Chapter 10

Tamara

I slept in the next morning, awaking to a heavenly soreness in my limbs. I wished that I didn’t have to wake alone, but I understood why Alex had to jet off back to the palace last night. Maybe someday down the line we would actually sleep with each other.

The sheer curtains covering my window glowed with mid-morning light, and everything was still. I took that to mean Joanne wasn’t home yet.

I stretched in bed and then rose, pulling on a robe and heading to the kitchen to make some coffee. I had the day off from shooting but had to go in for a costume fitting later in the afternoon, which was fine with me. A morning off was the same as a day off to me. All I needed was a little time to recharge and relax and I was ready for the next adventure.

Joanne practically crashed through the front door as I filled the pot with water. I jumped and some of it splashed over the sides.

“What the hell?” I asked, spinning to confront her.

Joanne wore a dazzling grin, her hair a splendid mess of red. “Sorry! I wasn’t sure if Mr. Prince Charming might still be here. Wanted to give you guys some warning.”

“Fair enough.” I turned back to the machine. “Coffee?”

“Oh, please.” She fell onto the couch, sighing. “Buckets of it.”

“Long night?” I asked.

“In the best way possible. Tristan and I stayed up until the sun rose.”

I set the coffee machine to brew and joined Jo on the couch, moving her legs so I could sit. She sat up and pushed herself into the corner of the couch, facing me.

“You need to tell me everything about your date with the prince,” she demanded. “Every little detail.”

I smiled. “Not sure you want every detail.”

Jo’s mouth fell open. “I can’t believe you! I would ask if we could switch lives but I’m pretty happy with my son of a duke.”

“I’m sure he’s more than that.”

She smiled dreamily. “Oh, he’s much more. Charming. Intelligent. Funny. Kind.” Jo grabbed a pillow and cuddled it to her chest. “And he likes me. He really likes me.”

A knot of concern ached in my chest but I tried my best to ignore it. Joanne was the kind of girl who fell without even thinking to grab onto something. Worrying about my little sister was second nature to me, but I tried to set my doubts aside. Jo was happy. If this guy was going to break her heart, he was going to do it whether I voiced my concern or not. I made a mental note to be ready in case the other shoe did drop.

“When are you seeing him again?” I asked.

“As soon as possible,” she said. “He’s going to check his schedule but he wants to take me out for dinner tomorrow.”

“I’m happy for you.”

Jo grinned. “Thanks, sis. Now, back to telling me almost everything about your night with Alex.”

I told her about the restaurant, and how easily our conversation flowed. The only details I left out were the specifics of our sex, though I did let her know it happened and it was phenomenal.

“Tristan and I had sex for the first time last night,” she said. “In case that wasn’t obvious.”

“I guessed from the fact that you’re glowing,” I joked.

“He was really shy about it,” she said. “It was pretty cute, actually.”

I found that funny, since the last word I would ever use to describe Alexander was shy.

Jo soon went off to take a nap, and I got ready for my day. I hated showering off the scent of Alexander, but considering I was also caked in sweat, it was for the best.

I showed up to the set later that day, glowing from the inside out. Though costume fittings were boring and routine, my mood steadied me like a ballast the whole way through. I made plans in my head to curl up with a movie and some popcorn later, and was still half in the clouds when Michael called my name just as I was leaving the set.

“Tamara!” he called again.

I turned, frowning, to see Michael jogging to catch up with me.

“Hey,” I said. “What’s up?”

I figured there was a question he needed to ask me, something to do with work. I hoped, anyway.

He stopped in front of me, running a hand through his hair in a way that used to make my heart skip. “I just wanted to talk to you. It’s been awhile.”

I eyed him suspiciously. “You seem like you’ve got something very specific on your mind.”

“You caught me.” He grinned sheepishly. “I just can’t stop thinking about you and that prince.”

“Kind of weird.”

Michael normally dripped charm. The fact that he was off his game concerned me a little. What was going on with him? What was I in for?

“No, I mean...” He winced. “Are you guys, like, seeing each other?”

I wanted to tell him, once again, that it was none of his business, but that could lead to rumors. The last thing I wanted was rumors.

“No, we’re, like, not.”

If Michael picked up on my bitter sarcasm, he didn’t show it. Instead, his smile grew. He took a step closer to me. Despite every bitter thought in my head, my heart picked up just a little.

It was his eyes, I reasoned. He had a way of making it feel like he saw you and only you, and that he was looking right into your soul. It was one of the first things that drew me to him, and even after everything it was apparently still my weakness.

“That’s good.” His voice was lower now. “I thought I’d missed my chance.”

An assortment of nasty replies lined themselves up on my tongue, but none made it out. Something about the way my old feelings fluttered in my gut stopped them, and for a second I just stared at him. That gave Michael all the encouragement he needed to keep talking.

“I’m all done here for today,” he said. “Why don’t we go for a drink?”

I recalled those early days last year, when the same question had stirred feelings of hope and warmth in my chest. Now there was only ice. Getting over feelings for somebody was hard, and it was never a perfect process, even if they hurt you. But I could not, and would not, ever give in to those feelings. Especially when the ones of hatred were so much stronger.

“Absolutely not,” I said finally.

I turned and left, strolling rather than stomping like I wanted to. Only when I was in a cab on my way home did I realize that the encounter didn’t shake me nearly as much as it would have a few weeks earlier. When we started shooting this season, I could barely look at Michael without wanting to puke from a nauseous combination of longing and revulsion.

Now look at me. Go me.

I checked my phone in the cab and realized I’d left it on silent during the fitting and missed a call from my mom. I figured she was just checking in, but I was happy to call her back all the same. It had been awhile since we last spoke.

“Hey Mom,” I said when she answered. “How are things on the other side of the pond?”

Mom’s reply was not as bright and cheerful as I expected. “Have you talked to Joanne recently?” Urgency threaded through her voice. “I’ve been trying to get a hold of her but she won’t pick up my calls.”

“Of course I’ve talked to her,” I said. “She’s just napping. I’m about fifteen minutes away from my flat, but I can wake her up and get her to call you when I get back if you want.”

“Wake her up?” she asked tightly.

“Yeah?”

Why did she sound so confused?

It hit me, and my mouth fell open.

“Oh, no,” I said breathily. “Did she not tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

“That she came to visit me.”

Silence for a moment, and then, “She did what?”

“Yeah. She got here just over a week ago,” I said. “Why wouldn’t she tell you? That’s not like Jo.”

“Probably because she knows that I know she still has exams!”

Oh, no. Jo, what are you doing?

“You’re sure?” I asked. “She told me she was finished.”

“I have her exam schedule,” Mom confirmed. “She had one three days ago, another two this coming week. What the hell is she playing at?”

“I don’t know,” I replied. “I’m nearly home though. I’ll talk to her, find out what’s going on and let you know. I’ll tell her to call you, okay?”

“Okay.” She sighed. “I’m worried about her, Tamara.”

“I know.”

We ended the call and I gritted my teeth for the rest of the cab ride, wondering if this was Jo finally snapping. But she’d shown no signs! The way she turned up, all bubbles and smiles, it was enough to make me wonder if she honestly just didn’t know she still had exams. But Jo wasn’t stupid. She wouldn’t just book a flight without making sure she was finished school for the year first.

So what was she doing?

I stormed through my flat and found Jo in bed, mouth gaping open, snoring lightly. I pulled the pillow out from under her head and whacked her over the legs with it. “Wake up.”

“Whoa, hey?” Jo sat up, sleepily. “What’s going on? Why’d you do that?’

“Why didn’t you tell Mom that you’re over here?” I asked.

Jo rubbed her eyes. “Because I knew she’d freak out.”

“Would she be freaking out, perhaps, because you left before you finished your exams?”

Jo shook her head. “No, like I said. Done exams.”

“That’s not what she seems to think.”

“Well, I may have left out the part where I’m done with school entirely,” Jo said. “I dropped out.” She reached her hand toward the pillow. “Can I have that back? I was having a good dream.”

“You dropped out?” I screeched. “What the hell, Jo?”

Sensing that I wasn’t going to let her return to her happy dreamland, Jo pitched a sigh and hauled herself out of bed. She started dressing.

“It was too much pressure,” she said.

“Jo, look, I know Mom and Dad can be pretty overbearing when it comes to this kind of thing,” I said. “That doesn’t mean you should just leave university.”

Jo moved over to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water. “I’m restless. I want to have fun, do crazy things that I’ll remember when I’m old and ugly and boring. I can’t do that if I’m stuck in an institution I hate and frankly don’t believe in, all to please my parents because they didn’t get the opportunity to follow their own dreams.” She shrugged, bringing the glass to her lips. “I’m over it.”

Jo drank, and I stared in disbelief. How could she be so nonchalant? So flippant?

“Jo! Why didn’t you at least talk it over with someone first?”

She wiped her mouth on her shoulder. “I did. My roommate Stella.”

“You guys hated each other.”

“At least we found something we could agree on.”

I closed my eyes, massaging my temples. “I meant why didn’t you talk it over with someone like me? Or Mom or Dad? Or even a goddamn guidance counselor or something?”

Jo dumped the rest of her water and placed the glass in the sink. She turned to me, folding her arms and staring with a resolute expression.

“I’ve been living by someone else’s rules all my life,” she said. “I’m tired of it.”

I couldn’t take it anymore. I flung my hands in the air in exasperation.

“Because you’re a child, Jo!” I yelled. “When you grow up a little you’re going to have more responsibilities than you ever thought possible, but you’re not there yet. You dropping out of school on a whim and running off to another country to hide only proves that!”

Jo took a long breath, staring at me with something akin to hatred in her eyes. Finally, she shook her head.

“I’m not going to stand here and take this,” she said, grabbing her bag and keys from the counter.

“You’re not going anywhere! We’re going to call your school and see if they’ll still let you sit the rest of your exams!”

Jo didn’t listen. She stormed for the door, hauling it open angrily and whipping her head around to glare back at me. “I came here because I thought you’d understand,” she said. “But you’re just like Mom and Dad!”

Jo slammed the door, vibrations echoing through my apartment. I considered going after her, but decided we could both use a little space.

With a hefty sigh, I collapsed onto the couch.