen, and Max twenty, it was seven years ago,” he began as he looked at my way, studying my face. “They were a high school couple, you could say. Max even stayed to repeat a year so that he could remain by her side. You’d be surprised at what he was like. I think that our high school didn’t know of any bigger delinquent than him.” He chuckled, and I smiled to that newfound information. I could already imagine macho Max as a school’s playboy and shy Mel despite how odd it seemed. Max was rather nice now, cool and calm while the wild look was more suited for Melissa. They did sound cute. I would’ve loved to have met them like that.
“Everyone thought that they were going to get married, and he proposed to her on her eighteenth birthday.” His smile dropped as he put his sandwich back on the plate. This conversation made him lose his appetite, and if I knew one thing about Blake, it’s that he never did. “She said yes, and everyone was happy about it, everyone but Lucas!” He said his name with such hatred that I wanted nothing more but to crawl in some faraway corner and hide. He didn’t hide his feelings for Lucas. I was familiar with them. At one moment, I even began to think that I didn’t want to know.
But I knew that I had. I had to know if I wanted to understand Blake.
“What did—” Sometime in the middle of our conversation, my lips moved on their own as I asked, knowing well that there was no more turning back.
“He pulled out the same stunt as now—” he breathed in and out, dangerous and slow, like a predator ready to pounce on its target trying to hide its presence—its hunger “—when he arranged my marriage to Regina. He strongly believed in uniting our companies with it. Waltz Company, you can guess whose it is.” He put his arms across his eyes as he leaned on the sofa we were sitting on. I could see his muscles flex as he gripped and released his fists a few times with long breaths in between.
He was trying to calm down, and in a normal situation, this would have made me blush, the sight of him before my eyes. But I knew that this wasn’t our normal situation. Knowing the reason behind his current actions, I just couldn’t.
“So Melissa’s husband was…” I trailed, waiting for him to continue. I couldn’t understand myself. While I found myself not wanting to push him, my lips constantly urged him to unravel me more about himself. And that utterly confused and terrified me at the same time. I wondered if he’d get angry at me because of it.
“Regina’s older brother, Ethan,” he said, clearly not angered by my questions, and for that, I was thankful. “He was Max’s rival in high school, you know, two players from rich families. And was also bullying Mel all the time. He hated her for no apparent reason. Or no, maybe he knew that she was his future wife, so he tried to get his anger out on her. I don’t know.” How could their father arrange a marriage to such a person, especially with someone his daughter had a horrible past with? She probably hated him or was even terrified of him because if his actions, yet her father didn’t even take her feelings into consideration.
“Since he was the oldest, he was the next CEO of Waltz Company. So guess what? Our dear, loving father arranged their marriage against her will.” Although I knew it, it still hurt to hear it come so clear from his lips. “That bastard abused her every fucking day in their marriage. For fuck’s sake, he raped her every day!” His breathing became hard and rugged. His fists clenched as all color drained from them. As much as his behavior scared me, I knew that it would’ve hurt him much more if I were to run away. Especially now that he was finally opening up to me, now that the final pieces of the puzzle were coming together.
“He died in a car accident four months later. Melissa almost went through the miscarriage because of the beating she got from him, and he never gave a fuck about it!”
I couldn’t take it. I thought I was ready to face it, yet I was weak, and it broke my heart. I took his hands as I sat in his lap before placing my lips on his fists, trying to somehow remind him that all of that was in the past.
To calm him down.
Even though I was trying, in the deaf silence of his study, I could still hear his loud and fast heartbeat. He was far from calming down, yet I took my time. I couldn’t give up. Most of the time, I would be the one being confronted, especially that day when I told him about my parents. It was different. We were different persons, but I knew.
We were both blaming ourselves for our pasts.
“It was not your fault,” I spoke what he needed to hear, what was the truth, yet he shook his head.
“It was—I was too busy trying to pull back the company on its feet that I haven’t noticed what was going on with my own family. Max had it worse. After her rejection, he suffered. When he found out about Melissa…God, he loved her so much that he didn’t even care that she was pregnant with someone else. He tried to save her baby at all costs that he even chose his profession so that he could make it. He knew what psychical shock it would’ve been for her to lose her baby. She constantly feared that her baby was not going to make it, yet Max studied so hard and made sure she knew that everything was going to be okay. He stayed by her side until the very end,” he continued, and before I could even realize what was going on, tears formed in my eyes. I did that lot lately.
“And Lucas?” I threw the name of his father the moment I found out about those two. “What did he do when he found out?” I asked. The darkness seemed to completely swallow Blake’s face. He let out a dry chuckle, his eyes looked like they never knew of light, of joy. Only hatred. Pure, raging hatred.
“Nothing. He very well knew what was going on, yet he didn’t give a damn about it. He firmly believed that our company was going to fall apart, and the only way out was that marriage, so he turned a blind eye to it. We all found out too late. The car accident happened when he tried to escape the police. Melissa was taken to the hospital when the miscarriage almost happened, and she couldn’t hide the reason behind her state,” he finished, and my heartbeat quickened. My body shook as my lips trembled. I couldn’t believe that something so terrible happened to my friend.
“She was being threatened by him to keep quiet. Her bruises were never in visible places. We couldn’t know…But I should’ve. I’m her older brother. I fucking should’ve noticed!”
I tried to confront him, but he was faster. He was hugging me tightly, embracing me while I cried on his chest. I didn’t even know why I cried. He had the right to cry more than I did. Now I understood his hatred for Lucas and his words that his family ruined Melissa. Safe houses. Why he was so adamant on building those safe houses. His sister was one of those abused women. I understood everything.
“It took us a whole three years to get our Mel back. Thanks to Max, she is even stronger than before now, and she got a healthy baby. I know that they still love each other. Everyone can see it clearly in their eyes…But I guess that she’s simply too scared to start married life now, and no one’s pushing her.” I could understand that. I thought that experience I had with Blake was difficult, yet it was nowhere as close as hers. I was afraid of sleeping with Blake again, but she…she was afraid to have happiness in her life, to get married.
“But it’s so hard on Max, you know. He never stopped loving her.” He was telling me their story, and I made sure to take in every single information, to acknowledge their tale. That sad smile I could see here and there on Max’s face was true. I was never over-thinking things. He loved her, and because of that, he made sure that he gave her space. He was willing to wait. He never took an interest in other women because he waited. He hoped that he’d be with her again.
“I still remember how broken he was when she returned him the engagement ring and said that she couldn’t marry him ‘because she didn’t love him like that,’ which my father told her to do.” By now, my tears could no longer remain silent. Sobs full of pain left my lips as he closed his eyes, hiding his own pain. She loved him even after all this time. I could only imagine how hard it was for her to say no to a person she loved, probably wholeheartedly.
I could never do that to Blake. It would hurt me much more now that I knew his feelings. I loved him, but I feared to tell him, yet I knew that I had to say it as soon as possible. One could never know what tomorrow brings. The same went with me, with him, with Mel and Max. The same went for everyone. When you love, you should tell that to your loved ones while you still have a chance because once they’re gone, no matter how loud you scream or hard you cry, they won’t be able to hear your voice.
“Why are you crying? I’m the one that should be doing that. You’re supposed to be the one confronting me,” he asked, trying to lighten up the atmosphere, but I couldn’t stop. Suddenly the room didn’t seem so dark as it was before, and I noticed that his heartbeat was somewhat back to normal now that my head was tightly pressed on his chest. That was right. He was the one supposed to cry, but he didn’t.
“It’s because you won’t cry that I’m the one doing it instead.” I probably sounded like a wreck at the moment, but I couldn’t stop or hide my feelings like what he told me didn’t affect me at all. My cries only seemed to get worse as I tried to talk. “And because of the two of them…They had such a horrible past. They didn’t deserve it.” My tears have long ago overflowed. I tried to hold them back, but it was all in vain. It was useless, and I didn’t care. I felt like this was the only right thing to do at the moment and was surprisingly okay with me.
“Yeah, and that’s all in the past. You can see why I acted that way when I found out about that marriage offer,” was his grim reply, and I knew that he was trying to hide how much he was actually hurt for my sake, but I didn’t want that. I didn’t want him to hide things, to not have someone to confide in. For that reason, I openly cried before him. He didn’t need to be brave or act tough around me. It was more than enough if he decided to stay by my side. I loved his playful side. I loved his passion. I loved the way he cared. I loved him for being himself.
“You have no idea just how much I want to kill that bastard!” He sighed as his arms relaxed before moving from my back. I immediately started missing the warmth they gave me as he moved them to his side.
But even after telling me all that, something seemed off like he was trying to hide some details from me.
Lucas.
Before I found out about Mel, Blake said that Lucas had something to do with Marine’s death, and his reaction was pretty much the same as the one he currently showed me. Could it be that she was also dragged into this story? Could it be that…
“Blake…There’s something you’re not telling me, right?” His eyes had widened before he took a sharp intake of breath. I gulped. I immediately noticed that it was not something to be talked about, so I apologized. I overstepped my boundaries.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean…I just let my tongue be faster than my own mind. Forget about it please,” I nervously rambled, but he only gave a lifeless chuckle, the same as the one earlier.
Just what had happened to him? How deep did his grudge for Lucas go?
“I told you that you were smart after all,” was his grim reply. “Mel was simply a backup plan. You could call it like that. That bastard, that’s how low he thought of our family!” No, it couldn’t be that he had done what I thought he had. I shook my head in disbelief.
“Before he arranged Mel’s marriage, he had arranged my twin sister Marine’s, and also to the Ethan. But their past, their past wasn’t as sweet as his and Mel’s,” he whispered.
Oh God!
“Do you really want to know how fucked up my family is? Because this is just a half of the story. And it’s much, much kinder than the rest of it.” He stared at me with cold and blank eyes. I watched him with my lips parted.
I didn’t think as I did the only thing that seemed logical to me at that time.
I nodded my head.
Whether or not I regretted the outcome of our conversation, I was ready to head there. No, it’s just that even I wasn’t ready to hear it. I decided that I would no longer turn my back.
Because that’s what happens when you find your precious someone, no? You become prepared to make sacrifices.