Until all the words are said and all conflicts solved, peace cannot occur. Because it’s not in human nature to simply stop a war nor forget it without reason.
Morning would always follow after night, no matter how far it seemed to be. I usually embraced those mornings, the one that made my nightmares instantly disappear with a single ray of the early sun, but that day is another story.
If it weren’t for the annoying ringing of Blake’s phone and those relentless rays of the light that couldn’t find a better place to fall on but my eyes, I probably wouldn’t have woken up this early. I waited and waited, able to deal with the sun rays, but the ringing of his phone that had really started going on my nerves was just unavoidable. I wanted to move and crush it.
Move…
I couldn’t move.
Only when I opened my eyes completely did I realize the situation I was thrown in, or better, entangled with. Somehow, unbeknown to me, I had managed to fall asleep with Blake in bed, which wasn’t really that confusing as the fact that he was literally hugging the life out of me so tight that I couldn’t even move at all!
His leg that weighed a ton held mine in place. No matter how much I tried, I just couldn’t escape from him. His right arm hugged from behind and trapped my own next to my chest, which I also couldn’t move even for an inch as I was left to wonder how the hell did we manage to get in that position.
I tried to recall what happened last night. Christmas was just as I saw it happen: a complete disaster. And at the end of it all, I didn’t even get to spend it with Ayden as I had promised him. I could only think that he was really disappointed because he was really looking forward to it. It had been two years since we got to celebrate it properly, and after all that happened with Maria…Oh God! What if he thought that I left with her? He didn’t see us arguing to the end. What if he came to believe that I have abandoned him?
I needed to find him.
I swung my head back, mentally cursing when I realized how strong Blake’s jaw was when I started to feel pain from the impact. Fuck! Why was I even surprised? He had a defined jaw, so it’s only normal that hitting that thing would result in me feeling pain instead. He grumbled, and I smiled. At least, one thing went right.
“Blake! Wake up. I need to stand up,” I said, and he only mumbled some incoherent words before snuggling his face in my neck, making the hairs on my arms rise. That fucking tickled, especially with his breath on my skin!
“Blake, I’ll bite off your nose if you don’t let me go right this moment!” I tried again.
“Nope.”
Did he just nope me?
Slowly, not giving away anything that would give him time to prepare ahead, I moved my head forward, pretending to just run from him before taking a deep breath. Knowing all too well the consequences I’d feel with my skin, I decided to sacrifice my head for the greater good. And with all strength I had, I swung it back, hearing a satisfying curse from him indicating that he was in pain, which almost made me forgot my own. Immediately after that, he removed his hand to inspect the damage on his face as I enjoyed my first traces of freedom.
“Victory!” I yelled, already forgetting about Blake as I waited for the words of complaint that would most definitely follow.
“I will murder you,” was all he said with his voice still groggy from the sleep. I only chuckled, moving myself to a sitting position and slowly taking my legs one after the other from his. Freedom.
“I don’t care. I have to find Ayden. Kill me later,” I replied as I got away from his bed, turning my head to see him holding his nose.
Oops.
“Huh?” he asked, moving his arm to see bits of blood on it. That…was not supposed to make that much of a damage.
“Sorry. You wouldn’t move,” I apologized and gulped.
“Really? Few words would’ve worked just fine,” he said as he grabbed his nose, trying to stop the bleeding.
“Well…The alarm didn’t work, and…why do you even have an alarm set on Christmas?” I asked, and he shrugged.
“I forgot to turn it off. No reason in particular,” he dismissed the subject, waving his free hand and nodded understandingly.
“Forget that. I need to find Ayden. I forgot about him the last night. I have to find him and apologize for leaving him alone. And explain that I was here all the time,” I rambled nervously, and as I was about to exit Blake’s room, his strong arm landed on the doors passing just barely next to my face, making me gasp. I immediately turn to face him. Holy…His nose looked much worse now that I’ve gotten a closer look to it.
When did he even get up?
“Don’t you dare go out like this,” he said, his face just an inch from mine as my back came in contact with the cold door frame. He had that smile I came to like so much. I could never get tired of playful Blake.
I concentrated on his words instead of those lips as I tried to understand what he meant by “like that?” Then my eyes slowly moved from them toward my own body as I slowly came to realize that I wore nothing but his shirt and my underwear.
“Oh,” was all that left my mouth.
“Yes, oh,” he repeated and knowingly grinned.
I gave him my own version of I-might-have-forgotten-just-a-little-bit-about-that-unimportant-fact smile. “Oh my god! Sorry. I’ll get something to wear right this second,” I immediately exclaimed as I snuck under his arm and started to search through his old wardrobe.
I could swear that he gave me some shorts of his. How did I forget to put them? As I came to the last drawer, I found about four or five of them, so I leaned down to take the black one, trying to match to the color of his shirt.
“Tease,” Blake mumbled as I straightened my back before turning to look at him confused by his words.
“What? Did you say something?” Maybe I misheard him or something. He only shook his head before bringing his fingers back to his nose only to see that it was still bleeding.
“I’ll do something about this,” he said, staring at his own blood, and even with his nose broken, he was still as good-looking as always. Can’t really blame me; I’m a girl after all. Hormonal girl. Bad girl!
“Ade comes first,” I mumbled to myself before putting those shorts on; for the first time in my life, I was grateful for having such a petite figure that his shirt covered enough.
“Alright, I’ll join you once I’ve dealt with my nose. Do you know where you should—”
At that moment, I exited his room and started running around the hall. I came to the huge stairs leading to that room we were in yesterday.
Yesterday. Maria and our conversation…I shook my head. Conversation with Blake. My parents, his sister…I shook my head again. I should stop thinking about those things now. I was okay. I was not the one to blame, Blake said so.
And then I stopped in my tracks, suddenly remembering something very, very important.
I had no idea where the hell I should go to!
“Nor do I have any idea how to get back to Blake!” I exclaimed. I only rushed there on instincts. I was not familiar with the house at all!
“C’mon, Santa. Don’t make this any harder for me. Help me,” I pleaded to no one with a sigh.
“Can I help you?” an elderly voice said behind me. Seriously?
“Wow, Santa. You’re really fast the day after Christmas,” I said and frowned before turning around. I came eye to eye with George who had an amused look on his. I hoped that he hadn’t heard my outburst.
Not Santa, but will do.
“I ensure you that I’m not Santa, my dear,” he said, and I blushed from embarrassment. He had heard me after all. “But if I can, then I’ll be glad to help you,” he said, and I nodded, looking anywhere but in his eyes. After our encounter, I couldn’t stand to look at his eyes. Jesus, why did I have the most complicated meetings with people that would turn out to be important in my life? He was going to be my grandfather-in-law!
“Well, I…am looking for my brother, actually. Little, acting like a superhero and extremely loud. If you have seen him by any chance, can you help me?” I asked, putting a hand behind my head nervously. Knowing Ayden, it was impossible not to spot him in a place where he was surrounded by strangers he could tell his adventures to.
“I’m quite sure that I have indeed seen a kid of that description. It’s hard not to, actually. He’s in the kitchen,” he replied, and I smiled. Damn, Ade, I’m so going to kill you once I get my hold on you.
“Sorry, he’s a bit too cheerful,” I said and smiled shyly.
“Oh, not at all. It was funny around him in the house. I haven’t enjoyed myself since Blake was a kid,” he said and smiled. “Follow me. I’m actually on my way to the kitchen, so I’ll take you there as well,” he said, and I nodded, following after him.
“Thank you,” I said as I followed from behind. I still couldn’t believe that yesterday had really happened.
I sighed. It was pointless to think about it. It would only leave me hurting because I couldn’t brace myself for something I knew was coming. Blake said it himself when he asked me to marry him the first time. We were getting together just because of our child so that he or she won’t have to grow up without both parents by their side. This relationship was supposed to be professional. Was it not then?
“Watch out!” was all I heard, drowning in the sea of my own doubts. Something soft hit my head. It took me down, nonetheless. Only one thought was on my mind at the moment while I fell—my baby. Throwing all rational thoughts aside, I used my arms to shield my belly from the impact of the fall, but the cold ground never came.
“Damn!” someone groaned. I heard a voice from beneath me, and my first thought was that it was the floor talking. “Get off me!” it said again, and I opened my eyes to see a guy under me. He was around Blake’s age.
I realized that I knew him. It was Dylan, the guy who once flirted with me.
And the one who warned me of the attack? I knew that voice as well.
“Oh, sorry,” I said as I got up and turned around. “Max, I’m going to kill you. Very, very painfully!” I slowly said, but Max already knew that my threats were most dangerous when spoken silently. Looking around, I noticed the thing he hit me with, some fluffy toy in the shape of a ball, and I threw it from one hand to another, getting used to it.
“Is there any way you’d give up on your revenge?” he asked as I smiled at him innocently. Or that’s how it seemed to others.
“No way.” And with that, I rushed toward him who immediately started running away.
“Come back here, you coward! Act like the man you are!” I yelled as he passed by the doors, making me speed up, ignoring both confused George and Dylan. I didn’t recall seeing Dylan the previous day.
It all happened in slow motion. It was like something you’d see in action movies when they show every single movement that occurs in one particular second. I jumped, preparing to throw that fluffy ball already having targeted Max while passing by the same entrance he just did. And by some twisted turn of fate, at the very same moment, Blake chose to coolly stroll past us. I swear I wouldn’t forget the look on his face for a while.
Noticing me, he only parted his lips with a rather bored expression on his face as if he already accepted his fate, as if he truly knew that our impact was unavoidable. I, on the other hand, couldn’t stop my mid-air maneuver even if I wanted to, so without much choice, I slammed into him, taking both of us down.
The next thing I knew I was sprawled on top of him who only had his eyes closed and had on his face a really bad grimace indicating that he was in pain. In his nose, he had some toilet paper he probably used to stop the bleeding while I didn’t feel pain at all, having him take all the damage.
That one was most definitely not my fault.
Max. Yes, I’ll blame Max.
“Blake,” I said breathlessly as he opened his eyes.
After that followed his usual smack-Kaley’s-head routine, making me glare at him.
“Damn it, woman. Are you trying to kill me today?” he yelled, and I shook my head. “You could have gotten yourself seriously wounded or even…” He stopped, having that concerned look on his face, and I knew what he meant. “Or even hurt our baby.”
“Sorry,” I sincerely apologized, and he sighed, hugging me once again before sitting up with me on his lap. Was I that light to him? Who the heck manages to rise from the ground with another person on top of them?
“Are you alright? Hurt?” he then asked.
“Yes and no. I’m not hurt,” I replied, playing with my fingers. It’s always him that makes me feel something. That makes me feel like this now.
Guilty.
“Sorry for troubling you.”
“Stop apologizing. It’s all Max’s fault, not yours.” And then he glared at his friend. For once, we actually agreed on something. Sure, blame it on Max.
“You go ahead of me and find Ayden. I’ll get your revenge on Max. Shoo now,” he said as he put me down. There it was again, playful Blake with his weird choice of words.
“But…but…” Max protested before smirking when Blake took a pillow. I had a feeling that whatever was about to start…
“You know what this means?” he asked, playing with the pillow menacingly. “War!”
“I do.” Max got another pillow. “And I have no intention of losing it!”
It was something I most definitely didn’t want to be part of. Or I’d die.
“Go. I’ll cover you!” Blake said, shielding me from Max’s view. “Get her out of here, grandpa!”
Huh?
“Yes, sir!” was all George said before he suddenly grabbed my arm and pulled me out of there. “Trust me, you don’t want to see the war of the Blackburns.” And I hesitatingly nodded as I followed behind him. Wait, war of the Blackburns? Was Max somehow related to them?
It was then that I heard sounds of crashes making me forget my previous question.
“I guess it started,” he mumbled. “Welcome to our family!”
What the hell were the two of them doing?
“Don’t worry about the two of them. This is nothing compared to the old days, really. One day, we were having a water war, and the whole mansion had gotten soaked, and they destroyed the paintings. Oh, the paintings they destroyed…Marine made them clean the whole house because of it. She was really passionate about them.”
“She must have been a scary sister to Blake, right?” I asked hesitantly. She sounded interesting.
“You know about her?” he asked surprised, and I nodded.
“Blake told me about her…well, at least, as much as he could. I didn’t want to pressure him, so it’s not like I know much about her.” I left the sentence hanging in the air as he smiled. Blake told me that he would tell me one day, which was why I was going to wait. There was no need for me to keep on urging him to talk about it. Losing someone dear to you invokes huge pain that just doesn’t leave.
And I experienced it myself firsthand.
“That’s…surprising. I don’t know what you did, but he never talks about her. I guess I should thank you for making him open up to you, dear,” he said, and I weakly blushed.
“It’s nothing I guess…” It was surely a coincidence. I was hurting, and it reminded him of his own pain, so he spoke about it. If it were under normal circumstances, I’m sure he would have kept quiet.
What did I even mean to him?
“Nothing my arse, dear.” He chuckled, making me widen my eyes. I think I found out from whom did Blake get his interesting dictionary from. “And I would like to apologize as well.”
“What? No, it’s alright! You haven’t done anything bad,” I rushed as I said truth, but he simply shook his head. That man did nothing wrong to me. There was no need for me to hold resentment for him.
“Maybe, but my family did treat you terribly. My son almost threw you out.”
“But you didn’t know, and you tried to stop him, didn’t you? It was maybe my fault that I came in unannounced and I didn’t explain anything.” I recalled Blake’s words. When we do something we were not too proud of, too many scenarios go through our heads.
I needed to let go.
“Which is why it’s kind of my fault as well. It is all in the past, I hold no ill thoughts because of it.”
“What are you talking about, dear? It’s not your fault at all. Don’t burden yourself. I’m older, so I’m wiser. Listen to me. You’re not the one to blame.”
So unreasonable. But fair.
“But I still destroyed the party with my speech.”
“Trust me, if our family knew it all…Let’s just say we would make a much more honest speech. We know them from some party in Austria. I can’t really recall what it was. It’s been two years since we met, so we thought that it might be proper to invite them like all our friends over the world, but we didn’t really expect them to come. They were always traveling around the world,” he explained, and I weakly nodded. Yeah, I knew that.
“Kay-Kay!” I heard my brother’s voice before I even saw him. We were already in the kitchen, and he rushed toward me.
“Ade!” I said and caught him and swung him around. “Merry Christmas!”
“Merry Christmas too, sis!” he exclaimed and giggled. I chuckled. “We’re finally spending a Christmas together?” he asked, and I nodded excitedly.
“Sorry for leaving yesterday, Ade. I…”
“Went to sleep earlier so she could get a Christmas present for you from Santa,” Blake’s voice interrupted me as he leaned on the doorframe staring at me intensely. My lips parted. Jesus fucking Christ. It was Blake caveman edition. Has he never heard of clothes? Shirts? Wait! He had some when he came down. When had he lost it?
“What did you get?” Ignoring Blake like it was normal to walk around the house with your torso naked, Ayden started jumping around me in excitement. I only gave Blake my best yeah-what-did-I-get look, making him grin.
“You know how your daddy and mommy got together like a family and then you two came?” Blake asked him, and Ade nodded. My face paled. What was he going to say? Nothing good ever came in conversations with kids about how they came to be.
“Well, your sister got someone to take care of her as well. That means you got yourself an older brother,” he continued, and I sighed in relief. Okay, that I could take.
“Who is it?” Ade huffed, not liking the idea, making me smile in return. He was so cute and obvious sometimes.
“Me,” was all Blake had said before Ade smiled. My brother excitedly jumped on Blake and hugged him.
“Yay, Bwake is my new brother. Thank you, Santa. I promise I’ll be a good kid next year!” he exclaimed, and tears welled up in my eyes. I just couldn’t help but feel emotional when he thought so brightly about the future.
Home. Safe.
“Alright then, let’s go,” Blake said, getting up and coming right next to my side.
“What?” I asked confused and sighed. He only threw me across his shoulders. I was too stunned to do anything.
“To sleep,” was all he simply said.
“What?”
“You saw Ayden. He’s okay and all, so now we can go to sleep. That being said, will you be okay with Amy today, little man?” he asked Ayden. My brother nodded, more than eager to join his friend. Traitor!
“B-but…What?” I protested as he started moving. Only then did it get to me what he had done, just like the fact that he was carrying me like a sack of potato on his shoulder.
Caveman Blake, bad Blake.
“I was lonely without you. Every single bone in my body is aching, and as my future wife, you have to help me when I need you. Who else will?”
“What?”
“Everyone, we’re going to sleep, so don’t expect us until dinner. Have a nice day and Merry Christmas.” He started walking back to his old room as George stared at us with an expression too horrified for an old guy to have. Poor man. I believed that his assumptions of “sleep” and those that Blake said were far more different for his heart to handle.
Me? I was left with only one word on my mind.
“What?”
Back then, I believed that going along the flow was the wrong choice, that it would simply stain us bit by bit to that point where we could no longer go back.
But that was not true. We could all stop. We could all turn around and go back. We just forgot that we had that option as well.